Amway Asshole Encounter

Today we’re having lunch at a restaurant. Ambot is all hunched over his cell phone with a text message. Really? While we’re in a restaurant? So I ask who he’s texting and peer over at the phone which he immediately hides from me. I keep asking who he’s texting and he finally says someone you don’t like. That could only be 2 people. The fucking asshole who sponsored us into Amway or the fucking asshole who sponsored our sponsor. There’s nobody else I don’t like. Well I don’t like no other Amway assholes from our time in their shithole cult but none have been in contact with us for a few years.

Shit! That means those fucking Amway assholes lied to us when they said they’d be our best friends forever! Boo hoo. I can’t tell you how much it breaks my heart that I don’t have to put up with Amway asshole friends any more!

So you know what this means whenever we have an upline Amway asshole encounter? Another expletive riddled blog about how our Amway upline are a bunch of assholes!

Our descent into the WWDB and Amway shithole was (no) thanks to Ambot’s friend Captain Fuck Up. Asshole ugly and arrogant prick are the nicest things I can say about him and it goes downhill from there. The bastard knows I can’t stand him. He’s unreliable, undependable, and for years his presence anywhere near me makes me madder than hell. He’s one of these assholes that if you say the wrong thing to him he’ll stomp off in a snit. So in an effort to get him to stomp off, I’m rude to the bastard at every opportunity. Yeah, that sounds like a good IBO prospect to sponsor especially after I made it very clear to him and his wife and the upline Platinum sack of shit that I had no interest in getting involved in fucking Amway again.

If that arrogant prick had just minded his own business I wouldn’t have gone through the emotional and financial turmoil of putting up with those fucking Amway assholes and I wouldn’t be writing this blog.

To this day I get after Ambot whenever that arrogant prick phones him and I point out that Captain Fuck Up is disobeying the hallowed cult leader’s orders by associating with him. Ambot argues that its not applicable because the arrogant prick quit Amway too. I say big deal. If the Platinum says he can’t associate with us then he shouldn’t whether or not any of us are still in Amway.

Damn it I wished it worked that way but Ambot still seems to be acceptable to the arrogant prick phoning him up whenever he wants something.

What really pissed me off was the time the fucking Amway son of a bitch shows up at our house at 6am wanting to borrow something. We were asleep. So was my dog until she heard someone lurking outside and then the barking began which woke us up. I had a pounding headache all day long thanks to that bastard waking up my dog. Not even an apology to me for waking me up. But what else do you expect from an Amway asshole.

I never trusted the bastard to begin with and after the Amway fiasco and the financial and emotional distress it caused me I don’t have anything to do with him. He’s not allowed in the house so Ambot has to go out to the street to talk to him if he drives over or meet him or go to the coffee shop like good little Ambots do to prospect. Shit I hope he’s not trying to reel him into another MLM! He stopped by a few months ago and actually had the gall to park in our driveway and stood there talking to Ambot. I walked over to the section of sundeck that overlooks the driveway and yelled loud enough for my neighbors to hear that there’s a fucking piece of shit Amway asshole on our property and tell that fucking Amway asshole to get the hell off before I call the cops. He left.

That must have done it because the fucking Amway asshole has not returned to our house since then. Or at least not that I know of.

If I was a fucking Amway asshole and one of my friend’s wives disliked me because of all the trouble I caused them, and I wasn’t allowed in the house, I think I’d get a big clue and stay the hell away from them. I mean how dumb can you be? Apparently not as dumb as this fucker because he keeps phoning and texting - the Amway asshole lifeline.

I can't wait for the day when karma comes to bite him in the ass

The arrogant prick’s sponsor was an Amway asshole who claimed he was Eagle. This pompous shithead was over twenty years younger than me. A single guy. Typical of his age. Mostly only interested in getting laid and figured if he got rich in Amway that would attract the chicks. I think he was an appliance salesman or installer. I can tell you I’d never buy an appliance from that son of a bitch. Just to spite that fucking Amway asshole I’m gonna buy new kitchen appliances from another supplier when we remodel and I’m gonna make sure Ambot tells that fucker he’s shit out of luck. Because of his affiliation with Amway I’d never buy anything he’s selling because he's a liar and can't be trusted. So this bastard gets involved with another MLM and he showed up at our house trying to get Ambot interested. I shut him down real fast. No chance of it happening. That fucking Eagle is part of the reason we lost money and I’ll never forget it. He was in Amway for two years when we were sunk in the shithole. Probably still is. Wouldn’t believe him either way if he said he wasn’t.

So there you have it. I don’t know for sure which one of those fucking Amway assholes was the texting culprit so they both get bitched out today. But mostly Captain Fuck Up gets bitched out because I can’t stand him more than the other Amway asshole!

Spring Leadership Bullshit is Over!

Spring Leadership is over? Not really. Its only getting started for thousands of ambots making the pilgrimage to the annual WWDB Amway brainwashing meeting to pour more money into the tool scam and make their upline Diamonds at the top of the pyramid richer. Amway WWDB Spring Leadership is on this weekend April 13, 14, 15 2012 in Las Vegas. The title of this post refers to when Spring Leadership that Ambot attended had come to an end. I am getting a ton of hits on the old search engines for Spring Leadership 2012 except for a few loser ambots who don't know what year it is and are searching for information for Amway Spring Leadership 2011. Dumb ass ambots were probably told by their cult leaders that just because they're in Amway that gives them the power to turn back time. 

The Amway WWDB Spring Leadership brainwashing conference has come to an end.

Yee haw!

Let’s get in the car and get the hell out of here ASAP! We have a long drive ahead of us and about 3 hours left of daylight. The highway is going to be packed very quickly with IBO’s wanting to get the hell of out Dodge. I want to get ahead of as many of those brainwashed jerks as fast as I can and keep driving until sunset and then find somewhere to eat.

Ambot got out of the stadium fast enough but the fucking Eagle and a couple of his downline are hot on his heels. I was waiting in a 5 minute passenger pick up/drop off zone with a bunch of taxis in front of the arena so I didn’t have to pay for parking. Ambot shows up with the entourage in tow and announces the others want to go to Red Lobster for dinner and he’d like us to join them.

Hell no! I don’t want to eat dinner with those World Wide Destructive Bastards!

As much as I like eating at Red Lobster I have no interest in dining with a bunch of kiddies, one of them being the young lady who came down to the hotel dining room in her jammies. I just want to get going and put some miles behind us while we still had daylight. I had no idea where the Red Lobster was in this town but lets say 15 minutes or so to figure that out and in the past my dining experiences there have taken at least an hour. We’d be burning daylight. I don’t think so. I’m just as happy stopping at Denny’s at nightfall for a burger. Less expensive too. We’re not like the rest of those tax cheating IBO’s. Our accountant don’t let us claim NOTHING to do with Amway on our tax return because our accountant only deals in legitimate businesses not pyramid schemes.

Ambot looks disappointed but gets in the car.

Spring Leadership is done for another year.

Amway WWDB Spring Leadership sucks!!!!!

Fuck you bastards!

How Many Ambots Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb?

I hope everyone is having a good April Fool’s Day!

I’ve resurrected a joke I left in comments a couple of months ago just in case some of my readers missed it.

How many ambots does it take to change a lightbulb?

The entire “team”!

A lowly newly recruited IBO who still has enough room on his credit card to buy an overpriced piece of shit Amway lightbulb.

Another lowly newly recruited IBO who will be sent up the ladder first to wash down the area. Free IBO slave labor!

Another lowly newly recruited IBO who has been assigned to provide refreshments - XS piss water and shitty Amway food bars.

5 IBOs who have been assigned to be a committee to figure out what to do with the old lightbulb.

Another 5 IBO’s who have been assigned to pray that the spirit of darkness has not descended upon this home to spread negativity.

The Eagle who asks permission from the Platinum if they are allowed to change the lightbulb.

Someone from crossline who is a specialist in changing lightbulbs but first permission must be granted from the Emerald for him to fraternize with the crossline enemy team.

The crossline’s Platinum who is only showing up to ensure no MLM espionage is going on here.

The ambot’s Platinum who shows up to whine and bitch that he could be spending time with his family and instead he is here to “help” his downline and “bless” the lightbulb once its installed.

The Emerald who shows up to tell all of them he doesn’t believe in change.

The Diamond who sells a motivational book on how to get it done.

One negative dream stealer who claims its a mathematical probability that it can’t be done.

You know all they had to do was find one woman who could do the work of 20 men. Who would then point out the blatantly obvious that the light isn’t even burned out it just needed to be screwed into its socket a little tighter! And then point out the even more blatantly obvious that there were already extra lightbulbs in the cupboard that were stocked up the last time there was a sale at Lowe’s so they didn’t even need to go out and buy those expensive shitty bulbs from Amway!

Avoid Amway Scumbuckets or this will Happen to You Too!

A reader left a comment on a post I wrote last year. I thought it was an eye opener enough to deserve its own post because a lot of people might miss the post where he left the comment. Just more proof that no matter how high you climb the Amway pyramid the promised money is not there.

my wife ( now ex ) and I were double eagle rubies ., we won the diamond incentive award back in 1999( i think or 2000) anyway, everyone thought we were making money,, and we were....but mostly on tools,, and then on the bonus cheques...but most of all it was the yr end bonus chq that made a difference. however I was spending a ton of money travelling back east to work a let back there....loosing sleep. ,sleeping at airports..because I wanted to "do whatever it took" I have no regrets on doing what i did. however i do regret the type of person i became , just seeking attention and loving that other people would come around me at functions with their tape recorders wanting to know what i knew ( as if i was some guru) .. its not a humble ,walk soft type of business. at least not for my personality. The business is a good sound business. Its the people and the attitudes and the late nites and the people worshiping that was so so not right. and they say that anyone can build it. And i now do not agree...a shy, not aggressive person who has very limited funds and no desire to sell anything certainly can not build it...

I remember my upline bounced a bonus cheque on me when i was a 4000pv. and i still paid everone in my downline and no one reimbursed me for the bounced cheque...hmmm

THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN A WAKE UP CALL FOR ME RIGHT THERE....WTF !!

OK here’s my showing that I wasn’t paying attention at Amway cult meetings - like that’s a big surprise for any of my regular readers to hear!

I have no idea what is a double eagle ruby! I know there was an Eagle in my upline cocksucking son of a bitch that he was. Apparently he had 6 people in his downline. He sponsored our sponsor and for that reason alone I can’t stand the fucking little troublemaker. Our sack of shit Platinum was always bragging that the little cocksucker was going double eagle next month or within the next couple of months and then he’d be Platinum in 3 months. NOT!!!!! So I assume double eagle is 12 people in your downline. But I don’t know what the ruby part of anything is.

I also have no idea what a Diamond incentive is, though clearly former double eagle ruby got a lot further in “the business” than most ambots do.

Like other unfortunate victims of the Amway cult, it was the end of his marriage.

Let that be a lesson to all you couples out there considering getting involved in this pyramid scheme. The Amway scam business is more suited for single men with male chauvinist pig qualities. There is no place for women in the Amway good old boy’s club other than to support her husband.

This fellow lets us know several things of what its really like in the Amway business. First of all he’s reached a level where everyone thought he should be making money in Amway. I remember all those Scamway meetings I attended and the cult leader would be telling us that Platinums make $75,000/year, Emeralds make $125K and so on and higher and higher it goes. I’m not sure what the base mark income that the upline claims a double eagle ruby should be making but apparently it was another fable. However this is a level where he made money on tools and that was the bulk of the income plus a year end bonus check.

He spent a lot of money on travel expenses growing his business I suppose because the upline told him to do whatever it takes. Never question upline!

The biggest toll was Amway turned him into a person he did not like. He was becoming the person that I saw at functions. Money grubbing attention seekers who want to be worshipped by their cult followers.

This guy has some regrets which I have seen other former ambots exhibit too which is all part of the brainwashing process. Still brainwashed in some way after leaving Amway.  They still think Amway is a good business. They accept  that this is not the right business for them but don’t seem to accept that they’ve been scammed.

I like his honesty where he says you need a certain type personality to be in Amway and its not for everyone. People who are shy, not agressive, and don’t have unlimited funds should stay away from Amway.

Well everyone should stay away from Amway! Coming from someone who built this business once and apparently retired without seeing any of this fabled residual income rolling in forever, but still seems to think an Amway business is good for some people, he says its not for everyone.

Current ambots would just mock this fellow and say he didn’t try hard enough and taunt him that his wife left him because he wasn’t man enough for the Amway business.

Been there, heard it all. I know how those brainwashed Amway bastards think.

So much for the Amway meetings I attended where the cult leaders would tell the audience this business is so simple anyone can do it.

Upline bounced a check to him. No big surprise there. Our upline never had any money. Everyone upline up to the Platinum looked at my husband to provide refreshments for Amway meetings, buy snacks if they met at a coffee house, provide chairs, provide Amway motivational materials, etc, etc for everyone. When we tried to get our sponsor Captain Fuck Up to buy back the tools he declined saying he had no money. Big surprise there. Our upline had no problem violating Amway's policies particularly the one about how purchasing tools are optional and the upline is still obligated to help you build your Amway business and the upline is supposed to buy tools back if the IBO asks them to.

IF YOU DON"T BUY TOOLS THEN I WON'T WORK WITH YOU!!!! Heard that one at every Scamway meeting!

Here’s the thing. If someone writes you a bad check take it to the police and press fraud charges against the person and then file a claim against them in small claims court. I would not have hesitated to do that if anyone in our upline wrote us a bad check but then I didn’t like anyone in our upline. I assume this guy did like his upline and didn’t want to cause any problems for them.

His upline writing bad checks is all the proof we need that Amway IBO’s are liars, scammers, committing fraud, and breaking the law. Not to mention all round disreputable people. Everyone in Amway are identical ambots.

Avoid Amway scumbuckets at all costs! Or it will cost you lots of money and emotional distress!

Buy Your Tickets for Free Enterprise Days. NOW!!!

Before we even leave Family Reunion our sack of shit Platinum sends out word that everyone must buy tickets for FED - Free Enterprise Days - NOW even though its July and FED is not held until October.

The reason for this is simple. Some Diamond upline decreed it to be so!

The Diamonds main income is derived from speaking at Amway functions. They are 3 months apart. A lot can happen in those 3 months. IBO’s get discouraged that they’re not making money but they’re sure spending a lot of money and probably going into debt to support their Amway habit. There’s a possibility that IBO’s may quit between Amway functions.

So the Diamonds want to strike while the iron is hot. While IBO’s are still fired up from all the motivational bullshit they’ve just sat through during Family Reunion. All weekend long they listened to one Ken and Barbie after another strut across the stage and brag about how good life has become since they let the great Amway god into their lives. They brag about all their material goods and they bullshit about “helping” others.

Yeah! Helping them to the poorhouse so the upline can get richer!

Buy your tickets for FED now and that ties the IBO into trudging through another 3 months of Amway hell. Sucking another 3 months of Amway purchases out of those poor bastards.

As for us, remember Ambot bragged about the extra cash we were travelling with so I could hit JC Penney and get that skookum cappuccino machine that was on a Saturday door crasher sale. Instead of me getting the machine we had to donate $250 of our money to some fucked up IBO whose reservation had gone AWOL in the fucked up Amway/WWDB computer system and he had to buy another Family Reunion ticket.

They were going to deal with his refund after they got home and someone from the World Wide Dream Builders office was back to work after taking the weekend off.

So the asshole Eagle gets a brilliant idea which had probably come from further upline. Instead of us getting our $250 back, they would put it towards our tickets to FED.

Fuck you Eagle!  

Of course Ambot is all psyched up about that. What a deal! Obviously he was planning to attend FED because he's a serious business builder and he would never dare disobey the Platinum if he ordered his cult followers to buy tickets to FED. We never got our $250 back but we did get 2 tickets to Free Enterprise Days. Gee what a bargain! We have to haul our asses to another shitty Amway function. Can’t wait.....

Brainwashed Amway Defenders

Every now and then I get a brainwashed ambot showing up at my blog usually after doing a search for how Amway is awesome or an Amway function. They stick around long enough to read the one post their search pointed them to and write some canned Amway response that came straight from the CD or one of their upline. So far I haven’t had an original response. Just the usual bullshit - quitter, lazy, didn’t try hard enough, loser, keep working your J.O.B.

I’ve already covered in previous posts that my Ambot put in at least 100 hours a month into Amway pretty much to the extent of ignoring and pushing aside everything else in his life, including his own legitimate business. The facts are what they are. Former IBO’s are all over the Internet saying how hard they worked - some reaching pin levels of Eagle, Platinum, and Emerald - and saying the money they were promised they’d get when they reached that level just wasn’t there.

I had one admirer - Jennifer - who posted a bunch of questions like any good little defensive IBO would do. If she’d read some of the other posts on my blog that would give her the answers to the questions she asked.

Uh, who’s the lazy one now? Ha ha!

Then there’s anonymous from Missoula Montana who accuses me of having body parts I do not possess!  The name is Anna. That is a palindrome. Say it backwards or forwards and it still says the same thing. I have never met a man named Anna. Are ambots so brainwashed they can’t tell the difference between a man and a woman anymore?

Typical brainwashed IBO behavior is to ignore the facts and believe only what their upline says because that is always the truth. Other sources are all lies. At least that’s what the Platinum brainwashes the followers into believing.

Brainwashed ambots are welcome to my blog and if they’re a rare breed and actually have something original to say and can say it without being on the attack about me being lazy, unsupportive, unchristian, didn’t try hard enough, and a broke loser who is going to work for someone else for all my life, then post away.

If you’re a respectful ambot I’ll do my best to be nice to you.

For the rest of you brainwashed ambots who show up here accusing me of not supporting my husband all I have to say is fuck you. But then what else do I expect to hear from a brainwashed IBO. Leave me a lazy ass canned Amspeak response and expect a few insults hurled right back at you.

Then come back a few days later and see if you're the subject of a new post!

Trade Show at Amway WWDB Family Reunion

When we arrived at the hotel we stayed at during Amway WWDB Family Reunion we barely checked in and put our bags in the room when Ambot wanted to haul ass over to the convention arena because something was going on - meaning Amway products would be out on display. For lack of anything else to describe it I’d call it a trade show but that is using the term very loosely.

Now I’ve been to real trade shows. They usually revolve around a theme: boats, home & gardening, RV’s, etc. Trade shows are usually held in fairgrounds because there are usually exhibition halls or ice rinks (no ice), etc that can be converted into trade shows and plenty of parking. There are usually a couple of hundred exhibitors, maybe more depending on the venue. Usually the people who rent booths at these events either provide products or services roughly related to the theme of the trade show. However there are always the usual suspects who show up at these events even though what they’re selling has nothing to do with the theme. There will probably be booths selling nuts or fudge or cotton candy, probably some realtors have booths, maybe some tourism bureaus from other towns, and usually some MLM’s like Mary Kay will be flogging their wares. I have never seen Amway represented at any trade show. Whew!

OK so we bust our asses getting to the arena so we can partake of the world’s most awesome Amway trade show. Its a not to be missed extravaganza for serious business builders.

Ha ha! This was the shittiest, sorriest excuse for a trade show I’ve ever seen in my life. Well what else do you expect from Amway? There were only a few booths, maybe 10. One of them had Perfect Water dispensed in dixie cups. Artistry was there and they had little sample packs of face cream. You know the use it once kind. Someone from XS Gear was there with their products. This is where Ambot ran into trouble with getting ripped off by XS Gear. He got the guy’s business card and decided to be their best customer but it didn’t work out so well.

I don’t remember what else was there. I know it took less than 20 minutes to see everything. Pretty shitty. Surprisingly enough there weren’t the hoards of brainwashed ambots you’d expect to see here. There were maybe a hundred people and that includes IBO’s and the exhibitors standing behind the tables. Of course due to the shitty exhibits it only took minutes to see it all so its very possible IBO’s were trailing in and out over the 2 or 3 hours it was open. So there could have been another couple of hundred IBO’s viewing the trade show before and after we got there.

There was the Amway registration desk and we could pick up our “kit” - as I recall a ticket on a string that we hung around our necks. There was also early bird parking passes for the weekend for sale. A real screaming deal at $20. Only available to the poor suckers who showed up at the trade show. And yes Ambot bought one.

Shitty trade show aside going inside that arena brings back another memory.

Prior to our departure I’d been looking around to buy a cappuccino machine with all the bells and whistles and I brought an extra $200 cash with me because I thought I might find one on sale this weekend. I’d seen an ad at JC Penney with a one day Saturday sale and even though we’d be out of town I thought I could still find one while attending Family Reunion. The problem is big mouth Ambot blabs to everyone and anyone that we had extra money with us. Captain Fuck Up’s sponsor - Asshole Eagle - was at the trade show plus a few others in his downline. Like its any of their fucking business how much money we happen to have on hand! I was pissed off at Ambot because these kids in their 20’s probably didn’t even bring enough money to buy meals and would likely hit us up for a loan that they wouldn’t repay.

Apparently one of the people in Asshole Eagle’s downline claimed he bought his Family Reunion ticket online at the last minute. Except when he checked in at the registration desk they had no record of it. So there he was stuck at Family Reunion with no cash, a maxed out credit card, and no ticket. Because Ambot had conveniently blabbed about the extra cash Asshole Eagle asked him to buy the Family Reunion ticket for his downline and he’d get his money back once they got it all straightened out. Because Ambot has been brainwashed to “submit to downline” even though the fucking asshole is about 25 years younger than him he willing to fork over the cash. The problem is the cashola is in my purse so now he has to beg me for the money. I am pissed. I have the cash earmarked for the cappuccino machine. Their problems aren’t my problems. But because I am such a kindhearted soul I finally agree the bastard can borrow the money.

Ended up buying a $30 Mr Coffee machine instead. Brought it into action a few times when we tried to trick people into coming over for coffee klatches when it was really an Amway event in disguise. Nobody every showed up anyway. What? Nobody likes lattes?

The Motley Crew

People must be wondering was there anyone in our upline who I actually liked?

The short answer is no. With the exception of the asshole who sponsored us, most of the others I was civil enough to have quick conversations with. At least in the beginning before Ambot lost too much money and became too brainwashed. Just because these fuckers were involved in Amway was already reason enough for me to dislike and not trust these people. That alone was a huge obstacle for any of them to try to overcome with me because we’d already been involved in Amway before and I knew it was next to impossible to make money.

I’m sure our upline aren’t all that different from other people’s uplines. Except that mine might be a little weirder and wacko religious than others.

Everyone knows by now that our sponsor was someone I’d despised for many years and had nothing to do with. He quit Amway after we did. Though maybe “quit” isn’t quite the proper term. He didn’t do much with Amway other than the damage he brought to me and Ambot. He rarely showed up to meetings and when he did it was probably because someone upline bitched at him until he did. So whenever he showed up he looked angry. Ugly son of a bitch. Have I mentioned lately that I don’t like him?

His sponsor who’d reached Eagle was over twenty years younger than me. A single guy. Typical of his age. Mostly only interested in getting laid and figured if he got rich in Amway that would attract the chicks. I think he was an appliance salesman or installer. I can tell you I’d never buy an appliance from that son of a bitch. Sucks to be him when we get around to remodeling our kitchen! Because of his affiliation with Amway I’d never buy anything he’s selling because he's a liar and can't be trusted. So this bastard gets involved with another MLM after quitting Amway and he showed up at our house trying to get Ambot interested. I shut him down real fast. No chance of it happening. Fortunately the bastard is scared of me. He’s got good reason to be. He stole one of our cameras and wouldn’t give it back after we quit but Ambot eventually got it a few months later after I rode his ass about it. That fucking Eagle is part of the reason we lost money and I’ll never forget it. He was in Amway for two years. That would be a big no, I don’t like him either.

The upline from there is a little convoluted to me. I think the next one up was another salesman who was earning about $20k a year from his J.O.B. He was a weird guy. Looked like he could have got a lead role in a vampire horror flick based on his looks alone! Talk about a Count Dracula lookalike! I had nothing in common with this guy either. He was always polite and said a few words to me, you know the sickening Amway nicey nicey bullshit thing. Kind of a spooky looking creature. He’s not going to attract any women anytime soon. Maybe that’s why he’s in Amway. To get rich and then find a woman who’s interested in him for his money. I think he’s been in Amway about 10 years. His only active downline was the above mentioned Eagle who has since quit and I think most of his downline legs did too. He has never been able to maintain any level he might have managed to attain during a month. I don’t like him due to his association with Amway.

Upline of him is a couple who are probably closer to my age than just about everyone else who showed up at meetings. I didn’t really have much contact with them. The only bad things I have to say about them are they’re involved in Amway and they’re too religious for my liking. Take those things away from them and they’re probably decent people who are trying to provide a good life for themselves and their daughter. Again I didn’t have anything in common with them and not much to say to them but neither do I have anything against them except they’re Amway freaks. They’ve been in Amway for around 10 years, 2000 to 4000 PV each month, unable to maintain anything, and never able to grasp the Platinum level because downline keeps quitting. Too bad for them they’ve been completely brainwashed. If they had nothing to do with Amway and were my next door neighbors I would probably like these people.

Their sponsor is the sack of shit Platinum and everyone knows by now that I do not like him. Troublemaking son of a bitch. He’s a good cult leader. I’ll say that for him. His wife and teenage son and daughter are decent people. I can’t see what she finds attractive in her husband. Obviously fell under the spell of his religious craziness. They’ve been in Amway for around 15 years and in and out of Platinum level qualification many times because its hard to stop downline from quitting. Most of the reasons I have for not liking him can be pretty much summed up in the Fuck You IBO post.

Upline Emeralds I only saw on a handful of occasions and never spoke with them. A married couple who looked to me to be living beyond their means. No big surprise there! He got “permission” from his upline to quit his job years ago and she was still working. I think she had some mid level government management type job with a good income. I believe they’ve been in Amway for 20 years. So much for the 2 to 5 years to Diamond income theory! I don’t know them to have formed any opinions on them but just due to the fact that they’re in Amway and destroying other peoples lives is reason enough for me not to like them.

I never met any Diamonds. But you have the picture. I wouldn’t have liked any of them anyway because I don’t like people involved with Amway.

So there you have it. The assholes in my upline. Probably not much different than anyone else’s uplines. Except for the one who could get the starring role in the vampire flick!

Did Ambot have an Amway Business Plan?

For people who have taken small business ownership/entrepreneur courses one of the things we’re taught is to create a business plan. We’re also told that we should be pulling out our business plan every 6 months or every year and looking it over and making any changes in our services, products, goals, etc.

For all the Amway business meetings we attended and all the lack of real business advice that was never given (silly us to actually expect to receive good business advice at a “business meeting”!) never once did I hear any Platinum, Emerald, or Diamond speaker tell the IBO’s to create a business plan. The only “plan” ever discussed was to “duplicate your upline”.

Yeah well that don’t really cut it in the real life business world. If you see a bank officer about a loan you will need to bring a business plan and financial statements with you and not your upline Eagle who had to take time off his ditch digging job and is still wearing his grubbies to accompany you to the bank to share this exciting opportunity where the money will be rolling in faster than it can be counted. Don’t need no stinking business plan when you bring a sharp Amway businessman along with you!

Ambot never created a business plan for Amway therefore there was no plan for success.

Our real business plan for our real business was 50 pages long but depending on the complexity of the business and products or services offered other business plans could be much longer.

Business plans - your business blueprint - your plan for success - generally follows the same pattern:

1. Executive summary - the name of your business, address, owners, and summarizes what the business does, who the customers might be, and expenses. These will be covered in more detail later in the business plan.
2. Business philosophy - description of industry, description of the business, vision statement, mission statement, business goals
3. Operations plan - business structure, human resources structure, production methods, service delivery, strategic alliances, risk assessment, licenses, insurance, and regulations.
4. Marketing plan - products or service description, industry analysis, competitive analysis, target market description, market strategies, selling strategies
5. Financial Plan - projected cash flow, projected income statement, balance sheet, personal financial information
6. Appendices - action plan, resume, business outline, etc.

None of the above was ever taught during any Amway “business meeting”.

I did a Google search for a business plan MLM company selling soap and I actually got some hits. I was even curious enough to look at one. The company had a different business name but for all I know it was a pseudonym for Amway.

Serious business owners create business plans. For all the talk I heard about Amway IBO’s being “serious business builders” I never heard of anyone in our LOS who put together a business plan. I’m not saying its impossible for a serious Amway business builder to create a business plan but I doubt it will fly especially when it will be full of Amway speak learned from their upline, tapes, and CD’s instead of legitimate business information. Imagine filling in the competitive analysis portion of the business plan. Here’s where the IBO compares prices of similar products already established in the marketplace. The best they can do is show that similar products are sold at Costco and Wal-Mart for a lower price. “Oh but our products are much higher quality and that gives them an edge in the marketplace.” Subjective, debatable, and doubtful. And the bank loans officer doesn’t give a shit.

If you want to be considered a serious business owner, choose a legitimate business, create a business plan, present it to others, and get feedback on how likely success will be in this venture. Ambot never created an Amway business plan to show to other people - friends, family, business owners, and bankers to get objective third party opinions before slapping down $150 for the Amway registration and starter kit. I’d say his experience is similar to most Amway IBO’s.

What do they say about the importance of having a business plan? If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

Likewise if you get involved with Amway no matter what you plan - you will fail.

Driving all over Town and Outlying Areas

During Round 1 of Amway and WWDB our upline Platinum was a nasty bitch. I didn’t like her at all. Back then - 2000 or 2001 - we had to phone in or drop off our orders both for products and tools and then show up once a week at her house - about ten or fifteen minute drive away - to pick them up. She usually had her act together. If nothing else the shrewd bitch was organized. Not organized enough to stop herself from falling out of Platinum qualification but she’s still in Amway after all these years.

In Round 2 of Amway and WWDB orders were placed on the Internet and delivered to our house. Our sack of shit Platinum would rant at us during Amway meetings that we had it lucky. When he started in Amway he had to drive a couple of towns away to pick up the Amway order from his upline and then he spent hours delivering it all over the place. He said when his car broke down he had to take the bus - and undoubtedly a few helpers - to carry all the boxes. So the sack of shit would go on and on and on about the shit he went through in Amway to get him where he was. Uh, lets see. Was he under the false impression that I actually cared?

Every week we had to order tools - CDs and books - the more the better of course. I have no idea how the Platinum sack of shit received them. All I know is the upline Eagle picked them up from Platinum’s house rather late at night when he got off work and then we met him at Dunkin Donuts around 10pm or 10:30 to pick up our order. The donut shop was about halfway between our house and the Platinum’s house, about a 10 minute or so drive. It was a central location for the Eagle’s downline to show up and pick up their tools because most of them lived within a 15 minute drive and the Eagle lived way out in the boonies.

This went on for maybe a month. Then the Platinum heard about it. The fucking asshole went nutso! He screamed and shrieked and carried on as if someone had just committed murder! Holy shit it was amazing!

The Platinum ordered the Eagle to stop meeting downline at Dunkin Donuts. Who knows why? Maybe the fucker had shares in Krispy Kreme? He ordered all tools to be picked up at the Eagle’s house about an hour’s drive each way.

I was really pissed off. But then anytime that meddling sack of shit sticks his ass into anyone’s business it pisses me off. I pointed out to Ambot that this was really dumb. The Platinum sack of shit lives about a twenty minute drive from our house. The fucking Eagle is about an hour away. It would be quicker for us to go to the Platinum’s house and pick up those shitty tools that I didn’t want in the first place. Because I knew Ambot was going to plug one of those damned CD’s into the car’s stereo and crank up the volume so it would be like listening to one of those fire and brimstone sermons from a tent church the whole drive home. Add to the fact that the Eagle didn’t get home - and here its important to point out that he still lived with mommy and daddy even though he’s in his mid 20’s - until at least 10:30 at night. So we’re driving all over the countryside for a couple of hours late at night when I’d rather be getting ready for bed. We’ve got customers to deal with in the morning. What the fuck is Ambot thinking? I told him to cancel any further orders for tools. If we all stuck together and cancelled tool orders and refused to drive to the Eagle’s house to pick them up maybe we’d "get permission" to pick them up at a central location again. Like I had any chance of the other downline doing anything to disobey the Platinum.

Ambot had to be CORE and feed into the tool scam so his upline could get rich. He had to bust ass driving out of town late at night to pick up $10 worth of CD’s every week. It cost about that much in gas for a round trip drive. Not to mention our time. Why the hell didn’t he just wait another day to pick up the damned tools at the next night’s Amway meeting? After a few weeks Ambot had enough of the late night drives and he did pick up his CD’s and books from the Eagle the next time he saw him. They had to be sneaky about it though. You know - hiding them under their shirts!

And the point of this whole exercise? To teach us discipline. What? We’re in the armed forces maybe and that’s why we need discipline? We became responsible adults understanding discipline. Why the fuck do we need to keep learning about discipline because we’re in Amway?

Oh I forgot. The discipline thing is because we're in a cult. Its all about brainwashing the IBO’s and ordering them around to make sure they’re good little cult followers. Loyalty and obedience to the cult leader is the most important thing.

Like I really needed another reason to dislike the Platinum. Once again I send a big old fuck you out to that sack of shit.