Easier Jobs Than Amway - Where You'll Actually Make Money Doing!

At every Amway meeting the cult leaders used to mock the ambots and say Amway is so easy anyone can do it. Though that message is more to the point of “I’m a fucking loser and I can do Amway and if you can’t do Amway then you’re an even bigger fucking loser than I am!”

So I have found an article that shows some jobs that I think are a lot easier than being an Amway IBO. Pays way better too! Hell digging ditches is probably an easier job than being in Amway! I’d say any job where you don’t have to put up with a bunch of fucking assholes from Amway is a much easier job. Because that is the hardest part about being in Amway. Putting up with the Amway upline assholes.

http://shine.yahoo.com/photos/9-easiest-jobs-planet-slideshow/-photo-2295608-224000728.html

1. Professional sleeper, mattress tester - if you’re practically falling asleep at Amway meetings because the upline assholes are boring you to death, then at least being a mattress tester is something you’ll get for sleeping. Unlike Amway meetings where you have to pay the cult leader to show up and sleep.
2. Chocolate tester - sure the hell beats being the poor bastard that has to test the Amway food bars. “Phewwy! Yucky! Tastes like shit!”
3. Cute pet photo picker - sure the hell beats being the poor bastard that has to sift through Amway photos and decide which one they like the best. What! How the hell do I choose from this fucked up mess!
4. Mansion sitter - kind of a step up from a regular house sitter this person takes care of luxury homes while the owners are away. Hmmm. Maybe Amway Diamonds already do this and use the opportunity for a photo shoot for one of those videos shown at Amway functions to bullshit the Amway cult followers.
5. TV watcher - and those fucking assholes in our Amway upline used to mock their cult followers and say how much money are you making sitting at home watching TV. Well $10/hour if you’re doing research for Nielson! That’s the same amount of money you’ll make in one month of commission from Amway if you’re CORE! Looks like Nielsen’s only qualification is owning a TV set so if you don’t have one you can go out and buy one for $300 coincidentally the same amount of money on a minimum you have to spend each month buying shitty overpriced Amway products.
6. Professional know it all - well every Amway asshole I met all claimed to know everything! Oh wait maybe I mean the people I knew in Amway were all smart asses! Put together DIY videos for youtube. Hot damn! How come some Amway cult leader hasn’t tapped into this market yet!
7. Spa critic - I guess this is like a secret shopper for massages! I’d rather get a massage than go to an Amway cult meeting!
8. Resort consultant - I think this is kind of like a secret shopper thing too. Provide feedback on resorts and the services they offer. Well I’m an Amway upline consultant. I provide feedback on what a bunch of fucking assholes my Amway upline are!

And some of these jobs you can even combine more than one. Chocolate tester by day. Mattress tester by night. Double the income!

Beats the hell out of being in the Amway cult. J.O.B. by day. Amway (phony) "business owner" by night. Use the day job income to tithe the Amway cult leaders and go into debt, lose your house to foreclosure, marriage end in divorce court.

Hmmm. Whichever one should I choose.....

Holding An Amway Grand Opening

Seeing as how I get lots of people doing searches on how to do an Amway grand opening and end up at my blog I thought I should write another post about our grand opening for new readers.

The first time I heard the term “grand opening” was when this arrogant prick friend of my husband’s that I have never liked was holding an Amway grand opening and Ambot wanted to stop by the bastard’s house because we were out in the area that day and the bastard was having a BBQ. Though thinking back maybe whatever else we were doing that day was just a ruse to get us in that part of town so we could support his grand opening. I probably said something to the effect what a fucking loser that asshole is for getting involved in Amway and I warned my husband not to buy any of that useless overpriced Amway shit. We got there and I wasn’t impressed with anything but some could say that would probably be mostly due to the fact that I can’t stand the asshole and would never be impressed with anything he’s got going on. My husband poured me an XS energy drink, I think cranberry. I took a sip and told him it tasted like cat piss. I think he was drinking root beer XS so I tried that and told him it tasted like toothpaste that a cat had pissed on. They had a bunch of shitty Amway products on display. I told his wife that we’d been involved in Amway before and hadn’t made any money and we couldn’t persuade anyone we knew to come to Amway meetings or buy any of the shit.

What I didn’t know was that the Amway cult leaders had already started brainwashing my husband. Unfortunately Ambot didn’t learn his lesson the first time around. How’s that quote go? Those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it. We were doomed to lose more money thanks to his fucking asshole friend and the Amway cult. Except this time was the sheer evil horror of the Amway cult that also brought with it emotional distress because of the horrible evil fucking assholes that were in our Amway WWDB upline. That horror didn’t happen the first time so this was what they meant when they talked about how Amway had changed since the first time we’d been in. Amway now meant dealing with horrible evil scum of the earth greedy bastards out to destroy relationships of anyone who didn’t submit to the Amway cult leaders.

The assholes in our upline said we must hold a “grand opening” as soon as possible after getting started in our Amway business so everyone would know that we were Amway distributors (how embarrassing is that to admit!) and could order products from us. This was also the time to sign up new IBO’s who were interested in starting their own business. Let’s see. Our circle of friends hasn’t changed much in the past 10 years. The people Ambot bugged the last time around in Amway who weren’t interested were the same ones he’d be harrassing again.

We chose a date and decided to hold a BBQ at our house. Amway does not sell stuff normal people would have at a BBQ - hamburgers, buns, condiments, salad, cake, ice cream, etc. Seeing as how Ambot had high expectations of a huge crowd off we went to Costco to stock up for the BBQ.

Grocery bill tally for the BBQ Grand Opening - about $150.

We printed up invitations and gave them out to a lot of people including all neighbors. Ambot actually knocked on doors and spoke with the neighbors and handed them an invitation. He also sniped a few people who happened to be walking past our house while we were outside gardening.

The grand opening was an afternoon event from 1pm to 5pm. Our first guest showed up around 1. He had other plans so was just planning to grab a burger, take a look at some of the Amway products, and hear a little bit about the business.

Actually this fellow was about as close as we ever got to signing up a downline with the exception of the one friend who signed up and then quit a couple of weeks later. This fellow came to a board plan and was interested and liked the IBO’s and their fakey nicey nice act. Then a mutual friend told him Amway was a scam and he backed off. Ambot was pissed off at our friend who had the gall to say Amway is a scam.

Funny how he agrees with that statement now!

Then it got quiet for a couple of hours. Ambot went into the house to watch TV. Things picked up closer to 4pm. Some of our hungry elderly neighbors were happy to come over for free food. One of them even noticed some of the products displayed on a table and triumphantly, disgustedly declared “this is Amway”. A neighbor and his kids came over too. The fellow had never heard of Amway so Ambot gave him a good run down on the business. He was sure he’d found a prospect. Wrong. They moved shortly after that.

Bottom line is as far as promoting the Amway business the grand opening was useless. Like everything else in Amway holding an Amway grand opening is a total waste of time and money. Fortunately most of the food we bought could be frozen or had a good enough shelf life that we were able to consume them later.

Some of the upline dropped by that evening and when they heard that the grand opening resulted in no prospects or customers they tried to get us to hold another grand opening as soon as possible. Nope. Never happened. We could have held a million Amway grand openings and the attendance and results wouldn’t have changed. This was exactly the same thing as happened when we were involved in Amway several years earlier. We invited everyone we knew and lot of people we didn’t know too and maybe a handful showed up for the free food and never resulted in any sales or signing up new IBO’s.

So to the people who keep showing up at my blog looking how to hold an “Amway grand opening” - don’t waste your time or money. Get out now before you face further embarrassment and financial losses and emotional distress.

Amway sucks!

WWDB = World Wide Destructive Bastards and its named that for a reason - it is out to destroy your relationships! WWDB sucks! STAY AWAY!!!!!

But what really sucks are the fucking assholes you’re forced to deal with in your WWDB upline. That is the worst thing about belonging to the Amway cult. The horrible evil people you meet and the way they treat you.

Amway - the Kingpin of All Things Negative!

I can’t tell you how many times I heard Ambot parrot his upline “Don’t say negative!” This was usually after I commented on how expensive an Amway product is or how shitty it tastes. I was telling the truth. Truth. An evil word to ambots. Just because something is true does not make it negative. Like any other criticism one takes in life one must grow a thick skin and accept it civilly and if its constructive criticism instead of mean criticism become better or make changes because of it. However things are beyond an ambot’s control such as lowering the high price tag Amway puts on their products or quality control and actually make shit and piss taste better.

The upline cult leaders usually the pompous sack of shit Platinum and occasionally the Emerald would jabber on about don’t let negative influences into your life.

What a sheltered life that is for an ambot. Unable to tell the difference between the truth and the negative. Believing their cult leaders that they are the only people in the world who speak the truth and everyone else is a negative liar. The Amway cult leaders don’t want their downline to be influenced by outside forces who can reason, tell them the truth, and show the IBO’s that they’re wasting their time and more importantly wasting their money on trying to build an Amway business.

The upline bastards would say don’t read newspapers, don’t watch TV, don’t listen to the radio. Most of all they’d say don’t listen to people who aren’t in Amway.

Yet these same cult leaders all seemed to know what’s going on in the world. How can that be unless they’re being negative and watching TV or reading a newspaper?

These Amway bastards are the most negative people around despite all their sermons about not being negative. At every Amway meeting they’d preach fire and brimstone sermons about Starbucks locations closing down or other businesses closing their doors. They’d spout off tons of doom and gloom about the recession and people losing their jobs. Our Amway upline are the most negative people I’ve ever met in my life!

Since writing this blog I’ve had a few dozen negative ambots show up here who all say the same thing. Some canned amspeak response they’ve duplicated from their cult leaders. They all accuse me of being a broke loser. They all accuse me of working a job. They all predict I’ll be dead or broke by the time I’m 65. They all call me a negative unchristian dream stealer. I mean talk about NEGATIVE! Its the old Amway cult influence. Spread negativity around the world courtesy of being an Amway IBO.

Those fucked up brainwashed ambots think they’re better than everyone else and here they are violating their upline cult leader’s rules by coming to my blog and spreading their Amway negativity.

Becoming an Amway “independent business owner” running a fake business, putting on a business suit, carrying a cell phone, lying to people that the business is not Amway, making false product claims, marching off to 8pm Amway cult meetings, and sneering at people who are not in Amway does not make an ambot a positive role model.

Amway makes for a hell of a lot of misery and negativity in one’s life.

Drop out of Amway and that’s a big load of negative you’ll also be dropping.

Amway Artistry Cosmetics

I’ve been getting a lot of hits recently for Artistry Cosmetics so I figured its time to devote another post to that shitty overpriced low quality lousy selection fucked up Amway mess that women are expected to slop on their faces.

Unknown to me Ambot bought a very expensive $60 face cream. I cringed at the price tag but seeing as how he’d already bought it, I used it. It didn’t do anything a $15 bottle of Oil of Olay’s face cream can’t do for me so I didn’t buy it again after it ran out. Yikes! I still can’t believe Ambot was so brainwashed he’d spend that kind of money when there’s a better quality product out there at a quarter of the price. With the $45 in savings we could have gone out and had a decent dinner somewhere. Sure beats the upline splitting a $45 commission!

I usually buy makeup from a friend who sells Avon. Unlike Amway, Avon always seems to have sales going on. Lipstick, eye shadow, or nail polish for $2.99? I’ll take a few colors. Deodorant at .99 cents each? I’ll stock up for a year. I love a good deal.

Never got a good deal on piss all nothing with Amway!

Luckily I was well stocked up on Avon products prior to Ambot getting involved in Amway. I told him I still wanted to buy Avon from our friend. Better prices, larger selection, equal quality. Ambot was outraged. “You need to support our business and buy from our store.”

Like shit. I’m a victim of the Amspeak that he’s duplicated off the fucking upline.

So I point out the obvious. “If we’re the only customers then we’re a bunch of fucking idiots for selling our products too high priced.”

A few Artistry products slunk into the house courtesy of Ambot. A couple of bottles of overpriced nail polish including a bottle of final gloss coat or whatever its called that I don’t normally use. A very expensive tube of lipstick in a shade that I hated because Artistry has such a limited choice of colors. There was a bottle of really stinky body lotion. What did they do? Harvest it from a dead eucalyptus tree? A tube of burnt caramel smelly hand cream that made my hands all itchy and scratchy after I rubbed it in. Also tried Amway Artistry eye cream. Didn’t do piss all for me. Oil of Olay and Avon products work MUCH better. In fact several women discussed the same thing that Artistry’s eye cream didn’t do nothing for none of us. At which point IBOFB very stupidly walked into the conversation and suggested that we were putting the eye cream on incorrectly and gave us instructions to which he got laughed at for his trouble. Women who’ve been putting on cosmetics for years know how to apply eye cream. We don’t need some arrogant shithead man telling us how to apply cosmetics. Or tampons either!

At every Amway meeting the upline lied about Artistry being one of the top 5 cosmetics in the world. According to my research, depending on whose list (usually magazines do these surveys), Artistry falls somewhere between number 15 and 30, which is not too shabby in the greater scheme of things, but never in the top 5, though Avon usually is. I guess not too many ambots think about doing research to see if their upline is lying or not. I’m not an ambot so I had no problem hitting the Internet to source out the lies told by our lying scheming upline assholes.

The same fucking assholes that tell you that you can’t believe anything written on the Internet because its a bathroom wall and full of lies. Then they try to promote Amway as an Internet business. Fucking double talking morons!

What I eventually found out is that Amway’s Artistry cosmetics are in the top 5 “prestigious” cosmetics. Its a survey run by a company called Euromonitor where Amway pays them to run the survey. Well you get what you pay for. Pay Euromonitor enough money and choose your spot on that list.

And who the fuck is Euromonitor anyway? Like anyone on this side of the Atlantic has heard of them. Why not use a well known American survey company? Probably because the well known American survey companies have already rated Amway Artistry cosmetics and the competition beat them out.

Now here’s the thing for women buying cosmetics. What’s the criteria we’re looking for when buying make up or skin care products? What is important to us?

Price is certainly a factor. We like getting a good deal. I can buy Oil of Olay face cream products at the drugstore between $10 and $20 depends what I’m buying and that’s an average price range for most cosmetics companies that sell similar products. Avon has some great sales. I can usually buy what I want for $5 to $10. Better and better. Switch my buying habits to the best bang for my buck for a product that has good results for me!

To be more specific I like a tinted face cream with an SPF of at least 15 and I don’t want to pay any more than around $15 tops for it. Amway does not sell this product, or if they do its come on since I quit and I shudder what price they’d be charging if that $60 face cream in the tiny container is a benchmark figure. To get the same Amway benefits I’d have to buy several different products. So start with the $60 face cream, add $20 for Amway’s sunscreen and say another $40 for some bronzer make up. 3 different products for big bucks. I got what I needed on my last order from Avon. $5! And only one product!

Selection is another factor especially when it comes to products with color like lipstick, eye shadow, and nail polish. Walk into a drugstore and there are literally hundreds of products. Likewise in Avon’s catalogue. Hundreds of colors and a variety of prices anywhere from $3 up. Maybe 20 colors from Amway. I don’t remember what they cost but I remember being horrified paying that much for them.

Quality is another consideration. We want the product to actually work for us. What works on one person doesn’t work for someone else. It takes a little trial and error to find out what works for you. Fortunately drug stores carry enormous selection of different brands at reasonable prices.

Looking good. Yup. Women wear make up to look good. If we prefer light pastel tones that match our skin type that’s what we choose. If Amway only offers deep brassy cosmetics that would look more styling on another skin type we are not going to be happy wearing them and looking like a clown. A fucking Amway clown that is!

I never ever heard a Platinum, Emerald, or Diamond speaker say Artistry is one of the top 5 “prestige” cosmetics. They always said Artistry is the top 5 best selling or top 5 best in the world.

No woman considers “prestige” when buying makeup. I mean really who gives a shit about prestige when more important considerations are price, selection, and quality. That’s how women select their cosmetics. We like to get good value for our money.

We don't give a flying fuck when some dumb ass ambot tells us that Captain America or whatever starlet is wearing Artistry. At least in the commercials. Its called paying someone big bucks to endorse your product. If McDonald's paid me a million bucks to appear in a commercial and take a bite out of a Big Mac and gush about how good it is I'd do it too. "This Big Mac tastes like a million bucks! Yummy!"

And we espeically don’t give a flying fuck how “prestigious” the cosmetics are. What are we going to do. Strut down the sidewalk and accost every woman and say “I’m wearing prestigious make up and you’re not. I’m in Amway and that means I’m better than you because I wear prestigious make up and you don’t. So ha! You fucking loser wearing Revlon!”

That’s part of our Platinum’s teaching. To insult women’s make up choices. http://marriedtoanambot.blogspot.com/2010/10/insulting-womens-makeup-choices.html

Amway IBO Rats

I saw a good comment left recently on Joecools (aka my) Amway scheme blog so I have decided to run with it here.

IBO rats stalk people in malls, eat shitty food bars, pay double for water and always on nutrilite pills.

Yup absolutely. IBO’s stalk people in malls and grocery stores looking for new victims to attack with their viruses. Rats are scavengers, likewise IBO rats. The rodents might eat the guts off a dead porcupine that’s been hit by a car but IBO rats eat those shitty food bars. Same thing. It takes a creepy unclean rat to eat either one of those! Pay double for water? Surely you jest. A 24 pack of water costs less than 5 bucks at Walmart. Amway sells 24 packs of Perfect Water for closer to $50 so thats 10 times the cost.

Rats are nocturnal creatures, much the same as Amway IBO rats and their late night meetings. Turn on the lights and they run for cover so they won’t see the truth. Scurrying around late at night plotting to fuck up other people’s lives. Have you ever seen Hoarders TV show. Just about every episode has houses with rats in them either dead or alive that have destroyed the owner’s property who never really seem to care that they’re sharing their house with these vile creatures. Like their rodent relatives Amway rats also infest peoples homes. They find some way to squeeze inside the home and plot how they will destroy all the nice things the owner has in their house and replace them with shitty Amway products.  

Some of those upline rats walked through our house with Ambot. They came armed with a worksheet that listed household goods that people commonly buy to show how Amway sells similar products. I didn’t accompany Ambot and the Amway rats on their route of destruction about how we should get rid of illegal products and immediately replace them with overpriced substandard Amway shit. I wonder how the rats liked looking in the bathroom cupboards to see what brand of tampons were in there!

From Wikipedia “Rats are seen as vicious, unclean, parasitic animals that steal food and spread disease.”

I’d say that description is very accurate of Amway IBO rats too. The people I met in Amway were about the most vicious human beings I’ve ever come across. Greedy materialistic bastards who brainwashed Ambot to spend all our money on Amway products and tools and when the savings had been used to use the credit card. Better known as helping the upline get the PV up there so they could meet their monthly goals. And when the money flow stops? Those Amway rats launch an attack squealing out “loser” and “quitter” and “you’ll be broke for the rest of your life”. Amway rats are not happy until they cause divorces, bankruptcies, and foreclosures.

Unclean? Well maybe IBO rats bathe regularly in Amway soap products but there is more than one way to be unclean. It refers to breaking the law too. Every Amway rat I met has been guilty of doing something unclean such as lying, scamming, fraud, mistreatment of others, etc.

Parasitic? Spread disease and viruses. Yup Amway IBO rats do that. The diseases and viruses they spread have to do with destroying marriages, destroying families, destroying bank accounts....

Steal food? In a way Amway rats steal good food by telling their downline to change their spending and eating habits to accommodate Amway products. Down with fresh fruit and vegetables and use Amway Nutrilite vitamins instead.

Amway IBO rats can be compared to London’s black plague which probably started from infested fleas that lived on the rats that overran the city. An estimated 100,000 people were estimated to have died before the great fire in 1666 helped wipe out the plague.

It is unknown the number of people who have been destroyed by Amway IBO rats. Hundreds of thousands? Millions? Vicious parasitic creepy Amway rats creep out to leave comments on blogs like mine but scurry back into their sewers when they’re confronted with the truth and unable to prove their lies. What’s it going to take to destroy the Amway rats and wipe them out for good?

The only good rat is a dead one. And maybe not ever then. One still has to dispose of it.

Nasty Amway Shit Lurks in the Cupboard!

*****WARNING!!!! THIS POST CONTAINS A FRIGHTENING IMAGE!*****

Its been a few years since we jumped off the Amway hell wagon. We used up or threw away most of the Amway shit fairly quickly. One exception was when Ambot was cleaning out his medicine cabinet last May and came across old Nutrilite vitamins that he had to dispose.

I thought that was the end of all shitty Amway products that have been contaminating our house.

Nope. But I’m sure its not the first time in my life I’ve been wrong about something!

I was looking for a cookbook a small paperback that must have slipped behind the bigger books. I pulled out books and YIKES! There it was lurking in the dark depths and first time to see the light in many years. A Nutrilite raspberry joint health twist tube.

Yuck! Nasty! Sour stuff!

Ambot used to buy a box of all 4 or 5 flavors every order he put in every week. These little buggers are supposed to cure all known illnesses. They were to be used in conjunction with a bottle of Perfect Water to give it that extra edge for the miracle cure. Case of Perfect Water cost around $50. I think those twist tubes were $10 for 20 in a box. Different flavors to cure different ailments. The twist tube staring me in the face says raspberry and its for joint health. I don’t remember the other flavors or what they cured except for one other flavor was for immunity. Hell if it provided immunity from Amway I might have guzzled those suckers like there’s no tomorrow! As for the raspberry twist tube I like sour things so it wasn’t as bad as XS piss water but it did have an extra nasty little kick unpleasant aftertaste to it and it was usually impossible for me to finish off the entire bottle of spiked Amway water.

Even though I was usually able to almost finish drinking the sour raspberry water it did absolutely nothing for me in the way of joints and mobility and I took at least 5 of these a week for many months. Neither did it help the arthritic person we sold a box of raspberry twist tubes and Perfect Water to. Did piss all zippo! No difference taking this much hyped Amway snake oil product than drinking water out of the tap. $10 might seem like a small price to pay for 20 vitamin sticks but when they do nothing they’re yet another waste of money on some Amway product with over inflated claims of the miracles it can perform.

Yup just another Amway scam!

What’s really scary is that this joint supplement shit has no expiration date on the twist tube.

This better be the last shitty Amway product I find polluting my house. I'm gonna have to bring in someone to perform an exorcism on this place!

Seeing Shitty Amway Products Everywhere?

There was a special announced at a spa I’ve never been to and I think that’s a good way to try out a new place. If the treatment is not what you’re expecting then you haven’t wasted too much money and you can stick with your regular spa.

The new spa offers the usual type of beauty treatments and is a one woman show, sole female proprietor. There are no other employees. Very nice, clean spa. Lovely lady. No complaints about the shop or the owner.

Yup a real business owner. Not some phony ass Amway “independent business owner”!

I’m sitting in the chair for my pedi and choosing the nail polish color. I don’t recognize any of the polish brands. Name doesn’t really matter much to me anyway. Color is more important than who makes it. I choose a cute color and wait for her to set things up and look around the room. On the far side are bookshelves with various lotions and beauty products. Nothing unusual there. Any hair salon or spa has similar products displayed.

And then I see it. On the top shelf. Two boxes with stripes. They look suspiciously like the puke yellow and green stripes on a box of nasty shitty Amway food bars. It even looks like the printing running sideways between the stripes is in the same spot where Nutrilite is spelled on the Amway shit bars. I’m too far away to read it but I’m really suspicious now and spend the whole pedi treatment glaring at those two boxes. It looks to me like the boxes on the shelves are bigger than the one the Amway shit bars come in. It also looks like a couple of lemons are on one box. Amway food bars are shitty enough without putting in sour lemon flavor. I decide its probably citrus scented lotion and comes in a box with similar stripe packing.

I keep looking around the room. The bottles of lotions from the facial are near enough to where I’m sitting that I can read the labels. They are definitely not Artistry. Just some standard beauty salon lotions. But I can’t help myself from going back and staring at those two boxes on the top of those shelves.

Pedicure is done and I move over to the station for the manicure. I am now closer to the bookshelves and those boxes and can read them. No doubt about it. Those are fucking Nutrilite food bar boxes!

All I can think the whole time I’m getting my mani is oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck I better not get an Amway pitch! And if I do get prospected I’ve got to get a response ready. And if I don’t get an Amway pitch I’m going to leave her an extra big tip for not harrassing me.

I sneak glances around the spa. I don’t see any Amway products or propaganda. The proprietor is a very nice woman, quiet not too chatty. Definitely not using FORM on me. I wonder if her husband has gotten involved in the Amway scam and she is too embarrassed to approach people but she wants to support her husband so she puts those 2 boxes of Nutrilite bars on the top shelf and hopes no one will notice them and ask her anything. Or perhaps she knows someone else who’s in Amway and that’s her way of getting them to shut up by sticking a couple of boxes way up there and hoping no one notices them.

My guess if she was really an Amway commissioned salesperson her upline would be riding her ass about using only Amway Artistry cosmetics, lotions, and nail polish in her spa and Amway shit would be all over the place. Any woman whether or not she runs a beauty salon knows when they look at the Amway catalogue and sees those fucking outrageously overpriced products that they can buy similar products for a quarter of the price Amway charges. You gotta watch the bottom line when you’re in business. Except when you’re in the Amway business where you’re expected to drop hundreds of dollars a month into shitty overpriced products. She had lots and lots of different colored nail polish. No way in hell does Amway offer that kind of color selection. She can probably buy 10 nail polishes for the same price as Amway charges for one.

I got the best facial I’ve ever had so I’m definitely going back there. I just hope the Amway pitch doesn’t come out after one has become a repeat customer!

What to say when Amway order arrives in the mail

I hated it whenever brown boxes from Amway arrived in the mail because that meant my ambot husband had just purchased a bunch of overpriced shit on his credit card.

He must have thought it was like Christmas two or three times a week when the Amway shit arrived by good old USPS. Too bad there's nothing that stops those buggers from delivering the mail! What is it? Rain, sleet, snow, and dark of night etc. Nothing stops the mailman! Let's see him delivering in the dark of night to an Amway night owl meeting!

Unfortunately reality kicks in when the next credit card bill shows up with $1000 charged to Amway.

This photo exactly depicts what I'd say when he opened the box of Amway shit.

Amway Dog Food

Today I’m going to do an impression of our sack of shit Platinum and go off on an unrelated rant. Unlike him it won’t take half an hour.

I’m going to rant about the shitty Amway dog food. It costs approximately the same as any high end dog food out there. Whether or not it has the same high quality ingredients as other dog food companies I can’t say because I haven’t recently compared. I will say the one time we bought a bag of Amway’s brand dog food that I’ve never seen so much dog shit in my life! I’m the one who usually walks the dogs. I’m more into fitness than Ambot and I walk everywhere and those dogs give me an excuse to get out of the house every couple of hours. I take the dogs out for a walk first thing in the morning. I’ll usually get one shit out of each of them. After we switched them to Amway dog food the morning walk consisted of 4 to 6 shits! Luckily I stuff lots of baggies into my pockets! These dogs were easily shitting 10 times each by the last walk of the night and huge baggy filling ones at that! I'd get home and flush them one at a time and the next thing you'd know the toilet was clogged and the bowl nearly overflowing. The Amway dog food made me very proficient at using a toilet plunger! But I confess. If Ambot was home and the water was rising in the toilet, I'd turn the water off and start screaming that the big shits had plugged the toilet again and make him unclog it. 

Ambot tried to put the Amway dog food onto his next order. I told him if he wanted to keep buying the shitty Amway dog food that he would now be taking over full time walking the dogs and cleaning up after them - a task he doesn’t like. I suggested he find someone in his upline to take over the clean up duty if they wanted us to buy Amway dog food. I got no takers. Imagine that! 

I was able to put the dogs back onto the high quality, low stool dog food that they’ve enjoyed in the past.

This drastically reduced the money I was spending on baggies.

This also drastically reduced the number of clogged toilets.