Sunday, January 30, 2011

Driving all over Town and Outlying Areas

During Round 1 of Amway and WWDB our upline Platinum was a nasty bitch. I didn’t like her at all. Back then - 2000 or 2001 - we had to phone in or drop off our orders both for products and tools and then show up once a week at her house - about ten or fifteen minute drive away - to pick them up. She usually had her act together. If nothing else the shrewd bitch was organized. Not organized enough to stop herself from falling out of Platinum qualification but she’s still in Amway after all these years.

In Round 2 of Amway and WWDB orders were placed on the Internet and delivered to our house. Our sack of shit Platinum would rant at us during Amway meetings that we had it lucky. When he started in Amway he had to drive a couple of towns away to pick up the Amway order from his upline and then he spent hours delivering it all over the place. He said when his car broke down he had to take the bus - and undoubtedly a few helpers - to carry all the boxes. So the sack of shit would go on and on and on about the shit he went through in Amway to get him where he was. Uh, lets see. Was he under the false impression that I actually cared?

Every week we had to order tools - CDs and books - the more the better of course. I have no idea how the Platinum sack of shit received them. All I know is the upline Eagle picked them up from Platinum’s house rather late at night when he got off work and then we met him at Dunkin Donuts around 10pm or 10:30 to pick up our order. The donut shop was about halfway between our house and the Platinum’s house, about a 10 minute or so drive. It was a central location for the Eagle’s downline to show up and pick up their tools because most of them lived within a 15 minute drive and the Eagle lived way out in the boonies.

This went on for maybe a month. Then the Platinum heard about it. The fucking asshole went nutso! He screamed and shrieked and carried on as if someone had just committed murder! Holy shit it was amazing!

The Platinum ordered the Eagle to stop meeting downline at Dunkin Donuts. Who knows why? Maybe the fucker had shares in Krispy Kreme? He ordered all tools to be picked up at the Eagle’s house about an hour’s drive each way.

I was really pissed off. But then anytime that meddling sack of shit sticks his ass into anyone’s business it pisses me off. I pointed out to Ambot that this was really dumb. The Platinum sack of shit lives about a twenty minute drive from our house. The fucking Eagle is about an hour away. It would be quicker for us to go to the Platinum’s house and pick up those shitty tools that I didn’t want in the first place. Because I knew Ambot was going to plug one of those damned CD’s into the car’s stereo and crank up the volume so it would be like listening to one of those fire and brimstone sermons from a tent church the whole drive home. Add to the fact that the Eagle didn’t get home - and here its important to point out that he still lived with mommy and daddy even though he’s in his mid 20’s - until at least 10:30 at night. So we’re driving all over the countryside for a couple of hours late at night when I’d rather be getting ready for bed. We’ve got customers to deal with in the morning. What the fuck is Ambot thinking? I told him to cancel any further orders for tools. If we all stuck together and cancelled tool orders and refused to drive to the Eagle’s house to pick them up maybe we’d "get permission" to pick them up at a central location again. Like I had any chance of the other downline doing anything to disobey the Platinum.

Ambot had to be CORE and feed into the tool scam so his upline could get rich. He had to bust ass driving out of town late at night to pick up $10 worth of CD’s every week. It cost about that much in gas for a round trip drive. Not to mention our time. Why the hell didn’t he just wait another day to pick up the damned tools at the next night’s Amway meeting? After a few weeks Ambot had enough of the late night drives and he did pick up his CD’s and books from the Eagle the next time he saw him. They had to be sneaky about it though. You know - hiding them under their shirts!

And the point of this whole exercise? To teach us discipline. What? We’re in the armed forces maybe and that’s why we need discipline? We became responsible adults understanding discipline. Why the fuck do we need to keep learning about discipline because we’re in Amway?

Oh I forgot. The discipline thing is because we're in a cult. Its all about brainwashing the IBO’s and ordering them around to make sure they’re good little cult followers. Loyalty and obedience to the cult leader is the most important thing.

Like I really needed another reason to dislike the Platinum. Once again I send a big old fuck you out to that sack of shit.


  1. Your platinum probably didnt want his downline crosslining and communicating. A bunch of people at the donut place would start trashing the business.

  2. We could have either trashed it then or now! No this bunch of goody two shoes including Ambot would not have trashed the business. Sacrilege!

  3. The lengths one is forced to go to to prove one's loyalty is beyond sickening.

    And today's battle cry is, "but it's not like THAT anymore."

    uh huh

    You, my sad little IBO, believe your upline will listen to you advice and see the light.

    uh huh

    Golly, it's so much easier to build amway today. I guess we were all just poop heads.

    I'm having my morning oatmeal. Wonder how it would taste with a CASSETTE TAPE sprinkled in.

  4. Driving all over hell's half acre late at night to pick up tools probably is nowhere near as bad as what some IBO's had to go through to prove their loyalty. The only pleasure I get is the Eagle's mommy and daddy probably wanted to get to bed and their doorbell kept ringing until midnight with people coming and going.


Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!

If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:
1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.
2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.
3. Naming names? Public figures like politicians and actors and people known in Amway are probably OK – the owners, Diamonds with CDs or who speak at functions, people in Amway’s publicity department who write press releases and blogs. Its humiliating for people to admit their association with Amway so respect their privacy if they’re not out there telling everyone about the love of their life.
4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.
5. Posting something creepy anonymously and we can’t track your location because you’re on a mobile device or using hide my ass or some other proxy. I attracted an obsessed fan and one of my blog administrators attracted a cyberstalker. Lets keep it safe for everyone. Anonymous is OK. Creepy anonymous and hiding – go fuck yourselves!
6. Posting something that serves no purpose other than to cause fighting.
7. Posting bullshit Amway propaganda. We might publish that comment to make fun of you. Otherwise take your agenda somewhere else. Not interested.
8. Notice how this blog is written in English? That's our language so keep your comments in English too. If you leave a comment written in another language then we either have to use Google translate to put it into English so everyone can understand what you wrote or we can hit the Delete button. Guess which one is easier for us to do?
9. We suspect you're a troublemaking Amway asshole.
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