Friday, September 2, 2011

How 2 Broke Girls Get Even Broker the Amway Way

Has everyone seen the previews of a new series coming to CBS September 19 2011 called 2 Broke Girls.

The premise is two girls in their twenties who are roommates and work as waitresses. They’re trying to raise a couple of hundred thousand dollars so they can open a cupcake store but in the meantime they are barely scraping by.

Gee don’t they just sound like prime targets for some crazed ambot?

You know the bullshit lines those IBO’s use on people like what do you do for a living and if its some minimum wage type job then the ambot jumps all over them.

Wouldn’t you like to be making an extra $2000/month working part time from home?

Sure, who wouldn’t?

What about your dreams?

Owning a cupcake bakery.

How much money will that take.

A couple of hundred thousand.

Hey how would you like to be making a couple of hundred thousand dollars a year working part time from home.

That’s how it always starts.

Then when the IBO digs deeper and finds they’re barely scraping by, their eyes light up and they rub their hands together in glee. Got a prospect!

The problem is if those 2 broke girls sign up with Amway if they thought they were broke now they don’t know the meaning of the word broke! Spend at least $300/month to meet the minimum PV requirement to get a bonus check of around $10. Then there’s Premier Membership to WWDB for $50/month, Communikate for $40/month, books and CDs at least $100/month, and $10 for every Amway meeting attended in the month. If its a major function cost of ticket, food, travel, and hotel, at least $1000.

After a few months the 2 broke girls have thrown at least $5000 each at the Amway scheme and are way deep in the hole. They had a couple of friends buy Amway products at the beginning but their friends don’t want to buy from them anymore because they can buy similar products at Walmart that are better quality and cost less money. As hard as they prospect every customer that walks in the door of the restaurant they can’t convince anyone to come to an Amway meeting. They’ve even tried all the tricks upline suggested inviting prospects to a tea party, movie night, or beer bust disguised as an Amway event.

The 2 broke girls find themselves getting broker and broker by the second thanks to the Amway scheme.

They decide to quit.

Their upline rides their asses.

“You can’t quit now. Not when success is right around the corner.”

“Only losers aren’t in Amway.”

“I guess your dream of owning a cupcake store just wasn’t big enough.”

“Think of all those poor homeless little cupcakes that are going to die because you don’t open up a store and sell them.”

The 2 broke girls tell their upline to fuck off and die.

To celebrate getting the Amway albatross off their necks they stop at a 7-11 on the way home and buy a lottery ticket. They win half a million dollars and are able to open their cupcake shop anyway. Unfortunately it becomes a hang out for ambots to hold meetings at and they pester the cupcake clients. The 2 formerly broke girls file a complaint with Amway’s head office who don’t give a shit and do nothing.

Well if you can’t beat them join them. The 2 formerly broke girls start to offer ambots free chocolate cupcakes and that really packs their restaurant when word gets out.

Specially made for Amway IBO’s they’re loaded with ex-lax.

Ironically out of service signs always are posted on the cupcake store’s restrooms whenever ambots are in there.

And they said Amway doesn’t give a shit!


  1. Hilarious. But nonetheless true. People are cornered with dreams 'round the corner'. That is why I call it a 'mirage'.
    I met a school teacher who lamented that in spite of the fact both are working, their bank balance is almost nil thanks to Amway. Moreover, the husband pesters her to sell the products to their friends and relatives. But she finds herself in an embarrassing position when the friends and relatives shut doors on her face.

  2. Thanks Shyam! It took my about 10 minutes to write this little gem after I was inspired by a commercial preview.

    It is embarrassing to sell Amway products and its embarrassing to tell people that you're in the business of selling Amway products. Trying to peddle overpriced, useless shit is hard.

    That school teacher will probably continue to chase the out of reach Amway dream all the while forcing his wife to do something she hates. I know what that's like!

  3. Anna, awhile back im sitting at this greek restaurant. This ibo comes in with some other ambots and they all started taking nutrilite double x. Can tell the gf is a little embarassed by it all. Looked at my buddy and we said what a loser. He has a hot looking girl and he takes her to a amway meeting or function.

  4. My family did a quick visit to Vegas a month ago (not to gamble), and stopped at the MGM Grand Hotel where they have a TV screening area you can sign up for to watch pilots for potential new programs (you get a bunch of coupons for free things for your time). One of the shows was 2 Broke Girls (actually, that one was just a short commercial clip). It seemed soooooooo stupid and the humor so predictable (an odd couple living together... hmmm, where have I heard that one before?) that I gave it horrible ratings.
    However, I would have changed my mind and gave it a thumbs up if it were given your treatment. Gotta love the Ex-Lax cupcakes.


  5. Colin - there aren't that many women who willingly go to Amway meetings of any type. I'd say the women are less than 25% of the group except for Artistry seminars when it might run closer to a 50/50 split.

    Like I said Amway is embarrassing for us women. Very rarely does a single woman get involved in Amway, usually got dragged in by her significant other.

  6. Dave - I just might watch this show when it premiers to see if it interests me. Its hard to tell with a few seconds worth of highlights on a commercial.

    20 years ago I worked for a company and one of my coworkers was complaining about another woman who worked there who was always coming to her desk and sampling whatever food she had there. It really pissed off my coworker because the other woman never asked, just stopped by her desk reached over and broke off part of a cookie or whatever. I suggested to her she should bake some brownies and put ex-lax in them. Instead her and another woman we worked with made ex-lax laced cupcakes. The problem was they blabbed to so many people about what they were doing that we're pretty sure word go back to the snacker because she didn't touch them. The other problem was they made two batches of cupcakes, one for themselves. But they got them mixed up. And well you can guess the rest! Ha ha!

  7. The hilarity in this story gave me boisterous LOLs, now my lungs feel so good! it's so real, and so cunning. i like that the girls had the guts to tell their upline ambots to! seemingly they hadn't soaked in all the brainwashing. such a mindset is a nightmare to any ambot upline - they have a mind of their own. so they are termed "not teachable, not submitting to upline, etc." you know all the cult stuff. what a load of crap!

    oh yeah and about selling to friends. very very bad idea. very bad especially if an ambot doesn't have skills and is headstrong in scamway. you know when an ambot enters a room and people scatter in all directions like flies.

  8. Ex-Ambot - glad you're enjoying the humor! Feels good to laugh hunh?


Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!

If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:
1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.
2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.
3. Naming names? Public figures like politicians and actors and people known in Amway are probably OK – the owners, Diamonds with CDs or who speak at functions, people in Amway’s publicity department who write press releases and blogs. Its humiliating for people to admit their association with Amway so respect their privacy if they’re not out there telling everyone about the love of their life.
4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.
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