Monday, December 30, 2013

New Year’s Resolution: Quit Amway

Tons of people show up at this blog after searching for “how to quit Amway”. We’ve written about this before but it still amazes me that hundreds of people every week are searching for this answer and there is always a spike in these how to quit Amway around the time of Amway’s major functions. As Dream Night approaches the search engine is going crazy with people typing in “how to quit Amway” or “how to cancel Communikate”. New Year coming making a clean break of this Amway shit. Yay! You go!

Then it gets you thinking. Why do people need instructions on how to quit Amway?
Do people hit the Internet when they want to quit their Costco membership. It’s the same thing. Costco is also a buying club that charges an annual fee to shop at their store.  They’d like you to shop at their store so they can make a profit but if you don’t shop there and all you do is pay the annual fee then at least they’re still making money off you. If you decide not to shop at Costco anymore just don’t renew and pay your annual fee. Then find somewhere else to shop.

Do people go through the same Internet searches when they want to find out how to quit going to the gym? The answer seems logical enough. You don’t get in your car and drive to the gym. The gym still charges you a monthly membership fee whether you show up or not. They don’t care if you show up just as long as they have your money.
It’s the same way with Amway. They’d like you to shop their store so they can make a profit off you but they don’t give a fuck either whether or not you show up just as long as they get your money for the annual membership fee!

With the gym if you don’t want to go no more and you don’t want them to keep charging your credit card every month for the membership fee then you got to talk to the receptionist and fill out a form saying you quit and there is usually a waiting period a month or more so they can get one more payment out of you whether or not you show up to use the gym equipment.
With Scamway the assholes in your upline are always out to get you to pay for the next Amway function while you’re still attending whatever useless shitty brainwashing Amway function you’re currently attending. That’s money in their pocket whether or not you show up. Just try to get a refund if you quit before you go. Those bastards have already spent your money. Tough shit!

You gotta pay a yearly membership fee to keep buying shitty overpriced Amway products. It’s a buyer’s club no different than Costco except I think Costco’s annual fee is cheaper and the prices are better and the products are better and the selection is better than what Amway offers. And Costco isn’t referred to as a cult with a bunch of fucked up cult leaders running around brainwashing people while you're shopping in their store.
Is it really that hard to quit Amway or is the hard part the emotional attachment the ambots have for the assholes in their Amway upline? Some people actually claim to like those bastards and the love bombing they get. They like this expensive social club they belong to that keeps them busy all the time. For those of us who don’t like none of that shit and the shitheads doling it out its no problem walking away.

With the New Year approaching people are making resolutions so how about adding quit Amway to the list and just make a clean break of it. With the New Year resolve not to waste any more money buying shitty overpriced Amway products, attending useless “business” meetings, worshipping the cult leaders in your Amway upline, and spending time with Amway ambots.
So to quit Amway:

1.       Don’t renew your annual membership fee. Or if you already did suck it up and write it off and walk away.

2.      Don’t answer phone calls, texts, emails or the door if its those fucking assholes in your Amway upline.

3.      Don’t listen to Amway’s brainwashing CD’s. Throw that shit out. Same with any Amway books or other bullshit motivational material. Into the garbage!

4.      Don’t buy any more overpriced shitty Amway products. No matter how much bitching the assholes in your Amway upline do. If you don’t buy products the upline don’t make money off you. If you’re on any kind of monthly automatic order system - cancel it or go in and delete everything or make it zero or whatever you have to do to get the order not to arrive.

5.      Change your credit card number if necessary so Amway can’t charge you anything more.

6.      Cancel any of the bullshit business propaganda the assholes in your Amway upline forced you into signing up for : Communikate, premier membership to WWDB, World Wide Dream Builders, or whatever cult sect you belong to. Now that one does take some work in the form of phone calls to get the monthly charges to stop just like the gym thing.

7.      Don’t attend any more Amway brainwashing meetings or functions.

8.      Just say NO if any of the fuckers in your Amway upline harass you to come to meetings or buy Amway products. The insults, abuse and bullying will start because that’s all part of what makes a good Amway cult leader. Hang up the phone or slam the door in the fucker’s face. You don’t have to stand there like a good little ambot and take it.

9.      Once the assholes in your Amway upline realize they won’t make money off you no more they’ll drop you. They’re only your friends as long as you keep forking over money which means they were never friends at all. They will also banish all the other cult followers from having anything to do with you. They think they’re cutting you off when its actually the other way around. You’re cutting them off.

10.   If nothing else just curse them out. Amway assholes are a bunch of prudes and the language will horrify them and they’ll start screeching about don’t say negative.

And there you have it. Make a decision to quit and then follow through by cancelling everything that has to do with Amway out of your lives.
Make that New Year’s resolution stick: Quit Amway! Quit that stinking cult!

And lets send out a big old FUCK YOU to the assholes in the Amway upline who bullied their followers into paying for another years membership to their expensive buying club.
Wishing everyone a prosperous New Year for 2014 and if you`re not squandering your money away in Amway you already are well on your way to prosper!


  1. I have a few I'd like to add:

    11. Lean on friends and family who may not have completely given up on you. These friends will likely be the first ones who walked away, the first to confront you about the problem while you were still in, or the ones who seemed to disappear when they found out about you joining Amway. They liked the 'you' before Amway, and will help you get your life back on track. They can also help fend off the upline better, as they have no connection to them.
    12. Take a 'Fake-ation'. Tell everyone you are going out of town for a week or so. Call off work, if you can afford to, and prepare. Shut off your phone, hide your car, lock your door and take some you time. Watch real movies. Check out 'Believe', hilarious movie to anyone exposed to an MLM, and it is streaming on Netflix as of the time I am writing this. Listen to music. Read a book for the entertainment value. Sleep.
    13. You will have to quit all of the outside activities you shared with your upline. Many of the crazy core IBOs I knew basically did everything but shower and sleep together. This includes church, the gym, hair stylists, etc. It is unfortunate, but these will be the places your former upline will hunt you down to try to make you feel inferior, in hopes you will rejoin. Don't. There are plenty of new options in regards to these activities, unless you work with your upline.
    14. Back to friends, it is likely that your upline absolutely despises one of your former friends, or significant other. You should, undoubtedly, be seen with these people often. Your ex may be a hard sell, but you have been training for hard sells your entire time with Amway.

    There's so much more, but those come to mind. Try to rebuild your former life. If you succeed, your former upline will be green with envy, and hate of course.


    1. Hi Jerry.Those are good ones! Fake-ation sounds like an ambot thing. Everything about them is fake so its no surprise their vacations are too. You mean they don't sleep and shower together? You haven't been to a hotel for an Amway function where the name of the game is how many ambots can you cram in a room. The former upline is envious of everything that other people have - marriages, houses, cars and that's whey they want to destroy everything their cult followers have.

    2. If you're the vengeful type, get your life back together, then head back to those old places. Look at your upline's face as you drive up in a nice, new muscle car and start talking about how you were looking at a cadalac, but it was too "fake" seeming. All shiney with no real power. Seems like you pay so much for a look and get nothing under the hood.

    3. Good ones Nick! Show those ambots how successful you are without Amway. That's not hard to do in a business where only a fraction of 1% make money!

    4. I want to clear up that I have nothing against cadalacs, just trying to compare the ambot's prized cars to their prized jobs

    5. Nick - the ambot shitmobile of choice is usually an old Cadillac that probably looked good 30 or 40 years ago but is now falling apart. The kind if it gets a flat tire is cheaper to abandon it at the side of the road than get it fixed.

    6. 1) it seems I've been spelling cadillac wrong.
      2) Anon: I watched Believe, and it was good. It's an awkward humor, but a fast paced movie. I will agree with your recomendation, everyone go watch this!


Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!

If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:
1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.
2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.
3. Naming names? Public figures like politicians and actors and people known in Amway are probably OK – the owners, Diamonds with CDs or who speak at functions, people in Amway’s publicity department who write press releases and blogs. Its humiliating for people to admit their association with Amway so respect their privacy if they’re not out there telling everyone about the love of their life.
4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.
5. Posting something creepy anonymously and we can’t track your location because you’re on a mobile device or using hide my ass or some other proxy. I attracted an obsessed fan and one of my blog administrators attracted a cyberstalker. Lets keep it safe for everyone. Anonymous is OK. Creepy anonymous and hiding – go fuck yourselves!
6. Posting something that serves no purpose other than to cause fighting.
7. Posting bullshit Amway propaganda. We might publish that comment to make fun of you. Otherwise take your agenda somewhere else. Not interested.
8. Notice how this blog is written in English? That's our language so keep your comments in English too. If you leave a comment written in another language then we either have to use Google translate to put it into English so everyone can understand what you wrote or we can hit the Delete button. Guess which one is easier for us to do?
9. We suspect you're a troublemaking Amway asshole.
10. Your comment got caught in the spam filter. Gets checked occasionally. We’ll get to you eventually and approve it as long as it really isn’t spam.