How To Hold An Amway Grand Opening

Seeing as how lots of ambots are doing searches on how to do an Amway grand opening and end up at this blog I thought I should rerun the post about our grand opening for new readers who haven’t read it. This is just one of the things that Ambots are ordered to do by the fucking assholes in the Amway upline. It’s all part of the bullshit to sell the hope not the soap.

The first time I heard the term “grand opening” was when this arrogant prick friend of my husband’s that I have never liked was holding an Amway grand opening and Ambot wanted to stop by the bastard’s house because we were out in the area that day and the bastard was having a BBQ. You know the old Amway trick of pretending to have a BBQ but its just a disguise for a Scamway meeting. This “BBQ” was just a ruse to get us in that part of town so we could support his grand opening. I probably said something to the effect what a fucking loser that asshole is for getting involved in Amway and I warned my husband not to buy any of that useless overpriced Amway shit. We got there and I wasn’t impressed with anything but some could say that would probably be mostly due to the fact that I can’t stand the asshole and would never be impressed with anything he’s got going on. My husband poured me an XS energy drink, I think cranberry. I took a sip and told him it tasted like cat piss. I think he was drinking root beer XS so I tried that and told him it tasted like toothpaste that a cat had pissed on. They had a bunch of shitty Amway products on display. I told his wife that we’d been involved in Amway before and hadn’t made any money and we couldn’t persuade anyone we knew to come to Amway meetings or buy any of the shit.

What I didn’t know was that the Amway cult leaders had already started brainwashing my husband. Unfortunately Ambot didn’t learn his lesson the first time around. How’s that quote go? Those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it. We were doomed to lose more money thanks to his fucking asshole “friend” and the fucking Amway cult. Except this time was the sheer evil horror of the Amway cult that also brought with it emotional distress because of the horrible evil fucking assholes that were in our Amway WWDB upline. That horror didn’t happen the first time so this was what they meant when they talked about how Amway had changed since the first time we’d been in. Amway had gone done the shithole even worse! Amway now meant dealing with horrible evil scum of the earth greedy bastards out to destroy relationships of anyone who didn’t submit to the Amway cult leaders.

The assholes in our upline said we must hold a “grand opening” as soon as possible after getting started in our Amway business so everyone would know that we were Amway distributors (how fucking embarrassing is that to admit!) and could order products from us. This was also the time to sign up new IBO’s who were interested in starting their own business. Let’s see. Our circle of friends hasn’t changed much in the past 10 years. The people Ambot bugged the shit out of the last time around in Amway who weren’t interested were the same ones he’d be harrassing again.

We chose a date and decided to hold the dreaded Amway BBQ at our house. Amway does not sell stuff normal people would have at a BBQ - hamburgers, buns, condiments, salad, cake, ice cream, etc. Seeing as how Ambot had high expectations of a huge crowd off we went to Costco to stock up for the BBQ.

Grocery bill tally for the BBQ Grand Opening - about $150.

We printed up invitations and gave them out to a lot of people including all neighbors. Ambot actually knocked on doors and spoke with neighbors and handed them an invitation. He also sniped a few people who happened to be walking past our house while we were outside gardening.

The grand opening was an afternoon event. Our first guest showed up around 1. He had other plans so was just planning to grab a burger, take a look at some of the Amway products and hear a little bit about the business.

Actually this fellow was about as close as we ever got to signing up a downline with the exception of the one friend who signed up and then quit a couple of weeks later. This fellow came to a board plan and was interested and liked the IBO’s and their fakey nicey nice act. Then a mutual friend told him Amway was a scam and he backed off. Ambot was pissed off at our friend who had the gall to say Amway is a scam.

Funny how he agrees with that statement now!

Then it got quiet for a couple of hours. Ambot went into the house to watch TV. Things picked up closer to 4pm. Some of our hungry elderly neighbors were happy to come over for free food. One of them even noticed some of the products displayed on a table and triumphantly, disgustedly declared “this is Amway”. A neighbor and his kids came over too. The fellow had never heard of Amway so Ambot gave him a good run down on the business. He was sure he’d found a prospect. Wrong. They moved shortly after that.

Bottom line is as far as promoting the Amway business the grand opening was useless. Like everything else in Amway holding an Amway grand opening is a total waste of time and money. Fortunately most of the food we bought could be frozen or had a good enough shelf life that we were able to consume them later.

Some of the upline dropped by that evening and when they heard that the grand opening resulted in no prospects or customers they tried to get us to hold another grand opening as soon as possible. Nope. Never happened. We could have held a million Amway grand openings and the attendance and results wouldn’t have changed. This was exactly the same thing as happened the first time we were in Scamway. We invited everyone we knew and lot of people we didn’t know too and maybe a handful showed up for the free food and never resulted in any sales or signing up new IBO’s.

So to the people who keep showing up at my blog looking how to hold an “Amway grand opening” - don’t waste your time or money. Get out now before you face further embarrassment and financial losses and emotional distress.

Amway sucks!

WWDB = World Wide Destructive Bastards and its named that for a reason - it is out to destroy your relationships! WWDB sucks! STAY AWAY!!!!! Fuck Amway!

But what really sucks are the fucking assholes you’re forced to deal with in your WWDB upline. That is the worst thing about belonging to the Amway cult. The horrible evil people you meet and the way they treat you.