Tuesday, August 16, 2011

The Amway IBO Guide to Wasting Money Doing Laundry

1. Always buy Amway laundry soap. Legacy of Clean SA8 3x concentrate costs $28.20. The usage rate is 100 uses per bottle and Amway’s recommended use is 7 uses per week. That means you’re doing laundry every day so don’t bitch about it! You run that fucking washing machine every day even if there’s only a couple of socks in it. The great Amway god says the quicker you run out of Amway laundry soap the sooner you can buy another expensive bottle.

Remember to bully everyone you know into buying Amway’s laundry soap. You need to learn to overcome their objections like there are lots of laundry detergent choices at Walmart’s. Why would anyone want to buy All Small & Mighty 3x concentrate that does 96 loads that costs $10.97 when they can spend more money for the same size of Amway’s Legacy of Clean. You need to bullshit your buyers into believing the reason they are spending 3 times more money for laundry soap is because Amway’s laundry soap is 3 times more concentrated and the high price reflects its high quality.

2. Wash in hot water. You’ll need to if you want any hope in hell of actually getting your clothes clean using Amway laundry soap. As for the environmental impact and the higher costs of running a laundry load at hot all the time - and remember Amway recommends all good little ambots do 7 loads of laundry a week so that’s at least daily - just remember the Amway IBO slogan - “who cares”.

3. Always use your dryer to dry your clothes. Who cares if other people are being environmentally friendly and saving money by line drying their clothes. The other benefit of using your dryer instead of hanging your clothes on the clothesline is that you can buy Amway Fabric Softener Sheets for the dryer 2 x 200 count boxes for $16.98. You want a good laugh on those ignoramuses using the clothesline? Amway also sells the sheets in a scent called “Outdoor Fresh” so there is no need to hang your clothes on a line and save energy and money! You know what ambots call people who are environmentally friendly and hang their clothes on a clothesline instead of using a dryer and Amway dryer sheets? Losers!

If any of your friends point out that Snuggle sells 200 count fabric sheets for $5.97 remember your old stand by response that the reason Amway products are so high priced is to reflect the high quality. Remember to look for someone who is dumb ass enough to stock up on 400 high quality sheets fabric sheets and tell them to toss several into the dryer at a time because if they did one sheet per load it would take them years to buy another box from you again and you probably will have quit Amway by then.

4. Use extra Amway laundry soap. Keep in mind that Amway’s laundry soap does not do that good a job of getting your clothes clean so its a good idea to overfill above the line on the cap when filling the detergent. The added benefit is you will also go through your laundry soap a whole lot faster and be able to buy more Amway laundry soap very soon and get that old PV BV up there!

5. If your washing machine dies you must buy a brand new washer AND dryer even if there is nothing wrong with the old dryer. Don’t even dare think about going to Charlie’s Discount Appliances Emporium! You must ask your Platinum’s permission before you buy a new washer and dryer and get the sack of shit’s advice on where to buy. The bastard will know somebody in another leg or crossline who can sell you a new washer and dryer. Don’t expect to get a good deal on your new machines. After all the IBO selling them must make a good commission so he can buy more Amway tools and grease the Platinum’s palm for the referral on the sale.

6. Do not waste money buying an energy efficient washer and dryer. Remember the Amway IBO attitude when it comes to conserving energy and being environmentally friendly and saving money - who cares!

21 comments:

  1. Hilarious! Thanks for the laugh this morning! My family members use this crap, but I know they rarely do laundry. I remember them commenting about how long a bottle lasted them...of course it'll last a long time if you never do laundry! LOL. -FM

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  2. FM - when I went on Amway's website to check the price and saw their recommended usage 7 times a week I couldn't believe it. That's their marketing strategy to get ambots to use up a bottle real fast and buy another expensive bottle of laundry soap. But yes on the other end of the spectrum I can see how if someone rarely does laundry that a bottle of detergent would last a long time! They probably still keep buying bottles of laundry soap just to stock up and for the sake of buying something and getting their PV to the minimum to receive a bonus check.

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  3. I have a favourite brand i use and got alot of crap when i mentioned it to a ibo. Still have 90% of SA8 in the basement from 20 years ago.

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  4. Anna- after getting my kid. I thought gee there's nothing i would continually buy from this company. I dont mind paying more for quality. Everything produced by amway seems to be lower quality than stuff you buy from department stores.

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  5. Thanx for the LOLs that was hilarious and brought back some memories. I was a single ambot during my amcult dark years (about 7) i think i bought only 2 to 3 max laundry detergent. i didn't even know they require (excuse me recommend) ambots to launder daily! i never saw my good cult following uplines' wives do laundry everyday. anywho the box lasted like forever cause i used it about once a month. so i never was a good source of revenue for the amcults.

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    1. My question is why are you stupid enough to do laundry 7 times a week instead of doing just what you need.

      I think the first problem is that you are dumb and the second that your uplines are too because what they did is not sustainable... how could you fall for that? Again are you stupid to not notice?

      Delete
    2. Neisser - it says right on the Amway bottle of SA8 that recommended use is daily = 7 times a week. So yes only Amway Ambots are stupid enough to do laundry 7 times a week as ordered by their employer.

      Delete
  6. Colin - there was nothing I wanted to buy from Amway either. Amway sells generic and substandard products at premium prices and the brainwashed ambots have to go around convincing people that Amway's high prices reflects the quality of the products. In order to succeed at Amway you must be a very good liar.

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  7. Ex-Ambot - glad you enjoyed the post! If you look at Amway's product description for the laundry soap it doesn't say daily it says recommended usage 7 uses a week, so average it out - laundry daily! Ever go into an ambot's laundry room? Its exploding! Piles and piles of clothes on the floor and stacked on the dryer. Its hard to know what's clean and what's dirty. Who has time to do laundry when you're buggering off all the time to Amway meetings?

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  8. I tried the laundry detergent and found that eventually my had towels quickly developed a sour smell and had to be laundered more frequently.

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  9. Moushie - yep I'd rather get the 2x or 3x concentrate scented laundry soap. Name brands much cheaper than Amway's and does a better job of getting the clothes clean.

    PS - you're lucky you weren't using the expensive Amway towels that weren't even good enough quality for the bargain bin. Those fell apart and fluffies everywhere!

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  10. I just washed my young daughter's sheets after she pee'd on them in the middle of the night. I have washed them twice using three scoops of the powder detergent for each load. They still smell of urine.

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    Replies
    1. Gee thanks for sharing that with us! What else do you expect if you're using Amway's laundry soap? Most consumer reports show the best laundry detergent is Tide so you might want to try that. Or you can try one of those scented Gain laundry soaps to hide the urine smell. Or if you want to keep using that low quality shitty Amway soap you might want to try adding some Pine Sol or Lysol to the washing machine.

      Or you could throw out the sheets and buy some new ones!

      Maybe you need to buy Huggies or Pampers overnight diapers for children.

      Delete
  11. ok i guess that my comment would never be posted but at least you would be able to read it probably like you read hundred of other replies since your website is dedicated to hate and not to understanding or debate. After seen the business opportunity i was in the same state that you remain in the difference i start looking by myself comparing and learning from different sources including this website. and am very sorry for all the AH that you have to deal with like your upline i don't know if would be different if it was your boss since i didn't find the webpage myhorribleboss by the ambotwife .com but in my research i found this is not an opinion is just simple numbers. one bottle of SA8 give me {4L} 133 full loads for $39.14 (i use detergent when i needed the once a day thing is just plain stupidity) and Tide give me {2.5L} 30 full loads for $11.97 in walmart and $1750 in CVS that means that for the same 133 full loads in walmart i would be paying $53.02 regardless of the quality that is not confirmed by ambots is confirmed by 3rd party industry's and the EPA. p.d:Before you tell me that the amount of loads of tide is incorrect look the back label where is written down that the amount of loads announced in the front of the bottle is by the minimum in the dispenser cap it means 1 out of 5. =) choices are there for everybody i decide that from all the ones in the shelf i prefer SA8.=)

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    1. Good Lord, isn't this all rather trivial? The issue of how many washes you get from minutely measuring out Tide or an Amway detergent is totally beside the point. Surely you see that this website isn't "dedicated to hate" (that's truly bizarre), but to forcefully pointing out the lies and the fraud of Amway and its fake "business opportunity."

      OK, the language is a bit rough at times. Is that a problem for you? Grow up -- in the world of debate and contestation, we aren't required to be polite and nice as if we were in a goddamned tea party! We're allowed to kick ass.

      Besides, how many arrogant Amway jerks would listen to us if we were mealy-mouthed, nice guys? The only way to get the attention of Amwayers is to hit them in the face with a two-by-four. That's what Anna's website does -- in spades!

      Here's a hot flash for you, honey -- the bigshots in Ada, Michigan tune into this website EVERY DAY, and so does every diamond, ruby, emerald, sapphire, and platinum asshole in the company.

      This website is Radio Free Amway, and plenty of stupid ambots tune in to read it, secretly!

      Delete
    2. Hi Unknown. So why wouldn't we publish your comment? It's pretty mild as far as things go around here. Usually when Amway IBO's leave comments they go to the effect of: I wish you were dead you fucking loser and you coulf go to hell and rott their. Im pretty sure no one will miss you. As you can see when you get employed by Amway spelling doesn't count and that whole "don't say negative" is a bunch of bullshit tossed around by Amway cult leaders whose followers don't listen. Just saying we publish really nasty comments from evil Amway bastards so the rest of the world knows what IBO's are really like. You're going to have to step your game up. Nothing you said I can even use in the upcoming post 100 ways Amway Ambots say negative.

      And if you see this website dedicated to hate, what this website is about is reflecting what Amway is all about - and hate is one of those things that people in Amway are full of. They're full of shit too but that's another story.

      And you're right. Choices are there for everybody. If you like paying 4 or 5 times the money for Amway soap as you could spend at Walmart or Costco then that's your choice. Obviously you're not the person using SA8 who can't get the urine smell out of the bedsheets after the bedwetter kid is finished with them.

      And just a word of advice. If you expect to make money in Amway you're going to have to be the biggest asshole you can possibly be. I don't think you have it in you to be an Amway asshole but good luck with that if being a commissioned saleperson of overpriced shitty products is your calling.

      Delete
    3. People who are a part of a cult always consider any kind of criticism and revealing of facts and truth about the cult from those who have seen it from the inside and for what it is and been hurt by it as being "hate".

      Delete
    4. Anonymous - I suppose they would. Have to do whatever it takes to defend their scam cult.

      Delete
  12. Wow! I have used four things faithfully from AMWAY for more than 20 years. Laundry detergent, fabric softener, Trizyme, stain remover, and one more thing I forgot--dishwasher soap. I raised three rough and tumble little boys turned atheletes, and managed to somehow keep our laundry looking nice and lasting. After about a decade of using Tide, and other (whatever I could find on sale) detergents, I was disappointed with how my laundry did not look nice. I switched and have never looked back. I have always ordered once a year, and had all of my laundry stuff in stock. BTW, my laundry room is neat and tidy and Mondays is laundry day. Our laundry is all done by 2:00-3:00 that day and no other laundry except for athletic uniforms is done for the rest of the week.

    I am very happy with these products. I have tried other things like the bathroom cleaner and they are not worth the money. I don't think they do a good job and they are very expensive. I love the dishwasher detergent. It is the only stuff I have ever found that gives me clean, spotless dishes. It is not available anymore, however, and the same dishwasher soap in tabs is waaayy too expensive for me to even consider using.

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    1. Hi Christopher. Thanks for stopping by. Well you know if you find something that works for you then that's great. I'm more open minded than you are. In the past 20 years when you've only used one brand, I've tried at least 7 or 8 different laundry soaps including Amway's and I've found a couple that I like at about a quarter of Amway's price. As you pointed out most of Amway's products are expensive and not worth the money. Amway's products are generic at best and most are substandard compared to what you can buy at a lower price in normal retail outlets. Amway's laundry soap is generic. It didn't do anything more spectacular than anything else I've used. When we have an Amway employee showing up here and says they get free SA8 laundry soap as one of the "perks" of the job and still turns it down and goes to the store to buy Tide because that does a better job that tells you a lot!

      For the past 20 years have you also gone to the same restaurant every week and ordered the exact same thing every time? You need to try other things. Just saying you don't know you might like something better until you try. Be more adventurous!

      For example Amway's dishwasher soap is the absolute shittiest I've ever used. Too many items didn't get clean and had to be rewashed by hand. I went on a forum where a discussion was going on about dishwasher soap and they said Walmart's brand is the best. So I gave it a try and what a nice surprise. It actually gets all my dishes and glasses and forks and spoons clean - for a fraction of what Amway's cost.

      So I'm just saying in a 20 year span I've also tried several dishwasher brands, including Amway's, which is the most expensive and the worst I've used. I'm willing to give other products a try. And even when I'm happy with a product I'm still open minded enough to give other products a try to see if I like them.

      Happy New Year to you. Hope you make a resolution to try new things!

      Delete

Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!

If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:
1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.
2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.
3. Naming names? Public figures like politicians and actors and people known in Amway are probably OK – the owners, Diamonds with CDs or who speak at functions, people in Amway’s publicity department who write press releases and blogs. Its humiliating for people to admit their association with Amway so respect their privacy if they’re not out there telling everyone about the love of their life.
4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.
5. Posting something creepy anonymously and we can’t track your location because you’re on a mobile device or using hide my ass or some other proxy. I attracted an obsessed fan and one of my blog administrators attracted a cyberstalker. Lets keep it safe for everyone. Anonymous is OK. Creepy anonymous and hiding – go fuck yourselves!
6. Posting something that serves no purpose other than to cause fighting.
7. Posting bullshit Amway propaganda. We might publish that comment to make fun of you. Otherwise take your agenda somewhere else. Not interested.
8. Notice how this blog is written in English? That's our language so keep your comments in English too. If you leave a comment written in another language then we either have to use Google translate to put it into English so everyone can understand what you wrote or we can hit the Delete button. Guess which one is easier for us to do?
9. We suspect you're a troublemaking Amway asshole.
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