Sunday, March 25, 2012

8 Things You Shouldn’t Do If You’re An Amway Ambot

Well there’s a whole lot more than eight things an ambot shouldn’t do but I saw this article titled 8 Things You Shouldn’t Do At Work and decided to find a way to make it apply to Amway ambots. Except that ambots will never follow these guidelines because they’re a bunch of arrogant assholes who think they’re better than everyone else because they’re in Amway. Being polite, respectful, and courteous to others does not apply when you’re in the Amway cult.

  1. Talking too loudly on the phone - Yup all those rotten lousy ambots full of self importance at being a “business owner” have a phone plastered to their ear EVERYWHERE yapping away loudly so everyone around them can tell how “important” they are doing business on their cell phone. Get a clue you fucking ambots! Nobody wants to listen to your side of the conversation! Go somewhere else and pretend to be big shot dicks!
  2. Listening to loud music or videos - AAACCCKKKK!!!!! I could just scream whenever my Ambot or another ambot insisted on sticking a CD into the car’s player or their portable unit and crank up the volume! FUCK!!!!! Turn off that fucking piece of shit! The rest of us who aren’t brainwashed ambots don’t give a shit about what that fucking Diamond has to say! Where’s the sledge hammer??????
  3. Messing up the (kitchen) auditorium -  Ambots are slobs! Every Scamway meeting we attended the ambots would bring overpriced snacks - XS cat piss drink, (not)Perfect Water, and shitty food bars. They’d leave their trash on the floor under the seats when they leave. Is it so difficult to pick up your fucking Amway trash and carry it outside to the nearest garbage can? Fucking ambots with a sense of entitlement - Oh the arena has hired a janitor to pick up after us. I’ll give you a little message from that janitor. “Fuck you ambot slobs!”
  4. Bringing your kids into the office too much - I had trouble with this one until I read down and article substituted kids with spouse or friends. So lets just go with:
    • Bringing your wife to Amway meetings too much - especially when your wife don’t want to be there. Nobody wants to watch their significant other being brainwashed into a cult and watch their bank account dwindle and their debt increase. Leave her at home or there will be hell to pay somewhere down the road!
  5. Crowding everyone’s inbox - Everyone in our World Wide Destructive Bastards line had to sign up for a Yahoo Group account so the cult leaders could send messages. Yeah like we don’t get enough junk and spam showing up in our inbox without Amway’s fucking cult leaders adding to it. Same thing with text messages. Never ending deluge!
  6. Being a Debbie Downer? - what the fuck I’ve never heard that term before. Bottom line it means someone negative. Ambots are the most negative people I know. Always going around predicting doom and gloom. This business and that business and the other business are all closing down, going bankrupt, whatever. Everyone will be dead or broke by the time they’re 65 - except of course for Amway ambots.
  7. Texting in the elevator - Or texting anywhere else! Those fucking Amway ambots always got their cell phones either on a car or texting trying to look big and important. Fucking morons! Those texts from the upline go on late in the evening often the wee hours of the morning and then start up again around 6am. Mostly our sack of shit Platinum. Fuck you asshole just because you drank a bunch of XS piss water and can’t sleep get off your fucking phone and give us a break!
  8. Dressing Inappropriately - what’s with this wearing a business suit to a BBQ? What’s this with wearing a business suit at night? What’s this with wearing a business suit to a cult meeting? Those fucking Amway ambots can’t figure it out that people can dress casually and comfortably and not look like slobs. Its not all about the suit! Its all about the control issue when you’re being brainwashed by a cult. Wear a fucking suit cause I said so and I’m your cult leader so you better fucking listen to me!!!!
No ambot will ever follow these guidelines. Ambots have their heads so far up their asses that they don’t see how everyone looks at them as a bunch of arrogant obnoxious assholes.

And the one thing you should do when you are no longer in the Amway cult? Apologize to everyone you treated badly because they would not support your phony business in the Amway pyramid scheme. Apologizing to everyone who you pissed off with the above 8 points is a good start.


  1. I'm in a business group which also features a scamway ibo. Because the rules of the group forbid solicitation of new ibos he behaves and concentrates on product sales. I am an attorney. Last week when I did my one minute "commercial" for my business I touted the fact that unless I am at court I never wear a suit, because I let substance control over style. I then went on to remind the group how successful my approach was and how much clients appreciated my earnestness. Judging from his expression, I think the ambot died a little inside that day.

    1. Anonymous - when we were in Amway we were told to find business groups to join and try to prospect the people because they were already entrepreneur minded and would be open to learning about this awesome business activity. Sure enough my husband found one to join and we got together with them a few times. Fortunately he never brought up the Amway thing which was ultimately his goal but everyone there knew about our real business. I think the rule for these types of groups should be no MLM pitches allowed.

      My lawyer grew up across the street from me, old family friends. I used him a couple of times when we were selling a house and he was always wearing jeans when we went to his office. I'm sure he probably wore suits if he had to go to court. He's gone back to his first love of sailing and giving sailing lessons darn him anyway because I want to update my will sometime this year!

    2. Usually there is a rule to that effect. For example, BNI (which ironically some crticize as a pyramid) has a strict "no MLM solicitation" rule. Its kinda funny watching MLMers in the group to try and contort their marketing into a single-level method.

  2. Haha who wears a suit and tie to a bbq!? Thats pretty stupid. Bbq stains happen. Also serving crappy amway chips and salsa may be hazardous to your health. May result in somebody getting the shit slapped outta them!

    1. No kidding! We were BBQ'ing burgers at our house and Ambot invited some of the assholes in his upline and 3 of them they showed up in suits. Its Saturday afternoon. Everyone else we invited is wearing shorts and short sleeved shirts and Ambot is gushing all over them. Should have squirted some mustard on their suits! Oopsie!

      Ambots would definitely be serving their shitty chips and salsa! Not us. I went to Costco and stocked up on normal BBQ food, cake, and pop.

  3. I couldn't stop laughing reading this. My boyfriends family is recently into the Amway business. They used to be homely people but now its all about MONEY, MONEY, MONEY. Constantly i have to listen to the Diamond speakers in the car, and again its all about MONEY, MONEY, MONEY. I miss the family where it was love instead of MONEY. They even tried to get ME into the business....I know they are brainwashed and long gone now. Oh, well.


Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!

If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:
1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.
2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.
3. Naming names? Public figures like politicians and actors and people known in Amway are probably OK – the owners, Diamonds with CDs or who speak at functions, people in Amway’s publicity department who write press releases and blogs. Its humiliating for people to admit their association with Amway so respect their privacy if they’re not out there telling everyone about the love of their life.
4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.
5. Posting something creepy anonymously and we can’t track your location because you’re on a mobile device or using hide my ass or some other proxy. I attracted an obsessed fan and one of my blog administrators attracted a cyberstalker. Lets keep it safe for everyone. Anonymous is OK. Creepy anonymous and hiding – go fuck yourselves!
6. Posting something that serves no purpose other than to cause fighting.
7. Posting bullshit Amway propaganda. We might publish that comment to make fun of you. Otherwise take your agenda somewhere else. Not interested.
8. Notice how this blog is written in English? That's our language so keep your comments in English too. If you leave a comment written in another language then we either have to use Google translate to put it into English so everyone can understand what you wrote or we can hit the Delete button. Guess which one is easier for us to do?
9. We suspect you're a troublemaking Amway asshole.
10. Your comment got caught in the spam filter. Gets checked occasionally. We’ll get to you eventually and approve it as long as it really isn’t spam.