The Dude In The Suit

Amway ambots are told by the Amway cult leaders that they have to wear business suits for all Amway meetings and anytime they are meeting with prospects they’re hoping to recruit into the Amway pyramid scheme.

What ambots fail to realize that just because they throw on a business suit and carry a cell phone doesn’t make them real “business owners”. They are still pretend business owners.

If someone is already established within their friends, family, and coworkers as a casual dresser, seeing them in a suit outside of church is going to raise eyebrows and wonder about this sudden weird obsession playing dress up.

Years ago I remember hearing the phrase to dress for success. That might have been true in decades past. I remember going to the bank when I was younger and the men were wearing suits and the women wore business-like dresses. You go into a bank now and there might be some staffers wearing suits but the majority are dressed more casually.

Dressing casually puts your customers at ease. If you’re wearing jeans and a golf shirt and you walk into a place full of suits your first impression is boy am I in the wrong place and you want to get the hell out of there ASAP!

Years ago I worked for a company that occupied a 3 story building. About 100 employees. Takes awhile to get to know everyone, especially the people who work on other floors. I was dropping something off on another floor and I’m not sure what was happening, some kind of scuffle at the fax machine. There were about 5 or 6 different fax numbers going to different departments and I have a feeling that someone had faxed the wrong number and the man who needed the information was standing guard at the fax machine waiting for it and being snarly about it. One of the women returned to her desk muttering about the dude in the suit. I took a peak. Sure enough this guy looked like he was dressed for a funeral. Neither of us knew who he was. The dress code for our office was casual so he did look out of place. The only “suits” were the president and occasionally senior management staff depending on whether they were in meetings that day. Except for the dude in the black funeral suit. Right up until the last day I worked for that place I never saw Mr. Dude-in-the-suit dressed casually.

I knew someone who worked in the human resources department for a large corporation and their department was responsible for dress codes. The workplace was business casual and she said she had to keep up with the current fashion trends and make adjustments to their policy to stay modern and up to date. In this day and age women are not required to wear dresses in the workplace. If they do, pantyhose is optional. (not in Amway by the way!) Most companies I worked for were casual dress codes. They didn’t want us wearing torn clothing, T-shirts, baseball caps, and anything that would be more appropriate at the beach. Women can still look good in a dress shirt, capris or knee length shorts, and casual footwear. Many businesses have Friday as a jeans day. Maybe that works better in other climates. Many companies I worked for had jeans day every Friday or pay day Fridays but the problem is its so hot outside who wants to wear jeans. No thanks. Casual attire shorts or capris that I wore the rest of the week is a much better choice. Most business owners and managers have figured out that people who are comfortable with what they’re wearing are comfortable interacting with others and can be more productive in the workplace. Beats resenting the boss cause he’s making you wear a monkey suit!

What ambots fail to realize is that they’re behind the times and they do not keep up with current fashion trends the way real business owners do. Business suits worn ALL the time are a thing of the past in the workplace. Smart business people know they need to put others at ease. Dressing casually means a casual atmosphere and casual people are comfortable in their surroundings. A business suit in McDonalds or Dunkin’ Donuts sticks out like a sore thumb. And is a sure fire sign that the wearer of such a garment in one of those places is in an MLM. I saw a man in a business suit in Krispy Kreme a few weeks ago looking anxiously at the door wondering when the prospect he’d set up a meeting with was going to walk in. If the prospect was smart - never. I spotted that bastard as soon as I walked in and guessed he’s probably an ambot. Avoid eye contact at all costs!

Amway is way behind the times with its male chauvinist pig attitude, decades old dress code, using obsolete technology (Communikate), and unable to jump into the 21st century and keep up with current fashion trends. 

It is not necessary to wear business suits to BBQ’s, coffee shops, meetings in someone’s living room, or while sitting in the stands at an arena listening to Amway cult leaders spout off their bullshit. It is especially not necessary to wear heavy suits/dresses/pantyhose when the temperatures are skyrocketing. Wearing a business suit only impresses the Amway cult leader who ordered you to wear it to show your obedience to the asshole. Save the suits for church, funerals, job interviews, and other important events. There is nothing about Amway that is important enough to wear a suit!

Quit Amway and have the freedom to wear the clothes you want to wear. The same type of clothes that everyone else is wearing. No need to stick out like a geek anymore!

So yup, one more time I send a big old fuck you out to our Amway upline and their century old attitude.

Amway Ambot and the Shitmobile!

So it seems this Amway ambot sees a hot prospect in the form of a cute young lady. So he pretends to be interested in her like he wants to be her new boyfriend. He brags to her about how he's a business owner and tells her how much money he makes.

"Lets see your bank account statement." She asks him.

"Oh, no. That's private". He answers.

She has her doubts. Is this really a nice guy or is he a scam artist.

So he asks her out on a date. He says he's taking her to a BBQ and she should dress nice.

She's a little suspicious. Dress nice for a BBQ? Whats wrong with wearing shorts or jeans like normal people wear to BBQ's. Its not like its a formal event. But he tells her there are some people at this BBQ he wants to impress so she wears a nice dress.

He picks her up in this hunk of junk car.

"What's with the car? I thought you were a big time business owner making lots of money. Why are you driving a piece of shit like this."

"I'm investing my money back into my business. I'm buying my next car with cash so I have to save up."

Then she asks him why he's wearing a business suit and tie. I mean who dresses this guy. Too formal for a BBQ. He tells her this is how he always dresses because he dresses for success cause thats what his mentors told him to do and he explains that he is in a mentoring and leadership training type of business.

Even though she wonders what the fuck thats supposed to mean she gets in the car anyway. Then he confesses to her that they are really going to an Amway meeting and he's only pretending its a BBQ.

Now she's really pissed off. She's heard of that company. Words come to mind like pyramid scheme, scam, cult, overpriced products.

Could this day get any worse? But she kind of likes him so even though she's pissed she doesn't bitch too much about the Amway meeting. Fortunately for her she never gets there.

Watch this video to find out why.

Ha ha! Gotta have a good laugh going into the weekend!

The First Amway Salesman

Seeing Shitty Amway Products Everywhere?

There was a special announced at a spa I’ve never been to and I think that’s a good way to try out a new place. If the treatment is not what you’re expecting then you haven’t wasted too much money and you can stick with your regular spa.

The new spa offers the usual type of beauty treatments and is a one woman show, sole female proprietor. There are no other employees. Very nice, clean spa. Lovely lady. No complaints about the shop or the owner.

Yup a real business owner. Not some phony ass Amway “independent business owner”!

I’m sitting in the chair for my pedi and choosing the nail polish color. I don’t recognize any of the polish brands. Name doesn’t really matter much to me anyway. Color is more important than who makes it. I choose a cute color and wait for her to set things up and look around the room. On the far side are bookshelves with various lotions and beauty products. Nothing unusual there. Any hair salon or spa has similar products displayed.

And then I see it. On the top shelf. Two boxes with stripes. They look suspiciously like the puke yellow and green stripes on a box of nasty shitty Amway food bars. It even looks like the printing running sideways between the stripes is in the same spot where Nutrilite is spelled on the Amway shit bars. I’m too far away to read it but I’m really suspicious now and spend the whole pedi treatment glaring at those two boxes. It looks to me like the boxes on the shelves are bigger than the one the Amway shit bars come in. It also looks like a couple of lemons are on one box. Amway food bars are shitty enough without putting in sour lemon flavor. I decide its probably citrus scented lotion and comes in a box with similar stripe packing.

I keep looking around the room. The bottles of lotions from the facial are near enough to where I’m sitting that I can read the labels. They are definitely not Artistry. Just some standard beauty salon lotions. But I can’t help myself from going back and staring at those two boxes on the top of those shelves.

Pedicure is done and I move over to the station for the manicure. I am now closer to the bookshelves and those boxes and can read them. No doubt about it. Those are fucking Nutrilite food bar boxes!

All I can think the whole time I’m getting my mani is oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck I better not get an Amway pitch! And if I do get prospected I’ve got to get a response ready. And if I don’t get an Amway pitch I’m going to leave her an extra big tip for not harrassing me.

I sneak glances around the spa. I don’t see any Amway products or propaganda. The proprietor is a very nice woman, quiet not too chatty. Definitely not using FORM on me. I wonder if her husband has gotten involved in the Amway scam and she is too embarrassed to approach people but she wants to support her husband so she puts those 2 boxes of Nutrilite bars on the top shelf and hopes no one will notice them and ask her anything. Or perhaps she knows someone else who’s in Amway and that’s her way of getting them to shut up by sticking a couple of boxes way up there and hoping no one notices them.

My guess if she was really an Amway commissioned salesperson her upline would be riding her ass about using only Amway Artistry cosmetics, lotions, and nail polish in her spa and Amway shit would be all over the place. Any woman whether or not she runs a beauty salon knows when they look at the Amway catalogue and sees those fucking outrageously overpriced products that they can buy similar products for a quarter of the price Amway charges. You gotta watch the bottom line when you’re in business. Except when you’re in the Amway business where you’re expected to drop hundreds of dollars a month into shitty overpriced products. She had lots and lots of different colored nail polish. No way in hell does Amway offer that kind of color selection. She can probably buy 10 nail polishes for the same price as Amway charges for one.

I got the best facial I’ve ever had so I’m definitely going back there. I just hope the Amway pitch doesn’t come out after one has become a repeat customer!

Best Paying Jobs for Women? Not Amway!

Recently I read a Forbes article that talked about the best paying jobs for women. The list was rather bogus and sexist. Mostly it listed careers in what used to be predominantly male occupations like anthropologist, science, doctors, the type of jobs that one typically has a university degree and works their way up in the industry. These are good paying jobs for either men or women so no need to be sexist and say best paying jobs for women. The list was unrealistic for the majority of the population to obtain. I suppose it fills up space in the magazine. Fortunately Amway is not on the list! Big surprise! Go figure that one out!

One passage stuck out for me:

Jobs with the lowest satisfaction rates among women include food preparers and servers (median salary: $19,000), retail salespeople ($21,000), production workers ($30,000) and secretaries and administrative assistants ($31,000).

When I look back into the hell hole of the dark Amway days, the jobs held by the ambots I knew were food, warehouse, retail, and office or closely related jobs. Unskilled labor type jobs. Get your training while on the job. Easy come easy go jobs.

Not only are they low paying jobs but I agree there is little job satisfaction in those jobs. They are all fairly mindless jobs that once you get the routine down you can pretty much get the job done without thinking too much about it.

Its little wonder that Amway targets people in those industries to sign up to their pyramid scheme. People are stuck working a dead end job with little pay. Many low paid employees are on the lookout for something better. So when some rotten fucked up Amway IBO comes prospecting they can be easily hooked.

Workers in those food, retail, warehouse, or office are enticed by the material possessions of the upline and believe the lies about how much money can be made at the Amway scam. They are good prospects because they might have a little extra cash to buy Amway products and tools. Or because they’re working they are probably eligible for credit cards which they can go into debt investing in the Amway scam.

Once they get brainwashed enough they believe that jobs are bad and only losers have jobs. They are brainwashed to believe that people who are not involved in Amway are losers. This attitude carries on with them and one way or another they are probably not going to be holding their low paying, low satisfaction job a whole lot longer. But what do they care if they quit or get fired. There is a high turnover rate in food, retail, and clerical so they will probably find another low paying job pretty quickly.

Unless of course their upline tells them now is the perfect time to concentrate on their Amway business and “grow their business”. Then the job search will be stunted while they chase an elusive dream of being their own boss and that declaration alone means they will be financially independent forever.

I concluded many years ago that Amway will never ever be one of the best paying jobs for women. (Or men!)

Amway in Disguise

Someone did a search on Google for “Amway in Disguise” and ended up at my blog so I thought it would be a good topic.

Amway in disguise sounds like something full of intrigue the stuff that mystery and suspense novels are made out of.

It could also describe something that is so fucking disgusting that it must be hidden and disguised.

When we were in Amway and prospecting potential IBO recruits we had to do our damnedest to avoid saying the A word. Deny that it has anything to do with Amway. Instead promote it as a business opportunity where one can have full financial freedom in two to five years by working part time ten to fifteen hours a week and have residual income rolling in for the rest of your life. Hook them and get them to an Amway meeting. Get the prospect in front of an Amway cult leader and they’ll do the rest of the work and reel in the prospect for you.

Here are some of the lines that we had to use to snag unsuspecting recruits. If they seem familiar I’ve used them in other posts:

1. I know a really successful businessman who likes to help others start their own businesses. Would you like to meet him?
2. I was wondering if you could give me your opinion on a business I’m looking at. I really value your opinion and could use your input.
3. I’ve been spending time with some really sharp businessmen. One of them is giving a speech tomorrow night. Would you like to come and hear about the awesome business he’s involved in.
4. How would you like to be your own boss?
5. Have you ever thought about starting your own business?
6. Don’t you want to be free and not punch a time clock?
7. Are you tired of working a J.O.B. and making your boss rich?
8. Do you ever look at other ways of making money?
9. I’m in the process of expanding my business in the area and I’m looking for a few sharp guys who are interested in being financially free within the next two to five  years. Would you like to learn more.
10. I work with a team of multi-millionaires developing business online with over a thousand companies. We’re looking for ambitious guys who want to create a secondary source of residual income through a proven mentorship program.
11. Do you know anyone who might be interested in making a couple of thousand extra dollars a month working part time only 10 to 15 hours a week?
12. Don’t you want your wife to come home from work and be there for your children?
13. I know a really sharp businessman who has some great ideas. I can’t promise you anything but how would you like to meet him for coffee?

But then every now and then you prospect someone who asks “Is this Amway?” Gotta have some responses for that one!

1. No its not Amway. Its World Wide Dream Builders
2. We do sell Amway products but that’s only about 20% of what we sell. Everything else comes from over 2000 other companies most of which are Fortune 500 companies.
3. No its not Amway. We work with Benny the Bastard who owns Benny the Bastard Enterprises out of Miami. He owns his own consumer distribution company. Maybe you’ve heard of him?

Is it just me or does anyone else wonder why our Platinum brags about how 2000 companies can all be Fortune 500 companies???? Obviously math ain’t his strong suit!

So there you go. If anyone strikes up a conversation with you and brings up any of those lines it is Amway in disguise so tell them to fuck off.

Getting Revenge on an Ambot!

OK This is hilarious. Its on Youtube but its only audio no video. A hot prospect phones an ambot at 2 in the morning and wants to sign up. You might have to turn up the volume in order to catch the ambot’s responses. With the language this guy uses I’m sure everyone will think this is the man for me!

Ironically the ambot says he doesn't like to have conversations that early in the morning. Does this bad little ambot not go to night owls? Ah revenge for all the times those fucking ambots phone and text at all hours!

Amway IBO’s are Commissioned Salespeople

One of the biggest arguments that people being prospected by an Amway IBO come up with are that they are not salespeople and are not interested in being a salesperson. The brainwashed IBO fights back with the response that Amway is not about selling: register, set up a store, buy from your own store, convince family and friends to shop at your Amway store, and sign up others to join Amway and teach them to do what you do.

Yeah almost anything looks possible on paper but the reality of trying to get it off the ground is another story.

Ambots argue they Amway is not a pyramid scheme because they have actual products for sale. Overpriced, substandard products, but nevertheless an actual product for sale.

Amway’s own sales figures show that less than 4% of their sales are to people who are not registered IBO’s so the other 96% are IBO’s who are self consuming their own products or inventory loading. When the IBO’s are not self consuming their own products or inventory loading they are on a rabid quest to recruit others to do the same thing.

Self consuming, inventory loading, recruiting new cult followers. Pyramid scheme!

I argued with Ambot that I am not a salesperson therefore Amway is not a good business choice for us. I don’t have a sales type personality like many people who are not comfortable approaching a stranger and striking up a conversation and hope to sell them a house, a car, or a pair of shoes. Our upline told us we didn’t have to be good salespeople to make our riches in Amway. That was one of many lies told to us. Amway “independent business owners” are really commissioned salespeople and to some extent everyone has to sell either the Amway business module or Amway products.

Or those who can’t do either self consume and inventory load Amway products so they can get the PV and into a higher bonus bracket for paltry commission checks from Amway.

Ambot had been brainwashed by his upline to believe he didn’t have to sell Amway products to make it big in the business which is what he tried to convince me. What!? What do all those fucking board plans say? You make your money in Amway buying their products and recruiting other people who will also buy Amway products. You have to be good at selling Amway products and good at selling the business opportunity to convince someone else to pay $150 to sign up and spend $300 month buying Amway products to consume. In other words be good at selling hope and dreams. You have to also be good at motivating any downline you sign up not to quit and to keep buying Amway products and investing in the tool scam.

Seeing as how I’m  not good at selling I was unable to sell Ambot on the truth that he was really a commissioned salesperson in a futile business venture. Nobody wants to buy Amway’s shitty overpriced products and no one wants to join the Amway cult. That has nothing to do with his sales ability. Its just that he’s chosen a lousy product to believe in and a lot of people in the states are already aware of the Amway scam.

Amway’s shitty reputation for overpriced substandard products and cult similarities makes it really hard to sell others on this poor business opportunity no matter how good a salesperson you are.

How 2 Broke Girls Get Even Broker the Amway Way

Has everyone seen the previews of a new series coming to CBS September 19 2011 called 2 Broke Girls.

http://www.cbs.com/shows/2_broke_girls/

The premise is two girls in their twenties who are roommates and work as waitresses. They’re trying to raise a couple of hundred thousand dollars so they can open a cupcake store but in the meantime they are barely scraping by.

Gee don’t they just sound like prime targets for some crazed ambot?

You know the bullshit lines those IBO’s use on people like what do you do for a living and if its some minimum wage type job then the ambot jumps all over them.

Wouldn’t you like to be making an extra $2000/month working part time from home?

Sure, who wouldn’t?

What about your dreams?

Owning a cupcake bakery.

How much money will that take.

A couple of hundred thousand.

Hey how would you like to be making a couple of hundred thousand dollars a year working part time from home.

That’s how it always starts.

Then when the IBO digs deeper and finds they’re barely scraping by, their eyes light up and they rub their hands together in glee. Got a prospect!

The problem is if those 2 broke girls sign up with Amway if they thought they were broke now they don’t know the meaning of the word broke! Spend at least $300/month to meet the minimum PV requirement to get a bonus check of around $10. Then there’s Premier Membership to WWDB for $50/month, Communikate for $40/month, books and CDs at least $100/month, and $10 for every Amway meeting attended in the month. If its a major function cost of ticket, food, travel, and hotel, at least $1000.

After a few months the 2 broke girls have thrown at least $5000 each at the Amway scheme and are way deep in the hole. They had a couple of friends buy Amway products at the beginning but their friends don’t want to buy from them anymore because they can buy similar products at Walmart that are better quality and cost less money. As hard as they prospect every customer that walks in the door of the restaurant they can’t convince anyone to come to an Amway meeting. They’ve even tried all the tricks upline suggested inviting prospects to a tea party, movie night, or beer bust disguised as an Amway event.

The 2 broke girls find themselves getting broker and broker by the second thanks to the Amway scheme.

They decide to quit.

Their upline rides their asses.

“You can’t quit now. Not when success is right around the corner.”

“Only losers aren’t in Amway.”

“I guess your dream of owning a cupcake store just wasn’t big enough.”

“Think of all those poor homeless little cupcakes that are going to die because you don’t open up a store and sell them.”

The 2 broke girls tell their upline to fuck off and die.

To celebrate getting the Amway albatross off their necks they stop at a 7-11 on the way home and buy a lottery ticket. They win half a million dollars and are able to open their cupcake shop anyway. Unfortunately it becomes a hang out for ambots to hold meetings at and they pester the cupcake clients. The 2 formerly broke girls file a complaint with Amway’s head office who don’t give a shit and do nothing.

Well if you can’t beat them join them. The 2 formerly broke girls start to offer ambots free chocolate cupcakes and that really packs their restaurant when word gets out.

Specially made for Amway IBO’s they’re loaded with ex-lax.

Ironically out of service signs always are posted on the cupcake store’s restrooms whenever ambots are in there.

And they said Amway doesn’t give a shit!

The Craigslist Ambot

One night somebody in our upline - or perhaps crossline I was never quite sure where he fit into the equation but he was at every meeting I attended - brought a guest with him to an Amway meeting. A young lady who didn’t look quite right. As is par for the course whenever someone manages to drag a prospect to a meeting all the IBO’s in the room welcomed her with loving arms and showered her with phoney attention and interest. After a few minutes of talking to her you could figure out she wasn’t all there. Something not quite right in her head. Perhaps a high functioning autistic? She could carry on a reasonably decent conversation but after spending a few minutes with her you’d see something wasn’t quite right. Due to her disability she was unable to drive and so the IBO who was prospecting her was driving her to and from the meeting.

She sat down beside me and I asked how she’d met the ambot. She told me she had posted an ad on Craigslist looking for friends and good conversation and he’d responded.

That stunned me because you never know what kind of weirdos you’ll attract doing that. I’m aware that Craigslist has a personal section but I thought it was mostly for people looking to hook up. Well maybe she was trying to do that too I don’t know.

But I get the picture. The ambot who’d brought her to the meeting was trolling Craigslist ads looking for women with no other motive other than to get them to an Amway meeting. Well maybe he was trying to get them into bed too! I think this young lady enjoyed the companionship of a room full of people happy to shower her with fake love. The price to pay? Listening to the bullshit from the Platinum for 3 hours.

Did she ever join up with Amway? Not that I know of. I saw her at 3 meetings I think and oddly enough I saw her at Free Enterprise Days. I was walking through the lobby undoubtedly on my way out of there to find a Starbucks or Burger King for some nourishment and I spotted her wandering around by herself. Fortunately she didn’t spot me and I was able to make a clean getaway! That was the last time I ever saw her. Obviously her potential sponsor had given her a ride to FED, paid for her ticket, and then ditched her once inside the arena. I knew if I stopped and talked to her curiosity would get the better of me and I’d ask about the sleeping arrangements. Some things its just better you don’t know. None of my business anyway.

The real sad thing is the ambot who’d stalked her on Craigslist lost interest in her real fast after he met her and realized she wasn’t fully functioning. By the second or third meeting he’d driven her to he didn’t want the burden of responsibility for her anymore and was checking the room to see if anyone else could give her a ride. Yeah just the type of really nice guy you want in your life. Asshole! But what else do you expect from a self absorbed ambot? The reality was this young lady was just looking for people to hang out with for a few hours and she didn’t have the mental or financial capacity to buy into the Amway scheme. The IBO figured that out fast enough that his plan didn’t work and tried to ditch her but she kept showing interest in going to Amway meetings to be around people. So desperate to spend time with someone, anyone she’ll go to an Amway meeting! Shit!

I don’t know about posting personal ads on Craigslist. The first thing that comes to my mind is the Craigslist Killer. The second thing that now comes to my mind thanks to the young lady’s experience is the possibility of getting prospected by some Amway IBO thinking this is a cool way to pick up recruits.

But where will it end on Craigslist? Perhaps ambots are trolling every category and calling people who’ve put phone numbers on their ad. Can you imagine if your cat didn’t come home and you placed an ad on Craigslist and some ambot phones you to say he spotted your ad and you get all excited thinking he’s found your missing cat only to find out he’s prospecting you to join up with Amway. Or you place an ad looking for a boyfriend with similar interests only to get a response by some ambot pervert. Or people looking for a job and post an ad on Craigslist with their resume and qualifications and someone calls and says they’d like to hire you and set up an interview. You get all excited about landing an interview and go to the meeting which is oddly enough being held at Dunkin’ Donuts only to find its a scam and an Amway IBO wants to show you the board plan.

Craigslist does put up a warning about affiliate scammers who prey on people posting on their classifieds but people can get all the warnings and red flags waved under their nose and they still might not realize they’re being set up by a scammer.

Get a clue you lousy ambots! People put up legitimate ads on Craigslist and they hope for legitimate, helpful responses. They don’t want to be recruited into Amway! You’re just contributing to Amway’s bad image by pulling shit like this.

It just seems creepy to me that Amway IBO’s are stalking people on Craigslist. I bet some kingpin has a CD out there on how to troll for prospects on Craigslist.

Why Get Involved in Amway More Than Once?

A question I’ve often asked myself is how did Ambot get involved with a shitty organization like Amway?

The next question I ask myself is how did Ambot get involved with a shitty organization like Amway twice?

Ambot is hardly alone. There are stories on the Internet where former IBO’s have tried Amway multiple times. I don’t know what the record holder is for the person who has tried and quit Amway over and over. The term we heard during round 2 of WWDB Amway hell for multiple attempts at being an Amway IBO was “retread”. Just some dumb ass Amway slang comparing IBO’s on round 2 or 3 or 4 or 5 to car tires that have had some work done on their rubber. Wikipedia says some tires can be retreaded up to 10 times. What about IBO’s? Are there some people out there who are dumb enough to sign up and quit Amway 10 times? I hate to think such a possibility exists but it wouldn’t surprise me. That would be the person with the scarlet G on their forehead - gullible.

On the other hand I think its very likely that an IBO is recruited on all the hype, pays the Amway membership, and then does nothing. A year or two goes by and he gets prospected by another Amway IBO, gets all excited again about the perceived business opportunity, buys another Amway membership, and does nothing. That might repeat itself a few times. Its possible.

I wonder if IBO’s believe that if they stick it out in Amway for two to five years buying Amway products and buying Amway tools and attending functions that their reward will be money rolling in from Amway for the rest of their lives even if they have no customers and no downline. Our Platinum told us at the board plan meetings that we were winners just by showing up. Is the message that nothing else is required other than simply showing up and having your attendance recorded? In return IBO’s live off the hope that Amway rewards all winners who show up with lots of money rolling in forever?

The first time Ambot got in was probably for 2 reasons. The son of the Platinums who signed us up was a business colleague and Ambot thought the Amway business opportunity looked good though maybe he should have asked himself if it was such a good opportunity why wasn't the son an IBO. Find 6 people who can find 6 people and so on and so on. I told him the numbers looked good on paper but what was the reality of pulling it off? Could we actually find 6 people who would religiously buy $300 worth of Amway goods each month and could they in turn find 6 people and so on? I didn’t think so. Ambot got caught up in the hype and excitement. He went to Family Reunion and got fired up and motivated and all the other bullshit that goes along with it. I joined him to Free Enterprise Days and I wasn’t impressed. All those Diamonds parading across the stage had pretty much the same story. They’d been working minimum level jobs, a dear friend showed them the plan, Amway saved their lives and they roll in dough now. They’re some of the biggest bullshitters around, most of them had annoying voices, and they were boring as hell.

After a few months Ambot finally figured out this Amway business opportunity was bullshit. We were spending money, not making money, and no one we knew were interested in buying overpriced Amway products and we couldn’t convince anyone to come to meetings or sign up with Amway.

OK over and done with. We lost some money. Bad experience. Move on with life.

Which we did for several years.

Anyone who’s been following my blog knows I write about the second time we were in Amway and WWDB and the assholes in our upline. I’ll try not to rehash about how our sponsor is someone I’ve despised for many years. I don’t know how he thought sponsoring us in Amway when I had no interest in getting involved in the Amway scam again would improve my opinion of him.

So let me just stop for a minute and say fuck you to that arrogant prick!

Captain Fuck Up sneaks around behind my back and introduces Ambot to the pompous sack of shit Platinum. A very charismatic person. Strong personality. A good people person. An excellent cult leader. He convinces Ambot that his group is much better than the last group he was in. Um, it was World Wide Dream Builders the last time and aren’t you with WWDB too? He promises better leadership and mentorship, the things that Ambot was lacking the last time. He is a very convincing liar. Scary. Frightening. If Hitler, Charles Manson, and Rev Jim Jones could be rolled into one person, the sack of shit is him. Someone to be both worshipped and feared by his cult followers. Terrifying!

Ambot actually likes the sack of shit. He wants to impress him. He wants to spend time with him. The only way he can accomplish this is to sign up with Amway and spend lots of money on the scam because the sack of shit won’t be friends with anyone who doesn’t give him money. I tried to convince Ambot that nothing had changed in Amway including the business plan. We still had to buy lot of Amway products every month. They were still overpriced. The products weren’t as good as name brand or generic brands we can buy at Walmart for much cheaper. We still had to find 6 people who had to find 6 people to find 6 people to find 6 people, ad nauseum over and over....

Our friends base hasn’t changed all that much in the past 10 years. So who is Ambot going to prospect to become an IBO? The same people. They’re still not interested. Who is he going to chase down to buy shitty overpriced Amway products? The same people. They’re still not interested.

Nothing is different this time except the lies told by our upline.

As I see it some people can sign up for Amway and then quit again (and again and again and again) because they meet different people who are very likeable people and lie about how things are different now in Amway than they were the last time the IBO was in. They lie about how their LOS group is better than the last one they were in: better training, better leadership, better counselling, better mentorship, better people, etc. They offer friendship. They promise the moon. They promise your dreams will come true. These professional liars do whatever it takes to convince anyone to sign up with Amway. Ex-IBO’s at one time believed that Amway was going to be their path to financial freedom. The better the upline are at lying the easier picking the ex-IBO for round 2. Round 3. Round 4......

How to Qualify an Amway Prospect

What are the criteria for qualifying someone to become an Amway IBO? Does anyone really know?

You would think qualifying an Amway prospect would be similar to going to a job interview. Someone looking to hire an employee wants to bring in the right person. Sometimes the person has to be experienced other times enthusiasm and the right personality may be what a hiring manager is looking for. They don’t want to bring the wrong person into the company. Some people have difficulty learning new things and that can slow down other employees. Sometimes people just don’t have the aptitude to do a job no matter how badly they wish they could succeed. Hiring an unlikeable person can lower moral.

Logic would dictate that should hold true in Amway but reality shows differently. The reality is IBOs are so desparate they'll take anyone who shows a teensy bit of interest.

Many times I heard at meetings to “qualify your prospect” before bringing them to a board plan meeting but the speakers dropped the ball and didn’t say what qualifying a prospect entailed.

So I’m here to tackle that question based on my observations of being stuck hanging around and listening to these bastards.

1. Be a good liar.

2. Be a good salesperson - or have the aptitude and desire to become one.

3. Open to being brainwashed.

4. Be willing to put Amway as the most important thing in your life.

5. Be good at sucking up - your upline expects you to worship them as gods

6. Have disposable income

7. Have a credit card with a high limit

8. Desire to stay up late at night listening to meaningless bullshit from cult leaders

9. Willing to drop everything if upline calls and demands to have their ass kissed.

10. Able to devote 100 hours a month to Amway related events

11. A strong desire to fail (less than 1% of IBO’s make money)

12. Be a home owner so you can sell the house and use the equity to invest in Amway

13. Enjoy listening to CDs with cult leaders spouting off dribble and bullshit

14. Enjoy hugging everyone you meet.

15. Ability to fake being all sweetie pie nice

16. Enjoy looking out of place wearing business suits

17. Enjoy stalking people in malls

If people don’t possess the above qualities or have the desire to learn to do so, they will never become part of the 1% who make money as an Amway IBO.

Using Your Dreams Against You

When recruits are being prospected by IBO’s they are asked about their dreams.

Often that is met by silence. Most people don’t know how to respond to “what are your dreams” because its kind of private only to be shared with people you’re close to.

A person might not know exactly what the IBO is asking or be a little confused about the direction of the question. Or they might not have thought about putting their dreams out there for other people to know about.

A good answer might be “none of your fucking business”. Especially if you suspect its an Amway IBO!

If the prospect says they don’t know or haven’t thought about it the scumbucket IBO will try another tactic.

“Imagine you won the Powerball. What would you do with all that money?”

A windfall of money drops in your lap. Millions of dollars to spend. What do you buy?

Be very careful with that answer because if you sign up with Amway your upline will use that answer against you for as long as you remain in “the business” and taunt you and torment you and dangle that elusive dream over your head.

There is a charitable organization that is close to our hearts. Doesn’t matter which one. Most people have a cause that they support and I’m not identifying ours because of the hits my blog gets for Amway searches and I don’t have the charity’s permission to associate them with a pyramid scheme. So when asked about his dream Ambot made the bad decision to tell the upline he’d like to build or buy a hospice for dying patients or a home where family members can stay near to the hospital where their loved one is being treated. A dream like that would take a good chunk of money to build and operate.

Bad Ambot! Badddddd mistake telling the fucking upline about his dream to have a home where dying patients and/or their families could stay. Then he was ferociously tortured by his upline because he was unable to find any prospects to bring to meetings, sign up any downline, or get customers. The upline held it over his head taunting him about how all these people were going to die and it was going to be all his fault because he wasn’t working hard enough to build them a place to live.

Bunch of sick bastards accusing Ambot that he’s responsible for people dying because he’s not working the Amway business hard enough.

That’s part of the Amway cult. That’s part of the brainwashing process.

Don’t let what happened to Ambot happen to you. Whatever your dreams are keep them to yourself and NEVER EVER share them with someone involved in Amway. If you let anyone involved in Amway know what your dreams are you will be tortured and tormented and ridiculed and made to feel like shit.

“I guess your dream just wasn’t big enough” was the familiar quote from the fucking upline because they’d been given the ammunition to use Ambot’s dreams against him.

So one more time I send a big fuck you out to our sponsor and our Platinum and any other IBO’s who tormented us during the Amway penance.

New Year's Goals

A couple of days into January Ambot tells me our sponsor has summoned us to a very important meeting to go over our Amway goals for the new year.

Uh, is now a good time to say my new year's goal is we get out of Amway before we lose any more money?

So the first thing the arrogant prick does to piss me off is choose a restaurant I don't like. S L O W service and not a whole lot of choices on the menu that I like. What's wrong with going to Krispy Kreme, I ask Ambot. The booths are more comfortable and it won't cost as much money. And I can drown my sorrows in a chocolate cream filled donut while putting up with the asshole. And if I'm really lucky the featured donut will be something I like and I'll have a couple of them too.

But no luck. The arrogant prick wants to go to that restaurant and because he's our upline and according to Ambot that makes him some kind of a god, that's where we're going for our very important meeting.

I don't remember much what was discussed that night but I do remember the arrogant prick asked us what goals we'd set for PV that year.

Ah ha! NOW is my chance to save money. I know Ambot is still going to buy Amway shit so if I can put in a lowball goal hopefully he'll stick to it. Yeah I wish! So I say 5 PV a week is our goal. Well, you can't blame me for trying! Ambot is still going to do whatever the hell he wants and rack up the credit card bill with as much purchases and PV as he can no matter what I say.

Later on Ambot tells me after I set a 5PV a week goal that the arrogant prick was ready to get up and leave the restaurant.

So what else is new? That fucking asshole has many years history of stomping off in a snit and then Ambot doesn't hear from him for months. So what's so unusual about the fucker getting mad at my 5 PV/week goal and threatening to storm out of the restaurant?

So go! Good riddance you troublemaking son of a bitch! I hope the door hits you in the ass on the way out!

Unfortunately for me that scenario didn't play out but I can always dream can't I? After all that's what this business is all about - dreams.

My dream is for Ambot to quit wasting his time and money on the Amway cult.

Although my 5 PV/week goal did not come true, much more importantly my first choice new year's goal did! That would be the one about getting out of Amway. Unfortunately not before Ambot dropped a few thousand more dollars into the cult's coffers over the next couple of months but we made our break.