Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Easier Jobs Than Amway - Where You'll Actually Make Money Doing!

At every Amway meeting the cult leaders used to mock the ambots and say Amway is so easy anyone can do it. Though that message is more to the point of “I’m a fucking loser and I can do Amway and if you can’t do Amway then you’re an even bigger fucking loser than I am!”

So I have found an article that shows some jobs that I think are a lot easier than being an Amway IBO. Pays way better too! Hell digging ditches is probably an easier job than being in Amway! I’d say any job where you don’t have to put up with a bunch of fucking assholes from Amway is a much easier job. Because that is the hardest part about being in Amway. Putting up with the Amway upline assholes.

  1. Professional sleeper, mattress tester - if you’re practically falling asleep at Amway meetings because the upline assholes are boring you to death, then at least being a mattress tester is something you’ll get for sleeping. Unlike Amway meetings where you have to pay the cult leader to show up and sleep.
  2. Chocolate tester - sure the hell beats being the poor bastard that has to test the Amway food bars. “Phewwy! Yucky! Tastes like shit!”
  3. Cute pet photo picker - sure the hell beats being the poor bastard that has to sift through Amway photos and decide which one they like the best. What! How the hell do I choose from this fucked up mess!
  4. Mansion sitter - kind of a step up from a regular house sitter this person takes care of luxury homes while the owners are away. Hmmm. Maybe Amway Diamonds already do this and use the opportunity for a photo shoot for one of those videos shown at Amway functions to bullshit the Amway cult followers.
  5. TV watcher - and those fucking assholes in our Amway upline used to mock their cult followers and say how much money are you making sitting at home watching TV. Well $10/hour if you’re doing research for Nielson! That’s the same amount of money you’ll make in one month of commission from Amway if you’re CORE! Looks like Nielsen’s only qualification is owning a TV set so if you don’t have one you can go out and buy one for $300 coincidentally the same amount of money on a minimum you have to spend each month buying shitty overpriced Amway products.
  6. Professional know it all - well every Amway asshole I met all claimed to know everything! Oh wait maybe I mean the people I knew in Amway were all smart asses! Put together DIY videos for youtube. Hot damn! How come some Amway cult leader hasn’t tapped into this market yet!
  7. Spa critic - I guess this is like a secret shopper for massages! I’d rather get a massage than go to an Amway cult meeting!
  8. Resort consultant - I think this is kind of like a secret shopper thing too. Provide feedback on resorts and the services they offer. Well I’m an Amway upline consultant. I provide feedback on what a bunch of fucking assholes my Amway upline are!
And some of these jobs you can even combine more than one. Chocolate tester by day. Mattress tester by night. Double the income!

Beats the hell out of being in the Amway cult. J.O.B. by day. Amway (phony) "business owner" by night. Use the day job income to tithe the Amway cult leaders and go into debt, lose your house to foreclosure, marriage end in divorce court.

Hmmm. Whichever one should I choose.....


  1. Panhandler, newspaper boy, Mcdonald's employee. All much more lucrative.

  2. The guy who walks along the beach at the crack of dawn with a metal detector makes more doing that than he would in Amway.


    1. The guy rooting through the garbage dumpsters for recyclables is making more money than he would in Amway!

    2. Here's another great group of ideas: Part time jobs for grownups. No joke, this site has some solid ideas on how to make good money working only part time, more money than you'll ever make in Scamway and for a lot less effort:

    3. Connie - those are some good ideas! Thanks for sharing the link! Maybe we'll convert some ambots!

  3. Had a good laugh at your list cause i did the mansion sitter job years ago. Made ok money watching a mansion while the family was gone on holiday. Was paid 2400.00 after taxes and really enjoyed the job. Basically slept all day, had a bbq,and watched tv. Much easier than being a amway ibo with less stress. This was done during the winter months in canada while this rich family was on holiday. It didnt even feel like work lol

    1. I used to do housesitting years ago but nothing I'd call a mansion though a couple of really nice houses with spectacular views of the Pacific Ocean. Made a few hundred bucks. Its the kind of thing you can do and still have a regular job that pays the bills. But you weren't paying attention Colin. You could have had 3 income steams at the same time! Mansion sitter, mattress tester, and TV watcher!

    2. T-Chain from Malaysia - if you actually read more of my posts then you wouldn't have needed to ask a dumb ass question. Obviously you've never had someone you loved brainwashed by a cult. Obviously you've never had to deal with a shit hole called Amway and the assholes it breeds.

  4. Hi again Ana. I work in the construction industry and I have talked to and seen the guys working in the ditches many times. Those paid the lesser earn about $10/hour and they only get into the ditches to dig or install whatever the back hoe machine could not get done. During many minutes or hours per day they just stand by while getting paid. That's about $10 more per hour than ambots. Plus I see them actually having a good time while working.

    I have posted in your blog before about having one unwanted encounter per month with MLM companies (including ambots twice) during this 2012. This past week we had our encounters 4 and 5 in one week! My wife works for an employment agency and she is sometimes assigned to the customer service department of a well know bank. And a couple times was assigned to events held by owners of franchises of the largest convenience stores in US (actual business owners). But last week she was assigned to the offices of an MLM company where the distributors are called "independent consultants" and the next day to another one that sells makeup and creams (never heard of them before). Both times she declined to work for those types of companies.

    We are so pissed off already. Are those things on the rise or we just have had bad luck this year? I cannot wait to the moment when ambots approach us in the grocery store again to kick their asses!!

    1. Hi Anonymous - everytime I see a road crew digging ditches it always seems to me that one or 2 guys are doing the work and about 7 or 8 are standing around watching. I just thought those were the supervisors!

      And some people are well paid for jobs where they're not really doing anything but are mostly just there for the company just in case they need someone to run errands, answer phone, whatever.

      I have no idea if MLM's are on the rise or not. I don't pay a lot of attention to them. I also seem to be fortunate enough not to get prospected. A friend of mine in Iowa is hosting parties and hopefully making sales for a company called Scentsy. So far I've resisted the temptation to buy. And she just recently got into something, I don't know if its part of the Scentsy line or not, but its like a chocolate fondue. Hmmm. Now that is more appealing than candles! People start up companies selling a product and they expand and they're looking for salespeople. That doesn't necessarily mean it will expand into a pyramid scheme MLM.


Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!

If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:
1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.
2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.
3. Naming names? Public figures like politicians and actors and people known in Amway are probably OK – the owners, Diamonds with CDs or who speak at functions, people in Amway’s publicity department who write press releases and blogs. Its humiliating for people to admit their association with Amway so respect their privacy if they’re not out there telling everyone about the love of their life.
4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.
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