Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Qualifications For Getting an Amway Customer Service Job

I get a lot of hits from a reader(s) in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Most of them are affiliated with Alticor/Amway. They love Anna Banana! Gotta get their daily dose!

The other day I got a hit from someone in Grand Rapids searching how to get a customer service job with Amway.

My first thought is what kind of scum sucking low life son of a bitch wants to work for a company that is responsible for destroying lives, causing financial distress, bankruptcies, debt, divorces, etc, etc. Then I remember the other day I was watching the news and there was a segment about people who got laid off from their jobs two years ago, three years ago and some of them are desperate to accept any kind of job. So I shouldn’t judge some poor unfortunate soul who is so desperate to get a job that they’d apply to Scamway. Desperation causes people to lower themselves to accept jobs with shitty companies just to get a paycheck.

Average companies have 20% of their employees that actually like their job, 60% who don’t give a shit one way or another its just a job, and 20% who hate their jobs. Thats how it is. Average companies have 80% of their employees, some who might like their job but mostly its just a paycheck, who would leave their company in a second if they found a better job somewhere else. I’ve dealt with Amway’s customer service department and I can tell you that I was obviously dealing with people in the 80%! I have a clear picture of what the qualifications are to get a job as an Amway customer service employee so hopefully this list will help if Grand Rapids job searcher comes back to my blog.

Qualifications to get a job as an Amway customer service agent:

  1. Ability to be nasty to others
  2. Good at lying
  3. Poor communication skills
  4. Don’t give a shit about helping others
  5. Poor problem solving ability
  6. Argumentative
  7. Not looking for long term employment
  8. Arrogant
  9. Hate talking to people
  10. No experience necessary and we don’t train
  11. Have a rotten personality
  12. Be discourteous to customers
  13. Hate holding down a job
  14. Unhelpful
  15. Inappropriate time management skills
  16. Inability to complete tasks
  17. Ineffective customer follow up
  18. Clock watchers
  19. No particular desire to move up in the company
  20. Refuse to do anything that requires immediate attention
  21. Following company procedures optional
  22. Strong superiority complex
  23. Not flexible
  24. Ability to effectively convey to the customer how bored you are with them
  25. No sense of humor
  26. Able to push buttons and cause anger and rage in clients
  27. Ability to make people hate you and hate the company
No happy, helpful personality types who actually love their jobs need apply!!! Lazy ass bastards are absolutely encouraged to apply. This is your dream job come true!!!


  1. Anna: This is a hilarious list! I'm sure many people wonder that guy had to do a search on how to apply...

  2. Thanks Connie! They could also hire applicants who can fake it. You know how they're real big on fake it till you make it! Those same qualifications can apply to other occupations too. I met a rather nasty man at the passport office many years ago who could meet all those above criteria. Everyone else I've dealt with at the passport office since then has been part of the I don't give a shit about my job majority but none of them were as nasty as that one guy. Maybe Scamway's got him now!

  3. Nice list and hilarious, Anna. In Indian context the list is very small. Only ability to lie is more than enough.

  4. Thanks Shyam! Ability to lie is very important when it comes to Amway - no matter if you work for the company or an IBO. Working for the company one also must be obnoxious but I'm not sure if that's a prerequisite or learned while working from the company. I'm sure its not easy being the person answering phones and listening to the caller bitch about Amway's high prices, shitty quality products, and abusive upline.

  5. If anyone is interested in new ways to save and make money doing the opposite of everything on this list please contact me at 702-818-0389 ask for Naylor. God Bless

    1. Naylor - what the fuck are you trying to do?

      You show up at my blog after doing a Google search for "a list of Amway customers".

      Excuse us while we all have a good laugh here! Ha ha ha! Like such a thing exists on the Internet. A list of people who are willing to buy overpriced shitty Amway products. Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!

      You are from Maryville, Missouri but the area code on the phone number you gave is from Las Vegas, Nevada.

      I don't know what kind of scam you're running - other than the Amway scam.

      For all we know that phone number goes straight to a hot sex chatline!

      And then you're a fucking dumb ass ambot posting anonymously so you can't even come back here and delete your post. Do you know what happens when you post your phone number "out there" on the Internet? You dumb ass ambots!

    2. It's kind of humorous that he'd think folks reading this blog... seeing how Amway is a cult of lies and losing family, friends and money ... would then see a phone number basically saying "Hey, give me a call and pretend you don't know that I'm going to tell you about an amazing business opportunity where you'll be walking beaches of the world in 2 to 5 years".

      Uh, yeah. The folks here do their best to avoid brainwashed Amway scammers, so like they are going to call and INVITE themselves to be bullshitted to? Suuuuuure!


    3. Dave - this guy is a fucking moron - a character trait most ambots possess! - for putting his phone number onto my blog! Maybe I should just forward it on to the Wipper Brothers!

      Yeah right the only people who see his phone number on my blog and will be motivated to call him are probably up for a little fun!

  6. Lmao bytch yu are hilarious yu obviously have to much time on Yur hand to worry about Amway Lmao while yu are broke Amway is making millions

    1. Why do you fucking Amway assholes all think I'm poor when my income is higher than the amount Amway says the average Diamond earns? That tells me you don't think too much of those fucking Diamonds who are even more broke than I am which is probably very close to the truth!

  7. Lmao yu are very pathetic I'm a customer service represative from Amway and yes honey straight from ADA mi while yu failed in our business theirs others reaching diamond platinum level don't blame others for yur failure I help every single day these ibo' s get to the level their at quite frankly I'm happy yur sorryass is not with amway anymore yu were prolly the people who would call in constantly to report they did not recieve orders, items we will never doubt yu and always process replacements were not dumb we no half of these reports are bs but hey were Amway we can do that shit and honey yu want to talk about high prices quality cost my love if yu can't afford it don't join then yu make me laugh with yur dumb posts I did not know ver brainwash people lmao well while u sit here and stress over Amway we will keep doing our thing if yu ever want to chat give us a call yu have our number if yu don't its public honey make sure yu speak with one of us in ADA mi and I really do hope u yu accept my post time to here it from an actual

    1. You are a shining representative of the bastards I had to deal with every time I called Amway's head office and had to speak with the I-don't-give-a-shit desk!

    2. Lmao like I said give us a call we can have a nice chat, yeah and the near truth is u don't even make more then the minimum wage my best bet is ur probably unemployed Fat ugly couch potato who spends their day bashing one of the world's too leading multimillion company's, honey their is a way to make it in Amway yu got be smart be skilled and know how the business works obviously yu were def. not fit to figure it out yu failed on yur own, get a new hobbey and stopped being so obsessed with Amway quite frankly its good day former amway lover obsesser and stalker

    3. It's almost like this person is actively trying to have the worst grammar ever. Remember folks, stay in school or you too could have a flashy career in an Amway call center.

    4. Amway customer service rep - be sure to read the latest posts on my blog - devoted to you! My readers love this stuff! Doesn't Scamway have a policy that the only people in your company allowed to speak publicly are someone designated as a media rep? And I say way to go to you for telling your employer to fuck off they ain't going to take away your right to freedom of speech! Luckily I ain't the Amway police so don't worry about me ratting you out because I just don't give a fuck about anything Amway.

    5. Anonymous - that is very true. Amway hires McDonalds rejects!

  8. That is so wrong I myself workd for Amway customer service and I can say it is the opposite 20% might not like their job but the rest of us did. I know all of us worked really hard to help the person on the other side of the phone.

    1. Hi Anonymous. I notice you said worked as in past tense so congrats on getting out of there. I've had enough Amway employees stop by to tell how they're treated like shit. All I can say is that no one I dealt with in customer service gave a shit and were the most unpleasant bastards around wanting you to jump through hoops and mildly threatening and intimidating. But that could be a result of their shitty working conditions. And just because you think you did a good job the person you're dealing with on the phone, your coworkers, and your boss might disagree. Everyone seems to have an overinflated opinion of themself when it comes to how good a job they think they're doing. I hope you found a better job.


Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!

If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:
1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.
2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.
3. Naming names? Public figures like politicians and actors and people known in Amway are probably OK – the owners, Diamonds with CDs or who speak at functions, people in Amway’s publicity department who write press releases and blogs. Its humiliating for people to admit their association with Amway so respect their privacy if they’re not out there telling everyone about the love of their life.
4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.
5. Posting something creepy anonymously and we can’t track your location because you’re on a mobile device or using hide my ass or some other proxy. I attracted an obsessed fan and one of my blog administrators attracted a cyberstalker. Lets keep it safe for everyone. Anonymous is OK. Creepy anonymous and hiding – go fuck yourselves!
6. Posting something that serves no purpose other than to cause fighting.
7. Posting bullshit Amway propaganda. We might publish that comment to make fun of you. Otherwise take your agenda somewhere else. Not interested.
8. Notice how this blog is written in English? That's our language so keep your comments in English too. If you leave a comment written in another language then we either have to use Google translate to put it into English so everyone can understand what you wrote or we can hit the Delete button. Guess which one is easier for us to do?
9. We suspect you're a troublemaking Amway asshole.
10. Your comment got caught in the spam filter. Gets checked occasionally. We’ll get to you eventually and approve it as long as it really isn’t spam.