Monday, December 28, 2015

A Pyramid Of Amway Ambots

I heard a phrase on TV that I’m pretty sure said pyramid of friends. I didn’t pay much attention to how the phrase was used. All I heard was pyramid and immediately thought Amway and I heard friends and I thought of those phoney fake Amway bastards that are your immediate friends when you sign up with the Amway cult and after you quit you never see those Amway assholes again. YAY!!!!!! They’re only friends as long as they can make money off you. Once the money dries up those fickle Amway bastards aren’t your friends anymore. Well they weren’t really your friends to begin with anyway.

If anyone has ever wasted their time at an Amway meeting they know the Amway cult leaders got a chalk board and draw a bunch of circles. One circle at the top is you and then they draw a couple of sticks and circles below that and say those are the people you sign up for Amway and they duplicate what you do and drink one Amway beverage and eat one Amway food bar daily. But usually they draw 6 circles because everyone should be able to find 6 people HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Even though they’re circles they’re still drawn to look like a pyramid with you, the lowly Amway ambot at the top and your little empire of brainwashed ambots beneath you. And you earn gazillions of dollars every month because all these ambots further down the pyramid are making millions of dollars in sales.

Here’s the reality. New brainwashed gaga ambot is unlikely to find one sucker to sign up to the Amway scam let alone 2 or 6. The other reality is that the new ambot is down at the bottom of the pyramid with a bunch of other little worker bee Amway ambots. These are the guys who have enough savings or room on their credit card so they can buy hundreds of dollars of Amway products every month to impress the assholes in their Amway upline about how much “business” they have. Dumb fucks taking the whole buy from your own store bullshit overly seriously. The next level of the Amway pyramid will be the fucking assholes that sponsored the one ambot into the scam. They make a little commission off any sales the moron in their downline buys off Amway. And it keeps going up the pyramid like that. Everyone makes a little commission off those Amway ambots below them. As you go higher up the Amway pyramid these dumb fuck ambots get these fucking stupid names like Fucked Up Eagle, Double Fucked Up Eagle, Sack of Shit Platinum, Double Fucked Up Sack of Shit Platinum, Rip Off Ruby, Emerald Bastard, Fucking Diamond, Double Fucked Up Executive Diamond. There are less people on each upper level pissing on the Amway ambots lower than them on each level of the Amway pyramid. But with each level higher up on the pyramid the Amway assholes are likely making more money than the Amway ambots lower down than them. When you reach an Emerald level on the pyramid which is pretty high up there and you probably have close to 1000 people below you on the pyramid that ambot can expect to earn around $2,000 to $3,000/month. This is according to books and Youtube videos of former Amway Emeralds who disclosed how much they really made. Even though at Amway meetings the cult leaders claim Emeralds make around $125,000/year, that’s not true according to former Emeralds with 1000 ambots in their downline. Its closer to $30,000/year. Amway ambots need to do the math. An Emerald is considered king when it comes to Amway ambots. Heres the person where the lowly ambots are expected to suck dick and kiss ass and with 1000 little worker bee Amway ambots below him he’s only making $30,000/year well that’s just fucked up. Who knows 1000 people?

A little higher up on the Amway pyramid are the Diamonds and according to Amway’s literature they make around $150,000/year. A much more decent income than Emeralds make but how many people below them on the pyramid did they have to steal money from and lie and treat like shit. To get to this level you can’t have any conscience and morals mean piss all to you. At this level there is profit sharing in the Amway tool scam and its possible to make more money from selling tickets to Amway ambots further down the pyramid to come hear you speak. Who wants to pay money to hear some fucked up Amway asshole speak? Save that money and go to the movies or a rock concert instead. But even these hallowed cocksuckers aren’t at the top of the Amway pyramid. There’s other Diamonds who have executive titles and who run various Amway cult sects. These are the ones making the real money and dictating how much money the bastards lower down the Amway pyramid make.

And who is on the top of the Amway pyramid? Well that would be the owners of the company or their heirs. That’s where the real money in Amway is. Signing up suckers to their expensive buyers club and selling generic and substandard products at overinflated prices. They can’t get away with that in the real marketplace in drugstores and grocery stores because everyone would buy from their lower priced/better quality competitors. So the owners have to create an exclusive buying club and hire cult leaders who can brainwash these fuckers into believing that they own their own business and they’re paying more money and getting higher quality products and these things mean they’re better than everyone else in the world.

That’s the Amway ambot pyramid. It constantly crumbles away from the bottom because people come to their senses and realize they’re losing money and they’ve been brainwashed by a cult and they quit so the Ambots higher up on the Amway pyramid must constantly replenish the stock and patch up the pyramid and find more suckers to join their cult.

Stay away from the Amway pyramid scheme. That’s the worst pyramid in the world to try to climb. Wanna climb a pyramid? Go to Egypt or the Yucatan. It’ll be much cheaper than climbing the Amway pyramid.


  1. I have to laugh at all of those absurd gemstone and precious metal "titles" -- "Ruby," "Emerald," "Sapphire," "Diamond," "Platinum." How utterly corny can you get? It reminds me of that comic title of the head of Ralph Kramden's Raccoon lodge on the old "Honeymooners" TV show: "The Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler, Emperor of All Raccoondom."

    When you have to call yourself a "Diamond," it's pretty clear that deep down you're just a zircon.

    1. Anonymous - those dumb fuck Amway "prestige" jewel titles are as hilarious as the Honeymooners raccoon lodge skit. Anyway you slice it they're still Amway losers.

  2. I just don't understand how people can be so stupid in joining these things. It says on Amway's OWN reference guide that the gross average income of ALL IBO's are $153. AVERAGE. Meaning MOST of you are making $153 GROSS AVERAGE. Take into account all the money you spend on books, functions, meetings, voicemails, product, time lost that you can spend on other things, etc, and that $153 does nothing for you. Let's say you're a 1-in-a-million IBO and you do 3 times better than the AVERAGE IBO. You're only making $459 a month GROSS, NOT NET, which is still less than minimum wage working 15 hours a week. Even if you put 3 times more the effort of the AVERAGE IBO, you're still making less than minimum wage. How can anybody be that stupid?!?

    Great post though, your description of the stupid Amway level names had me laughing for a bit haha.


    1. Twiggy - people get blinded by the Amway cult leaders feeding them the get rich quick bullshit and usually these people sound very convincing and are probably some of Amway's best damn closers. Just think how much money they'd make if these same people sold cars or time shares.

      So the $115/month has gone up on the Scamway literature to $153 now? They've updated their 2001 literature? LOL! And as you said that's gross though I don't know anyone who made that much commission off Amway in a month except maybe the sack of shit Platinum but he never opened his books to us. The net for Ambots is a loss usually close to $1000/month net loss. But what you'll hear taught at Scamway meetings is the way to make money in Amway is from your tax refund. Ambots are supposed to deduct EVERYTHING Amway against the income from their real job to get a refund and make money in Amway. Maybe the average Ambot makes $1500 tax refund and Amway is using those dollar amounts averaged out by the month? Who knows what those scammers are pulling off. Unfortunately for Ambots Uncle Sam isn't too happy about the way to make money in Amway and can you say audit.

    2. Some Amway actually brag about their tax refunds due to Amway business expenses until I point out that they must have had losses in order to get a refund. If they actually made more money, they would be paying taxes.

    3. Joecool - my husband was memorized at Amway meetings when he heard he could actually get a tax refund. We pay taxes every year so a refund would be a novelty. Until I point out basic business concept about paying taxes. If business is bad and there are more expenses than income then a refund is likely coming. If business is going great and there's more income than expenses to be written off then that means paying taxes on that income. This is why we have an accountant to try to figure out how much expenses we can claim and lower the income we must pay taxes on. My biggest worry a few weeks ago when I met with my bank was that there's not enough money in our tax account and if I should transfer another $5000 in there just to be safe. My banker says check with my accountant who tells me we're good and no need to transfer any just in case money into that account. These are the types of conversations that grown ups who run real businesses have with professionals who give them real business advice. You won't see any Amway losers getting professional advice like that. All they'll do is brag about how good business is and how big their tax refund is after they write off everything Amway.


Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!

If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:
1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.
2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.
3. Naming names? Public figures like politicians and actors and people known in Amway are probably OK – the owners, Diamonds with CDs or who speak at functions, people in Amway’s publicity department who write press releases and blogs. Its humiliating for people to admit their association with Amway so respect their privacy if they’re not out there telling everyone about the love of their life.
4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.
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