15 Worst Amway Items to Find Under the Christmas Tree

I read an article obviously written by someone with a sense of humor who has a list of the 15 worst items for the holiday wish list from Amazon. http://money.cnn.com/galleries/2011/technology/1112/gallery.weird-amazon/index.html

Oddly enough all of those Amazon items I can absolutely see Amway wanting to get on board and offer the same things to the ambots. Oh sure. IBOFB is going to show up here and claim that Amway already offers cremation services and bags of bones!

So seeing as how every Amway meeting I attended the cult leader would be comparing Amway and Amazon (Amazon rules!) I have taken the opportunity by choosing the 15 worst Amway items to find under the Christmas tree.

What?! Only 15?! I have to stop at 15???!!!!  Shit! How do I narrow it down? Amway has so many shitty overpriced products I’d hate to find any of them under the Christmas tree. So here is my 15 in no particular order and like I say I hate to stop at only 15.

1. XS (Piss Water) Energy Drinks
2. Perfect Water
3. Any kind of Nutrilite vitamin
4. SA8 Laundry Soap
5. Amway Dish Drops dishwasher detergent
6. Amway Trim Advantage
7. Glister toothpaste
8. Satinique shampoo
9. Amway Debut tampons
10. Any kind of Nutrilite food bars
11. Artistry lipstick
12. Nutripet dog food
13. Artistry eye shadow
14. Artistry time defiance cream
15. Any Amway CD

The really scary thing is that when we were in the Amway cult can see my Ambot going out and buying those shitty Amway products to give to me or others as Christmas presents.

Talk about a really fucking nasty surprise when you get up on Christmas morning and see what's under the tree!

The Amway IBO Guide to Wasting Time and Money Washing Dishes

Nobody likes doing dishes. Ambot does not like doing dishes at all. I swear if he was single he’d buy paper plates and plastic cutlery so he could throw them out after he’s done eating! So doing the dishes comes down to me. Big surprise. I bet every woman out there reading this knows what I’m talking about. And what about dishes that do not get put in the dishwasher? The family brings their dirty dishes into the kitchen and puts them in the sink or on the counter above the dishwasher. Why stop when you’re so close? Open up the dishwasher and put them in!

I didn’t always have the luxury of a dishwasher. I started washing the dishes when I was about 5 or 6 years old. I had to bring a chair to the sink so I could reach but I was doing dishes. When I was about 10 my parents got a dishwasher. Probably the first people in the neighborhood to get one of those newfangled devices! Though about 10 years later dishwashers were commonplace in most houses. Every house I’ve owned I’ve had a dishwasher though a couple of places I rented back in the 80’s didn’t have dishwashers and I washed by hand. One thing I learned when I was 10 years old is that not everything can go in the dishwasher. For example my parents good china had to be washed by hand. The silver had to be washed by hand. Crystal has to be washed by hand. Pots and pans that were too big had to be washed by hand. Suffice it to say I’ve had many years experience washing dishes by hand! I’ve also had many years experience of trying out dish soap for both the dishwasher and washing by hand. I know what works and what is a good price.

Enter Amway.

After we signed up the upline rushed around our house with rabid intensity informing Ambot he had all these illegal cleaning products in the house that had to be tossed and immediately replaced with “high quality” Amway products.

One of the items on the Amway mafia hit list was my dish soap and dishwasher soap to be replaced with Amway’s Dish Drops. Kind of a suitable name. I felt like dropping all my dishes after the shitty job the Amway soap did on them!

Here’s how it goes. Fill the dishwasher. Put in Amway’s dishwasher Dish Drops soap. Here its very important to note that we tried the dishwasher powder and the tablets. They both have the same results. Run the dishwasher through its cycle. Open the dishwasher to empty the dishes. First dish out. Dirty! Shit! I hate it when that happens. Cursing away turn the water on in the sink and pour in Amway’s Dish Drops soap. Put the still dirty dish into the sink while its filling with water. Pull another dish out of the dishwasher. Fuck! This one isn’t clean either! Put it in the sink with the other dishwasher reject. Pull a third dish out. Scrutinize this one real carefully. Looks OK. Put it in the cupboard. And so it goes. Half the dishes go in the sink to be washed a second time by hand. The sink is full so turn off the water. Note that Dish Drops is severely lacking in the bubble department. Pour in a little more dish soap and turn the water on again in a futile attempt to get more soap bubbles. Give it up! Next the cutlery. Shit! Dirty fork! Same story. Half go in the sink to be washed again and half are barely clean enough to be put in the drawer. Pull out the top shelf of the dishwasher where the glasses are. Fuck! Half of them are not clean but the sink is already full with dishwasher rejects so I have to put the glasses on the counter and wait their turn to get washed a second time. Making sure Ambot knows how pissed off I am about washing the dishes a second time by hand and punctuating washing the dishes by hand with a lot of shits and fucks from the kitchen I get them done. I have to keep putting more Dish Drops into the sink because the soap suds do not last. I am really pissed. I have never had this problem with any other dish soap.

Repeat over and over and over and over for the entire time we are stuck in Amway hell.

Finally our penance is over! I go to Walmart and buy Great Value dishwasher pucks and toss one in. When the load finishes I start to pull the dishes out the same way I did when we were using Amway dish soap, suspiciously giving them a good look over knowing half of them won’t be clean. But what is this? A clean dish! Victory! I put it on the shelf and give the next dish a good check over. Clean! Wow! I unload the entire dishwasher with not a single reject! This hasn’t happened since before we were in Amway. In fact it takes at least 2 weeks of running loads through the dishwasher before I got one dish that I had to wash again by hand.

Here’s my price comparison. Amway Legacy of Clean Dish Drops dishwasher tablets 60 in a box for $22.20. That’s .37 cents for each load of dishes that this soap can’t even get the job done and get them clean. I switched to Walmart Great Value dishwasher packs and there’s 85 in a box for $9.97. That’s .12 cents per tablet. As the name says: Great Value! I spend less money and less time washing the dishes a second time by hand after I switched away from Amway’s shitty dish soap!

What about the times I have to wash items by hand? Let me check the cost. Amway Legacy of Clean liquid dish soap in the 33.8 fl oz size costs $9.05. I hate this soap because the suds don’t last and I have to keep adding more soap or draining the sink and starting fresh. I couldn’t get a price on Walmart’s Great Value dish soap not without scrolling through over 1000 items when I did an online search and I didn’t think of looking when I was last in Walmart. I haven’t used it anyway. Couldn’t quite match the size but at Walmart they sell Dawn liquid dish soap in a 30 oz bottle for $4.47. Suds hold up the whole time I’m doing the dishes and it costs half of what Amway’s dish soap cost.

If I use Walmart’s reasonably priced high quality dish soap I save time and money. If I use Amway’s substandard overpriced dish soap I waste time and money.

This one’s a no brainer for me. No more shitty Amway dish soap! Great Value gets this dishes clean the first time around! Yay!

Walmart’s motto? Save money. Live better.

Amway’s motto? Lose money. Live worse.

Dreaded Amway products

There were several reasons I didn't want to get involved with Amway again. Some of the reasons:

1. Losing our money
2. Wasting our time
3. Attending lengthy meetings where the same thing was said over and over and over
4. Using nasty Amway products

Of course there were many other reasons, namely our sponsor is an arrogant prick who I've never liked and don't want to spend any time around.

But back to the shitty Amway products.

I do not use vitamins. People who eat healthy meals and follow balanced diets generally do not need supplements. Sure enough the upline told us all these vitamins we "needed" to take. Offers the best PV bang for your buck is what they preached. So our cupboard ended up jam packed with just about every vitamin my Ambot could think to buy.

I never felt any difference taking Amway Nutrilite vitamins. To be fair, no difference taking vitamins from other suppliers either. Maybe because Amway IBO's are running around from one meeting to another they don't have time to stop and cook decent meals and they have to cram in fast foods or not eat at all, they need to use vitamin supplements.

I also hated Amway dish soap, Dish Drops. This comes in a small bottle with a pump dispenser. The thing I hate most about Dish Drops is the bubbles don't last. I'm still washing dishes and I have no soap bubbles. Its not like I have a ton of dishes I wash in the sink. I do have a dishwasher, but I also wash by hand any dishwasher rejects or items that I don't put in the dishwasher. They came in refill sizes, and like the good Ambot my husband was, he stocked up on Dish Drops and we're still using it long after our Amway affiliation has ended.

Amway also sold dishwasher detergent, little white pucks. I hated them too. After every load I'd pull dishes or plates out that I'd call "dishwasher rejects" and then I'd have to wash them by hand with the shitty Dish Drops whose bubbles didn't last. Nasty! If my Ambot husband washed the dishes maybe the shitty Amway products wouldn't have bothered me so much, but he doesn't clean up so I have to. I prefer to use cleaning products that actually work.

I finally had enough of the shitty Amway dishwasher pucks and didn't inform the Ambot when they ran out. Instead I visited a forum and saw a discussion going on about the best dishwasher soap and the overwhelming response went to Wal-Mart's own brand, Great Value, so I decided to give them a try. Its a powder in plastic wrap that disolves during the wash. Wow! What a difference. It actually gets my dishes and glasses clean. I am no longer having the huge stack of dishwasher rejects. In fact its very rare that I'll have to pull aside anything to rewash by hand.

The Ambot noticed I'd switched dishwasher machine detergents and wanted to know why I didn't tell him so he could order more Amway shit. I told him I was fed up with all the dishwasher rejects that I had to wash by hand and told him if he wanted to continue using Amway dishwasher pucks, then he was going to be responsible for hand washing the rejects.

That settled that problem!