Sunday, October 23, 2011

The Amway IBO Guide to Wasting Time and Money Washing Dishes

Nobody likes doing dishes. Ambot does not like doing dishes at all. I swear if he was single he’d buy paper plates and plastic cutlery so he could throw them out after he’s done eating! So doing the dishes comes down to me. Big surprise. I bet every woman out there reading this knows what I’m talking about. And what about dishes that do not get put in the dishwasher? The family brings their dirty dishes into the kitchen and puts them in the sink or on the counter above the dishwasher. Why stop when you’re so close? Open up the dishwasher and put them in!

I didn’t always have the luxury of a dishwasher. I started washing the dishes when I was about 5 or 6 years old. I had to bring a chair to the sink so I could reach but I was doing dishes. When I was about 10 my parents got a dishwasher. Probably the first people in the neighborhood to get one of those newfangled devices! Though about 10 years later dishwashers were commonplace in most houses. Every house I’ve owned I’ve had a dishwasher though a couple of places I rented back in the 80’s didn’t have dishwashers and I washed by hand. One thing I learned when I was 10 years old is that not everything can go in the dishwasher. For example my parents good china had to be washed by hand. The silver had to be washed by hand. Crystal has to be washed by hand. Pots and pans that were too big had to be washed by hand. Suffice it to say I’ve had many years experience washing dishes by hand! I’ve also had many years experience of trying out dish soap for both the dishwasher and washing by hand. I know what works and what is a good price.

Enter Amway.

After we signed up the upline rushed around our house with rabid intensity informing Ambot he had all these illegal cleaning products in the house that had to be tossed and immediately replaced with “high quality” Amway products.

One of the items on the Amway mafia hit list was my dish soap and dishwasher soap to be replaced with Amway’s Dish Drops. Kind of a suitable name. I felt like dropping all my dishes after the shitty job the Amway soap did on them!

Here’s how it goes. Fill the dishwasher. Put in Amway’s dishwasher Dish Drops soap. Here its very important to note that we tried the dishwasher powder and the tablets. They both have the same results. Run the dishwasher through its cycle. Open the dishwasher to empty the dishes. First dish out. Dirty! Shit! I hate it when that happens. Cursing away turn the water on in the sink and pour in Amway’s Dish Drops soap. Put the still dirty dish into the sink while its filling with water. Pull another dish out of the dishwasher. Fuck! This one isn’t clean either! Put it in the sink with the other dishwasher reject. Pull a third dish out. Scrutinize this one real carefully. Looks OK. Put it in the cupboard. And so it goes. Half the dishes go in the sink to be washed a second time by hand. The sink is full so turn off the water. Note that Dish Drops is severely lacking in the bubble department. Pour in a little more dish soap and turn the water on again in a futile attempt to get more soap bubbles. Give it up! Next the cutlery. Shit! Dirty fork! Same story. Half go in the sink to be washed again and half are barely clean enough to be put in the drawer. Pull out the top shelf of the dishwasher where the glasses are. Fuck! Half of them are not clean but the sink is already full with dishwasher rejects so I have to put the glasses on the counter and wait their turn to get washed a second time. Making sure Ambot knows how pissed off I am about washing the dishes a second time by hand and punctuating washing the dishes by hand with a lot of shits and fucks from the kitchen I get them done. I have to keep putting more Dish Drops into the sink because the soap suds do not last. I am really pissed. I have never had this problem with any other dish soap.

Repeat over and over and over and over for the entire time we are stuck in Amway hell.

Finally our penance is over! I go to Walmart and buy Great Value dishwasher pucks and toss one in. When the load finishes I start to pull the dishes out the same way I did when we were using Amway dish soap, suspiciously giving them a good look over knowing half of them won’t be clean. But what is this? A clean dish! Victory! I put it on the shelf and give the next dish a good check over. Clean! Wow! I unload the entire dishwasher with not a single reject! This hasn’t happened since before we were in Amway. In fact it takes at least 2 weeks of running loads through the dishwasher before I got one dish that I had to wash again by hand.

Here’s my price comparison. Amway Legacy of Clean Dish Drops dishwasher tablets 60 in a box for $22.20. That’s .37 cents for each load of dishes that this soap can’t even get the job done and get them clean. I switched to Walmart Great Value dishwasher packs and there’s 85 in a box for $9.97. That’s .12 cents per tablet. As the name says: Great Value! I spend less money and less time washing the dishes a second time by hand after I switched away from Amway’s shitty dish soap!

What about the times I have to wash items by hand? Let me check the cost. Amway Legacy of Clean liquid dish soap in the 33.8 fl oz size costs $9.05. I hate this soap because the suds don’t last and I have to keep adding more soap or draining the sink and starting fresh. I couldn’t get a price on Walmart’s Great Value dish soap not without scrolling through over 1000 items when I did an online search and I didn’t think of looking when I was last in Walmart. I haven’t used it anyway. Couldn’t quite match the size but at Walmart they sell Dawn liquid dish soap in a 30 oz bottle for $4.47. Suds hold up the whole time I’m doing the dishes and it costs half of what Amway’s dish soap cost.

If I use Walmart’s reasonably priced high quality dish soap I save time and money. If I use Amway’s substandard overpriced dish soap I waste time and money.

This one’s a no brainer for me. No more shitty Amway dish soap! Great Value gets this dishes clean the first time around! Yay!

Walmart’s motto? Save money. Live better.

Amway’s motto? Lose money. Live worse.


  1. Funny you mention dishes. When i first moved to canada and many of my friends where involved in amway. They all lived as roomates in some crummy house. I went over and their house is always a f-cking mess with dishes never done,big garbage bag in the kitchen full,flys flying around,etc. I had my own place,no dirty dishes laying around,and privacy. With the amway expenses they could have rented their own apartment. They always claim there's no time to clean up. At the same time they where wasting 3-5 nights a week going to meetings & seminars.

  2. Colin - Amway or not some guys are just slobs! Its not that there's no time they're just lazy. They've also been listening too much to their Platinum who's a male chauvinist pig and convinced them that dishes is women's work. I saw several ambots living in the same house in our line too. Must be a cult thing.

  3. i know! They talk about making diamond/emerald and hiring a maid. Then having a pretty young wife staying home with the kids. Same bs taught by the platinums & up.

  4. Yeah, that way they can reinforce their Scamway walk, talk and thought processes.

  5. Colin - they need a maid because they're too lazy to pick up after themselves! What you heard is typical teachings from a male chauvinist pig cult leader.

  6. Connie - There's nothing more important to an ambot than worshipping the almighty Scamway god.

  7. Ironically, Amway's pitch is often about gaining time and money, but IBOs end up with less of it as a result of Amway.

  8. Joecool - not only do you have less time and money when you're in Amway but after you get out but maybe you still have less money for years later because you're repaying the debt on credit cards or loans. Maybe even less time while you work extra hard to repay the debt that accrued during the time spent investing in Amway.

  9. @Joecool,

    That's just the whole smack truth!

  10. ExAmbot - there's nothing I hate more than washing dishes twice. Well except for attending Amway meetings and throwing money at their scam! Fortunately I no longer use Amway's overpriced low quality dish soap and that's no longer a problem for me!


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