Showing posts with label XS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label XS. Show all posts

Monday, June 11, 2012

Amway Product to Stop Sperm Leaking

This has got to be one of the more weirder search criteria that snagged an Amway ambot to my blog: “Amway product to stop sperm leaking”.

Oh you know women just hate that! LOL!!!

And women are probably going to find this topic a whole lot more funny than men!

Well I could go on and give my thoughts on this guy’s problem but I decided to make some sort of attempt of keeping this post reasonably clean.

And by clean I don’t mean my language. I mean clean in that I don’t really want to talk about male bodily functions! Men are gross enough as it is without me detailing the bathroom terms. All married women get this one!

Instead of asking the all knowledgeable expert assholes in his Amway upline he hits the Internet. If I could keep a straight face I’d ask an ambot myself. In fact maybe I’ll save this little gem to ask the next Amway asshole who badgers me about the overpriced shitty product he sells what he’s flogging to make the sperm stop leaking. Be interesting to see what answer I get! Some rotten ambot is gonna be sorry he tried to prospect me!

Amway ambots are liars. They sell snake oil. For anything that ails you they will tell you they have an Amway product that will cure you or help you feel better.

If this ambot asks his upline to recommend an Amway product to stop the leaking sperm he will likely be told to buy Double X because its good for sex. In fact buy just about every Amway Nutrilite vitamin available for sell. Combined they’ll do the trick. He’ll be told to buy Perfect Water and buy those twist tubes to mix with the water. And drink lots of XS piss water and eat plenty of shitty Amway food bars.

Ka ching ka ching ka ching. Spend at least $1000 buying all these Amway snake oil products and see if it gets you the results you need.

And if they don’t work the upline will blame him that he’s doing something wrong. He’s not taking the product correctly. The old blame the victim scam.

For fuck’s sake guy! Talk to your doctor! Don’t go around buying shitty overpriced Amway products that ain’t gonna do piss all good for you!

But thanks for giving me an unusual topic post and a subject that I can embarrass the next ambot about!

Friday, May 11, 2012

Amway WWDB Family Reunion 2012

There are Amway IBO’s who are looking for information on WWDB Amway Family Reunion 2012 so here I am to help in their quest! I found some information about Puryear Family Reunion on the World Wide Dream Builders website but it would appear that any other Diamonds looking to cash in on this Amway function need to get the word out to their downline some other way.

Top rat gets the publicity and the bigger share of the tool scam pie!

There are a lot of ambots looking for info on the Duncan Family Reunion 2012.

Can’t find no information on the World Wide Destructive Bastards website because they’re busy promoting the Puryear Family Reunion. Must piss off the other Diamonds that they’re not getting their fair share of advertising!

I had this problem in 2011. The Amway cult is very secretive and very hush hush. The only way brainwashed ambots can get this top secret information about Duncan Family Reunion is from the assholes in their upline. Or from Anna Banana!

However I did find out that the Oregon Convention Center in Portland Oregon is booked on July 21 to 22 2012 for Duncan Family Reunion. Unknown which Duncan - apparently there are 2 or 3 of them running around out there brainwashing ambots.

Don’t know of any other venues for WWDB Family Reunion for any other Diamonds though undoubtedly they are happening and ambots are being encouraged to hit as many as possible. Many ambots should be able to attend both Puryear Family Reunion being held in Boise Idaho on July 13 to 15 2012 and then haul ass to Portland Oregon to catch the Duncan Family Reunion from July 21 to 22 2012. I will post dates and cities for any other WWDB Amway Family Reunion as I find out about them.

So basically all I can do right now is use this blog to throw in some keywords to reel in ambots who are looking for WWDB Amway Family Reunion information and particularly Duncan Family Reunion 2012. Fortunately Married To An Ambot is very high on the search engines for just about every kind of search when it comes to Amway.

It looks like I am forced to give the Anna Banana version of what really happens at Family Reunion! Even though this is several years old these Amway brainwashing conferences do not change much.

So we bust our asses driving there being harrassed for much of the drive by our sponsor Captain Fuck Up who kept phoning to bitch at ambot that he’d lost his wallet which meant he had no cash, no ID, no credit cards, etc etc. That fucking Amway asshole must have phoned at least 20 times to bitch about his damned wallet! Now whose fault is it that he lost it? Apparently Ambot’s! That’s what Amway is all about. Pointing fingers and throwing blame on others. We were about 3 hours into the drive when Captain Fuck Up suggested he left his wallet in our house and demanded we turn home and look around for it just in case it was there. I think Ambot was smart enough to figure out if I spent 3 hours driving home I was staying there! Plus it would have meant he’d miss the very important Amway shitty trade show on Friday night. I’m sure nobody gives a shit but Captain Fuck Up’s wallet never turned up in our house or anywhere else. Probably some ambot stole it at the previous night’s cult meeting.

Friday night Amway trade show. Pretty shitty excuse for a trade show. The usual assholes were there flogging their overpriced shit: Artistry, Nutrilite, XS, and Perfect Water. There was also a check in desk and if you were registered for Family Reunion you could get your weekend information packet early. While we were there our upline Eagle showed up with some others in his downline. One of the bastards claimed he’d registered a day or 2 earlier and paid on the WWDB website but when he showed up to get his weekend packet they couldn’t find he’d registered. So there he was no money and nobody in his upline with any money and no way to come up with $250 to get into Family Reunion. Then Ambot shows up and starts bragging that I’ve got a couple of hundred extra bucks in my wallet. Would that have something to do with a door crasher at JC Penney on Saturday and a cappuccino machine I was planning to buy? So the fucking asshole Eagle starts bitching at Ambot to loan the cash so the dumb ass ambot in his downline can get his ticket and hotel for Family Reunion. And because Ambot wants to look so high and mighty and all big and important in front of all these fucking Amway assholes he’s devoted his life to worshipping and impressing he hands over the cash.

Which I might add we never got the cash back because the fucking Amway assholes said that was the same amount we’d need for Free Enterprise Days FED coming up in October and they would take care of buying the tickets for us and that way we’d all be even.

Fuck you Amway assholes! What about my goddamned cappuccino machine thats on sale??????

So the fucking WWDB Amway Family Reunion gets started on Saturday. Fuck what a waste of money! One fucking piece of shit Platinum after another gets up on stage to gloat here I am. Men in tuxedoes and women in evening ball gowns. Like where the fuck do you assholes think you are? This ain’t formal night on the Love Boat! All those sack of shit Platinums thank every asshole in their Amway upline. What a bunch of ass kissers! Those Platinums are kissing so much ass I’m surprised they’re not choking on shit! So this goes on all day. Oh and the creepy part is all these brainwashed ambots who crowd around the stage screaming like the Beatles are up there instead of just some scamming slimy piece of shit Platinums. Then they break for dinner which is included with the price but we have to haul ass to another venue to eat. The food wasn’t all that great. Just less than average el cheapo banquet fare.

The day’s torture ain’t over. We go back to the arena and now we have to put up with some Diamonds that are pissed off they aren’t making as much money speaking at the function as they’d like to so they spend the next 3 or 4 hours telling the ambots to buy more motivational materials so they can make money this weekend. Brainwashing hell is over around 11pm.

Ambot and I are staying at a hotel where no one in our LOS is staying and I don’t think there was a night owl or if there was we didn’t go.

Sunday morning is a church service. No thanks. I’ll sleep in so I don’t have to put up with any more wacko Amway religious crap like I had my fill the day before. I think the afternoon bullshit session got going again around 1pm and was over at 5. Thank god! Let’s get the hell out of here and go home.

Family Reunion sucks!

WWDB sucks!

Amway sucks!

What a fucking waste of a weekend!

What a fucking waste of money!

What a fucking waste of not getting a great deal on a cappuccino machine!

And a big fuck you to all the Amway assholes in my upline!!!!

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

On the Topic of Thieving Amway IBO’s

I mentioned in a previous post how an ambot in our WWDB crossline has lost his phone at Amway Spring Leadership brainwashing conference. Though I’m sure the real story is he put his phone down, buggered off somewhere leaving it unattended to record the words of wisdom from the Amway cult leaders, and an IBO saw it and said hey free phone! and took it. I don’t know what kind of phone it was. Our sack of shit Platinum was encouraging everyone in the downline to buy a Blackberry so it might have been one of those. All I know is there were enough bells and whistles on it to include a recording device. Yeah its kind of like a news story I heard a month ago where a bunch of cell phones - I think iPhones - were randomly dropped off to see if honest people would return them. They all had tracking devices and were able to be monitored to see what sections of the phone the finder would access.

I was at a park a couple of years ago and seen a young woman was running down the path. She stopped and asked if I’d seen her iPhone. I hadn’t. She’d been in the park and had got back to her car 5 minutes earlier and realized her phone wasn’t in her pocket and was hoping to find it dropped somewhere on the path. But she seemed to doubt she’d ever see it again. What do those things cost? Around $500? Not everyone’s going to be honest enough to return them.

But enough about phones. We were at World Wide Dream Builders Family Reunion and it must have been dinner break. Ambot and I were walking back to the arena from wherever we’d scrounged up food. There were probably about 20 or so ambots walking near us, you know we all get stopped by a traffic light and have to wait to cross so a little group forms. As we got on the arena grounds I noticed a wallet lying on the lawn, about 15 feet or so off the path. So I said hey there’s a wallet and walked over to pick it up. Now I had an audience. All the ambots stopped to watch. What am I? The evening’s entertainment? Or are they all thinking oh fuck she saw it first so I’m out of luck at taking whatever’s inside. I flipped it open looked at the driver’s license and it belonged to some guy out of state most likely an ambot. We had no idea who the guy was so I told Ambot we should go back to the arena and look for security and hand it in. And we continued walking. One of the suck up ambots that was walking near us said something to the effect of where else could you lose a wallet and end up getting it back again but at an Amway function.

Um, just about anywhere in the world. There are honest and dishonest people everywhere. Ambots are liars and scammers so right there is the proof that people in Amway are not honest. The wallet had no money in it. That tells me another ambot came along before I did and found the wallet probably on the path, removed the cash, and then tossed the wallet 15 feet to the side. Not quite good enough aim to make it into the garden and the thief probably didn’t want to call attention to him/herself and retrieve the wallet and make another attempt to hide it.

We had some items stolen by our upline. Mostly things that ambot loaned to our thieving Amway upline and never got back again. One was a cooler that said XS on it. Bought the XS gear at a hugely overinflated price. Not that I give a shit one way or another if I ever see it again because we have enough coolers and I don’t want to go around advertising the cat piss drink but I’m just pointing out that some scamming Amway IBO stole it off us.

We also had a bunch of marketing material stolen off us from people in our Amway upline. Again, nothing that I give a shit about. Its not like I want it back. Just pointing out that Amway ambots are a bunch of thieves and will steal instead of buy. See my ambot had to buy all this shit and provide it for Amway meetings even though that “honor” was supposed to go to higher pins, none of them could afford it so Ambot would jump in and buy it in other words put another Amway related charge on his credit card.

The last stolen item our Amway upline stole from us was a camera and the camera bag. Ambot tried for months to get that back and finally threatened to call the police. At that point someone in his upline got it back from whoever had stolen it (Ambot knew who had it) and we got it back. Broken of course. We have no idea who broke it. These are all a bunch of lying scheming Amway ambots so they would all deny breaking it. No one in Amway takes ownership of anything other than pretending to be fake business owners. And seeing as how they’re a bunch of irresponsible Amway IBO’s none of them would step up and take responsibility and get it repaired. Fucking assholes!

Just give us more reasons to hate Amway and World Wide Destructive Bastards! Not content at just destroying relationships they will destroy your personal property too!

Sunday, April 1, 2012

How Many Ambots Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb?

I hope everyone is having a good April Fool’s Day!

I’ve resurrected a joke I left in comments a couple of months ago just in case some of my readers missed it.

How many ambots does it take to change a lightbulb?

The entire “team”!

A lowly newly recruited IBO who still has enough room on his credit card to buy an overpriced piece of shit Amway lightbulb.

Another lowly newly recruited IBO who will be sent up the ladder first to wash down the area. Free IBO slave labor!

Another lowly newly recruited IBO who has been assigned to provide refreshments - XS piss water and shitty Amway food bars.

5 IBOs who have been assigned to be a committee to figure out what to do with the old lightbulb.

Another 5 IBO’s who have been assigned to pray that the spirit of darkness has not descended upon this home to spread negativity.

The Eagle who asks permission from the Platinum if they are allowed to change the lightbulb.

Someone from crossline who is a specialist in changing lightbulbs but first permission must be granted from the Emerald for him to fraternize with the crossline enemy team.

The crossline’s Platinum who is only showing up to ensure no MLM espionage is going on here.

The ambot’s Platinum who shows up to whine and bitch that he could be spending time with his family and instead he is here to “help” his downline and “bless” the lightbulb once its installed.

The Emerald who shows up to tell all of them he doesn’t believe in change.

The Diamond who sells a motivational book on how to get it done.

One negative dream stealer who claims its a mathematical probability that it can’t be done.

You know all they had to do was find one woman who could do the work of 20 men. Who would then point out the blatantly obvious that the light isn’t even burned out it just needed to be screwed into its socket a little tighter! And then point out the even more blatantly obvious that there were already extra lightbulbs in the cupboard that were stocked up the last time there was a sale at Lowe’s so they didn’t even need to go out and buy those expensive shitty bulbs from Amway!

Sunday, March 25, 2012

8 Things You Shouldn’t Do If You’re An Amway Ambot

Well there’s a whole lot more than eight things an ambot shouldn’t do but I saw this article titled 8 Things You Shouldn’t Do At Work and decided to find a way to make it apply to Amway ambots. Except that ambots will never follow these guidelines because they’re a bunch of arrogant assholes who think they’re better than everyone else because they’re in Amway. Being polite, respectful, and courteous to others does not apply when you’re in the Amway cult.


  1. Talking too loudly on the phone - Yup all those rotten lousy ambots full of self importance at being a “business owner” have a phone plastered to their ear EVERYWHERE yapping away loudly so everyone around them can tell how “important” they are doing business on their cell phone. Get a clue you fucking ambots! Nobody wants to listen to your side of the conversation! Go somewhere else and pretend to be big shot dicks!
  2. Listening to loud music or videos - AAACCCKKKK!!!!! I could just scream whenever my Ambot or another ambot insisted on sticking a CD into the car’s player or their portable unit and crank up the volume! FUCK!!!!! Turn off that fucking piece of shit! The rest of us who aren’t brainwashed ambots don’t give a shit about what that fucking Diamond has to say! Where’s the sledge hammer??????
  3. Messing up the (kitchen) auditorium -  Ambots are slobs! Every Scamway meeting we attended the ambots would bring overpriced snacks - XS cat piss drink, (not)Perfect Water, and shitty food bars. They’d leave their trash on the floor under the seats when they leave. Is it so difficult to pick up your fucking Amway trash and carry it outside to the nearest garbage can? Fucking ambots with a sense of entitlement - Oh the arena has hired a janitor to pick up after us. I’ll give you a little message from that janitor. “Fuck you ambot slobs!”
  4. Bringing your kids into the office too much - I had trouble with this one until I read down and article substituted kids with spouse or friends. So lets just go with:
    • Bringing your wife to Amway meetings too much - especially when your wife don’t want to be there. Nobody wants to watch their significant other being brainwashed into a cult and watch their bank account dwindle and their debt increase. Leave her at home or there will be hell to pay somewhere down the road!
  5. Crowding everyone’s inbox - Everyone in our World Wide Destructive Bastards line had to sign up for a Yahoo Group account so the cult leaders could send messages. Yeah like we don’t get enough junk and spam showing up in our inbox without Amway’s fucking cult leaders adding to it. Same thing with text messages. Never ending deluge!
  6. Being a Debbie Downer? - what the fuck I’ve never heard that term before. Bottom line it means someone negative. Ambots are the most negative people I know. Always going around predicting doom and gloom. This business and that business and the other business are all closing down, going bankrupt, whatever. Everyone will be dead or broke by the time they’re 65 - except of course for Amway ambots.
  7. Texting in the elevator - Or texting anywhere else! Those fucking Amway ambots always got their cell phones either on a car or texting trying to look big and important. Fucking morons! Those texts from the upline go on late in the evening often the wee hours of the morning and then start up again around 6am. Mostly our sack of shit Platinum. Fuck you asshole just because you drank a bunch of XS piss water and can’t sleep get off your fucking phone and give us a break!
  8. Dressing Inappropriately - what’s with this wearing a business suit to a BBQ? What’s this with wearing a business suit at night? What’s this with wearing a business suit to a cult meeting? Those fucking Amway ambots can’t figure it out that people can dress casually and comfortably and not look like slobs. Its not all about the suit! Its all about the control issue when you’re being brainwashed by a cult. Wear a fucking suit cause I said so and I’m your cult leader so you better fucking listen to me!!!!
No ambot will ever follow these guidelines. Ambots have their heads so far up their asses that they don’t see how everyone looks at them as a bunch of arrogant obnoxious assholes.

And the one thing you should do when you are no longer in the Amway cult? Apologize to everyone you treated badly because they would not support your phony business in the Amway pyramid scheme. Apologizing to everyone who you pissed off with the above 8 points is a good start.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Ambots bragging about Amway Tax Refunds

I had an ambot show up to leave a comment on this post:


LOL... she lost $35 000 in 11 years, that's just shy of $3200 a year... you all understand this is a product business and despite what you think about the business structure the products themselves are very rarely second to none. Even a deaf mute could sell enough product in amway to profit $3200 a year to cover those expenses, not to mention the tax return money if you even keep half assed books. I love how she fails to mention how much money she made from selling products and tax return income for running a home based business.... and if she didn't make her money back from sales volume and tax return, then I do not feel sorry for her.... she was just lazy and I know how much you all Love to hear that!


For a moment let’s try to put aside the canned Amspeak bullshit. This is typical of most comments that ambots leave on my blog.

Today’s post is about the part of this comment where the ambot mentions getting a tax return income based on running your Amway business. Seeing as how tax time is coming upon us I thought I’d revisit this whole get-a-tax-refund-if-you’re-in-Amway that is widely promoted by the Amway cult leaders.

This was the type of tax advice our Amway upline gave us that everything in Amway is a tax deduction and as this ambot clarified - they count Amway tax returns as part of an IBO income. What the upline really means is the only way an IBO can make money in Amway is to deduct Amway expenses from the income they earn in their real J.O.B and the only Amway income comes in the form of a tax refund. Our upline told us we’d get a big tax refund deducting all our Amway expenses - legitimate or not.

At Amway meetings I attended the Platinum and pretty much everyone else in the room would be bragging how things couldn’t be better and their business is growing. Then these same IBO’s claim they’re getting a large refund after filing their income taxes.

My Ambot was fascinated. He had no idea the secret to getting a tax refund - according to our upline - was to become an Amway IBO. Free money from the government!

Refund? Ha, that’s a laugh when your business is doing good.

Ambots can not grasp this concept.

If your business makes too much money (income) and you don’t have enough deductions (expenses) you owe money at tax time. Yay! Business is going great!

If you do not make much money and your expenses are higher that your income then the government issues you a refund. Boo! Business is the shits!

In other words it is pretty much impossible for an IBO to claim business is going great and they’re making lots of money and then talk out of the other side of their mouth about how they’re getting a big tax refund. Or as ambots refer to it: tax return income for running an Amway business.

Most Amway IBO’s in addition to being fake business owners work a dreaded J.O.B. and are employed by a company and receive regular paychecks. When tax time comes around those sneaky Amway bastards deduct all their Amway expenses (XS, Perfect Water, vitamins, food bars, hotels, function tickets, meals, travel, etc) against their job’s income.

That is the only way most IBO’s make money in Amway. By declaring everything they spend on Amway as a business expense and deducting it off their job’s income.

Lying little ambot bastards that they are! Tax cheaters!

Here is a big clue ambots! Unless you own a grocery store, items that you eat (groceries!) can not be deducted as business expenses in order to get a tax refund. When you’re an Amway IBO if you’re declaring travel and restaurant expenses on your taxes you better be showing some kind of Amway income profit on selling Amway products. If Uncle Sam catches up with you you’ll be up shit creek!

My husband and I run a legitimate business. We have a tax number. We have business license. We have insurance. We have accounting software where we create client invoices, and enter all monies received from clients and all monies we paid out in the course of running our business. We have legitimate business expenses that can be used as deductions. We back it all up on a CD and give it to our accountant at tax time. This is because we’re smart enough to hire the services of a professional who checks we entered everything correctly and aren’t missing information and ensures we are not leaving ourselves exposed and who also does their damnedest to make sure they write off as many expenses as they legitimately can so that we have less money to pay back to the government in what we owe in taxes.

Sure the hell beats “counselling with upline” and being told everything in Amway (XS, Perfect Water, vitamins, laundry soap, cleaning products, etc) is a legitimate business deduction!

For the record - our accountant disagreed with our Amway upline! Refused to handle anything Amway related saying “I deal with legitimate businesses not pyramid schemes.”

So much for “never question upline”!

If you are running a pretend Amway business and are taking your upline’s advice on filling out your taxes so that you can earn your money in Amway courtesy of a government tax refund check be prepared to end up in big shit in an audit.

When we were in Amway we were told if nothing else Amway is a good tax shelter. The taxman might disagree. Here is some more interesting reading:

IRS to Amway: The Party’s Over!

IRS answers for business or hobby and deductions. http://www.irs.gov/newsroom/article/0,,id=169490,00.html

Peter Reilly’s blog post about Amway IBO’s in tax court.

Another post by Peter Reilly about taxes and Amway. This one is kind of interesting if you go to the comments. In typical ambot fashion anytime posts like this surface on the Internet the Amway rats scramble out of the sewer to battle the truth by coming out swinging with false accusations in a bizzare attempt to create distractions away from the truth about Amway. The first ambot who posts a response accuses Mr Reilly of murdering his mother!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Nasty Amway Shit Lurks in the Cupboard!

*****WARNING!!!! THIS POST CONTAINS A FRIGHTENING IMAGE!*****

Its been a few years since we jumped off the Amway hell wagon. We used up or threw away most of the Amway shit fairly quickly. One exception was when Ambot was cleaning out his medicine cabinet last May and came across old Nutrilite vitamins that he had to dispose.

I thought that was the end of all shitty Amway products that have been contaminating our house.

Nope. But I’m sure its not the first time in my life I’ve been wrong about something!

I was looking for a cookbook a small paperback that must have slipped behind the bigger books. I pulled out books and YIKES! There it was lurking in the dark depths and first time to see the light in many years. A Nutrilite raspberry joint health twist tube.


Yuck! Nasty! Sour stuff!

Ambot used to buy a box of all 4 or 5 flavors every order he put in every week. These little buggers are supposed to cure all known illnesses. They were to be used in conjunction with a bottle of Perfect Water to give it that extra edge for the miracle cure. Case of Perfect Water cost around $50. I think those twist tubes were $10 for 20 in a box. Different flavors to cure different ailments. The twist tube staring me in the face says raspberry and its for joint health. I don’t remember the other flavors or what they cured except for one other flavor was for immunity. Hell if it provided immunity from Amway I might have guzzled those suckers like there’s no tomorrow! As for the raspberry twist tube I like sour things so it wasn’t as bad as XS piss water but it did have an extra nasty little kick unpleasant aftertaste to it and it was usually impossible for me to finish off the entire bottle of spiked Amway water.

Even though I was usually able to almost finish drinking the sour raspberry water it did absolutely nothing for me in the way of joints and mobility and I took at least 5 of these a week for many months. Neither did it help the arthritic person we sold a box of raspberry twist tubes and Perfect Water to. Did piss all zippo! No difference taking this much hyped Amway snake oil product than drinking water out of the tap. $10 might seem like a small price to pay for 20 vitamin sticks but when they do nothing they’re yet another waste of money on some Amway product with over inflated claims of the miracles it can perform.

Yup just another Amway scam!

What’s really scary is that this joint supplement shit has no expiration date on the twist tube.

This better be the last shitty Amway product I find polluting my house. I'm gonna have to bring in someone to perform an exorcism on this place!

Monday, January 16, 2012

Mortgage your House all in the Name of Amway!

I’ve heard from a reader who mortgaged their house to buy Amway products.

Why the fuck do people do things like this?

Its all part of Amway’s sell the hope not the soap campaign. We go to Amway functions and the Diamonds stand on stage and tell their hard luck story. They all have the same story told slightly differently. I swear these bastards got together to figure out what fables to tell to the ambots in the audience anxious to devour every bullshit word from their beloved cult leaders.

The Diamond’s hard luck stories usually go to the effect that both the husband and wife were working minimum wage jobs when a dear friend came along to show them the Amway business plan. Every one of them seems to have borrowed $20 from their aunt to put gas in the car to get to the first Amway function. And the rest is history. The stuff that Amway fairy tales are made of. Ambots are ordered by their cult leaders to do whatever it takes to get to Amway functions. They fail to say the real reason they need high attendance is because those functions are how the Diamonds make most of their money from the tool scam. They give shitty advice to skip a few meals or skip the mortgage payment or take out a 2nd mortgage on your house. That way you’ll have the money to get to Amway functions.

The brainwashing that goes into these ambots to make them do dumb things just to make their cult leaders richer is incredible.

Mortgaging your house to buy Amway products? Just how many shitty overpriced Amway products does one person need? I guess that depends on if they play to single handedly - no downline or customers - get to their 1000 pin that month. Or maybe 2500 pin or 5000. Take any of those PV pin amounts and multiply by 3 to get the approximate dollar value of what those products cost.

How did the upline brainwash the ambots to mortgage the house for no other reason than to help their upline meet some goal that month. Probably had something to do with an upline Diamond falling out of qualification and everyone downline who owned a house was ordered to mortgage it and buy Amway products. You help your upline and one day there will be someone downline who will do the same for you.

Fuck that shit!

Can we say inventory loading?

I’ve never been brainwashed by a cult so I can’t pretend to understand what is going through the minds of these people who do crazy dumb ass things like mortgaging their house to buy Amway products just so they can get a little recognition and praise from their upline.

I thought it was bad enough to drain the savings account and run up the credit card debt just to keep the Amway cult leaders happy. Risking your house, probably your biggest investment, the place where you have a roof over your head and a warm dry place for your family to live and keep their stuff just because some upline asshole needs more PV to reach their monthly goal is stupid.

I’ve seen too many stories from former IBO’s who’ve lost their house thanks to the Amway scam. A little maneuver our upline tried to do with us too to take out a 2nd mortgage so we could buy lots more Amway shit. Ambot was convinced this was the right thing to do just because some upline Amway asshole said so. Too bad for him he’s not the only name on the deed and I ain’t putting up the house because some fucking Amway asshole that I despise says to do so.

Ah yes. No wonder those fucking assholes tried so hard to destroy our marriage. Once the ambot’s money supply runs out and the wife/husband refuses to use their credit card or sign away the house or car there’s nowhere else for those bastards to go except to destroy the relationship.

As all good little cult leaders must do.

Call it revenge for the PV not being as high as they want.

Can you image what becomes of a house that goes into foreclosure due to the Amway scam. The sherrif evicts the family and goes in with a crew to remove the belongings and put them into storage. And what are they removing? Boxes and boxes of $50 bottles of Perfect Water, boxes of XS piss water, boxes of shitty Amway Nutrilite food bars, and enough bottles of Nutrilite vitamins to clog every toilet in the Trump Tower.

And then when the evicted don’t pay the storage fees it gets auctioned off. Can you see that one on Storage Wars? Jarrod and Brandy pay a few hundred bucks for the unknown items inside the abandoned locker and end up with boxes and boxes of Amway shit.

Bring the dumpster over!

Friday, December 23, 2011

The Ambot Who Stole Christmas

Even though it was Christmas time unhappiness existed all over the world because of a horrible evil cult named Amway.

 
The cult followers were known as ambots and they got together to put up a Christmas tree.


And they put ornaments on it.


They hung mistletoe.


The problem they quickly learned was that no one wanted to kiss an ambot under the mistletoe! Yuck gross!


 
Poor Tommy was a nasty Amway cult follower. He used to spend Christmas with his family.


Then last year he made the mistake of putting up an Amway Christmas tree.


He gave his relatives shitty Amway products for Christmas.



Tommy made the fatal mistake of giving his wife Artistry cosmetics for Christmas even though he knew she liked reasonably priced Avon products much better.

 
He gave his little girl an Amway doll for Christmas.


  
The Amway products he had so lovingly gone into credit card debt to buy all ended up in the trash.



Except for the Nutrilite vitamins that were flushed down the toilet. THE
BEST PLACE
FOR SHITTY AMWAY PRODUCTS TO END UP!!!


 
So poor Tommy ended up hanging out with ambot buddies at Christmas because his family had left him - just one of the pitfalls of being involved in Amway.


Tommy even met the ambot of his dreams at the cult follower’s Christmas gathering.



All those unoriginal ambots! They all duplicated each other and gave the same Christmas present to everyone else and put it under the ambot Christmas tree.



To show no hard feelings Tommy’s ex-wife even sent along a Christmas present for their Platinum cult leader.

After getting high on XS the ambots put on Santa suits and went to the Amway Center and punched out the snowman.



The police showed up and gave the ambots sobriety tests which they all failed but oddly enough when they blew into the breathalizer no one showed any alcohol levels. Seeing as how the cops don’t like Amway or ambots they decided to toss them all in jail anyway for snowman assault.



And one final warning for anyone thinking of spending Christmas with an ambot.



I hope no one finds any Amway shit under their Christmas tree!

Wishing everyone happy holidays and Merry Christmas!


Sunday, December 18, 2011

Spend More and Save Less in Amway

The following is a repost of a blog I wrote last December.

I saw this advice on the news this morning while watching a story about Christmas spending, though this advice could certainly apply to Amway too.

So here's a rare blog where I don’t curse out my upline, a little off topic but seeing as how its the Christmas season sort of fits with this time of year.

I hate seeing stories about budgeting for Christmas especially when its 2 weeks away its pretty much a lost cause for most people. One financial expert that was interviewed said to budget 1.5% of your income for Christmas. That would include presents, baking extra meals, or any other spending that happens this time of year. He said if the annual income was $50,000 then that’s a budget of $750. He also said to save first, spend later and then totally glossed over that and moved on to saying spend only cash at Christmas. Like I said could be advice a little too late for some people who are whipping out the credit card and then regretting it when the January bill arrives in the mail.

Years ago I read something about figuring out how much money you spend for Christmas. Divide that amount by 12 and then put aside the cash every month. By the time Christmas shopping arrives you’ll have the cash on hand. Good advice. Every month Ambot and I put $80 into an envelope. By the time October or November rolls around we’ll top off the envelope for the rest of the year. So who’s good at math? By the time we start Christmas shopping we’ve got $960 sitting in an envelope. When we first started doing this we put in $60/month. Ambot suggested today that next year we should increase it to $100/month.

I’m a saver and Ambot is a spender which is what got him in trouble with the Amway cult and feeding into the scam. He pulled out his credit card for everything including buying his precious upline meals thinking that he’s tracking all his business expenses with a credit card not really comprehending that eventually he has to pay it back.

Using the same philosophy figure out how much you spend on Amway each month and set that cash aside, not use a credit card. Well actually most of the time you have to use a credit card cause its Internet purchases. So lets say cash that’s set aside to immediately pay back the credit card. Factor in at least $300/month on purchasing Amway products so you can earn a bonus check of just under $10. Ambot wanted to earn more money. The lowest amount he spent in a month was $468. Most months were between $950 and $1050 purchasing Amway products with the highest spending two months after joining - $1,358.

Here’s where I want to SCREAM! My food budget is $600 and that includes groceries and eating out, about half/half. What the fuck was he buying? OK, I’ve mentioned hyper consuming XS Energy Drinks before. How does this possibly come close to we buy from Amway products we normally buy when we’re grocery shopping? I’ve never come close when grocery shopping.

Saying you’re going el cheapo on buying CD’s so add another $20/month but the sky’s the limit. The most CD's Ambot purchased one month was $150 but most of the time it was closer to $40/month.

Gotta have your premier membership to WWDB $49.95. Don’t forget Communikate if you’re a “serious business builder” $36.95/month.

Various monthly seminars - tickets and parking - $70.

That’s $476.90 a month doing just the basics to earn a less than $10 bonus check from Amway and prove you’re a serious business owner. It goes up and up and up from there depending on how much room you have on your credit card and how much you want to impress your upline with your spending.

There are 4 major functions each year usually in another state. Transportation, meals, hotel, tickets - plan at least $500 and it could go higher depending on your circumstances (how far you’re travelling).

So lets do it like we’re putting cash aside for Christmas and dividing by 12. You need to set aside cash close to $700 (or more) each month!

Yikes!

Does anyone think that could be a mortgage payment? Does anyone think that could be invested in stocks or a 401k? How about a pretty big blow out for Christmas?

That’s a lot of cash to set aside each month for a business that has over a 99% failure rate.

I still like the advice from the financial expert today: “Save first, spend later.”

Apply that to your Amway business before you go nuts on your credit card to impress your upline.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Another Way to Lose Money in Amway - Selling Amway Products for Christmas

I wrote this last year but seeing as how Christmas is creeping closer and Amway is just creepy I’m bringing it out for any new readers who might not have seen this. This was just another way to waste a perfectly good Saturday doing Amway shit not to mention losing some money too. But then that’s what Amway’s all about. Losing time and money.

Our upline booked a community hall and turned it into Amway Christmas shopping central and all IBO’s were told to invite friends and family to attend and purchase Amway products as Christmas presents.

Most of the products out on display were the edibles - nasty food bars, disgusting XS energy drinks, vitamins, Perfect Water. You know - the type of stuff every kid wants to find under the Christmas tree.

Each IBO had to pay $10 towards the rental of the community hall. There were about 40 IBO’s at this event. You guessed it. The IBO’s outnumbered the shoppers.

The old community hall is on a fairly quiet street about 2 blocks from a busier street. There was a sign on the door advertising to come in for Christmas shopping. Perhaps they would have got more buyers if they’d gone a couple of blocks away and put a sign on the corner of the more travelled road. Or maybe not. First Saturday in December is the biggest shopping day of the year at the malls. Let’s weigh this out. Mall with lots of shops. Lots of variety. Good selection of products. Decently priced. Compare to Amway shopping central at a small mice-infested community hall. Overpriced products. Limited selection.

Five friends of ours showed up. The IBO’s pounced on them thinking they’d get some good sales. One of our friends actually purchased a few products. The pity purchaser who only bought the items to help out Ambot. Decent sale too over $100. I don’t recall the actual amount. May have been closer to $200.

Now here’s the crazy part. Our friend was the only person who purchased anything that day. Out of all the IBO’s there Ambot had the only sale. At the meeting at the end of the day when we were packing up the Platinum berated the group on the lack of sales. Now here’s where you’d think the pompous sack of shit would have some kind words for Ambot because his friend made purchases. Nope. He tore into Ambot saying he had five friends show up and only one of them bought something. I mean really laid into him about how those weren’t real friends because they didn’t support his business and about his general lack of success even though he was the only IBO who made a sale that day. After the verbal lashing ended, like the good cult leader he is, he assured Ambot that they still loved him and they would always be his only true friends unlike the phoney friends who don’t support his business.

Despite all those proclaims of never-ending love and friendship, when Ambot stopped going to Amway meetings and buying products those phonies cut off their love and friendship. Boo hoo. I can’t tell you how much it breaks my heart that those liars don’t want anything to do with us anymore.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

101 More Ways to Piss off an IBO

Had so much fun with the original post that I had to carry it through with a little help from some of the people who left comments

           
  1. Are you one of those assholes that sells Amway shit?
  2. How does your wife feel about you being in Amway?
  3. How much time do your children spend with babysitters and daycare because you’re too busy with your Amway business to spend any time with them?
  4. How much debt have you gone into because of Amway?
  5. Does your upline ever give you money?
  6. Did some half wit Platinum give you a piece of his mind and you held on to it?
  7. You’ve got to pay to attend seminars so Amway can teach you how to be a commissioned salesperson? Don’t most companies provide free training?
  8. How do your upline Diamonds split the profits from the tool scam money?
  9. What’s  it like having everyone laugh at you when you say you’re in Amway?
  10. You seem awfully consumed by an unnatural desire for materialistic things.
  11. If it's really your own business, then why does your upline control more of your life than my boss does at my J.O.B.?
  12. If I’m the broke loser, how come I own my house outright while you are begging family for money to avoid foreclosure?
  13. If your Amway upline Diamond asked you to drink a glass of Kool-Aid, would you do it without question? Even if his name was Jim Jones?
  14. Does it bother you that the “fake it til you make it” quote sounds like an old bedroom joke?
  15. What proof do you have that 95% of the population is dead or broke by age 65?
  16. How fast did you lose your friends thanks to Amway?
  17. When my childhood friend told me there really wasn't a Santa Claus or Easter Bunny, was he being a dream-stealer or just telling the truth?
  18. Who do you like better? Ken or Barbie?
  19. Amway IBO’s are lowlife scumsucking bastards.
  20. I couldn’t possibly join your Amway scam. I’m not a liar.
  21. It’ll cost me an extra $50 a month to have an Amway web page?
  22. Does it make you feel superior to others when you sneer at them for having a job?
  23. I’m a compassionate human being who cares about others. You’re an Amway ambot.
  24. I was watching the Stepford Wives last night and I thought about you.
  25. Where are the other 2 stooges?
  26. Are you always this stupid or are you just quoting your Amway upline?
  27. Why do people in Amway have such a low opinion of others?
  28. You want to show my a board plan? I’m busy now. Can you come back and bore me some other time? Like twenty years from now.
  29. You’re in Amway? You must have some obscene desire to have people hate you.
  30. Go ahead and tell me everything that’s good about Amway. Oh you’re second is up!
  31. Look up idiot in the dictionary. The definition is people who are involved in Amway.
  32. You never used to be this stupid until you got involved in Amway.
  33. Don’t feel bad. A lot of people get scammed into Amway.
  34. Are all ambots a big an asshole as you or are you just making a big effort today?
  35. You’re living proof that people in Amway are brainwashed.
  36. I used to think you were a pain in the ass but now that you’re involved in Amway my opinion of you has lowered.
  37. I would ask how much money you make in Amway but I know you’re going to lie to me.
  38. You don’t want to talk to me. I’m the dreaded dream stealer!
  39. What do you mean I’m fat and should go on the Amway Trim diet plan? You’re a fucking inconsiderate Amway bastard. At least I can lose weight.
  40. Don’t you ever get tired of being an ambot asshole?
  41. You sound like you’re possessed by a sack of shit Platinum.
  42. I’ve come across Satan worshippers who are less offensive than you Amway ambots.
  43. What makes an ambot tick? I sure hope its a bomb!
  44. Is your family happy that you don’t come home at night because you’re at Amway meetings?
  45. You used to be a nice person. Then you joined Amway.
  46. You say you’ll go far one day thanks to Amway? Why don’t you go far right now and stay there?
  47. Must you leave so soon? I was about to put cyanide in the XS.
  48. You’re in Amway? Is there medication for that?
  49. Thanks for pointing out that I have a J.O.B.
  50. You signed up with Amway? You’re as dumb as you look.
  51. We all sprang from apes but you ambots didn’t spring far enough.
  52. The only skill you’ll ever get from being in Amway is the art of being rude and obnoxious.
  53. Don’t you have a night owl to run off to?
  54. I don’t know what makes you Amway ambots so dumb but whatever it is really works.
  55. If jobs are so bad why do you think people have them?
  56. I thought people who joined Amway did it to avoid spending time with their families.
  57. I’m out of my mind because I won’t join Amway? At least I’ve still got one.
  58. I might have a shitty job but anything’s better than being an ambot.
  59. Why are you pretending to talk into your cell phone?
  60. I’ve had enough of hearing about how awesome Amway is. No pyramid scheme is awesome.
  61. If you ambots find it hard to laugh at yourselves the rest of us will do it for you.
  62. Oh shit. The fuck up ambot is visiting again!
  63. When can I come to an Amway board plan? How about never. Works for me!
  64. Don’t you have an Amway cult leader you need to run off to and worship?
  65. You wanna hear my dreams? It involves duct taping your mouth.
  66. What am I? An ambot magnet?
  67. Yes, as a matter of fact, I am a Satanist. My daddy!
  68. Why are you ambots the biggest bunch of dumb asses around?
  69. You’re starting to make sense. Go back and get more instructions from your Amway cult leader.
  70. If I join Amway I have to be all nicey nice to everyone? Do I look like a fucking people person?
  71. I used to be in Amway. I started out with nothing and I ended up with even less.
  72. The only ambots who aren’t as annoying as you are already dead.
  73. I’m trying to imagine how you’d be if you weren’t a brainwashed ambot.
  74. Amway’s got too many freaks.
  75. If I throw a stick will you leave?
  76. You ambots are not as bad as people say. You are worse!
  77. Are you brain dead?
  78. You’re not as obnoxious as other people. Thanks to Amway you’re obnoxious in a different and worst way.
  79. Calling you ambots stupid would be an insult to stupid people!
  80. Why are you ambots so devoted to spreading brainwashed bullshit?
  81. Don’t you realize there’s enough hate in this world without you ambots giving us more reasons?
  82. Ever since you became an ambot you have more faces than Sybil!
  83. How did you get ambots get here? Who left the cage open?
  84. How can you tell when an Amway IBO is lying? His lips are moving!
  85. I can’t talk to you right now. Tell me where you’ll be in 2 to 5 years.
  86. I heard what you said. I just don’t give a flying fuck.
  87. I’d rather pass a kidney stone than go to an Amway meeting with you.
  88. If I want any more shit out of you should I just go ahead and squeeze your head?
  89. As an Amway ambot your mission in life is to make everyone hate you.
  90. Why do I have to pay admission to listen to a bunch of brainwashed ambots?
  91. You ambots need to learn from your parent’s mistakes. Use birth control!
  92. Obviously you’ve mistaken me for someone who gives a shit about Amway.
  93. What do you mean Perfect Water came from the Fountain of Knowledge?
  94. Talk is cheap but those Amway products sure aren’t.
  95. They just invented a new coffin for Amway IBO’s that just goes over the head. It's for ambots who are dead from the neck up.
  96. What you ambots lack in intelligence you more than make up for in stupidity.
  97. When you die, I'd like to go to your Amway funeral but I'll probably have to go to work that day. I believe in business before pleasure.
  98. You Amway IBO’s are about as useful as a windshield wiper on a rabbit’s ass.
  99. You ambots are living proof that shit can grow legs and walk.
  100. Everyone hates you Amway IBO’s so much that when you walk into a Taco Bell everyone inside runs for the border.
  101. You Amway IBO’s start at the bottom of the pyramid and then its all downhill from there.

I had more ways to piss off an IBO but once again I forced myself to stop when I hit 101! Ha ha!

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Amway Vampires Sucking the Money Out of Us



Halloween is coming up so it seems a good time to talk about vampires.

Amway vampires that is.

Vile creatures of the night the Amway vampires congregate at 8pm to worship their cult leader and hear their tales of greed. After 11pm, after midnight, into the early morning hours the Amway vampires are learning how to suck money out of their victims. They’re learning how to destroy relationships of any cult followers who have family and friends who are not “onboard with Amway”. The cult leaders chant familiar phrases. “People who are not in Amway are stupid. They’re losers. They’re negative unchristian dream stealers. Stay away from anyone not involved in Amway because they do not have your best interests in mind like we do. We love you.” The more tired the cult followers the easier it is to  brainwash them. Another familiar mantra: “Buy more tools. Buy more Amway products. That is the secret to your financial freedom. FREEDOM! Flush that stinking job!”

For people like myself who venture out into a moonless night into the grim dungeon of horrors of an Amway meeting it seems like we are caught in hell. No friends. No money. No hope. No future. Only despicable Amway vampires who want to destroy us. We look out the window into the dark night where a few stars twinkle in the sky, as unreachable and untouchable as the Amway promise of spending ten to fifteen hours a week for the next two to five years and bless the Amway gods with thousands of dollars of our money and we will be rewarded with residual income rolling in forever while we walk the beaches of the world and hang out with Diamonds on Peter Island. Coyotes howl in the distance. Something smells really bad in this room. The unmistakeable stench of Amway vampire B.O. and some son of a bitch Amway vampire is drinking XS piss water.

We want to leave but we can’t just get up and go and abandon the person we arrived with. Trapped! Finally the Amway cult leader shuts up and we can get out of this hell hole. “Why are you leaving so soon?” An Amway vampire taunts us. “Fuck you. Its one in the morning. Not everyone around here keeps witching hours.” The Amway vampire hisses and sneers “Guess you got a J.O.B. to get to in the morning.”

There’s just something about these Amway creatures of the night that makes you want to run and hide. Turn the lights on. Get away from these demons!

Amway vampires and their greedy goals. Amway vampires and the their evil intentions of sucking the money out of us. Sucking the life out of us. Someone ought to put a stake through the hearts of Amway vampires except that they don’t have any.

Oh yeah. One more time I’d like to send a big old fuck you out to my upline.