Monday, December 11, 2017

NEVER Buy Amway Christmas Tree!

Some ambot showed up here searching for how to buy a Christmas tree from Amway.

My first thought is why the hell would you want to do that?

Then I got to wondering are these artificial trees or real trees?

Either way if Amway is selling them they have got to cost a bundle!

Then I got to thinking what a great idea to screw up somebody’s search criteria by ending up at this blog yet again! Oh Christmas Tree, oh Amway Christmas Tree, how shitty to have you in my house!

Probably IBOFB or some other fucking Amway loser will show up to say that Amway has partnered with some farmer in Vermont to buy Christmas trees of his farm for $500 each. Plus shipping! Just like that motherfucker told us about that market Amway is affiliated with where we can buy 3 pounds of potatoes for $12.95 plus the cost of shipping to our house. Now there’s a shitty deal! Bought 10lbs of potatoes for $2 the other day from a nearby retailer not out to fuck over their customers.

No matter who is selling Christmas trees they’re going to be a real joy to ship and probably cost a few bucks. Cheaper to buy locally.

If its an artificial Christmas tree there is plenty of mail order competition for that one. I’ve seen artificial trees for sale on eBay, JC Penny, Walmart, etc. You buy them and they’re shipped to your house.

So I did a Google search for buying a live Christmas tree to have shipped to your house and was surprised to find such beasts do exist! They cost more than going to your Christmas tree lot but not all that much more. I couldn’t find how much to ship the suckers though. I wouldn’t want to be the guy having to sweep out his UPS truck after delivering one. Pine needles everywhere!

There are enough nurseries and organizations selling live Christmas trees where you can go and pick out one that you like rather than waiting for the UPS to deliver an overpriced Christmas tree that shows up with smushed branches and missing foliage and an unfortunate decomposing odor.
The entire notion of buying a Christmas tree from Amway, sight unseen, for an exorbitant price, is laughable. But then again, if persons in Amway are stupid enough to buy overpriced Nutrilite vitamins and crummy cosmetics, they're probably dumb enough to buy a Christmas tree from the company.

Just say hell no to Amway Christmas trees! No overpriced Amway Christmas trees allowed in the house! No shitty overpriced Amway products allowed under our tree!


  1. Amway up-line is always trying to be the middleman. They will purchase something cheaply from a distant and untrustworthy source, jack up the price by 500 percent, and then push it on IBOs as "something of quality, like all Amway products."

    One big difference is that ordinary middlemen have to convince customers to buy their products. But Amway up-line doesn't. All they have to do is browbeat and shame IBOs into purchasing the damned thing, because it is "necessary for your business." And a lot of stupid Amway IBOs go along with this.

    I can just hear some asshole Platinum going on about it: "This Christmas tree is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for you! If you buy it you'll be six months ahead of those who don't! You'll become a big pin sooner! It's an essential business expense!"

    1. Anonymous - that's what being a low paid commissioned sales rep in Amway is all about. Being the middleman. Let's see Amway cut out all their loser middlemen and just rely on Internet sales. They'd be out of business in no time!

  2. Well, a Christmas tree does sort of look like a pyramid, so I suppose it makes sense. :)

    1. Yeah it does. With an Amway cult leader at the top. Get it? A devil instead of an angel!


Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!

If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:
1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.
2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.
3. Naming names? Public figures like politicians and actors and people known in Amway are probably OK – the owners, Diamonds with CDs or who speak at functions, people in Amway’s publicity department who write press releases and blogs. Its humiliating for people to admit their association with Amway so respect their privacy if they’re not out there telling everyone about the love of their life.
4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.
5. Posting something creepy anonymously and we can’t track your location because you’re on a mobile device or using hide my ass or some other proxy. I attracted an obsessed fan and one of my blog administrators attracted a cyberstalker. Lets keep it safe for everyone. Anonymous is OK. Creepy anonymous and hiding – go fuck yourselves!
6. Posting something that serves no purpose other than to cause fighting.
7. Posting bullshit Amway propaganda. We might publish that comment to make fun of you. Otherwise take your agenda somewhere else. Not interested.
8. Notice how this blog is written in English? That's our language so keep your comments in English too. If you leave a comment written in another language then we either have to use Google translate to put it into English so everyone can understand what you wrote or we can hit the Delete button. Guess which one is easier for us to do?
9. We suspect you're a troublemaking Amway asshole.
10. Your comment got caught in the spam filter. Gets checked occasionally. We’ll get to you eventually and approve it as long as it really isn’t spam.