Friday, December 23, 2011

The Ambot Who Stole Christmas

Even though it was Christmas time unhappiness existed all over the world because of a horrible evil cult named Amway.

The cult followers were known as ambots and they got together to put up a Christmas tree.

And they put ornaments on it.

They hung mistletoe.

The problem they quickly learned was that no one wanted to kiss an ambot under the mistletoe! Yuck gross!

Poor Tommy was a nasty Amway cult follower. He used to spend Christmas with his family.

Then last year he made the mistake of putting up an Amway Christmas tree.

He gave his relatives shitty Amway products for Christmas.

Tommy made the fatal mistake of giving his wife Artistry cosmetics for Christmas even though he knew she liked reasonably priced Avon products much better.

He gave his little girl an Amway doll for Christmas.

The Amway products he had so lovingly gone into credit card debt to buy all ended up in the trash.

Except for the Nutrilite vitamins that were flushed down the toilet. THE

So poor Tommy ended up hanging out with ambot buddies at Christmas because his family had left him - just one of the pitfalls of being involved in Amway.

Tommy even met the ambot of his dreams at the cult follower’s Christmas gathering.

All those unoriginal ambots! They all duplicated each other and gave the same Christmas present to everyone else and put it under the ambot Christmas tree.

To show no hard feelings Tommy’s ex-wife even sent along a Christmas present for their Platinum cult leader.

After getting high on XS the ambots put on Santa suits and went to the Amway Center and punched out the snowman.

The police showed up and gave the ambots sobriety tests which they all failed but oddly enough when they blew into the breathalizer no one showed any alcohol levels. Seeing as how the cops don’t like Amway or ambots they decided to toss them all in jail anyway for snowman assault.

And one final warning for anyone thinking of spending Christmas with an ambot.

I hope no one finds any Amway shit under their Christmas tree!

Wishing everyone happy holidays and Merry Christmas!


  1. sounds just like a amway christmas to

  2. JadenRed - Christmas Day was going good until Ambot wanting to sneak off and spend time with the upline assholes!

  3. Cult leaders used to organize a "holiday party" in our case. Ambots would play all sorts of games, acting out life pretend situations of a wretched, lost soul who signed up for scAmway brand of salvation and voila became a saved diamond. Disgusting!

  4. Thanks for your blog it is a source of laughter for me, but more importantly it is a source of information for those considering signing up with Amway or another MLM. Your blog and Joe Cool's blog has saved a lot of financial hardship, bankruptcy and divorce.
    Realizing and dissecting that Amway is a scam is not hard, the kingpins do strip you of your critical thinking ability by all tricks used in cults. Until the time I quit, I thought cults were just religious in nature, but have learned differently, thank God!
    I watched a video of Dexter Yeager speaking at a "major function" dated 2010. I was amazed at the poor sound and picture quality. I thought it was supposed to be a first class business and they can do no better than that? Dex talked about going to his high school reunion, something he used to always talk about when I was in and heard him speak. When is he going to get some new material to talk about?
    From the audience, it still looks like there are a lot of Ambots who need debriefing back to reality.

  5. Exmbot - I don't recall a specific ambot holiday party. Maybe its just one of those horrors that has been erased from my mind!

  6. Hi David - thanks for the nice words!

    Of course one of the worst kept secrets in the blogging community is that Joecool and I are one and the same!

    You're right. I also thought that cults were religion based. One can argue that Amway shoves religion down everyone's throats. Every Amway meeting, Amway function, and pretty much every Amway motivational CD there are plenty of religious references. I'd say religion is a huge part of Amway no matter how hard ambots might try to deny it. Amway has also been referred to as a corporate cult.

    My blog is a little different. Most ambots are told to submit to upline, and to love and worship and obey their upline. Then I come along and say our sponsor is a miserable fucked up pompous bastard and our Platinum is a fucked up arrogant sack of shit. Current IBO's are horrified that anyone would talk like that about their upline. Former IBO's think its hilarious that a blogger is telling it like it is!

  7. We just got a box in the mail from our beloved ambot! We're betting we got Amway stuff as Christmas presents!

  8. Anna thank you for the work you have put into this blog. You really helped me last year with the truth about scAmway/BWW/WWDB/MLMs.

    "Former IBO's think its hilarious that a blogger is telling it like it is!"

    Yes I find your style hilarious and inimitable (thank you David)

    Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and have a prosperous 2012 and beyond!

  9. Anonymous - I hope you saw my post

    It pretty much sums up getting anything from Amway in the mail! Here's hoping that you won't have any shitty Amway surprises under the tree on Christmas morning!

  10. Thanks ExAmbot. Writing this blog helps me work out the agression towards my former upline and the misery I went through. I can only help others going through the pain if I write down what I went through. Other bloggers do a much better job of getting the truth out there about Amway, WWDB, and MLM's. Some of the people who have posted comments on my blog are also extremely helpful. I move it on a personal level so people thinking of getting involved in Amway know what an upline is and about upline abuse. Personal experiences with dealing with the Amway IBO's are exactly what Amway and the LOS do not want getting out there. Gotta do my part.

    Merry Christmas to you too!

  11. Update: we got a giftcard to order from an away catalog and our kids got amway toys.

  12. Anonymous - sorry to hear your kids got shafted with Amway toys!

    Is that an Amway gift card or a Ribbons gift card? The Ribbons card you go to a website and you can choose a bunch of overpriced cheesy items. You might find something you can use for your house like a coffee maker or kettle.

    Interesting about the Ribbons gift cards is that they expired in a year from date of purchase. A real cash cow for Amway because most of the people who get those cards aren't particularly interested in getting something from Amway so they don't use them or they don't think about using them until after the gift card has expired so that is more money in Amway's pocket. Kind of like their annual membership fee for IBO's! Gift cards with an expiration date are against the law in a lot of states so Amway was sued a couple of years ago on those Ribbons gift cards and in order to comply with the law were forced to make them all with no expiration date.

  13. One of the greatest things I've heard on the CONTINUING EDUCATION PROGRAM through this wonderful opportunity was "Please, seens how most of you won't be here 1 month from now, 3 months from now, or a year from now..when someone asks you WHY Amway didn't work for you, be honest. You merely did not put in the effort required (as in any business you own will require such) to reach a level of your desire.

    1. Egads! Another brainwashed ambot. They're crawling out of the woodwork from the twin cities! Well Anonymous from Saint Paul, like I told your buddy from Minneapolis - unless of course you're the same person on the move! - we've all heard the canned Amspeak responses. "Didn't try hard enough." Its called a blame the victim scam. Be happy in your CONTINUING EDUCATION PROGRAM and get your schooling in how to lose your money, file for bankruptcy, go into foreclosure, divorce and all the other misery Scamway brings to people's lives.

  14. i dont see amway like what u described. You fail because you might did the wrong thing.

    Talk with other leader, i believe its still a good platform to success


Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!

If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:
1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.
2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.
3. Naming names? Public figures like politicians and actors and people known in Amway are probably OK – the owners, Diamonds with CDs or who speak at functions, people in Amway’s publicity department who write press releases and blogs. Its humiliating for people to admit their association with Amway so respect their privacy if they’re not out there telling everyone about the love of their life.
4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.
5. Posting something creepy anonymously and we can’t track your location because you’re on a mobile device or using hide my ass or some other proxy. I attracted an obsessed fan and one of my blog administrators attracted a cyberstalker. Lets keep it safe for everyone. Anonymous is OK. Creepy anonymous and hiding – go fuck yourselves!
6. Posting something that serves no purpose other than to cause fighting.
7. Posting bullshit Amway propaganda. We might publish that comment to make fun of you. Otherwise take your agenda somewhere else. Not interested.
8. Notice how this blog is written in English? That's our language so keep your comments in English too. If you leave a comment written in another language then we either have to use Google translate to put it into English so everyone can understand what you wrote or we can hit the Delete button. Guess which one is easier for us to do?
9. We suspect you're a troublemaking Amway asshole.
10. Your comment got caught in the spam filter. Gets checked occasionally. We’ll get to you eventually and approve it as long as it really isn’t spam.