The Ambot from Ambotsford

I’d been thinking that all ambots should be rounded up and made to live in a town called Amford, a take on Stepford.

But then I got a brainwashed Canadian ambot show up from Abbotsford British Columbia. Then I thought that almost sounds like a perfect town for ambots to live in if I change only one letter and make it -  Ambotsford! Kind of got a nice ring to it. I have a feeling I will attract more traffic from searchers looking for Abbotsford who might not type it correctly into their search engine.

Even though Amway and their supporters deny that Amway IBO’s go around the Internet making assholes out of themselves and insulting critics I know otherwise. As do other bloggers who get insulted by these lowlife scumsucking Amway IBO’s. This is how these people are. I sat in enough Amway cult meetings to know the mentality towards people who are critical of Amway. How dare outsiders - losers and stupid people - topple the pyramid scheme!

No problem with ambots showing up here I’ll let their comments go unless they are racist or incite hate towards anyone for their place of birth or color of their skin. Those scumbucket little Amway bastards don’t seem to get it that when they leave a comment and keywords they help drive traffic to my blog. Not to mention getting laughed at. And cursed out for their trouble. I love swearing at ambots as my former upline can attest to!

Here’s the post I wrote about Fast Track and you can see ambot’s comment at the bottom. Dumb ass ambot in dire need of some Anna Banana style punishment! :

I just turned 20 years old my parents have been in Amway my entire life, when I was 18 I joined Amway myself. All I can say is because of it my mom was able to retire in her twenties and my dad was able to scale back from his engineering career and spend more time with me and my sister while we were growing up. So really what I'm try to say is kiss my ass you miserable bitch HAHAHAHAHAHA

Ah terrific. Another know-it-all 20 year old ambot. Except he don’t know piss all about Amway’s fast track program. Instead of just asking his parents - who apparently have been in Amway for at least 20 years losers that they are and are still dreaming of reaching some pin level of significance - or his upline he has to Google the information he seeks. I think the first lie is that his parents have been wasting their time and money for the past 20 years or so in Amway. Very few are dumb enough to stay in the Amway cult that long! There are a lot of different engineering careers out there so one could surmise that engineers probably make a good enough salary that the wife doesn’t need to work if the couple decide its OK for her to stay home. Its got nothing to do with Amway. So big fucking deal. A lot of women don’t work if they don’t want to and if the husband’s income is sufficient to cover household expenses. And this dumb ass ambot who’s been in Amway for about 2 years is too late to take advantage of Fast Track because its an incentive program for new IBO’s like in the first 3 months of signing up with the Amway cult.

Blogger shows me where my audience is coming from. Now here’s the interesting thing. Most of my readers are from the US. The 2nd most visitors are from Canada. The state with my most readers is Michigan. The highest province of visitors from Alberta. I get some readers from Ontario but rarely from anywhere else in Canada, a few here and there nothing memorable. So on Leap Day 2012 I get this dumb ass smart ass ambot from Ambotsford/Abbotsford using the search criteria for fast track. Never heard of the place - city’s never shown up on my visitor stats before. Then 4 hours later I get another visitor from Ambotsford/Abbotsford with the search criteria “how do I cancel Communikate”. Now I get several searchers each day showing up at my blog after typing in how to cancel Communikate and they end up at this post where one of my commenters helpfully gave the 800 # to cancel it. http://marriedtoanambot.blogspot.com/2011/09/communikate-makes-ibos-superior-over.html

What is the possibility that these are 2 different people. Is it a coincidence that I have 2 visitors from the same previously unknown city that’s never showed up on my blogger stats before rolling in on the same afternoon? I don’t know for sure. The little ambot bastard who left the comment was using a computer at a college so I don’t know if he’s a student or works there. The other ISP was a private line.

Is all hell breaking loose in Ambotsford?

Or did the dumb ass ambot spend the afternoon doing some research and realize he’s an asshole for staying in the Amway cult and is quitting. Or does he just not have enough money to afford the $40/month Communikate fee? The upline cult leaders will be riding his ass for sure either way.

What is Fast Track?

Fast Track =  a bullshit WWDB/Amway program to whip the cult followers into a frenzy of making a few bucks fast.

I might get some ambots showing up to say I’ve got Fast Track all wrong and the criteria has changed but I’ll try to lay it out how our Emerald told us. I found this information courtesy of a cheat sheet that my Ambot wrote notes in about a meeting he attended that he also taped. I have the recording on our computer so I went in to see if I could make some sense of it.

Nope. Its the usual Amway fast talk double talk to excite the audience and confuse them with the facts. Or lack thereof.

Fast Track was on the agenda at the recent Puryear Family Reunion.

If they were calling it Fast Track a few years ago when we were involved in Amway then that tells you times ain’t changing much even though the upline tries to scam everyone by saying “exciting changes are just about to happen”.

So Fast Track ain’t new. It ain’t exciting. It ain’t a change. Its the same old bullshit they were teaching when we were in.

OK the Emerald talked real fast, all the better to confuse us. Seeing as how most of the cult followers in the room were already brainwashed they were able to accept what he said with their usual unconditional love and devotion.

Here is what I heard on the recording. It took me a couple of playbacks to make sure I had it right. Wouldn’t want IBOFB showing up to say I’ve got the facts wrong!

And I could have the facts wrong. Perhaps some Fast Track criteria has changed in the past couple of years.

Hang on to your hats while I try to dissect the mumbo jumbo.

The program called Fast Track has 2 phases. The first phase is referred to as 50/150. The IBO has to create volume, their own personal shopping, and get clients. (Ha ha! Yeah good luck with that!) If the IBO is at least 150 PV (and here the Emerald says $500 in Amway purchases) out of which at least $50 is from clients, the IBO gets an extra $50 bonus.

Wow! Whooppee! How exciting!

Then the Emerald drops the bomb. This Fast Track program is only available to new IBO’s in the first month of being in “the business”. Sucks for all the other IBO’s who have plugging along for months or years. Look around the room. There are no new IBO’s. Just the same cult followers I’ve seen for months.

But wait! The first phase ain’t over yet! In the second month the IBO has to keep the same suckers, err customers, and do the same thing over again for another check for $50. And do it again in the third month. Extra $50/month = $150 total for 3 months.

I’m sure everyone is sitting on the edges of their seats breathlessly waiting to hear about Phase 2 because after all the asshole Emerald said Fast Track has two phases.

OK. Wait for it. You don’t want to go home before this very important information is disclosed.

Phase 2: show 10 people the plan and sign up two of them. (Yeah right. We all know how easy it is to find 10 suckers to show the board plan presentation to let alone sign up 2 of them.) But forget two people. Go for three. Sponsor three people who can do the above 50/150 and the sponsoring IBO will earn an extra $200.

Then the asshole Emerald spends the next five minutes or so going over the numbers if you can find even more people than the three previously mentioned.

You’ll be an Amway gazillionaire by the end of the year! That’s right! Working part time ten to fifteen hours a week in your spare time! Then you’ll never have to work another day in your life! You’ll be walking the beaches of the world and the residual checks will just keep rolling on in forever! It gets even better!!! When you die you can will your Amway business to your spouse or your kids or whoever and they will have residual income for the rest of their lives too! Woo hoo!!! Riches for the descendents forever and ever!!!

Makes you wonder if the Emerald was smoking something funny before he showed up for the meeting!