Sunday, December 4, 2011

Top Amway Dreads this Christmas Season (or Year Round)

Consumer Reports has listed American’s Top Dreads this Christmas season:

1. Crowds and long lines: 68 percent
2. Gaining weight: 37 percent
3. Getting into debt: 37 percent
4. Gift shopping: 28 percent
5. Traveling: 25 percent
6. Seeing certain relatives: 24 percent
7. Seasonal music: 23 percent
8. Disappointing gifts: 19 percent
9. Having to attend holiday parties or events: 16 percent
10. Having to be nice: 15 percent
11. Holiday tipping: 12 percent

I looked at that list and realized how it also applies to Amway and the things I dread about Amway.

  1. Crowds - that would be the Amway functions we had to attend. Ambot alert! Brainwashed ambots everywhere! Lining up at the arena doors hours before the function was to begin! Fucking losers!
  2. Weight gain? Hmmm I had a little trouble blaming Amway for this one other than a lot of ambots eat on the run and stop at the drive thru window for fast food because when you’re in Amway and the upline monopolizing all your time and attending Amway events there is no time to shop and prepare decent meals.
  3. Debt - absolutely this will happen in Amway!
  4. Gift giving - yup, having to give away unwanted Amway shit to people you know at Christmas. “Shop from your own store!”
  5. Traveling - gotta bust your ass getting to long distance Amway functions and all the expenses that go along with getting there.
  6. Seeing relatives - you know one big happy Amway family. Amway WWDB Family Reunion sucks! Fuck I hated seeing those Amway “relatives”.
  7. Music - let’s just blame the Goad’s lame ass Amway music.
  8. Disappointing gifts - everything we bought from Amway was disappointing - low quality and high priced.
  9. Attending events - I hated going to Amway meetings, Amway functions, Amway rallies, Amway product launches, etc, etc, etc
  10. Being nice - all those fucking ambots pretending to be nicey nice to everyone when they didn’t really give a shit. I might not have been overly rude to anyone other than our arrogant prick sponsor but I’ve been rude to that fucking asshole for many years but I wasn’t going around being all fakey nicey nice either. I just didn’t like ambots. Liars are not my kind of people.
  11. Tipping - that’s a year round event in Amway and its called buying Amway tools. A big tip goes to the upline when you invest in that scam!
I followed the pattern of the Consumer Reports list when creating my list. But how do I really feel in the order of these particular Amway dreads? Here it is and yes weight gain comes last because that wasn’t something I personally dreaded when it came to Amway but kept it in because I followed the CORE list. Ha ha! Get it?

Amway Christmas dreads in Anna Banana’s order:

  1. Debt
  2. Disappointing gifts (Amway products)
  3. Tipping (the upline)
  4. Attending events
  5. Seeing (Amway) relatives
  6. Being nice
  7. Gift giving (no one wants Amway shit)
  8. Crowds of ambots
  9. Traveling
  10. Music
  11. Weight gain
Those are actually Amway year round dreads but I’m keeping with the holiday season!


  1. And outside of Amway (though Ambots are taught not to think of ANYTHING outside of Amway), when seeing blood relatives on the holidays, the dread part comes from them seeing the Ambots. Everytime their Ambot relative comes moseying over to a group of them talking, they try not to engage in conversation with them for fear of having to hear of the wonders of Amway or getting hustled to look at a catalog or recruited to a meeting.
    Yep, in that case it's the relatives who have the dread when their brainwashed brother/sister/cousin, etc shows up at the family gathering.

  2. Dave - very true. Its bad enough having to put up with a brainwashed Amway cult member but they can't even give up their Amspeak for one day a year. Always prospecting! No thanks. Do not invite ambots over for Christmas.


Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!

If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:
1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.
2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.
3. Naming names? Public figures like politicians and actors and people known in Amway are probably OK – the owners, Diamonds with CDs or who speak at functions, people in Amway’s publicity department who write press releases and blogs. Its humiliating for people to admit their association with Amway so respect their privacy if they’re not out there telling everyone about the love of their life.
4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.
5. Posting something creepy anonymously and we can’t track your location because you’re on a mobile device or using hide my ass or some other proxy. I attracted an obsessed fan and one of my blog administrators attracted a cyberstalker. Lets keep it safe for everyone. Anonymous is OK. Creepy anonymous and hiding – go fuck yourselves!
6. Posting something that serves no purpose other than to cause fighting.
7. Posting bullshit Amway propaganda. We might publish that comment to make fun of you. Otherwise take your agenda somewhere else. Not interested.
8. Notice how this blog is written in English? That's our language so keep your comments in English too. If you leave a comment written in another language then we either have to use Google translate to put it into English so everyone can understand what you wrote or we can hit the Delete button. Guess which one is easier for us to do?
9. We suspect you're a troublemaking Amway asshole.
10. Your comment got caught in the spam filter. Gets checked occasionally. We’ll get to you eventually and approve it as long as it really isn’t spam.