Recent Search Criteria to Land On Married to an Ambot

My blog is pretty high on the search engines for just about anything related to Amway so I decided to put down what some of my searchers have been using to end up at my blog over the past day. Followed by my thoughts on that search!

“sex sex sex Amway big” - those Amway bastards ain’t getting sex because being in Amway is such a huge turn off that they gotta head to the Internet for their sex fixes

“XS energy drinks” - what can I say? Piss water!!!!

“Amway IBO” - seems a little on the tame side as far as searchers go

“Brad Wolgamott affair” - mind your own business you fucking nosy ambots!

“how to quit the Amway website” - how about just stop visiting there? Don’t click the link!

“Ron Puryear scandal” - I can’t nail down only one

“Platinum level income Amway” - whatever amount the lying sack of shit tells you. They lying Amway assholes like to throw around $100,000. They’re losing money though they won’t admit it - fake it till you make it!

“Amway summer conference 2012” - yup see Anna Banana for your Amway info cause its top secret info that you won’t get out of WWDB or Amway!

“Equipo Vision Amway scam” - I believe this is a Spanish speaking Amway cult.

“Amway Boise 2012” - yup still number one for ambots to find their info!

“Inspiring letters from Amway Platinums” - oh excuse me while I puke!!!!! Ha ha ha!!!!

“go to hell Amway” - Impossible! Amway is already there!!!!

“Amway CDs for sale” - why the fuck would you want one????

“Family Reunion WWDB 2012 location” - at least ambots can find that info from my blog because its very hard to find from their cult leaders or anywhere else on the Internet. Top secret location for big cult meeting!

“fuck Amway” - yup that searcher came to the right place!

“Amway Double X” - yup we’ve discussed this one a few times. Puke city!

“WWDB is a scam” - you got that right!

“Amway sex” - yawn!

“We hate Amway” - usually the searchers just say “I hate Amway” so I got a tag team here

“my wife is an ambot” - ooh, I feel for you guy. Maybe you should write a blog too giving the male perspective. You are in the minority. Usually its the husband who is the ambot.

“how do I cancel Communikate” - yup we have that covered here too!

“Amway free gift” - ha ha ha!!! Now there’s a laugh. And was a topic of a post I wrote so this search comes up often.

“quit IBO” - I ain’t quitting you!!!!

“Can I quit Amway through the website” - Amway makes it very difficult for IBO’s to figure out how to quit. The simple way is to stop buying Amway shit, stop attending Scamway meetings, and don’t renew your membership at the end of the year. Its not like you get a refund on your membership fee for the unused portion for the rest of the year.

“Ganesh Shenoy divorce” or various themes on that. A lot of nosy ambots out there.

“fuck Amway” - or did I already cover that one. Get it a lot from my searchers!

“kicked out of Amway” - oh you should be so lucky!!!

“Amway school sex” - Amway has schools for sex classes? Holy shit! Just one of those things you don’t really want to know about!

Amway Product to Stop Sperm Leaking

This has got to be one of the more weirder search criteria that snagged an Amway ambot to my blog: “Amway product to stop sperm leaking”.

Oh you know women just hate that! LOL!!!

And women are probably going to find this topic a whole lot more funny than men!

Well I could go on and give my thoughts on this guy’s problem but I decided to make some sort of attempt of keeping this post reasonably clean.

And by clean I don’t mean my language. I mean clean in that I don’t really want to talk about male bodily functions! Men are gross enough as it is without me detailing the bathroom terms. All married women get this one!

Instead of asking the all knowledgeable expert assholes in his Amway upline he hits the Internet. If I could keep a straight face I’d ask an ambot myself. In fact maybe I’ll save this little gem to ask the next Amway asshole who badgers me about the overpriced shitty product he sells what he’s flogging to make the sperm stop leaking. Be interesting to see what answer I get! Some rotten ambot is gonna be sorry he tried to prospect me!

Amway ambots are liars. They sell snake oil. For anything that ails you they will tell you they have an Amway product that will cure you or help you feel better.

If this ambot asks his upline to recommend an Amway product to stop the leaking sperm he will likely be told to buy Double X because its good for sex. In fact buy just about every Amway Nutrilite vitamin available for sell. Combined they’ll do the trick. He’ll be told to buy Perfect Water and buy those twist tubes to mix with the water. And drink lots of XS piss water and eat plenty of shitty Amway food bars.

Ka ching ka ching ka ching. Spend at least $1000 buying all these Amway snake oil products and see if it gets you the results you need.

And if they don’t work the upline will blame him that he’s doing something wrong. He’s not taking the product correctly. The old blame the victim scam.

For fuck’s sake guy! Talk to your doctor! Don’t go around buying shitty overpriced Amway products that ain’t gonna do piss all good for you!

But thanks for giving me an unusual topic post and a subject that I can embarrass the next ambot about!

How Not To Throw Up After Taking Double X Vitamins

Google search criteria: “how not to throw up after taking Double X vitamins”.

I shit you not. The searcher ended up here http://marriedtoanambot.blogspot.com/2011/05/double-x-double-knock-out.html

There were many reasons I didn’t like Double X. Too expensive being the main one. $70/month for vitamins? Holy fuck! I can buy $70 worth of fresh produce a month and eat something that’s good for me and fill me up so I’m not hungry. Popping a vitamin doesn’t give a person a feeling of fullness.

On Amway’s webpage it shows the current price of Double X of $80.80 for a 31 day supply.

I went to Walmart’s website and looked at Equate’s multivitamin in the 50 count bottle - one vitamin a day - for $2.84!!!!

Oh there’s a .97 cents shipping charge if you don’t buy enough other stuff at Walmart to reach their $45 minimum for free shipping.

I was also able to find other vitamins in 50 to 100 count bottles for under $10 on Walmart’s website.

Does anyone else see what’s wrong with the big picture here.

Amway = RIP OFF!!!!  RIP OFF!!!!!  RIP OFF!!!!!!!!

But anyway getting back to the searcher’s question. Can you imagine an ambot approaching their upline and saying “how do I stop throwing up after taking Double X vitamins?” I mean that is something you could not ask your upline without incurring their rage and wrath. The first thing the upline would do is accuse the ambot of doing something wrong because Amway is the whole blame the victim scam. If the vitamin ain’t going down the hatch right that’s because there is something wrong with the user. There never could be anything wrong with “Amway’s fine products”. Oh yuck! Fucking gross. Even just typing that and putting it in italics made me want to puke! But yes that is exactly the response we got from our upline when we talked about not liking a product or it not tasting good or whatever and we wanted to return it we got the old incredulous response of “Who would want to return these fine products?” Like in a tone of voice suggesting only a fucking moron would consider that. Then the old bullshit about how you lose your PV it comes off your account and likewise off the entire uplines accounts and people are gonna be PISSED!!!!

My previous post about Double X - oh and here I have to put in SEX again because of the multitude of searchers I get who have been brainwashed into believing Double X is good for sex - talked about the last day I took Double X after an unintentional dosage of painkillers and the two combined made me very ill and I did puke a couple of times. Several people who left comments also talked about side effects taking Double X.

Its just not worth it taking shitty overpriced useless vitamins if they’re gonna make you puke!!!!

Double X are a puke green color and they are two rather large foul tasting tablets. That’s a recipe for disaster when trying to swallow. Smaller things are easier to swallow. Soft foods are easier to swallow. Nice tasting things are easier to swallow. Honking big shitty tasting Double X Nutrilite vitamins are horrible to try to consume which leads to gagging, throwing up, etc, etc.

If something makes you puke logic dictates that that is something you don’t ever want to put in your mouth again and try to swallow.

So if an Amway IBO told their upline about digestive issues surrounding Double X all that would get them is being accused they are doing something wrong and then ridiculed that nobody else is having that problem. I would say there are lots of ambots having digestive problems with Double X and they’re too scared to bring it up with their upline for fear of their wrath and being mocked at the next Amway meeting.

Really you wanna torture yourself and take something that’s gonna make you puke? Try ipecac!

Sex Problems - Amway Products

I get dozens of searchers ending up at my blog after searching for “Amway sex” or “Amway sex products”. Or “Double X is good for sex”.

My latest searcher is having sex problems and thinks they’re related to Amway products. Or possibly looking for Amway products to solve the sex problems.

Let me break it down simply:

Sex problems?

Not getting laid?

You’re in Amway?

Mystery solved!

Amway = huge turn off.

Come on guys! You’re in Amway and you’re wondering why you’re not getting any? Couldn’t have anything to do with you bringing a bunch of shitty overpriced Amway products into the house could it?

If you have a woman in your life that you love you need to be always looking for more ways to love her, NOT looking for other things that you can love more than her.

The upline insists Amway must always come first. Tough shit if you’re celebrating something else in your life the same night an Amway meeting is on or if your upline holds an impromptu mandatory meeting.

Women like security. They like owning a house. They like real food in the house. They like having products in the house that they’ve purchased for a reasonable price and they actually use. They like money in the bank. They like having investments.

The Amway pyramid scheme offers no security. Own a house? The upline probably doesn’t and is jealous that you do. They will “counsel” you to sell your house, your security to a place to live where you’re not forced to live under someone else’s rules. Once you sell the house, or take out a line of equity against it if the upline was unsuccessful to convince the IBO to sell it, then you use that money to pay off the credit card debt you’ve been running up to buy Amway products and tools. Then you start over all again using the credit card to buy more Amway shit. In debt again soon enough but now without the security of owning a house. You will never have financial independence as long as you’re a renter or working for Amway. There is no money to buy real food once $300+ has been spent buying shitty overpriced Amway groceries with no nutritional value: Perfect Water, XS Energy Drinks, food bars, vitamins, etc. Overpriced cleaning products? Bullshit when there are better products for lower prices readily available in the marketplace. Investments? Not in Amway. Need to cash them in to buy more Amway shit. No money in the bank.

Women don’t like that. They hate to see Amway destroying their lives. They hate to see fucking Amway products in the house, the cause of the credit card debt and no money in the bank, and no extra money for investments. The emotional turmoil of dealing with the fucked up Amway cult leaders is sheer hell. Unable to convince their husband to get out of this evil Amway cult is frustrating and causes a lot of anger.

Women don’t want NOTHING to do with Amway. And that might get around to including their Amway brainwashed husband.

So if you need to search on the Internet to figure out why Amway isn’t the huge sex turn on you thought it would be, I can tell you why.

Putting a fucking company over the woman you love? BAD idea.

Amway IBO misses cruise ship?

So this Amway IBO is on a cruise and is pissing off everyone on the boat prospecting them. Try to enjoy your lobster and steak and some lousy ambot is sniping prospects in the grand dining room. The ship stops at this port and the ambot is hustling the locals trying to show them the Amway board plan instead of going sightseeing or shopping. He’s so busy begging the locals to sign up for Amway that he’s not watching the time. Oops cruise ship is supposed to leave at 4pm and its now 4:10. Well he has nothing to worry about. He’s an Amway IBO and that means he’s better than everyone else and has a sense of entitlement. The ship will wait for him because he’s in Amway.

Or will it?

Meanwhile up on the bridge the ship’s crew are watching this dumb ass ambot running down the dock. One of them begs the captain to pick him up and says “that’s my upline Platinum cult leader. If he doesn’t get on the ship he’ll destroy my marriage.”

The captain says “that lying sack of shit sold me Double X vitamins for 80 bucks and told me they were good for sex. They didn’t do piss all good. Fuck him. I ain’t turning this old tub around. He can find another way home!”

Amway Double X is Good For Sex?

OK! Who would do a search for “Amway Double X is good for sex”?

After I noticed someone ended up on my blog looking for answers to that all important question it gave me a good laugh and then I had to sit back and think what kind of person is hitting Google with that kind of search. This has gotta be some deprived man. I just can not see a woman doing that kind of search!

Because all women know the answer to that question - chocolate!

What the hell are the cult leaders teaching from the stage these days? WWDB - World Wide Destructive Bastards - were a bunch of prudes so sex never came up in any meetings I attended. Whether or not it came up when ambots counselled with upline, I’m going out on a limb here and saying yes. They were probably told no sex until they reached Platinum because it would distract them away from the task of sniping prospects to come to Amway board plan meetings and signing up new IBOs and finding customers to buy overpriced shitty products.

When you’re in Amway and hustling from one meeting to another and hustling people to join the scam there is no time for sex anyway so why would an ambot care if Double X is good for sex. It makes for a good nursery rhyme thats for sure!

Double X is good for NOTHING! It is an overpriced expensive piece of shit vitamin that costs Amway about $10 to produce including the packaging and they sell it to the brainwashed masses for just under $80 for a one month supply! Rip off! Rip off! Rip off!

I just checked Walmart’s website for a daily complete vitamin and Equate Mature costs $10 for a bottle of 220 pills.

OK people. Instead of gobbling vitamins how about just eating a sensible well balanced diet and you probably don’t need to take any supplements unless your doctor has done a blood test on you and notices your body is lacking in something and tells you to take it.

Come on man. Instead of doing a dumb ass search on the Internet about Double X good for sex just go to the grocery store and look for a magazine that has a cover story about the top 10 foods to boost your sex life and buy that instead. Cheaper to buy a magazine and some chocolate coated strawberries than Double X which ain’t good for sex!

Unless your problems are deeper than that. Keep an eye on your email’s inbox and turn off the spam filter. I know if I keep getting emails to enlarge body parts I don’t possess then everybody else must be getting them too! Cheaper than Double X and will probably give you the same results that Double X will give you for sex. Zippo! 

You ambots need to get a clue. If your significant other has cut you off it has something to do with them being pissed off that you are spending all your time with other Amway cult followers and spending all your money on overpriced shitty Amway products.

Your answer does not lie in buying Double X and hoping its good for sex.

In fact spending more money on useless Double X will likely be very bad for sex.

Instead of doing a search on Valentines Day about Double X being good for sex, the best thing you can do is quit the Amway cult. That will probably be better for sex than Double X!

And now that I’ve got all these wonderful keywords in this post I’m probably going to have this guy visit my blog again real soon! And reel in a few more sucker IBO’s with the same problem!

Don't Feed Your Dog ANYTHING from Amway!

“Can dog consume Double X”.

Yes, believe it or not some idiot did a search for that and ended up at my blog which is really high on the search engines for just about any criteria. In this case it brought the searcher to my post about the Nutrilite Dissolving Test where I talked about Nutrilite vitamins finally flushing when I used a bag of dog shit to coax out a hold out vitamin!

But that brings me back to the searcher's question about the dog consuming Double X. Why the hell would s/he want to do that? Double X has adverse reactions to some people who take them so why risk your dog’s health. I know people give their pets human vitamins for certain ailments like glucosamine or MSM for joint issues. If someone is so inclined to give their dogs something like that there are better quality vitamins in the marketplace that are much more reasonably priced than Amway’s shitty overpriced vitamins.

More than likely this searcher was told by their upline to sign their dog up as a customer and let them buy their own dog food or in this case Double X vitamins. Yeah like a dog has disposable income and is capable of making their own buying decisions! Not to mention typing on a computer! What else advice do you expect from people involved in a pyramid scheme and involved in fraud and encouraging others to fool around with a fake business. Sign up them phony customers!

Anyway I thought now would be a good time to share a post from last year about Amway’s shitty dog food. One of my readers had a different problem with their dog in that Amway’s Nutripet made it vomit and they had to rush it to an emergency vet.

Bottom line if anyone loves their dog do not feed it anything to do with Amway or you will be sorry.

I’m going to rant about the shitty Amway dog food. It costs approximately the same as any high end dog food out there. Whether or not it has the same high quality ingredients as other dog food companies I can’t say because I haven’t recently compared. I will say the one time we bought a bag of Amway’s brand dog food that I’ve never seen so much dog shit in my life! I’m the one who usually walks the dogs. I’m more into fitness than Ambot and I walk everywhere and those dogs give me an excuse to get out of the house every couple of hours. I take the dogs out for a walk first thing in the morning. I’ll usually get one shit out of each of them. After we switched them to Amway dog food the morning walk consisted of 4 to 6 shits! Luckily I stuff lots of baggies into my pockets! These dogs were easily shitting 10 times each by the last walk of the night and huge baggy filling ones at that! I'd get home and flush them one at a time and the next thing you'd know the toilet was clogged and the bowl nearly overflowing. The Amway dog food made me very proficient at using a toilet plunger! But I confess. If Ambot was home and the water was rising in the toilet, I'd turn the water off and start screaming that the big shits had plugged the toilet again and make him unclog it.

Ambot tried to put the Amway dog food onto his next order. I told him if he wanted to keep buying the shitty Amway dog food that he would now be taking over full time walking the dogs and cleaning up after them - a task he doesn’t like. I suggested he find someone in his upline to take over the clean up duty if they wanted us to buy Amway dog food. I got no takers. Imagine that!

I was able to put the dogs back onto the high quality, low stool dog food that they’ve enjoyed in the past.

This drastically reduced the money I was spending on baggies.

This also drastically reduced the number of clogged toilets.

Double X Double Knock Out

Seeing as how there has been a little talk about Double X recently I thought I’d recount a not so fond memory of taking this vitamin.

This was over 10 years ago the first time we were in Amway/WWDB. Our upline Platinum shrew was flogging buying the Amway vitamins like you wouldn’t believe to get the old PV up there so she could meet her goal. Ambot bought Double X and we were both taking them. I am not a morning person. I’m usually groggy and might forget what I’m doing. Takes me hours to get my act together. So I might not always remember to do things in the morning or forget if I’ve already done it or not. I think I’d been pretty good each morning at taking the Double X. I’d usually grab my 2 pills and go to the office and check my emails or do anything else I needed to do on the computer before going to work.

One morning I was on the computer and saw the 2 pills sitting beside the keyboard. Oops. Forgot to take them. I pop them in and leave for work.

The company I worked for was about a 20 minute drive from my house. Maybe 25 minutes if I hit all the red lights! I’m about halfway to work and I start to feel lightheaded. Its a cold morning but I roll down the windows anyway hoping that will help. I arrive at work and park in the lot about 200 feet from the front door of the building. I open the door and get out but I’m so dizzy I have to sit down again. Obviously something is not right here. I’d been feeling fine before taking the Double X but I didn’t make the connection at that point.

I slowly walk inside but I’m really unsteady and feeling ill. Fortunately I worked on the ground level. I shared an office with another woman whose shift started 30 minutes before mine. She is already there and talking to another co-worker. I sit at my desk but don’t say anything to them. Or maybe I said hi but didn’t join in the conversation because I’m feeling queasier by the second. By now I think I’m going to puke so I get up and go to the washroom.

This company had an exercise room on the ground floor. The washrooms here also had a shower. I go inside hoping it will be deserted. No such luck. A co-worker who I don’t know very well because she works on another floor had been working out prior to starting her day and is putting on her make up. I told her I didn’t want to gross her out but I was pretty sure I was going to throw up. I then sat down on the bench in the shower area and waited. Nothing happened. I got up and walked across the hall into the lunch room where there is a couch and laid down on it. Eventually the lady in the washroom comes over and asks if I’m OK. I said I didn’t know what was wrong but I felt nauseous.

After she left I ran back to the bathroom and was sick. I returned to the lunchroom and laid down on the couch. A couple of other co-workers came in for coffee and were concerned. I suppose when they went back to their desks they let the lady who I shared an office with know because a few minutes later the phone in the lunch room rang. I answered and sure enough it was my friend quite concerned and wanting to know if she could get me a ginger ale or anything. I said no but didn’t feel well enough to stay at work and didn’t think I could drive either so I was going to phone Ambot to pick me up. She phoned our supervisor to let her know I was ill and going home.

When Ambot arrived I was sick again. It was horrible. He drove me home and then he left for work a couple of hours later. I didn’t throw up again but I was in extreme stomach agony all day long and stayed in bed too weak to get up. When Ambot got home later that night he was on the computer and then I heard him call out and ask if I’d seen his painkillers he’d left beside the computer. He’d had a work related back injury and was taking the meds.

All of a sudden it clicks that I must have taken his medication and those weren’t Double X that I’d put down by the computer. Two of those meds were the max a guy his size could have taken. For a petite like me they were knock outs. I was pretty angry with him for leaving his meds out like that. Obviously I’d mistaken them for my Double X. Worse - what would have happened if the dog had eaten them.

There’s some medications you can’t take with vitamins because of adverse reactions. That might have been a combination of what knocked me out so hard and fast. Double X and painkillers.

I spent a day in agony because of the Double X mix up. I never took them again.