Sunday, November 27, 2011

The Secret Knowledge Club - and Wouldn’t You Like to be a Member

Amway is full of secrets. Some would even claim that the secret to financial success can be found by becoming an Amway salesperson.

Our sack of shit Platinum was always lording it over us that he held the secret to becoming successful in Amway even though after 15 or 20  years he still had failed to move on to the hallowed ground of Emerald or Diamond.

But whatever - it was something he gloatingly held over our heads. He held the secret and wouldn’t we want to be in his good books and become a member of this secret knowledge club that he was an esteemed member of and learn from him.

Gag! Puke! Fuck you you sack of shit Platinum. The only knowledge I want from you is how we can quit and get back the money we wasted on Amway.

So what secrets do Amway and their brainwashed ambots hold? Actually that’s too broad a question. Amway the company has all kinds of secrets like how much they’re paying ambots in commission each month and breaking it down into a table so prospects can fully understand the business they’re getting into and potential profits they can expect to receive. Columns broken down into number of ambots earning less than $10 a month Between $10 and $50. Between $50 and $100. And so on though numbers would get scarce around the $50 mark. Also how many Amway products are sold to people who are not registered IBO’s. How many Diamonds there are. How much does each Amway product cost to produce and what is the mark up that ambots get dinged with. Those kind of things.

I’ll leave Amway the company out of this discussion. My blog is all about trashing my upline. If I have to trash Amway in the process so be it but not my primary objective.

So what secrets do our Amway upline hold. Part of the secret knowledge club means knowing how to scam and brainwash others. From what I’ve observed here are some characteristics some of the people in our upline held. Fucking assholes like our sponsor and his sponsor didn’t have these traits. The scary thing is half of these traits are not really all that bad. The difference is the people who like everyone they meet and get along well with others who have no ulterior motive in mind other than being a good friend or a good salesperson as opposed to Amway scammers who are only out to rip off others.

1.      Likeable, personable, ability to relate well with just about everyone.
2.      Have an answer for everything.
3.      Offers expensive coaching, mentoring sessions.
4.      Calmly deal with unhappy customers, downline.
5.      Able to bullshit their way out of any sticky situation.
6.      Good speaker, good rapport with an audience.
7.      Ability to put people at ease.
8.      Good at selling: Amway products, business plan, tickets to functions, etc.

Members of Amway’s secret knowledge club learn the above secrets and how to effectively put them to use so the victim does not realize they’re being scammed. Befriend the victim. Be the victim’s best friend. Convince them to buy overpriced useless Amway products and pay big bucks to attend Amway functions.

Being a member of Amway’s secret knowledge club is learning how to use your powers for evil instead of good.


  1. That's very sad to not make diamond or emerald in 20 years. Was alot easier back then to make diamond without the internet. In 20 years i dont know if amway would still be around.

  2. Colin - it would be sad except in this asshole's case because of the way he treated us. You'd think anyone in Amway for over 10 years and not past Platinum would get a clue. It ain't going to happen. But they just keep listening to their upline who dig it to them saying its their fault they've haven't gotten there, its their fault they're not making the money they expected. They're doing something wrong. They're not trying hard enough, etc.

  3. Maybe he or she isnt even a platinum. Seen quite a few people who wear the same pin who havent qualied for ages.

  4. Colin - they're married but the wife is a very nice person. The only things wrong with her are her involvement in Amway and her shitty taste in men. The asshole Platinum is her husband and he led the meetings. She was rarely there. Probably sick of listening to the male chauvinist abusive pig. They can be in Amway for the rest of their lives and they'll never get any better than falling in and out of Platinum.

  5. The little wifey wasn't there? Blasphemy, says I!

    I missed one board plan in all the years of our amway stint and I'll neve foret the look on our downline's face when I told her I couldn't go. She was incredulous. (daughter had a function that at least one parent had to attend and after years of attending nothing with her b/c of amway, I wasn't missing one more thing) - the amway gods, be damned!

    For a while I quit reading all amway-related blogs b/c I simply couldn't stand the painful memories it brought back. It still hurts so much. I keep hoping daughter has forgotten some of it.

    If all ex-ambots got on line at the same time and told their stories, people would be shocked. Some say it's just a few of us - I say, no, it's about the same percent who actually worked the biz. Being the worker bees in life, it stands to reason that about 20% will make the effort to get the word out.


  6. CT - the Platinum wife was rarely at meetings run by her husband but I saw her at all other Amway events.

    I can see why reading the Amway related blogs can be difficult when it brings back old painful memories of the abuse, financial losses, emotional distress, and anything else that was lost or destroyed thanks to Amway. The reason I write this blog is to let others know they're not alone and this horror happened to me too. I went through hell thanks to Amway. I can only help others when I write down what happened to us. Its a healing process. I'm at the stage where our former upline are people who I don't want anything to do with. I'll always look at them as liars. With the exception of 3 people I really have no ill will to anyone upline. The 3 people are the fucking asshole who sponsored us - but then I've had many years of not liking him prior to Amway, the asshole that sponsored him, and the sack of shit Platinum. These are people who I will never talk to again because of the way they treated us and they scammed us into losing a lot of money. Anyone else in our upline if I ran into them I'd be civil and have a conversation, find out if they're still wasting their time and money in Amway. That kind of thing but I'd never be friends with any of them. They're the type of people whose friendship is for sale.

    Not everyone is going to write about Amway. First off its really embarrassing to admit you had anything to do with the scam. Its also really embarrassing to admit how much money you lost. Its embarrassing to admit you were easily brainwashed by the upline cult leaders.

    I've pretty much run out of stories but sometimes I read something that reminds me of what we went through and I'll write about it. As a new year approaches I'll probably be taking this blog in a different direction but I'll still have a lot of fun making Amway and their IBOs look like a bunch of assholes!

  7. "secret...Amway man", sing it. That's me - a "negative thinker"... embarrassed to have helped line the pockets of phonies like Brad Duncan! But I can vent anonymously, can't I?


  8. Daniel - I guess no one will get that song out of their heads now hunh?

  9. Anna & Daniel;

    Forgive me, please, if I came off unappreciative of this blog. I love this blog. It's my pain relief.

    I could go off on amway all day, every day, and for a while, I did. But I could feel myself living to hate and I hated what it was doing to me.

    I need to forgive those who I believe wronged us in this business; but, I will keep my distance from them.

    A few months ago we received a call from the biggest pin in town telling us how much amway has changed, and 'wouldn't we love to get back in and build it?' Seriously? This tells me they are desparate after 20+ years. They are still on the hamster wheel. No thanks!

    Anna, you keep telling it like it is. This is the first place I go every morning. It's just you, me, and some really strong instant coffee.

    Why do I drink instant? Well, I love the taste; but more importantly, you can't get it from amway. They don't sell instant. I've always wondered why.


  10. CT - you didn't come off unappreciative or anything else to me.

    Everyone needs pain relief from Amway!

    I think Amway has long since accepted there are people out there that don't like them and who hate them. Other companies have the same problem. What compounds Amway is that most people don't draw a line between the actions of Amway IBO's and Amway the company. To dislike or hate one is to dislike/hate the other.

    I dislike our sponsor more than I dislike Amway. Likewise our Platinum. For just about everyone else in our upline it would be the other way around. You're a much better person than I am if you can forgive the people who wronged you in the Amway business. In the case of our upline these were people I did not know before and have no contact with today. In the case of our sponsor I had many years prior experience of disliking him before Amway came up. Amway only deepened that dislike of him. He has never apologized to me or offered to refund any money we lost thanks to his meddling. If he had done so I might have forgiven him. But he's an arrogant prick who never apologizes for anything. He alienates just about everyone he meets on both a personal and business level. He still calls my husband asking him if he knows of any work available.

    Thats incredible that you got a call asking you to get going in Amway again with the big "how much Amway has changed" bullshit. I heard that one before too! Nothing had changed except people were losing more money than they were the last time around!


Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!

If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:
1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.
2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.
3. Naming names? Public figures like politicians and actors and people known in Amway are probably OK – the owners, Diamonds with CDs or who speak at functions, people in Amway’s publicity department who write press releases and blogs. Its humiliating for people to admit their association with Amway so respect their privacy if they’re not out there telling everyone about the love of their life.
4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.
5. Posting something creepy anonymously and we can’t track your location because you’re on a mobile device or using hide my ass or some other proxy. I attracted an obsessed fan and one of my blog administrators attracted a cyberstalker. Lets keep it safe for everyone. Anonymous is OK. Creepy anonymous and hiding – go fuck yourselves!
6. Posting something that serves no purpose other than to cause fighting.
7. Posting bullshit Amway propaganda. We might publish that comment to make fun of you. Otherwise take your agenda somewhere else. Not interested.
8. Notice how this blog is written in English? That's our language so keep your comments in English too. If you leave a comment written in another language then we either have to use Google translate to put it into English so everyone can understand what you wrote or we can hit the Delete button. Guess which one is easier for us to do?
9. We suspect you're a troublemaking Amway asshole.
10. Your comment got caught in the spam filter. Gets checked occasionally. We’ll get to you eventually and approve it as long as it really isn’t spam.