Sunday, August 7, 2011

People Springing Amway on them at Dinner

I had a searcher come to my blog after googling “people springing Amway on them at dinner”.

Man that has got to suck!

So I imagined up a scenario about this nasty dinner surprise.

You’re at home one day and friends give you a call and invite you to dinner. You have no reason to suspect anything other than what it is a fun evening get together. Spending a few hours visiting friends, enjoying a meal and their company and afterwards maybe watch a movie, go for a walk, or do some other activity.

You arrive at your friend’s house. Things seem a little different than the last time you were there but you can’t just quite put your finger on it. There are pictures cut out of magazines that are stuck to the fridge: sports cars, the late Aaron Spelling’s mansion, the Eiffel Tower, a cruise ship. Seems a little weird but whatever. There are little yellow sticky notes posted around the house with messages handwritten on them: dream, grow your business, become a millionaire in 2 to 5, jobs are for losers. Weirder and weirder. You go in to the bathroom to wash up for dinner and there’s a small soap dispenser called Body Series. You’ve never heard of the brand but soap is soap. You squirt some out on your hands and its a nasty yellow brown color that stinks. Yuck. But oh well. You wash your hands and dry them on a towel on the counter. Damned towel has fluffies that are coming off all over the place mostly on your wet hands. You stick your hands under the cold water to wash the fluffies off and wipe your hands off on your pants this time.

The host invites everyone to sit down at the dinner table and asks what you want to drink. Choices are water or energy drink. What the hell? Every time you get together with this couple the choices are usually wine or beer. You decide on water and the host produces a product called Perfect Water. He tells you about the health benefits of this miracle water: it cures blindness, it cures cancer, quadriplegics can walk again after drinking it. Host blabs about the powerfullness of this water stems from the fact that its been oxygenated 14 times. Seems bizarre. Surely once would suffice. You take a sip. Tastes like any water that might come out of the tap. Not bad but nothing exceptional about it either no matter how wonderful the host thinks it is.

And speaking of the host what has happened to your friends? They are being overly nice and polite tonight. She’s wearing a dress and he’s wearing a business suit. Uh what happened to a casual night out? They didn’t need to dress up on your account.

The hostess brings the dinner out of the kitchen. She’s a great cook and you wonder what it is tonight. Chicken and roast beef are her specialities served with little baby carrots on the side, asparagus, new potatoes, and cornbread  She’s carrying a serving bowl. Inside is ---- macaroni and cheese? Hunh? Not even the nice homemade kind like mom used to make in the casserole with cheese she’d freshly grated and bread crumbs on top. This just looks like the nasty quick dinners that come out of a box with the cheese powder.

You take a bite and it tastes like shit. The macaroni is bland and the cheese powder mix has a sickly sweet taste to it that does not resemble cheese at all. Nasty! You force some in all the while wondering where the cornbread is. Or any bread. Anything to help push this meal down the throat. You wonder what went wrong with your friends because this is so unlike them. Perhaps they were running late tonight and they stopped quickly at the bargain basement shop and bought some of those ten cent boxes of expired macaroni and cheese. Gross! Definitely have to stop at McDonald’s on the way home for a burger because you’re refusing seconds and you’re famished. You count the minutes until you can politely leave all the while thinking your buddies are just having a bad day.

Hmm, maybe you can make up for it at dessert time. The hostess makes a delicious red velvet cake. Unfortunately that’s not what’s up for dessert tonight. She brings out a platter with four individually wrapped bars on it - one for each of you. Granola bars perhaps picked up at the bargain shack? Nope. The package says Nutrilite chocolate protein bars. Whatever. You’re famished after that nasty macaroni and cheese. You can eat anything chocolate. You rip the wrapper off and take a bite. Oh fuck! Nasty! The host is beaming at you and asks how you like it. You tell him. “Tastes like shit.” Oops he doesn’t look too thrilled at that review. “No seriously,” you tell him. “Don’t buy this one again its fucking gross.” You finish off the rest of the Perfect Water washing down that shitty food bar and trying to get the nasty taste out of your mouth.

Normally now is the time when you’d head into the rec room and watch a DVD but instead you want to leave and go out for junk food. The hosts aren’t making any move to get up from the table even though they’ve cleared the dinner plates away. The host tells you they’ve started their own business, Internet sales, and announces that everything you ate for dinner tonight can be purchased through their online store. Moreover the soap and towels you used in the bathroom can also be purchased through their online store.

All you can think is holy shit you’re going out of business real soon with shitty products like that! Instead you nod politely and wish them luck. They’ll need it!

But the host ain’t done. He says he’s looking to add a few sharp people to his leadership team and he whips out a brochure. You glance at it and realize  you’ve seen this business plan before when you got tricked into going to a BBQ that was really an Amway event in disguise. “Hey that’s Amway!” The host covers his surprise. “No we’re World Wide Dream Builders but we do use Amway to move our products for us.”

You’re still suspicious but decide to play along. “Well I’m glad you’re not with Amway because its a pyramid scheme and you’re going to lose a lot of money.”

“You’re wrong,” says the host. “We’re going to retire in the next two to five years and have residual income rolling in for the rest of our lives. We’re going to be rich by working part time ten to fifteen hours a week in our spare time.”

“Well good luck with that,” you tell them again.

But the little devil is persistent and tries to show the plan again. “All you need to do is eat one food bar and drink one beverage each day and find 6 people who can do the same. Its easy.”

“If its so easy everyone would be doing it,” you point out. The host tries again to get you to look at his plan yapping about PV and BV and once again you tell him you’re not interested. He looks pissed. “You don’t want to be a loser working a job for the rest of your life do you? Don’t you want to get your wife free from her job so she never has a boss again?”

“Not interested in a pyramid scheme,” you tell him again while he argues that its not a scheme and some bullshit about a 1979 FTC ruling that you don’t care about it.

“Oh look at the time. We’ve got to leave.” You hustle out and go to McDonald’s for a better meal.

You try to invite your friends over for dinner a couple of weeks later but they turn you down. “Sorry we don’t associate with people who aren’t in Amway.”

And you don’t hear from your friends ever again.

The end.


  1. I had a childhood friend tell me Im going to a concert. When i arrived it was one of those christian crusades or whatever in a stadium. Some people just have no problem tricking others into doing something and see nothing wrong with it.

  2. i wonder how often do people walk out of these amway dinners? If the dinner was decent like a tbone steak etc id stay.

  3. Colin - usually when IBO's host a grand opening or coffee party or BBQ all the eats are supposed to be what can be purchased from Amway. I say its pretty hard to BBQ anything Amway sales through the Internet. Usually these events are held to spring the Amway business surprise on the unsuspecting guests.

  4. My husband had a female coworker who asked him if he'd be interested in a side business with her husband involving web development. My husband being the techie he is, agreed for us to meet her and her husband at a coffee shop. To our surprise, he pulled out the plan and we were ticked! We should have just gotten up and walked away, but to be polite, we heard them out and politely declined. Their fake niceness quickly went out the window. The next day at work, my husband asked his coworker why she lied to him. She had no good answers. No one has prospected us since then. My family members are currently suffering the financial damage that Amway has brought upon them, so if anyone were to try and prospect us, I'd probably go off the deep end on them!


  5. FM - you need to read my post about 101 ways you can piss off an IBO and use one of those lines!

    One of the lines that Amway IBO's use is about web development. Also owning an online store as a side business and it only costs you $50/month. A warning sign is meeting at a coffee shop. Why do IBOs always want to go for coffee? Need the caffeine to keep them going through that evening's night owl?

    You were too nice sticking around to hear the presentation. I'd have pointed out that's Scamway and everything that's wrong with the business and asked if she'd seen the small print where .00065% actually reach a level of $54,000 gross annual income or whatever the current numbers are. Less than 1% chance of success. Most people looking to start a business are looking for something with higher odds of success than that.

    She lied to him because that's what IBO's do. They lie. How else are they going to con someone to get involved in a pyramid scheme?

  6. When I was in college, I was invited to a beer bust. Imagine my horror when they started the Amway presentation meeting.

  7. Imagine my horror when Ambot wanted me to accompany him to Amway meetings and started driving up the credit card debt!

  8. Wish me luck. We have friends whose son has gotten involved in Amway (I've mentioned them before) and we are going to a dinner they've invited us to where two other families will be there, as well. We know the other families, and at least one of them I know for sure has nothing to do with Amway. The other one, I'm not sure about. The daughter of that one got tricked into sitting through a presentation, but I don't know if she got drawn to the dark side or not. That was the same presentation my wife went to (my son was the target but she went in his place and pissed off the upline doing the talk by asking lots of detailed questions. They don't like that). It might be a BBQ, I don't know. But as the old saying goes, to be forewarned is to be forearmed. I've made sure to pass along to my wife and sons all the tactics and truth about Amway so their bullshit radars are ready should any kind of talk of them having a great business which they are looking for sharp people or start asking about what our dreams are (I'll say "well, I have this dream where I'm in school taking a test and suddenly I realize I'm naked"). They are good, sweet people, but my wife and I have already discussed it and if it turns into a captive audience presentation, we will get up and leave. Amway tells their IBOs to target friends and family because they bank on them not wanting to hurt the IBO's feelings. But our attitude is, if they don't back off the Amway shit, then them inviting us in the first place had nothing to do with friendship.
    And they are great cooks, too. What a huge disappointment if it turns into an Amway Inedible Shit Dinner.
    They set it up with my wife, so I don't remember the day it will be. But I'll let you know if Amway rears it's ugly, scaly head at any point in the evening.

  9. Dave - instead of asking about your dreams they might ask you to imagine you just won the Powerball and what would you spend your money on.

    Their son may have signed up his parents as IBO's because he needed a downline.

    Hopefully it will be nothing more than a nice evening out having BBQ with friends!

  10. Glad you enjoyed it Gustav! You don't know IBOFB do you? You're both from the same place!

  11. Hi Anna.
    Well, we went to the dinner as I stated above. It was actually very nice overall. No charts with circles being drawn on it. lol
    We were all eating in their backyard. Great food, and none of it Amway (well, as far as I know).
    after dinner I noticed the host putting little clear packets out on the tables as all us guests were chatting, and it had this red liquid in it. I picked one up and looked at the label.
    "Here we go", I thought. I pretended to ignore it (as did most of the guests) but one dad inquired with the host about it and, though I couldn't hear their conversation, he pulled out a Nutrilite catalog and gave it to him and they talked as he was thumbing through the pages. That dad will be helping me this coming Thursday for a band camp BBQ and I will have a chance to quiz him about what was said and, if he is unaware, tell him a little about good ol' Amway.
    Then the host came out with a box and started passing out bags of chips. Some "Smart Menu" brand. I looked at the back and read that it was distributed by "Access Business Group". When I went into their restroom, there were the Amway products I recognized. Glister toothpaste. Some kind of acne treatment cream (I forget the name). Of course, when I looked on the back of those... "Distributed by Access Business Group". I guess they don't just come out and say "Amway" anymore, do they?
    But other than that, they didn't "push" anything. No sales pitch. Well, other than when one guest asked the host about the chips he had her try a few and said they were baked and healthy. I think a few of the appetizers might have been Amway products (some kind of "Stacy's" chips that I've never heard of) and dips, but I didn't partake of those, so I didn't read the labels to know for sure.
    We are home right now, though my eldest son is still there playing video games with their son (he drove there separately). I'm a "wee bit" nervous, as he basically in one on one now with the ambot, but I've given him the whole run down on Amway and the tricks they use to reel you in, so I think he's smart enough to rebuff any attempts. I guess you have to allow your kids to fend for themselves at some point in life. Though you can be sure I plan to talk to him when he gets home. ;)
    Anyway, I thought I'd just share that with you. It wasn't an all-out assault, and they really are sweet and generous people, so it wasn't a bad experience. There wasn't any kind of feeling that the parents are ambots themselves, just helping their son. To just what extent the son is, I don't know. I don't know just how much the brainwashing tapes and meetings are part of his regiment.
    I'll add a P.S. if my son tells me that he got the high pressure sales pitch.

  12. Dave - it sounds like the parents are trying to help out their son by promoting his products and perhaps trying to feel out if anyone is interested in becoming an Amway distributor. Maybe they'll even sign up as IBO's themselves to help him out with one leg and not get much more involved. The parents may feel very uncomfortable with Amway but want to support their son. Hopefully your son didn't get the old sales pitch. I bet he did though. Ambots don't have any other kinds of discussion other than how wonderful being in the Amway business is.

    Look at a little description on the Alticor website "We are the parent company of three distinct and dynamic businesses: Amway, Access Business Group LLC, and Alticor Corporate Enterprises."

    Its all part of Amway’s smoke and mirror act. Now they’re Amway. Now they’re not. Now they’re Quixtar. Now they’re not. Now they’re Amway again. But for how long before they become Access Business Group?

    Amway has a bad reputation and when people figured out Quixtar was the same thing as Amway that gave Quixtar a bad name so it stands to reason why they need some back up names on hand.

  13. On a similar topic, there was an article on TechCrunch today about an AMAZING CEO who used to be in a gang, but he had a step-dad teach him all about being an entrepreneur, and now he's worth MILLIONS, sounds just like Kiwosaki, it's ringing all sorts of bullshit detection bells in my mind :o)

    He too has a business where you can make $20,000 per month at home, plus a new BMW within 3 weeks of starting, how exciting ;o)

    I really need to get into the I-was-poor-then-I-found-out-the-secret-of-success-now-Im-rich market. I'll tell you the secret for a mere $99 per month plus additonal fees.


  14. Al,
    Even before I ever heard of Amway, I've always had a keen bullshit detector myself (just naturally cynical, I guess). I always automatically assumed when I would hear these get rich quick infomercials that a person would send in for their book and upon opening it find it said just one thing "Get your own informercial and tell people to send in $99 to you and have a book that has this same paragraph". lol
    I never knew if they really did, but I would chuckle and think "I'll bet that's it".

  15. Anna,
    Pleased to report that no one attempted to push any sales pitch on my son after that party when he was by himself. I guess my wife made it pretty clear in the past that we had absolutely no use for Amway or whatever name it happened to be masquerading as. That they still want to associate with us shows there is still hope for them. lol

  16. Thanks Al. Actually there was one person in our line - maybe more - who was with a gang. He was the only one who admitted to it. He was going to threaten people to sign up with Amway?

  17. Dave - glad to hear your son didn't get a sales pitch, however his friend's upline will do what it takes to separate him from anyone not involved in Amway.

  18. This blog is so addicting lol! What makes it so great, is that everything Anna Banana says 100% truth. Ambots are the biggest losers the world has to offer!


Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!

If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:
1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.
2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.
3. Naming names? Public figures like politicians and actors and people known in Amway are probably OK – the owners, Diamonds with CDs or who speak at functions, people in Amway’s publicity department who write press releases and blogs. Its humiliating for people to admit their association with Amway so respect their privacy if they’re not out there telling everyone about the love of their life.
4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.
5. Posting something creepy anonymously and we can’t track your location because you’re on a mobile device or using hide my ass or some other proxy. I attracted an obsessed fan and one of my blog administrators attracted a cyberstalker. Lets keep it safe for everyone. Anonymous is OK. Creepy anonymous and hiding – go fuck yourselves!
6. Posting something that serves no purpose other than to cause fighting.
7. Posting bullshit Amway propaganda. We might publish that comment to make fun of you. Otherwise take your agenda somewhere else. Not interested.
8. Notice how this blog is written in English? That's our language so keep your comments in English too. If you leave a comment written in another language then we either have to use Google translate to put it into English so everyone can understand what you wrote or we can hit the Delete button. Guess which one is easier for us to do?
9. We suspect you're a troublemaking Amway asshole.
10. Your comment got caught in the spam filter. Gets checked occasionally. We’ll get to you eventually and approve it as long as it really isn’t spam.