Monday, March 19, 2012
Ambot Conference 2012
Ha ha! The title of today’s blog comes from a person doing a Google search and typed in “ambot conference Las Vegas 2012”.
OK I’m not going to pick on
for this blog - could be any city - and put my own spin on an ambot conference! Las Vegas
The ambot conference is more commonly referred to as an Amway WWDB World Wide Dream Builder function. There are 4 in the year. Dream Night in January, Spring Leadership in April, Family
Reunion in July, and Free Enterprise Days FED in October. Except for last year when someone at WWDB fucked up and didn’t book it in time and had to move it to November, the first date the arena was available. Some of these functions are held in more than one town.
Forcing ambots to attend the next ambot conference begins around the time the last conference ends. The Amway cult leaders pressure their downline to buy tickets NOW for the next Amway function. Gotta get that tool scam money rolling in for the cult leaders just in case any ambots quit over the next couple of months. So lets get the ticket buying out of the way. Call it $125, though some ambot conferences are more and some are less.
As it gets closer to the big date of the ambot conference the ambot must secure a hotel room. There are usually blocked hotel rooms on the WWDB web page where they’ve secured a group or conference rate. It doesn’t hurt to check with the hotel directly for a better price. Some hotels give good discounts to AAA members. Also some travel websites like http://www.hotels.com/ and http://www.priceline.com/ may get you a better discount. Lets call the hotel room an even $100/night even though some will argue a Motel 6 will be cheaper or the Hyatt will be more expensive, I’m calling it mid range and working with round numbers. Amway WWDB functions are notoriously held on weekends when hotel rooms are generally more expensive.
Lets think about this. Why not hold the function during the week when hotel rooms are cheaper? After all ambots are self employed business owners aren’t they? When you own your own business you can choose the days you take off work.
For argument’s sake lets say the ambot conference is held in a city that takes 5 hours to drive to. So that means the ambot gets driving sometime in the morning. Oh. Got to fill the car with gas. $50 down the hatch and the ambot is only a few miles down the road. After a couple of hours ambot is hungry and thirsty. Got to stop for lunch. There’s a Denny’s! Lets call it 2 people eating lunch because ambot has probably dragged the wife along. Lunch comes to $30 for a couple of burger plates and sodas and tip.
An hour down the road car is thirsty again. Drop another $50 into the gas tank.
Finally reach the hotel mid to late afternoon. Got a couple of free hours before the Friday night portion of the ambot conference gets underway. During this time dinner is required. No Denny’s in sight but the hotel either has a restaurant or there’s one nearby a little more expensive than Dennys. Lets say dinner costs $40 for 2.
Yikes! Ambots have already spent $170 in gas and food!
Add in the conference tickets ($250 for 2 people) and 2 nights hotel that is prepaid for ($200) and thats another $450 and they haven’t even stepped inside the ambot conference yet.
Friday night at the ambot conference is a bunch of patriotic rah rah get the crowd hyped up brainwashing stuff. But the ambot still has to put in 5 hours - arriving early to stand in line before door opens and sitting in the auditorium until around midnight getting brainwashed by the cult leaders.
Ambot is hungry again. Good thing there’s a 24 hour McDonald’s drive thru on the way back to the hotel. $15 for late night snack for 2 people bringing today’s expenses for food and gas up to $185. Need some nourishment for the Night Owl that the sack of shit Platinum has commanded all his cult followers to attend.
Saturday morning breakfast! Call it another $30 for 2 people. Maybe they drive around town until they find an IHOP or Dennys.
Saturday at the ambot conference is spent listening to a bunch of greedy Amway Diamonds yap about “the business” - without ever giving any concrete advice and trying to avoid mentioning the “A” word - and showing pictures and videos of their mansions, sports cars, private airplanes, luxury vacations, etc all while taunting the audience “wouldn’t you like to have what we have?” This part of the ambot conference drags on again until midnight, though there’s a 2-3 hour break for ambots to leave and scrounge up dinner, there is no break at lunch time. Ambots are forced to buy food from the arena’s expensive concessions or be bad little ambots and leave the building to scout out nearby eating establishments.
Dinner and quasi lunch for 2 people? Lets call it $50. And don’t forget that $15 midnight stop at McDonalds on the way back to the hotel because the ambots are going to be hungry going into the Night Owl.
So thats $95 in food on Saturday.
Sunday morning at the ambot conference? Why yes there is a church sermon! Gotta be there so that means grabbing breakfast at the hotel’s restaurant for another $30. Then off to the ambot version of church, like there wasn’t already a good serving of religion all day Saturday and on Friday night. Cults use religious terms as part of brainwashing techniques.
Just as an aside - normal business keep religion out of the workplace.
Find a restaurant nearby for lunch after the ambot church service. Call it another $30. What happens on Sunday afternoon at the ambot conference? Why more of the same of course! This is just a long winded several hour wrap up of the last 2 days. The cult leaders tell their followers to buy more motivational materials - tool scam sales last were a little low! Oh and don’t forget to buy more more MORE Amway products.
The ambot conference is finally over! Now for the drive home. Lets call the gas and stop at a restaurant for dinner the same price as it cost on Friday - $170.
The ambot conference has cost $960, but lets just round it up to $1000 because the ambots probably bought a book or CD while they were inside the ambot conference. Out of that $250 went for ambot conference tickets, the bulk of which would be absorbed by the Diamonds running the show. $750 for incidental expenses to attend an ambot conference?
What a waste of money!
I can’t even think of any rock star that I’d be willing to shell out a thousand bucks in tickets and incidentals and make it a 3 day mission to get there and back.
Nope I wouldn’t even spend that on airfaire, hotel, and food to fly to DC to meet up with George Clooney at the Sudanese embassy!