Sunday, February 12, 2012

Don’t Smash My Alarm Clock!

One of the bullshit things we used to hear at every Amway meeting were stories about how ambots were becoming financially free and about the last morning they had to wake up and go to work for the man.

They all have the same story. They are always men - but then what else do you expect from the Amway good old boys club but a bunch of male chauvinist pigs. They’re all sitting at their desk getting their work done. Then their wife walks in and says its time. Apparently this was not something preplanned. The wife decided on it on the spur of the moment an hour or two earlier. Then they both go in to see the boss and tell him to stick his job where the sun don’t shine. Then they walk out of the hated company and away from the hated J.O.B. hand in hand gloating at the coworkers watching them. Standing outside are all the members of their Scamway team. What? None of those fuckers didn’t have jobs they had to be at? There is always a limousine waiting outside. The husband and wife get into it and it always takes them straight home. Oh come on use some imagination here. There is probably at least a 2 hour minimum on renting a limo. You could just ask the chauffeur to drive around and have sex back there. But no. They all want to go home. And what is the first thing they do when they get home? They smash the alarm clock! They will never have to wake up to an alarm clock ever again. Especially not now that its been smashed to smithereens. They can wake up when they’re done sleeping!

And everyone in the upline has the same bullshit story. It never changes. Sudden epiphany at work to quit and walk out. Cult followers outside cheering the ambot on for quitting. Limo. Smash alarm clock.

First a couple of irregularities I see in this often told story.

Conceivably the husband drove a car to work. He leaves in a limo. What’s he going to do about his car? I realize its probably one of those clunker ambot shitmobiles that’s always breaking down but presumably the boss ain’t going to be too happy about the car being abandoned there. Boss calls tow truck. Ambot gets ticket to pay for towing and storage fees. Refuses to pay. Car goes to auction. Tow company leaves bad rating on ambot’s credit report.

And who has an alarm clock anymore? Didn’t they go out in the 70’s when clock radios became all the fashion?

The sack of shit Platinum taunted us about this tale and didn’t we want it too?

Lets see. I haven’t worked for anyone in years. So what am I supposed to do? Go into the bathroom and stare myself down in the mirror and say I quit. Fuck you. I should line up all my Barbie doll collection as my pretend coworkers so they can all catch this magical moment. I stomp out of my house and there’s the limo. Who called and paid for this sucker? Hmm. Scenic drive for a couple of hours and then bring me back home? The street is lined with clunkers belonging to ambots who must have all called in sick today so they can come over to my house and watch this magical moment as I tell myself I quit and I’m never going to work for myself again. I really hesitate to take a sledge hammer to my clock radio. It works just fine. It will be a mess to clean up. And what happens when I want to listen to music in the evening and can’t find my iPod.

And the next morning I can wake up when I’m done sleeping! Well shit. What fun is that? I already do that. Been doing it for years. I’m usually done sleeping around 8am. Kind of an internal alarm clock. Yeppers. I do not set the alarm on my clock radio unless there is something specific I have to be up early for which usually involves getting myself or someone else to the airport. And I’m very talented, probably much more so than those ambots with the smashed up old fashioned alarm clocks. Yesterday I was done sleeping twice. Yes! Twice! Lets see an ambot try that one! The first time I was done sleeping around 5am. I woke up thinking about something I had to do, went into the office, powered on the computer, left a note for myself so I wouldn’t forget then I went back to bed. The next time I was done sleeping was at 9:45am.

I want to make sure everyone knows you don’t have to be a scamming Amway IBO to tell your boss you quit. Anyone at any time can tell the boss fuck you I’m outta here. You also don’t need to be quitting your job to hire a limousine. People hire them all the time for all kinds of different occasions. They have different prices depends on if you take a regular sized limousines or if you like one of those stretch SUV kinds and where you’re going or how long you need to use it. The limousine businesses will take money from anyone, they’re not exclusive to ambots!

Anyway I guess it makes a nice fairy tale for the Amway cult followers. Those bastards need to update their story to keep up with the times though. We are coming up on a generation who will have no idea what is an alarm clock.

Huh? What is a typewriter?


  1. Hey Anna, I was invited by a friend and another couple about Amway a few weeks ago. I went to 1 rally and 2 coffee meetings, it was exactly how you said, and I left today, without joining in the first place. Almost got vacuumed in to stay but left clean slate, without paying anything.
    Really thankful to have found this blog.

    Just one question, where did you get the stats that less than 1% of IBO's make money? I want to read into more detail about that.

    1. Anonymous - I'm glad you've found my blog too! Everything exactly as I said and I have had people who were involved in Amway 15, 20 years ago and say exactly what I said happened to us happened years ago to them to, upline said the exact same things nothing changes.

      You have dodged the bullet! Thankfully or you will have many months of financial and emotional devastation ahead of you!

      Look at the Amway promotional material your friends gave you. You will be looking at something that's got lots of circles and lots of dollar amounts and PV amounts and lots of mumbo jumbo that doesn't make sense. Somewhere there will be really small print that tells you the percentage of IBOs who actually make the amount of money quoted.

      There is a reason why Amway's promotional information says the average IBO earns $115/month - though I hear the dollar amount has increased sometime in the past few months I have not seen the new marketing information. First of all most people in Amway rarely earn a commission check more than $10 a month and to earn that you have to buy around $300 in Amway products. So already you're in the hole! Lets take that $115 in fact I'll be generous and bump it up to $120 cause round numbers are easier for me to work with! You have to spend 10 to 15 hours a week working part time to earn that average income. Times 4 weeks in a month. Lets go to the high end 15 hours a week x 4 weeks = 60 hours a month. To earn $120 average a month in Amway? Do the math. $2/hour! Way less than minimum wage at least in this part of the world!

      Don't kid yourself that you'll only put in 60 hours a month. My husband put in at least 100 hours a month wasting his time in the Amway business.

      There was a discussion on Amthrax blog a couple of years ago and somebody posted a link to the Amway business overview.

      You got to go in a few pages and look for the small print. It shows 2 levels of Platinum and how many IBOs earn that much: one Platinum level that the percentage of IBO's reach is .346% and the other is .164%

      You will also note that .0726% of IBO's will actually make $95,000. That would be gross. You probably have to buy a few thousand a month in Amway products to earn that much money. I've seen videos on Youtube of former Emeralds which is a pretty high level saying they were making between $2000 and $3000/month in Amway.

      Here is a good book to read, its a free download called Merchants of Deception and it is a really chilling read when you realize that you have escaped this hell. He also tells in the book how 99% of IBOs will not make money in Amway.

  2. Anna - Yes, as you know, it was my deeply-deluded Ambot brother's dream to tell his detested-boss to stuff his detested-job and then drive off into the sunset in a stretch-limo.

    I don't know whether he ever acted out this guided-fantasy (i.e. rented the limo), or whether he ever smashed his detested-alarm-clock, but he did regularly read 'Amway' comic-book stories relating how his 'Upline leaders' had all gone through this ritual transformation ceremony - spending many grey years reluctantly turning-up to their detested-jobs in tatty secondhand cars as miserable, inferior 'losers,' but then, one fine day, escaping in gleaming chauffeur-driven luxury as superior Ambot 'winners.'

    You probably know that you can see a video of the formerly-deluded, Ambot 'Emerald,' Eric Scheibeler, shooting his detested-alarm clock on the 'Dateline' exposé of 'Amway/Quixtar', broadcast in 2003.

    It is also important to remember that, prior to his descent into the stale darkness of the Ambot bunker, Eric had been a US Marine Reserve officer and a federal auditor. When he came out of the cult into the clear light of day, Eric finally began to count the terrible cost. But, at first, he was crippled by guilt and suicidal (this was mainly due to his sudden realization that he'd been brainwashed and used to cheat thousands of people, including friends and family members).

    As you know, eventually, Eric (who is a very rare individual) was able to write a book in which he courageously accepted that he had wasted ten years of his life playing a pernicious, self-gratifying, cultic game of make-believe. Although he had once commanded thousands of constantly-churning Ambots in his 'Downline,' in reality, Eric lost a total of $100 thousands, but he passed around $4 millions to his own 'Upline' commanders (This cash came mainly from the fraudulent sale of publications, recordings, tickets to meetings, etc., on the pretext that these exclusive materials contained secrets vital to achieving success in 'Amway').

    Unknown to his unquestioning 'Downline,' Eric's role in 'Amway' had been that of a machine programmed to recite scripted-lies and to act as a smiling decoy. He'd actually financed his Ambot slavery/addiction by secretly selling-off his own capital assets and by going into debt.

    Unlike Eric Scheibeler, my brother is a moral coward who simply cannot face up to the truth. He also financed his Ambot slavery/addiction first by secretly using his own assets, but then by stealing from his family.

    It's sad to reflect that today is my brother's 55th birthday. I have not seen, or spoken to him, since the mid-1990s. Even at that time, I wasn't speaking to him, I was speaking to a programmed-machine. Some of the scripted-lies this grinning Ambot decoy kept reciting to me, were:

    -'I cannot communicate with you!'
    -'Get a life! You are a Negative Loser!'
    -'You are too selfish to understand how this Business works by helping people!'
    -'There are literaly billions at stake!'
    - 'Within 10 years, all supermarkets will be finished in Britain!
    -'The Amway business is taking-over!'

    Over the years, I've encountered numerous deluded, Ambots, but never one more-brainwashed by the 'MLM' fairtale, than my own brother.

    David Brear (copyright 2012)

    1. David - yes that smash the clock fable is a big thing to ambots. They've already walked down the path of hell and this yet another ritual that only a privileged few can ever obtain.

      As I pointed out if a person really wants to ride in a limo they can find another way to do it. Get a few friends to split the cost if $50 or $100/hour or however much they cost is too much money.

      Yeah I heard all the same things your brother said. Well not the one about supermarkets finished in Britain! In fact I don't think I remember hearing about supermarkets being finished here either!

      Ambots of the world fighting a battle to take over the world. I think I did a post about that once!

    2. I also read the Merchants of Deception book, and highly recommend it to anyone who is "on the fence" before they fall over into the dark pit of Amway brainwashing. Written from the perspective of someone who lived and breathed Amway and worshiped and believed the upline when they made all the wild promises and he felt their "love". A pivotal part of the book was where he found himself being trotted out on stage as an Emerald who "had made the big time" and realized that those people cheering for him were where he once was seeing those "rich Emeralds and Diamonds" bragging of their wealth as something he, too, could achieve. Only one problem. He knew he HADN'T made it. He was still earning only a fraction of what they promised Emeralds would make. The whole "lie" was starting to unfold before his eyes as he saw him being used as propaganda, same as the ones he saw trotted out in the past . Well, I'll just recommend others to download and read it. It really shows how they play the game, how he put in ENORMOUS time and effort to little results and the canned advice from the upline was always "you must not be working hard enough. And you need to buy more books and CDs. That'll do the trick". The only "trick" the books and CDs do is to keep an Ambot's mind freshly brainwashed. That's why they push the steady diet of it. Because with Amway, as in all cults, once the person has time to step back and let the brainwashing start to fade (like a drug addict in rehab), it's like a veil of truth slowly being revealed. And Amway does NOT want that to happen.

    3. Dave - its a chilling read for sure when you have a more fuller understanding of how the Amway cult works and the brainwashing and the lies. And knowing no matter how hard you work the Amway business, no matter how hard you try, how many hours you put in, the money is not going to be there. This guy had 1000 people in his downline and he couldn't make much more than $3000/month. So much for the ambots who show up to my blog and leave Amspeak comments about how "you didn't try hard enough" but none of them will answer the definition of what's trying hard enough. Read Eric Scheibeler's book. This guy gave Amway all he had and became Emerald a level not too many people reach and according to his upline he still didn't try hard enough.

  3. I always remember the story I heard somewhere, where some new platinum wasn't satisfied with just smashing the alarm clock... he blew it away with a 12-gauge. Fantastic, I bet all the ambots gathered in his backyard cheered and hooted. And if I was living next door I would've called the cops, a bunch of yahoos unsafely discharging a fireman mere yards from my kids. Dumb fucks.

    1. JQ - the story you heard and what David above mentioned from the Dateline story may have been Eric Scheibeler blowing away his clock radio.

      The links to the Dateline Amway exposee on Youtube are 2 parts:

      At the beginning of the 2nd part you can see the clock being shot.

      You're lucky the cops would show up if someone was firing a gun in your neighborhood. Someone was shooting a gun in a popular walking trail next to my house. In fact I walked over to see who the hell is firing a gun (with my loaded .44 magnum under my jacket that is!) and there's 2 guys just sitting there firing a gun every few minutes. I backed off and called the cops but by the time they showed up the guys had left. You're right. Dumb fucks unsafely firing a gun in an area frequented by families.

  4. Anna - Your anonymous new reader can find lots more shocking stats about the big 'MLM income opportunity' lie, on my colleague, Robert FitzPatrick's, pyramid scheme alert.

    It's not just the bosses of 'Amway' who have been hiding overall insolvency/churn rates of 100% (excluding the insignificant percentage of apparently successful 'MLM' schills). However, during the previous 50+ years, more than ten millions American have played the pernicious 'Amway' game of make-believe and lost, because it has always been centrally-controlled and loaded.

    Because it has been effectively-impossible to make significant, regular, retail sales to the public, in order to become a so-called 'Amway Diamond', new recruits must religiously buy the recommended monthly-quota of 'Amway' wampum each month, and then find, and maintain, at least 10 thousands further unquestioning 'Ambots' to do exactly the same. However, since around 60% of 'Amway' recruits have never renewed their first annual contract, the so-called 'Amway income opportunity' has always been an illusory bubble in a constant state of inflation and deflation. In recent years, more than 1.5 millions insolvent temporary 'Ambots have been vanishing each year to be replaced by yet more wide-eyed dreamers, who in turn will vanish and will be replaced, etc. ad infinitum.

    Perhaps the most graphic way to descrbe this cruel illusion, is to say that MLM cults have been like a gang of enormous, narcissistic, rich and greedy giants who have all been bleeding to death for decades, but who have been kept alive, and given the appearance of rude health, simply by continually pumping them full of millions of poor little human's blood.

    David Brear (copyright 2012)

    1. Thanks for the link David.

      For all Amway's efforts in the past dozen years to promote themselves as ecommerce online business, the Internet also becomes their worst enemy as people post their stories and get the facts out there to help others learn the truth.

      The unfortunate thing is most people don't do their research first. They've been put through a high pressured business meeting and after no success in Amway then they start to look to see what others have to say about this business opportunity.

      I can't tell you how many searchers obviously current IBOs who end up at my blog after searching for how to prospect for new IBOs or how to have a grand opening or how to create a name list and many other things that you'd think would be taught at Amway meetings or by counselling with upline. All you get from either is useless knowledge that never helps to grow an Amway business. Because there is nowhere left for it to grow. The word is out.


Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!

If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:
1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.
2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.
3. Naming names? Public figures like politicians and actors and people known in Amway are probably OK – the owners, Diamonds with CDs or who speak at functions, people in Amway’s publicity department who write press releases and blogs. Its humiliating for people to admit their association with Amway so respect their privacy if they’re not out there telling everyone about the love of their life.
4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.
5. Posting something creepy anonymously and we can’t track your location because you’re on a mobile device or using hide my ass or some other proxy. I attracted an obsessed fan and one of my blog administrators attracted a cyberstalker. Lets keep it safe for everyone. Anonymous is OK. Creepy anonymous and hiding – go fuck yourselves!
6. Posting something that serves no purpose other than to cause fighting.
7. Posting bullshit Amway propaganda. We might publish that comment to make fun of you. Otherwise take your agenda somewhere else. Not interested.
8. Notice how this blog is written in English? That's our language so keep your comments in English too. If you leave a comment written in another language then we either have to use Google translate to put it into English so everyone can understand what you wrote or we can hit the Delete button. Guess which one is easier for us to do?
9. We suspect you're a troublemaking Amway asshole.
10. Your comment got caught in the spam filter. Gets checked occasionally. We’ll get to you eventually and approve it as long as it really isn’t spam.