What to do in Denver Colorado instead of Amway WWDB Spring Leadership 2012

This post about the things to do in Denver Colorado instead of attending Amway WWDB Spring Leadership 2012 is partly borrowed from last year’s post about things to do in Denver during Free Enterprise Days (FED) 2011.

This year the Amway conference WWDB Spring Leadership will be held in Denver at the Colorado Convention Center April 28 and 29 2012.

Keeping up with my theme of finding better and lower priced things to do in cities holding Amway functions, instead of going to the brainwashing convention I’ve tried to round up a few fun things to do in Denver Colorado. Most of the fun things seem to involve driving out of Denver and hitting the ski slopes! Hmm end of April may be a little late for skiing. I’ll see what else I can find.

Who saw the movie Cliffhanger? The Denver Mint was featured in it transporting out of circulation money. Hijacking and plane crashes and action packed scenes. So the United States Mint is a good choice. And its free! Woo hoo! Sucks that you can’t bring your purse into this place. Where you gonna stash some cash! I love that you are allowed to bring your cell phone inside but if you whip it out you will be escorted out by Mint Security. If ambots are visiting they’d have to call in extra security to escort out those damned ambots because of their fuck you I’m better than everyone else attitude and I’ll use my fucking cell phone if I want to! http://www.usmint.gov/mint_tours/index.cfm?action=StartReservation

Coors Brewery Tour - Free tour. Free beer tasting. Need I say anything else? Here’s the website for more info. http://www.millercoors.com/golden-brewery-tour.aspx

Denver Zoo - Oh how I love a zoo! As long as its not the Amway zoo! It is nice that most of the places Amway holds functions have a zoo. Coin toss! Should I visit the baboons at the Denver Zoo or the baboons stomping across the stage at Amway WWDB Spring Leadership? Admission is $15 or slightly cheaper if you’re over 65 years or younger than 12 years. A couple could spend a day at the zoo and go out for a really nice dinner all for less than the cost of one $125 ticket to Spring Leadership. http://www.denverzoo.org/

Denver Art Museum - if you’re into looking at works of art this is the place to be. It costs $13 or slightly cheaper if you’re a Colorado resident. Where’s that coin for the toss? Museum or zoo? Goodbye Picasso hello lions. http://www.denverartmuseum.org/

Wings Over The Rockies Air and Space Museum - I’ve visited a few aircraft museums and this is something I’d consider seeing as how I still haven’t gotten over the Spruce Goose being moved out of Long Beach! Not that goosie is in Colorado. I think it went somewhere in Oregon. Admission is $11. Slightly cheaper if you’re over 65 or under 12. http://www.wingsmuseum.org/

Molly Brown House Museum - If you’re a Titanic trivia buff you’ll enjoy this museum where the unsinkable Molly Brown lived. Admission is $8, slightly cheaper for other age groups. But April is the month to be here because to honor the 100 year anniversary of the disaster all month long they are having Titanic Tours - cost $10.  Lets see. We have our choice. Going to an evening of Amway horrors for $125 or going to a place where someone lived through the horrors of the sinking Titanic. I know which one I’m choosing! http://www.mollybrown.org/

Want to do some shopping? Denver’s 16th Street Mall is a much better place to spend the day than stuck inside an auditorium listening to a bunch of aging Diamonds who use Amway functions to make their real money. Free shuttle buses and free Wifi anywhere up and down the pedestrian mall. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/16th_Street_Mall

WWDB Amway Spring Leadership sucks!

And there are better things to do in Denver than attend a fucking Amway function!

Ambot Conference 2012

Ha ha! The title of today’s blog comes from a person doing a Google search and typed in “ambot conference Las Vegas 2012”.

OK I’m not going to pick on Las Vegas for this blog - could be any city - and put my own spin on an ambot conference!

The ambot conference is more commonly referred to as an Amway WWDB World Wide Dream Builder function. There are 4 in the year. Dream Night in January, Spring Leadership in April, Family Reunion in July, and Free Enterprise Days FED in October. Except for last year when someone at WWDB fucked up and didn’t book it in time and had to move it to November, the first date the arena was available. Some of these functions are held in more than one town.

Forcing ambots to attend the next ambot conference begins around the time the last conference ends. The Amway cult leaders pressure their downline to buy tickets NOW for the next Amway function. Gotta get that tool scam money rolling in for the cult leaders just in case any ambots quit over the next couple of months. So lets get the ticket buying out of the way. Call it $125, though some ambot conferences are more and some are less.

As it gets closer to the big date of the ambot conference the ambot must secure a hotel room. There are usually blocked hotel rooms on the WWDB web page where they’ve secured a group or conference rate. It doesn’t hurt to check with the hotel directly for a better price. Some hotels give good discounts to AAA members. Also some travel websites like http://www.hotels.com/ and http://www.priceline.com/ may get you a better discount. Lets call the hotel room an even $100/night even though some will argue a Motel 6 will be cheaper or the Hyatt will be more expensive, I’m calling it mid range and working with round numbers. Amway WWDB functions are notoriously held on weekends when hotel rooms are generally more expensive.

Lets think about this. Why not hold the function during the week when hotel rooms are cheaper? After all ambots are self employed business owners aren’t they? When you own your own business you can choose the days you take off work.

For argument’s sake lets say the ambot conference is held in a city that takes 5 hours to drive to. So that means the ambot gets driving sometime in the morning. Oh. Got to fill the car with gas. $50 down the hatch and the ambot is only a few miles down the road. After a couple of hours ambot is hungry and thirsty. Got to stop for lunch. There’s a Denny’s! Lets call it 2 people eating lunch because ambot has probably dragged the wife along. Lunch comes to $30 for a couple of burger plates and sodas and tip.

An hour down the road car is thirsty again. Drop another $50 into the gas tank.

Finally reach the hotel mid to late afternoon. Got a couple of free hours before the Friday night portion of the ambot conference gets underway. During this time dinner is required. No Denny’s in sight but the hotel either has a restaurant or there’s one nearby a little more expensive than Dennys. Lets say dinner costs $40 for 2.

Yikes! Ambots have already spent $170 in gas and food!

Add in the conference tickets ($250 for 2 people) and 2 nights hotel that is prepaid for ($200) and thats another $450 and they haven’t even stepped inside the ambot conference yet.

Friday night at the ambot conference is a bunch of patriotic rah rah get the crowd hyped up brainwashing stuff. But the ambot still has to put in 5 hours - arriving early to stand in line before door opens and sitting in the auditorium until around midnight getting brainwashed by the cult leaders.

Ambot is hungry again. Good thing there’s a 24 hour McDonald’s drive thru on the way back to the hotel. $15 for late night snack for 2 people bringing today’s expenses for food and gas up to $185. Need some nourishment for the Night Owl that the sack of shit Platinum has commanded all his cult followers to attend.

Saturday morning breakfast! Call it another $30 for 2 people. Maybe they drive around town until they find an IHOP or Dennys.

Saturday at the ambot conference is spent listening to a bunch of greedy Amway Diamonds yap about “the business” - without ever giving any concrete advice and trying to avoid mentioning the “A” word - and showing pictures and videos of their mansions, sports cars, private airplanes, luxury vacations, etc all while taunting the audience “wouldn’t you like to have what we have?” This part of the ambot conference drags on again until midnight, though there’s a 2-3 hour break for ambots to leave and scrounge up dinner, there is no break at lunch time. Ambots are forced to buy food from the arena’s expensive concessions or be bad little ambots and leave the building to scout out nearby eating establishments.

Dinner and quasi lunch for 2 people? Lets call it $50. And don’t forget that $15 midnight stop at McDonalds on the way back to the hotel because the ambots are going to be hungry going into the Night Owl.

So thats $95 in food on Saturday.

Sunday morning at the ambot conference? Why yes there is a church sermon! Gotta be there so that means grabbing breakfast at the hotel’s restaurant for another $30. Then off to the ambot version of church, like there wasn’t already a good serving of religion all day Saturday and on Friday night. Cults use religious terms as part of brainwashing techniques.

Just as an aside - normal business keep religion out of the workplace.

Find a restaurant nearby for lunch after the ambot church service. Call it another $30. What happens on Sunday afternoon at the ambot conference? Why more of the same of course! This is just a long winded several hour wrap up of the last 2 days. The cult leaders tell their followers to buy more motivational materials - tool scam sales last were a little low! Oh and don’t forget to buy more more MORE Amway products.

The ambot conference is finally over! Now for the drive home. Lets call the gas and stop at a restaurant for dinner the same price as it cost on Friday - $170.

The ambot conference has cost $960, but lets just round it up to $1000 because the ambots probably bought a book or CD while they were inside the ambot conference. Out of that $250 went for ambot conference tickets, the bulk of which would be absorbed by the Diamonds running the show. $750 for incidental expenses to attend an ambot conference?

What a waste of money!

I can’t even think of any rock star that I’d be willing to shell out a thousand bucks in tickets and incidentals and make it a 3 day mission to get there and back.

Nope I wouldn’t even spend that on airfaire, hotel, and food to fly to DC to meet up with George Clooney at the Sudanese embassy!

If You Dream It You Can Have It

One of the bullshit phrases I used to hear at Amway meetings was “If you can dream it you can have it.”

Amway sells dreams of wealth and greed. Puts hope into the hearts of the cult followers that this phrase might actually come true for them.

“If you can dream it you can have it” sounds more like it should be a slogan for the Powerball lottery. The chances of winning the lottery are probably better than ever becoming an Amway Diamond!

Unfortunately this weekend at FED many ambots are being told something to the effect of was “If you can dream it you can have it”. This will be brainwashed into them relentlessly until they are programmed to believe that Amway is the only way their dreams can come true.

There are all kinds of things I dream about but I know these dreams won’t come true.

I can dream that I’m a few inches smaller but its never going to happen.

I can dream that I’m fluent in 5 languages but seeing as how I have enough trouble just with English I doubt that dream will ever come true for me.

I can dream of climbing Mount Everest but that won’t happen because I have trouble breathing at high altitudes.

I can dream of walking around the Grand Canyon Skywalk but I think that would creep me out.

I can dream I’m 25 years old again but I don’t think I’ll ever see it happen!

I can dream of camping on Alcatraz but I doubt the Parks Service will let me do that.

I can dream about owning spiders but that would creep me out even more than the skywalk!

I can dream that I’m married Brad Pitt. Who knows? I might still fit that in before I die!

The point is there are all kinds of things that people can dream about and the dreams will never come true, whether or not money is a barrier. Most of the things I mentioned can be done on the cheap. I think the Everest expedition costs some big bucks but costs aside no matter how much I dream I’m standing on the peak I would arrive to the base camp and not be able to ascend.

What do ambots motivated by greed dream about? Big houses, sports cars, sailboats, luxury vacations. The things their Diamond cult leaders taunt them with from the stage. The ambots want what their cult leaders have. They dream about becoming a Diamond which is a rare occurrence in Amway and having all kinds of money to blow. Not likely. Amway’s own literature shows Diamonds with an annual income of around $150,000. Not too bad but they have to pay taxes, have a huge mortgage on a home they spent too much money buying, loans for those luxury sports cars. They spend a lot of money keeping up a phony illusion that they have more money than they really do.

No matter how badly the ambots dreaming of acquiring all these material possessions and retiring early while residual income keeps rolling in from Amway, it is unlikely to happen. It might happen if they focused their energy on something that has a greater chance of success than less than 1%.

If you dream it you can have it, the slogan that’s been ingrained into us. Right now the only thing I dream about is Amway being shut down for good so this evil company and its evil cult leaders can’t hurt anyone anymore.

So what do you think? The Diamonds said if I can dream it I can have it.

Or is this just further proof those Diamonds are a bunch of liars?

Amway WWDB Free Enterprise Days in Portland November 4 2011

Coming up this weekend November 4 to 6 2011 is the second Amway WWDB Free Enterprise Days being held in Portland Oregon. Usually this Amway function is held in October so it would appear that someone working in WWDB administration fucked up and was too late booking the event!

This post really serves no purpose other than to misdirect IBO’s who are frantically searching for information on how they will be brainwashed by their cult leaders. Unfortunately WWDB and Amway are secretive about the information and my blog has high hits for just about every search imaginable so IBO’s can come here to read the truth. Some of those ambots are gluttons for punishment and find it necessary to post a brainwashed amspeak comment. Makes one wonder what they’re doing hanging around a website that their cult leaders would consider negative. A huge no no for ambots. They must not find out the truth about their beloved cult!

The ambots will make their pilgrimage in whatever transportation to Portland and likely violate hotel rules by packing a room with cult followers bunking together to save money. They’ll put on business suits and head to the arena early so they can stand in line for hours to make sure they get the best seat in the house. They’ll turn off their cell phones and turn on their recording devices and play make belief that they are important business owners. They’re losing their money, losing their sanity, and losing their families. Their cult leaders will tell them that they are winners simply by the fact that they showed up. The Diamonds must keep their cult followers motivated so they’ll keep spending their money on useless functions that provide fake training that never results in more Amway sales or recruiting more ambots. At the very least the cult leaders must convince their flock to buy their tickets to Dream Night. NOW. The Diamonds can use a little extra Christmas cash.

The ambots will spend the weekend being brainwashed - check out some of my posts over the past couple of months for FED reviews. This post is just to throw in some key words to screw up the brainwashed ambots who can’t find the information they need from World Wide Dream Builders or Amway.

FED Up This Weekend in Denver Colorado

Yup its getting closer. Amway WWDB Free Enterprise Days will be held in Denver Colorado October 21 to 23 2011.

Those of you who’ve been reading my blog long enough know this is yet another post to misdirect IBO’s who are desperately seeking information about this bullshit Amway World Wide Dream Builders function.

Anna Banana can’t help it that she’s so popular that the Married to an Ambot blog is right up there at the top of the search engines!

Anna Banana can’t help it that Amway and WWDB are so highly secretive that they make it so very difficult for their little ambots to find the information they urgently seek and force them to read my blog to find out the truth!

So the brainwashed ambots will descend upon Denver and give their money to their cult leaders who say the same old bullshit over and over no matter how many functions you attend. Ken and Barbie will slink across the stage dressed as if they’re attending the last formal night in the dining room on the Titanic. Their ship is sinking fast so they’ve got to scramble to find something to say to motivate the ambots in attendance and scam them out of more money. How about boring the brainwashed ambots with their life story. Oh goodie. We already heard the life story of the last 4 rat-faced Ken and Barbies ahead of you and every one of you bastards has the same story. Barbie was working a minimum wage job as a waitress at Denny’s. Ken was pumping out portaporties. They were renting an apartment in a building next to the train tracks and every time the L went past their pictures rattled off the walls and all the dishware shattered. Then one day a dear friend showed them the Amway business plan and they signed up and started being brainwashed by Amway cult leaders. Their first major function came up and they couldn’t afford to go. Someone loaned them $20 to buy gas and they loaded the car up with Amway snacks and slept in it while attending the function. They sucked up to everyone in their upline to learn their secrets. The recruited others into the pyramid scheme. They scammed their downline out of their money. They destroyed the lives of everyone they met. None of that mattered in their greedy quest to pay cash for mansions, jets, yachts, sports cars, and luxury vacations. Now look at them and how far they’ve come from that shitty apartment they used to live in. Their message to the masses: “You cult followers better pay attention to how we are liars and scammers and have no morals and don’t give a shit about anyone else and if you do what we do then one day you can walk across the stage with us.”

Puke city!

Why do all you bastards have the same story? Do you have bad memories and don’t remember telling your life story over and over so many times that everyone copies from each other and nobody really remembers what they used to do and where they used to live when all those lies roll into one? I didn’t find the story exciting the first time it was told nor did I find it thrilling the next fifty times with subtle variations from each Ken and Barbie.

Telling the same old story over and over again.....

Bad memories?

Annoying behavior?

Brainwashing techniques?

Not Living the Amway Nightmare

I am one of the lucky ones who got away from the evil clutches of the Amway cult. Though these evil bastards had their clutches into Ambot and never me I suffered greatly through financial and emotional distress that those Amway assholes brought into our lives.

However I lived to tell about it and here we are at my blog. Getting the story of how I suffered at the hands of those evil Amway IBO’s helps others who are struggling within the evil grip of this cult.

One of the things I always heard at Amway meetings from one of the cult leaders was that they wake up and get out of bed when they’re done sleeping and wouldn’t the rest of us like to do that too.

Some of us already do that and have been doing that for many years. I wake up when I’m done sleeping. I’m usually done before 8am! I’ve got things to do and I need to haul my ass out of bed and get going.

I often heard Amway cult leaders talk about their last day at a regular job and how they busted their alarm clock. I bet soon enough they’ll regret that childish little move!

Just because I’m used to waking up whenever doesn’t mean I never set my alarm clock. I frequently get called upon to drive people to the airport. Oh yeah lets call Anna for a ride she doesn’t have anything better to be doing anyway. And what’s with everybody I know who seem to book flights for 7 or 8 in the morning????  That means hauling my sorry ass out of bed around 5am and I definitely have to set the old alarm clock for that one!

This weekend is Free Enterprise Days in Denver Colorado. There’s another FED in Portland Oregon early November. These two cities are a pain in the ass to access from eastern and southern parts of the US. I’m not talking about flying in because I think both these cities have decent airports and Denver is a major airline hub but anyone taking flights in is probably going to be frantically searching for an alarm clock to make sure they get out of bed in time to make their flight. I would say IBO’s in states adjacent to Colorado can drive there. Maybe. A friend of mine in Colorado said they already had snow a couple of weeks ago. So maybe a day’s drive to get to Denver. Maybe two days if you live a little further out. I’d think if it was a 2 day drive by the time you add up the cost of gas, wear and tear on the car, one night at a hotel on the road, and meals it would probably be cheaper to fly in.

My point is that those poor cult followers going to Denver are likely having to set their alarm both while on the road and while in their Denver hotel to make sure they wake up in time to get to the cult meetings.

So why all this interest in alarm clocks and waking up? Yup you guessed it. Keeping up with my usual wake up when I’m done sleeping today I slept in and I missed a couple of things I wanted to do!

Ambot’s advice? Tomorrow I should set my alarm clock!

Amway WWDB Free Enterprise days and Ganesh and Neha Shenoy

Is it any coincidence that when a major function is coming up that I see a spike in searchers coming to my blog seeking information about Ganesh and Neha Shenoy?

This happened around Family Reunion too. http://marriedtoanambot.blogspot.com/2011/07/amway-wwdb-family-reunion-and-ganesh.html

Ambots can’t mind their own business!

Those Shenoys are in 7 of my top 10 searches on my blog over the past couple of days!

Ganesh Shenoy Divorce

Ganesh and Neha Shenoy Divorce

Neha Shenoy Divorce

Ganesh and Neha Shenoy

Ganesh and Neha Shenoy to split

Ganesh Neha Shenoy divorce

Why Ganesh and Neha Shenoy divorce

The other top searches all have to do with Free Enterprise Days and one fool who was searching for Amway WWDB Family Reunion 2011 and then when he realized he’s a few bricks short of a load did another search 30 seconds later for FED and returned to a different post on my blog. Lately there’s a lot of interest in Amway dog food. I’m always happy to get the truth out there and help out those searching for more information. http://marriedtoanambot.blogspot.com/2010/10/amway-dog-food.html

At least I hope my searchers are getting a big clue to buy another brand of dog food!

As for the Ganesh and Neha Shenoy divorce ongoing saga its really no one else’s business but you can expect for sure their upline Diamond made it their business. No matter the lies you get told about how Amway saves marriages it just ain’t true. Amway causes emotional and financial distress. Marriage is stressful enough without having to share your bed with Amway. Not to mention a bunch of troublemaking upline who can’t mind their own business and pry into your private life. Its very difficult for a marriage to deal with that kind of stress and the constant lying while you’re ruining lives with your Amway scam.

If Ganesh and Neha Shenoy decide its anyone else’s business why they split up I’m sure they’ll issue a statement for publication on the Internet. If they don’t talk about their marriage breakdown get a clue. It ain’t none of your business! Stop desperately searching for information that has nothing to do with you. I’d say get a life but I realize you’re in Amway and that means your life is controlled by your upline. Get out before what happened to Ganesh and Neha happens to you too!

What to do in Portland instead of Free Enterprise Days

Amway WWDB is holding Free Enterprise Days in Portland Oregon November 4 to 6 2011.

OK for the most part I’m just copying and pasting from an article I published for Family Reunion.

Sorry Portland! I think I already covered what I deem to be your highlights last time!

However I read a recent article about the top 10 cities for foodies and surprisingly enough to me Portland Oregon was on the list.

Super-green Portland has earned a reputation for its farm-to-table dining, well-crafted microbrews, and 200-odd food trucks. To get a sampling of the most popular — including Namu, excellent Korean-Hawaiian fusion — check out the food truck “pods” at Pioneer Courthouse Square or at SE Hawthorne and 12th Avenue. And don’t be fooled by the notion that these Oregonians are totally health-conscious: another culinary must-stop is Voodoo Doughnuts for its bacon-topped maple bar and the breakfast-cereal-crusted “Captain My Captain.”

The original article is here. http://travel.yahoo.com/p-interests-40686622

Voodoo Doughnuts! Sounds like my kind of place! A little Google search and I found the web page. http://voodoodoughnut.com/index.php 

Over 90 different donuts! I want one of those Voodoo doll donuts! I get a lot of searchers for “Amway sex” finding their way to Anna Banana’s blog. Maybe because these ambots aren’t getting any because they’re never home!? Voodoo Doughnuts can  help those obsessed with Amway sex with the donut creation Cock-N-Balls. I would have liked to copy and paste some of their images here but they’ve got some code in their web page that prevents me from copying their donut pictures.

A Google search tells me that Portland has a lot of museums and Oriental inspired gardens and parks. Not really my thing but certainly if someone held a gun to my head and told me to choose between going to an Amway WWDB function or a museum, I’d go to the The Hat Museum.  Admission is $15, way cheaper than being bored to death by a bunch of aging Diamonds ripping off IBO’s.

No one will want to miss the Church of Elvis. Its in the store window of a shop in Chinatown. Has a coin operated movie that you can plug from the sidewalk. So I’d call it nearly free. Spooky coincidence that the poor bastards attending FED will also be up and about pretty much 24 hours a day because the brainwashing techniques work better on sleep deprivation. I’d rather hear what the Church of Elvis movie has to say at 2 in the morning than the sack of shit Platinum!

House Spirits Distillery tour and tasting. Yummy! Have to be 21. There is a fee for tasting but if you buy a bottle it will be waived. This will make you forget about those nasty Amway IBO’s!

Widmer Brothers Brewing  Free tour. Free beer. Need I say more?

The Oregon Zoo  Adult admission is $10.50. A little cheaper for other age groups. It’ll be fun to visit the bear exhibit and imagine feeding your upline to the grizzlies!

For anyone really interested in visiting Portland, Oregon and doing tourist attraction things see Trip Advisor http://www.tripadvisor.com/Attractions-g52024-Activities-Portland_Oregon.html#TtD for suggestions. Most attractions are museums and parks.

What to do in Denver Colorado instead of attending Free Enterprise Days 2011

Keeping up with my theme of finding better and lower priced things to do in cities holding Amway functions, I’ve tried to round up a few fun things to do in Denver Colorado where Amway WWDB will be holding Free Enterprise Days from October 21 to 23 2011. Most of the fun things seem to involve driving out of Denver and hitting the ski slopes! Hmm October may be a little early for skiing. I’ll see what else I can find.

Denver Zoo - Ah the prerequisite zoo! Don’t most of the places Amway holds functions have a zoo? Coin toss! Should I visit the baboons at the Denver Zoo or the baboons stomping across the stage at Amway WWDB FED? There’s actually a free day at the zoo on October 20 2011 the day before FED starts. Admission is a reasonable $13 or slightly cheaper if you’re over 65 years or younger than 12 years. A couple could spend a day at the zoo and go out for a really nice dinner all for less than the cost of one $125 ticket to FED. http://www.denverzoo.org/

Denver Art Museum - if you’re into looking at works of art this is the place to be. It costs the same amount of money as the zoo. Slightly cheaper if you’re a Colorado resident. Where’s that coin for the toss? Museum or zoo? Goodbye Picasso hello lions. http://www.denverartmuseum.org/

Wings Over The Rockies Air and Space Museum - I’ve visited a few aircraft museums and this is something I’d consider seeing as how I still haven’t gotten over the Spruce Goose being moved out of Long Beach! Not that its in Colorado. I think it went somewhere in Oregon. Admission is $11. Slightly cheaper if you’re over 65 or under 12. http://www.wingsmuseum.org/

Molly Brown House Museum - If you’re a Titanic trivia buff you’ll enjoy this museum where the unsinkable Molly Brown lived. Admission is $8, slightly cheaper for other age groups. But the good news is if you’re in Denver for FED on Friday and Saturday night October 21 and 22 from 6pm to 9pm the house is hosting an evening called Victorian Horrors. Lets see. We have our choice. Going to an evening of Amway horrors for $125 or going to an evening of Victorian horrors for $15. I know which one I’m choosing! http://www.mollybrown.org/

Elitch Gardens - October is Fright Fest month at the theme park. Tickets are $42.99 if you’re over 4 feet tall. Lower prices if you’re shorter or over age 62. A little pricey but still costs less than going to Free Enterprise Days. So you’ve got your choice. Fright Fest at an amusement park or fright fest listening to Amway Diamonds! http://elitchgardens.com/frightfestdenver

Want to do some shopping? Denver’s 16th Street Mall is a much better place to spend the day than stuck inside an auditorium listening to a bunch of aging Diamonds who use Amway functions to make their real money. Free shuttle buses and free Wifi anywhere up and down the pedestrian mall. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/16th_Street_Mall

Amway WWDB Free Enterprise Days 2011 Itinerary Schedule

I’ve already mentioned in previous posts that Amway World Wide Dream Builders is holding Free Enterprise Days in Denver Colorado October 21 to 23 2011 and in Portland Oregon November 4 to 6 2011.

Seeing as how WWDB hasn’t yet changed their log on and password information (guest and dream) we can all take a peak at Amway functions.

They’re being secretive (big surprise!) about pricing and hotels making this information only available to ambots who are paying $50/month for Premier Membership. So to get my facts right here I have to look back to my profit and loss sheet. Or more aptly titled - loss sheet!

Tickets cost $125 each. Yeah that was the cheap part. Travel, food, and hotel cost $850.

I’m going to paraphrase so I don’t get accused of copyright infringement. FED is touted as celebrating opportunity and freedom in countries built on the free enterprise system. Hunh? Anyone know what the fuck that’s supposed to mean? Seems kind of discriminatory if you come from a country not built on it! And how do you know one way or the other what your country was built on unless you’re the oldest living person in the US at 500+ years old! Then the usual bullshit about building your own business, staying motivated, and seeing your dreams come true.

Yup. Selling the dream. Selling the hope instead of the soap.

So what happens at FED? On Friday night a big rah rah ceremony celebrating the armed forces. I’m all for supporting our military forces but it comes off totally phony at an Amway function. Nothing wrong with celebrating our patriotism except when its done with a company thats a pyramid scheme. Some “patriotic” dude named Rick Green - does anyone know who the hell he is anyway? - will teach about free enterprise. I guess he’s getting well paid because he’s doing it in both cities. Afterwards Diamond speakers will talk about building “the business”. Well that’ll be a first. They never talked about that at the FEDs I went to! They all jabbered about being poor and then they saw the Amway business plan and set their goals on a mission to destroy people and rip them off and now they live in mansions and walk the beaches of the world while residual income rolls in for the rest of their lives. I don’t recall what time the Friday night bullshit session got under way. Eight? That’s the typical witching hour for ambots. Goes on until about midnight. Then expect your upline to order you to attend at least one night owl. You can either be an obedient little IBO and go to the night owl and crawl back to your hotel room around 4am to catch some sleep or do what I do and say fuck you I’m tired and going to bed. I’ve already spent enough time with you lousy bastards anyway.

On Saturday there’s more of the same except the patriotism. Diamond speakers will share about building a Scamway business. And then as if anyone actually gives a flying fuck a bunch of double eagle rubies will keep the ambots motivated to get to where they are. Where the hell do they come up with these phony ass titles that brainwashed ambots ooh and ahh over? Again I don’t recall what time the bullshit session gets under way. Around 9am? When we arrived huge line ups of brainwashed ambots had been waiting in front of the arena doors for hours like they think they’re going to see Mick Jagger maybe? There is no lunch break. Ambots are expected to bring their own snacks such as XS piss water and shitty Amway food bars so that way they don’t need to leave the auditorium to get food. Yeah to hell with what you cult leaders say. If I’m hungry I’m going out to forage for real food. The session breaks down late in the afternoon around 4 or 5 and breaks until 8pm. Then the Amway warriors are expected to return to the battle zone and listen to more bullshit until midnight or whenever those cult leaders decide to shut the fuck up. Then the upline wants you to go to another night owl. Yeah fuck you I’m going back to the hotel and going to sleep.

So in case anyone is wondering if I can tell them what goes on at an Amway night owl meeting after the function has ended for the night - I can not tell you. Oh I can imagine it all right. Just more bullshit from the sack of shit Platinum like I don’t get enough of that several times a week back home! I’ve never gone to a night owl. Ambot not so lucky. He went once or twice when we attended Amway functions.

Oddly enough on WWDB’s website for Sunday there is no mention of the morning church service all the better for brainwashing IBO’s. Starts at 9 or 10? Lasts until noon? Probably one of the Diamond cult leaders running the religious brainwashing session. Then a break until 1. Sunday is a wrap up that will teach the ambots how to meet their Amway goals. Hmm, gee my goal is to invest in the tool scam and buy more Amway products and go into $10,000 in debt to show my dedication and devotion to my Amway cult leaders.

Things wrap up around 5pm and then everyone sprints for their cars and becomes part of a huge traffic jam heading out of town.

This weekend sounds like a real fucking snoozer to me. Take that thousand bucks and buy mutual funds or go on a mini vacation to somewhere fun (no offense Denver and Portland!) instead of making the greedy upline bastards richer.

I'm Still FED (UP)!

I have countless WWDB IBO's searching for Amway FED (Free Enterprise Days) that are being held in 2011 in Denver Colorado October 21 to 23 2011 and Portland Oregon in November 4 to 6 2011.

Seeing as how I don't have anything else to add from my posts last year I'm recycling another one for any new readers that might have missed this post.

And of course I love the keywords. For whatever reason - top secret! - Amway and World Wide Dreambuilders makes it extremely difficult for IBOs to find the information they're seeking about Amway functions. They search on the Internet and find the information they need on blogs like mine. Nothing like finding out what you're getting yourself into. Another brainwashing session!

What actually happens at Free Enterprise Days?

You know, most of its a blur. The only thing I remember for sure was being bored to death. It seems to me the exact same thing goes on at FED as what happens at Family Reunion. On Friday night its a bunch of rah, rah, rah. A lot of patriotism, loud music, and speeches about what a great weekend its going to be. If it wasn’t part of Amway, that Friday night special would have almost been kind of fun.

Saturday everyone arrives at the auditorium - early of course. Remember if you’re a “serious business builder” you have to be there at least an hour early. There were huge line ups - the venue had several doors - and its my guess some of these cult followers had been lining up for hours. Gee the building looked pretty big to me. Scared you weren’t going to find a seat?

FED was mostly Diamonds and I think a few Emeralds who told their stories in such a manner as to motivate IBO’s to stay with “the business”. They’d all been down on their luck, found Amway, and built “the business”. Now their life is fantastic. Mansions, luxury cars, exotic vacations, blah, blah, blah. One by one they trooped across the stage and said the same thing. Nothing useful to anyone who is actually trying to build an Amway business. Or maybe the helpful stuff happened when I was out of the building. I get hungry and thirsty and would head out and scout the nearby eating places.

And darned if I didn’t find a restaurant I liked a few blocks away. It had a sign out front saying it was serving up caramel apple milkshakes I guess due to proximity to Halloween. That milkshake was the only thing I liked about FED. I bought a snack for Ambot too and brought it back to the auditorium where he was dutifully taking notes even though the speakers were all saying the same thing as the last ones. Boring, boring, boring.

Sunday morning there is an all denomination church service - all the better for brainwashing the followers. Fortunately Ambot was tired from the previous evening’s night owl so we slept in. Sunday afternoon drones on with the Diamonds boring the audience. They say the exact same things - basically how wonderful their lives are now after all the troubles they endured in the past. Amway brought them riches, saved their marriages, and turned them all into Ken and Barbie dolls. Boring as hell. I finally leave and go out to the car and read a book.

So in answer to the question about what happens at Free Enterprise Days, to sum it up - a bunch of IBO’s get ripped off by spending money listening to boring speakers. It won’t help your business but will lighten your wallet.

And increase the bank accounts of those boring speakers who marched across the stage all blending together as one entity. How do you tell any of them apart anyway?

Amway is a Vicious Cycle

Its kind of troubling the pattern of search hits I’ve been getting recently:

“Should I kick my Amway ambot out of the house?”

“What happens when husbands and wives don’t agree on Amway?”

“How do you get someone to leave Amway?”

“Boyfriend wants me to travel to Amway meetings with him”

“Amway destroyed my marriage”

“How to deprogram an Amway ambot”

“How to be deprogrammed from Amway”

“How to quit Amway”

These ones are especially sad because the searcher - and here I’ll go out on a limb and say probably a woman - has reached the end of their rope in putting up with the Amway bullshit and being abused by the upline and is searching on the Internet for how to deal with their relationship crumbling due to the interfering upline. Its a horrible position to be in to watch your husband throwing all your money at the great Amway cult, helpless to stop it because some upline cult leader has bullied him into buying more shitty Amway products that they can’t afford. How did some fucking Amway asshole get his clutches in to your husband to have this kind of control over him.

Cult!!!!

The “how to quit Amway” variation I get several of each day but a real spike in the last week or so.

This is about the midway point between major functions. Family Reunion was in July and Free Enterprise Days are coming in late October to Denver Colorado and early November to Portland Oregon. Ambots are dragged off to a major function with all the rah rah and motivational speeches from the Ken and Barbies stomping across the stage. The ambot comes home from these motivational rallies and is all fired up and figuring out how they’re going to make their business explode. Sadly the only thing exploding is their dwindling bank account and skyrocketing credit card debt. After a few days or weeks of failing to convince any recruits to come to Amway meetings or finding new customers to buy Amway products the enthusiasm dwindles and the ambot starts to lose interest. They’re not making money and after all the whole point of owning your own business is to make money. Their cult leaders might notice the ambot not coming to meetings or slacking off on their Amway purchases and convince them not to quit now, not when success is right around the corner. Some ambots hang on for a few more weeks and get to the next major function, get all motivated again, and the sick cycle repeats itself.

Meanwhile the wife - and yes for this topic I’m going to call the above searches as done by the woman because I can give that point of view - is feeling hopeful that the end is in sight because the husband is losing interest.

Seeing as how I’d already been down the Amway path to hell I noticed things about Ambot that showed he was finally realizing he’d been lied to about getting rich in Amway. He stopped subscribing to Communikate and the World Wide Dream Builders premier membership. He stopped buying CDs and books. He stopped attending meetings.

Now granted getting to this stage took him a few months longer than the last foray into Amway hell. I was about at the end of my rope and I could have written any of those above Google searches about marriage being destroyed by Amway, how to deprogram an ambot from the Amway cult, and ready to kick the ambot out of the house.

What I didn’t know at the time was that my Ambot had had enough of being bullied by the sack of shit Platinum and being ordered to leave me and listening to these sickos that were praying I’d find another man and leave him. So there were other conflicts going on as Ambot realized the sheer evil of the Amway upline and how they were hell bent on destroying our relationship all in the name of trying to get their hands on our money.

So Ambot was letting go of those bastards. Setback came when someone upline phoned and told him he had to buy 100 or so PV of Amway products so someone further upline could reach their goals for the month. Damn it anyway he put another $500 on his credit card buying useless shitty Amway products that we’ll never use. Then the same fucker phones back and badgers him about attending the next major function.

“Too bad,” Ambot tells the upline bastard. “I spent all my money buying those Amway products so those assholes could meet their goals this month. No money left for Amway functions.”

And that was the last time Ambot ever bought anything from Amway. Yay!

Though it wasn’t the last time the upline bastards phoned or texted him but it came less often. Seeing as how he missed a major function he was on the shit list and the punishment is to be ostracized by the sack of shit Platinum until he returns to the fold begging for forgiveness.

Didn’t happen.

So I will send out another big fuck you to our Platinum. You lost your grip asshole! And it was about time!

I’m FED Up!

I’ve been getting a lot of hits lately for Free Enterprise Days that WWDB and Amway is holding October 21 to 23 2011 in Denver Colorado and November 4 to 6 2011 in Portland Oregon. I don’t have much more to say about FED that I didn’t already cover in posts last year so I’m recycling for the new readers who haven’t already seen them.

And of course for the keywords! Seeing as how Amway and WWDB make it very difficult for ambots to find any information about functions they have to come to my blog which is high on the search engines to learn all about what they’re getting themselves into.

FED = Free Enterprise Days and it is an Amway World Wide Dream Builder major function held on a weekend in October.

This event was being shoved down our throats before the Family Reunion function in July had finished. Ambot had to ante up the cash for the tickets while we were still at the Family Reunion.

We had to drive 2 states away to attend. After the debacle driving to Family Reunion I refused to allow any passengers in my car. Oh, I was a bad little IBO. How selfish of me not to want to spend my money on gas and wear and tear on my car for the privilege of enduring Amway speak from some demented, brainwashed passenger on an all day drive. Three months ahead of the function the upline were arranging car pools and sharing of hotel rooms. Yeah, right. I really want to share a hotel room with a bunch of kids. The upline chose a rather expensive hotel and said we should all get reservations there before it sold out.

I had a better idea. I was going to fix those bastards. I told Ambot I was bringing the dog with us. I found a hotel that takes dogs and booked a room there at about a quarter of the price of the hotel the upline were staying at. Once word got out that any passengers would be sharing the back seat with a shedding panting dog no one was too eager to hitch a ride with us. Go figure!

Pissed off the Platinum to the nth degree that he didn’t have all his cult followers in the same hotel.

The upline still badgered Ambot to drive to their hotel room after the day’s bullshit session ended so they could have their “night owl”. Its after midnight and everyone is tired. All the better to brainwash the IBO’s. Thanks but I think I’ll stay in the hotel room with my dog. He’s better company than those Amway morons.

The Craigslist Ambot

One night somebody in our upline - or perhaps crossline I was never quite sure where he fit into the equation but he was at every meeting I attended - brought a guest with him to an Amway meeting. A young lady who didn’t look quite right. As is par for the course whenever someone manages to drag a prospect to a meeting all the IBO’s in the room welcomed her with loving arms and showered her with phoney attention and interest. After a few minutes of talking to her you could figure out she wasn’t all there. Something not quite right in her head. Perhaps a high functioning autistic? She could carry on a reasonably decent conversation but after spending a few minutes with her you’d see something wasn’t quite right. Due to her disability she was unable to drive and so the IBO who was prospecting her was driving her to and from the meeting.

She sat down beside me and I asked how she’d met the ambot. She told me she had posted an ad on Craigslist looking for friends and good conversation and he’d responded.

That stunned me because you never know what kind of weirdos you’ll attract doing that. I’m aware that Craigslist has a personal section but I thought it was mostly for people looking to hook up. Well maybe she was trying to do that too I don’t know.

But I get the picture. The ambot who’d brought her to the meeting was trolling Craigslist ads looking for women with no other motive other than to get them to an Amway meeting. Well maybe he was trying to get them into bed too! I think this young lady enjoyed the companionship of a room full of people happy to shower her with fake love. The price to pay? Listening to the bullshit from the Platinum for 3 hours.

Did she ever join up with Amway? Not that I know of. I saw her at 3 meetings I think and oddly enough I saw her at Free Enterprise Days. I was walking through the lobby undoubtedly on my way out of there to find a Starbucks or Burger King for some nourishment and I spotted her wandering around by herself. Fortunately she didn’t spot me and I was able to make a clean getaway! That was the last time I ever saw her. Obviously her potential sponsor had given her a ride to FED, paid for her ticket, and then ditched her once inside the arena. I knew if I stopped and talked to her curiosity would get the better of me and I’d ask about the sleeping arrangements. Some things its just better you don’t know. None of my business anyway.

The real sad thing is the ambot who’d stalked her on Craigslist lost interest in her real fast after he met her and realized she wasn’t fully functioning. By the second or third meeting he’d driven her to he didn’t want the burden of responsibility for her anymore and was checking the room to see if anyone else could give her a ride. Yeah just the type of really nice guy you want in your life. Asshole! But what else do you expect from a self absorbed ambot? The reality was this young lady was just looking for people to hang out with for a few hours and she didn’t have the mental or financial capacity to buy into the Amway scheme. The IBO figured that out fast enough that his plan didn’t work and tried to ditch her but she kept showing interest in going to Amway meetings to be around people. So desperate to spend time with someone, anyone she’ll go to an Amway meeting! Shit!

I don’t know about posting personal ads on Craigslist. The first thing that comes to my mind is the Craigslist Killer. The second thing that now comes to my mind thanks to the young lady’s experience is the possibility of getting prospected by some Amway IBO thinking this is a cool way to pick up recruits.

But where will it end on Craigslist? Perhaps ambots are trolling every category and calling people who’ve put phone numbers on their ad. Can you imagine if your cat didn’t come home and you placed an ad on Craigslist and some ambot phones you to say he spotted your ad and you get all excited thinking he’s found your missing cat only to find out he’s prospecting you to join up with Amway. Or you place an ad looking for a boyfriend with similar interests only to get a response by some ambot pervert. Or people looking for a job and post an ad on Craigslist with their resume and qualifications and someone calls and says they’d like to hire you and set up an interview. You get all excited about landing an interview and go to the meeting which is oddly enough being held at Dunkin’ Donuts only to find its a scam and an Amway IBO wants to show you the board plan.

Craigslist does put up a warning about affiliate scammers who prey on people posting on their classifieds but people can get all the warnings and red flags waved under their nose and they still might not realize they’re being set up by a scammer.

Get a clue you lousy ambots! People put up legitimate ads on Craigslist and they hope for legitimate, helpful responses. They don’t want to be recruited into Amway! You’re just contributing to Amway’s bad image by pulling shit like this.

It just seems creepy to me that Amway IBO’s are stalking people on Craigslist. I bet some kingpin has a CD out there on how to troll for prospects on Craigslist.

The Slight Edge

There was a book that was a must read for all ambots called The Slight Edge. One of those expensive Amway tools that all good little ambots must buy. I don’t recall what Ambot paid for it maybe $20 because he had to buy it from the upline bastards at their inflated price instead of finding it cheaper on Amazon or Ebay. You’d think one copy would be enough but Ambot bought at least 5 copies of this book. Had to put something on those tools orders to get his upline richer! We’ve long since given them away. I think we sold one on Craigslist for a buck. Typical return on your Amway dollars spent!

I remember going to an Amway function, don’t recall which one either Family Reunion or FED but it was definitely one of those two, and just about every Diamond couple that marched across the stage was holding a copy of The Slight Edge. They’d wave it around and encourage all their cult followers to buy it. They neglected to say that they’d probably bought a container load for a stinking deal of a dollar each and they were selling them for $20 each on the tools orders and what a profit they’re making!

I’m pretty sure The Slight Edge was the book that had a story about a man on his deathbed and he called his sons over and gave them a choice of a million dollars or a purse with a penny in it and every day for the next 30 days the penny would be doubled. One son took the million dollars and went out and had a good time spending it on stuff that I’ve long since forgotten about. The other son took the purse with the penny. His brother predictably taunted him because after a week the penny brother has 64 cents in his purse and the million dollar brother has a new house and new car and whatever. By 30 days the double your penny brother has over $5 million. Who gets the last laugh?

I was reminded of the story when I came across this page on the False Profits website where the article discusses why so many people lose money in MLM’s and why many keep trying. http://www.falseprofits.com/Lessons%20from%20the%20Pyramids.html

This article uses the penny doubled theory with a chart but this article also uses it as the people doubled theory and why most pyramids collapse sometime between one and thirty.

This article also answers the question why our upline wants everyone to read The Slight Edge - other than the obvious profit they make from selling it - and why they tell the penny doubled story from the stage to convince every ambot recruit how they too can succeed at Amway. But the upline liars conveniently forget to mention that this pattern will not work because of the high number of drop outs at the lower levels. IBO’s leave when they realize they’re not making any money at Amway. 

One last thing. If anyone approaches you with a reading suggestion on a great book they’ve just read and loans it to you and its called The Slight Edge - RUN! Its an ambot!

Amway WWDB Free Enterprise Days 2011 in Denver and Portland

Amway WWDB Free Enterprise Days will be held in Denver Colorado October 21 - 23 2011 and then again in Portland Oregon November 4 to 6 2011.

What happened? Somebody at World Wide Dream Builders fuck up and not reserve an arena in Oregon for October ahead of time and it got booked up? Or is this a scheme to scam IBO's to attend both events?

There is absolutely no information to be found on Google for FED except for me high up there on the search engine. So yup you got it. Once again a post that serves no purpose other than to misdirect a few Amway IBO’s who are desperately trying to search for information to the 2011 Amway WWDB Free Enterprise Days.

All roads lead to Anna Banana! Here the truth is free. You don’t have to cough up $225 to read my blog. You do have to rack up $225 on your credit card for a ticket to hear a bunch of Diamonds bullshit you and show you pictures of material possession that they may or may not own or might have rented for the video shoot.

Scammers!

Hello Memphis!

Let’s give a shout out to the Hilton in Memphis Tennessee.

Is there an Amway function going on right now in Memphis?

Some brainwashed IBO is desperately searching for information on Free Enterprise Days from inside the Memphis Hilton. He/she has googled “World Wide Dream Builders Free Enterprise Days Portland” and “World Wide Dream Builders Free Enterprise Days hotel rooms”.

All roads lead to Anna Banana’s blog. Number 1 and 2 on the old Google search engine.

I’m guessing if this IBO is staying at the Hilton they probably don’t live in Memphis because I was thinking that’s a fair hike to get to Portland. But the searcher just gave us some valuable information that FED is going to be held in Portland. Thanks! Gives me a few extra key words to help IBO’s find their way to my blog!

Amway WWDB Free Enterprise Days 2011

This post’s purpose is to say hi to IBO’s who are searching for information for Amway WWDB Free Enterprise Days. I’ve already had searchers looking for this information who are ending up at my post about how we had to buy tickets to FED before leaving Family Reunion.

What do I know about Free Enterprise Days that Amway and World Wide Dream Builders will be holding in 2011? Not a thing. It will probably cost $125 per person and be held in October if history repeats itself.

I also know that several of my posts are in the top 5 Google search for Amway WWDB Free Enterprise Days 2011. What is the number one slot? A paid ad by Amway!!! Ha ha! The only way they can get a higher spot than me on the old Google search is to pay for it. Even I am not that desperate!

Wouldn’t it just be simpler - and possibly even cheaper - for Amway to pay me a few million to shut down my blog and go away?

No one clicks on their paid ad anyway if they’re searching for information on WWDB Free Enterprise Days. IBO’s already know the Amway site is all about selling Amway products not function information. So naturally they click on the links to my blog because they’re desperate to find any information.

Some dumb ass marketing and promotions guru at Amway head office is doing a shitty job buying Google ads!

I’ll probably post more information as the time draws nearer. In the meantime I’ll keep reeling those IBO’s in.

Buy Your Tickets for Free Enterprise Days. NOW!!!

Before we even leave Family Reunion our sack of shit Platinum sends out word that everyone must buy tickets for FED - Free Enterprise Days - NOW even though its July and FED is not held until October.

The reason for this is simple. Some Diamond upline decreed it to be so!

The Diamonds main income is derived from speaking at Amway functions. They are 3 months apart. A lot can happen in those 3 months. IBO’s get discouraged that they’re not making money but they’re sure spending a lot of money and probably going into debt to support their Amway habit. There’s a possibility that IBO’s may quit between Amway functions.

So the Diamonds want to strike while the iron is hot. While IBO’s are still fired up from all the motivational bullshit they’ve just sat through during Family Reunion. All weekend long they listened to one Ken and Barbie after another strut across the stage and brag about how good life has become since they let the great Amway god into their lives. They brag about all their material goods and they bullshit about “helping” others.

Yeah! Helping them to the poorhouse so the upline can get richer!

Buy your tickets for FED now and that ties the IBO into trudging through another 3 months of Amway hell. Sucking another 3 months of Amway purchases out of those poor bastards.

As for us, remember Ambot bragged about the extra cash we were travelling with so I could hit JC Penney and get that skookum cappuccino machine that was on a Saturday door crasher sale. Instead of me getting the machine we had to donate $250 of our money to some fucked up IBO whose reservation had gone AWOL in the fucked up Amway/WWDB computer system and he had to buy another Family Reunion ticket.

They were going to deal with his refund after they got home and someone from the World Wide Dream Builders office was back to work after taking the weekend off.

So the asshole Eagle gets a brilliant idea which had probably come from further upline. Instead of us getting our $250 back, they would put it towards our tickets to FED.

Fuck you Eagle!  

Of course Ambot is all psyched up about that. What a deal! Obviously he was planning to attend FED because he's a serious business builder and he would never dare disobey the Platinum if he ordered his cult followers to buy tickets to FED. We never got our $250 back but we did get 2 tickets to Free Enterprise Days. Gee what a bargain! We have to haul our asses to another shitty Amway function. Can’t wait.....

Really FED (UP!)

On Sunday of Free Enterprise Days we’d slept in because we weren’t attending the church service. Just a little too much cult brainwashing for me to handle. Instead we went for a drive and arrived at the venue’s parking lot around 11:30am, found an excellent parking spot near the exit to beat the rush out of there at the end of the day, and sat in the car for a bit because the service was still on and IBO’s weren’t being let in yet for the afternoon FED session.

Ambot’s cell phone chirps indicating he’s received a text message from some asshole upline. Ignore it, I tell him. He checks his phone anyway and turns out the text is from his arrogant prick sponsor, aka Captain Fuck Up.

He tells Ambot that the pompous sack of shit Platinum has called a very important meeting that all downline must attend at his hotel lobby near the stairs. We have to be there at 11:45am and the time right now is about 11:42am.

The hotel is several minutes drive away, ironically we’d just driven past it within the past 20 minutes. Ambot’s all in a panic. WE MUST GET THERE!

He refused to listen to my voice of reason that it didn’t sound logical. First off the hotel check out time had already passed - why would they hang around the hotel. Second the sack of shit was very religious and unlikely to miss the morning church service. Third the sack of shit had made it a big point out of saying due to being Platinum he had the honor of helping out backstage during the church service. Fourth, if he was already here at the arena for the church service, why would the sack of shit drive all the way back to his hotel that he’d already check out of instead of holding his “very important meeting” (better known as a bullshit brainwashing session) at the arena.

But Ambot refused to listen to me that they were probably already in or around the auditorium. I wanted to stay where we were. Instead Ambot breaks the speed limit getting to the hotel, runs faster than I’ve ever seen him move, easily outdistancing me. I catch up to him in the hotel lobby. He is frantically running around looking for other IBO’s. He opens up the staircase doors thinking they might be holding their meeting in the fire exit. He’s badgering hotel employees if they’ve seen his beloved upline.

He is really agitated that he can’t find anyone and eventually we return to the venue. The good parking spot I’d scored earlier is now taken. We walk across the parking lot and on the lawn in front of the auditorium we see our group gathered around the hallowed cult leader and Ambot sprints to join them.

It turns out the arrogant prick sent Ambot a fake text message having him run all over town on a wild goose chase just so he could have a good giggle. Fuck you jerk!

Yup. These are people I really want to do business with.