Thursday, April 5, 2012

Things to do in Calgary Alberta instead of WWDB Amway Spring Leadership 2012

Amway WWDB will be holding Spring Leadership in Calgary Alberta on May 5 and 6 2012 at the Calgary Exhibition & Stampede.

Keeping with my theme of finding better things to do than spend $125 for a ticket to World Wide Dream Builders Spring Leadership 2012 going to an Amway function to get brainwashed.

Calgary was nearly as tough a town to find things to do as Spokane was. Not too many attractions that aren’t seasonal or out of town. It looks like Calgary has parks and festivals and rodeos but with time constraints, none that are happening May 5 and 6 2012.

Believe it or not Anna Banana actually sort of knows where Calgary is. One of my friends from L.A. moved to Saskatchewan years ago. Sometime in the late 90’s Ambot and I drove up to visit her and her husband. Pretty easy to get there. Get on I-5 and head north that goes all the way to the Washington British Columbia border. Then there’s another highway I think it was called the Canada Highway and it goes all the way east across Canada to the Atlantic ocean. So that was the highway we were on and it drives right through Calgary. We did not stop. Nothing there that looked of interest to us. I have a couple of vague memories of driving through Alberta besides not stopping in Calgary. First off every radio station plays country music. Didn’t bother me too much because I like all kinds of music but Ambot was really bitchy about the music selection. Also all they do on the radio is talk about Albertan schnooks. Yeah OK. Well all I do here is talk about ambots!

Hey - who would pay to see a fight between an Albertan ambot and an Albertan schnook? Ha ha!

Calgary Tower - Its open daily 9am to 9pm. The description says from the top you can see the city, the Rockies, and the prairies. Sounds a little dull to me. Tickets cost $15.24. What the fuck kind of price is that? Why not $15 or $16 or $15.25? Normally I would say different prices for different age groups but these prices are so fucking bizarre I have to put them down.. Over 65 years $13.33. Between 13 and 17 $10.48. Ages 4 to 12 $6.67. Then you got to put 5% tax on top of that. What the fuck are they charging tax on something like this? Its not like its an actual product. You get on an elevator ride up and look at the city and the prairie? I couldn’t find any twofer coupons. At least in Las Vegas the two towers cost about the same price but has 2 for 1 coupons everywhere so $15 for 2 people is a better deal. Go to Spring Leadership in Las Vegas as long as you’re not actually attending the Amway brainwash conference. The view from their towers is a lot more interesting!

The Calgary Zoo.  Yup, I have found yet another zoo in a city where Amway WWDB is holding Spring Leadership! The zoo here costs a few bucks more than other city zoos at $21. Maybe it costs more to feed animals in Canada? Lower prices for different age groups. At least they don’t have the bizarre penny pincher pricing at the zoo that the tower has. But they still want to charge you tax on top of it.

Glenbow Museum.  Some people on Trip Advisor say its a nice museum. Costs $14, slightly less for other age groups. At least this one includes the tax in your admission! I’d still go to the zoo over the museum.

Big Rock Brewery - Seeing as how I’ve found other beer breweries in other towns offering free tours and tasting I decided to check this one out. First thing I found out is they want you to cough up $25 for tour and tasting! Holy shit! Did they hear a bunch of ambots were going to be in town and decide to rip them off seeing as how they’re already used to being ripped off by Amway? So I’d say give this stinker a pass and stick with where you can get the freebie beer tours and tasting. But the name intrigued me. Did this Albertan schnook have a big rock in his yard he had to figure out what to do with? The website gave a little more info and apparently there’s this big rock out in a field a few miles south of Calgary that was deposited there by a glacier and people go out there and look at it. Yup. Life doesn’t get much more exciting in Alberta than driving around looking for rocks out in fields!

No offense to anyone from Calgary but it looks like the biggest hit with tourists would be the highway heading out of town!

If you’re married to an ambot try to steer him to Honolulu or Las Vegas for Spring Leadership where at least you’ll have stuff to do while he’s out being brainwashed by the cult leaders.

Amway sucks!

WWDB sucks!

Spring Leadership sucks!

Finding stuff to do in Calgary instead of going to Spring Leadership sucks!

Ha ha. I am such a city girl!

12 comments:

  1. Heck, running up a $125 bar tab is better than a function. LOL

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  2. Calgary is close to west Edmonton mall. The worlds largest shopping mall. I love shopping

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    1. Colin - who told you that? An ambot? An Albertan schnook? A quick internet search of the world's largest shopping mall will give you the real answer. I don't know whether you're referring to square footage or actual retail shops but either way the edmonton mall is only a third to half the size of some of the real big shopping malls in the world. Edmonton mall is in the top 10 so one could say its the largest mall in Canada seeing as how no other malls in Canada were listed! Whatever. You've just confirmed the best thing about Calgary is the road leading out of town! And if the best thing all of Alberta has to offer is a big shopping mall that's pretty sad. Not to mention boring.

      So what's more boring? Going to the mall or driving around looking for rocks in fields? Maybe that's how Amway reels in Albertan ambots?

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  3. Calgary prices are a bit up there because it's a fairly wealthy city due to the oil & gas industry. There are many self made millionaires around the area and others who also make significant incomes in that sector.

    Far more millionaires in Calgary alone than in all of Amway I'll betcha.

    West Ed is OK, not for me, but it is OK. The guy who owns the Expeditions of Truth blog is from Edmonton, but I'm sure there's like 3 or 4 functions he has to go to, so he likely wouldn't be a good tour guide.

    Or else he's busy out at an arena somewhere with a table set up to sell Amway products.....Sounds like a good time.

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    Replies
    1. Rocket - I'm not much of a mall person unless there is something in particular I have to buy at one of the stores and I know what I'm going in to get. I wouldn't just drive to a mall - no matter how big it is - and walk around and hang out and hope I get inspired to buy something. Most ambots are probably hitting several Spring Leaderships. The problem with the one in Calgary is its the same weekend as Minneapolis Spring Leadership so a lot of ambots are going to be freaking out and trying to choose. Let me make it easier on them. Choose Minneapolis!

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  4. PS It's a chinook. Google it.

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  5. Anna: I've been to Calgary and the Glenbow museum is excellent. Also the tower was a lot of fun too.

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    1. Connie - all I know was the Glenbow Museum got a lot of high marks from people on Trip Advisor! Never been there myself. Have no need to travel to Calgary and my research didn't bring up any reason I'd want to go there either.

      Oh come on, you been up one tower you been up them all! The only "fun" tower would be the Stratosphere in Las Vegas and that's because people bungee off that one. Yeah! Sign me up!

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    2. Really, the tower in Calgary has spots where the floor is glass. Yep! You can look straight down to the ground. For someone with kinda a fear of heights, this is a big adrenaline rush. I loved it!

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    3. If you want to look through glass I'd rather go to the Grand Canyon Skywalk. I haven't been on it but I hear its a real rip off mostly due to the motorcoaches that have to transport visitors from the parking lot to the skywalk. What? Some former ambots run it? Of course its only got interesting since the indians siezed it a couple of months ago. Must have learned something from Alcatraz!

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