Amway - Free Gift After Quitting

I just know I'll never see it all when it comes to search criteria for people finding their way to my blog.

And you know me, always up for finding some new keywords to add to my blog!

So this searcher Googles "Amway free gift after quitting".

Kind of on par with the searchers who are looking for a free gift for signing up with Amway.

Yeah right. Everyone's laughing now!

Those of us who have sunk in lot of money to the Amway pyramid scheme know that there ain't nothing free in Amway!

I managed to find an image that pretty much sums up the free gift for quitting Amway. This is the freebie you get from everyone in your Amway upline. And as you can see even its not quite free.....

You have to pay for any words of wisdom from the Amway cult leaders!

Don’t Smash My Alarm Clock!

One of the bullshit things we used to hear at every Amway meeting were stories about how ambots were becoming financially free and about the last morning they had to wake up and go to work for the man.

They all have the same story. They are always men - but then what else do you expect from the Amway good old boys club but a bunch of male chauvinist pigs. They’re all sitting at their desk getting their work done. Then their wife walks in and says its time. Apparently this was not something preplanned. The wife decided on it on the spur of the moment an hour or two earlier. Then they both go in to see the boss and tell him to stick his job where the sun don’t shine. Then they walk out of the hated company and away from the hated J.O.B. hand in hand gloating at the coworkers watching them. Standing outside are all the members of their Scamway team. What? None of those fuckers didn’t have jobs they had to be at? There is always a limousine waiting outside. The husband and wife get into it and it always takes them straight home. Oh come on use some imagination here. There is probably at least a 2 hour minimum on renting a limo. You could just ask the chauffeur to drive around and have sex back there. But no. They all want to go home. And what is the first thing they do when they get home? They smash the alarm clock! They will never have to wake up to an alarm clock ever again. Especially not now that its been smashed to smithereens. They can wake up when they’re done sleeping!

And everyone in the upline has the same bullshit story. It never changes. Sudden epiphany at work to quit and walk out. Cult followers outside cheering the ambot on for quitting. Limo. Smash alarm clock.

First a couple of irregularities I see in this often told story.

Conceivably the husband drove a car to work. He leaves in a limo. What’s he going to do about his car? I realize its probably one of those clunker ambot shitmobiles that’s always breaking down but presumably the boss ain’t going to be too happy about the car being abandoned there. Boss calls tow truck. Ambot gets ticket to pay for towing and storage fees. Refuses to pay. Car goes to auction. Tow company leaves bad rating on ambot’s credit report.

And who has an alarm clock anymore? Didn’t they go out in the 70’s when clock radios became all the fashion?

The sack of shit Platinum taunted us about this tale and didn’t we want it too?

Lets see. I haven’t worked for anyone in years. So what am I supposed to do? Go into the bathroom and stare myself down in the mirror and say I quit. Fuck you. I should line up all my Barbie doll collection as my pretend coworkers so they can all catch this magical moment. I stomp out of my house and there’s the limo. Who called and paid for this sucker? Hmm. Scenic drive for a couple of hours and then bring me back home? The street is lined with clunkers belonging to ambots who must have all called in sick today so they can come over to my house and watch this magical moment as I tell myself I quit and I’m never going to work for myself again. I really hesitate to take a sledge hammer to my clock radio. It works just fine. It will be a mess to clean up. And what happens when I want to listen to music in the evening and can’t find my iPod.

And the next morning I can wake up when I’m done sleeping! Well shit. What fun is that? I already do that. Been doing it for years. I’m usually done sleeping around 8am. Kind of an internal alarm clock. Yeppers. I do not set the alarm on my clock radio unless there is something specific I have to be up early for which usually involves getting myself or someone else to the airport. And I’m very talented, probably much more so than those ambots with the smashed up old fashioned alarm clocks. Yesterday I was done sleeping twice. Yes! Twice! Lets see an ambot try that one! The first time I was done sleeping around 5am. I woke up thinking about something I had to do, went into the office, powered on the computer, left a note for myself so I wouldn’t forget then I went back to bed. The next time I was done sleeping was at 9:45am.

I want to make sure everyone knows you don’t have to be a scamming Amway IBO to tell your boss you quit. Anyone at any time can tell the boss fuck you I’m outta here. You also don’t need to be quitting your job to hire a limousine. People hire them all the time for all kinds of different occasions. They have different prices depends on if you take a regular sized limousines or if you like one of those stretch SUV kinds and where you’re going or how long you need to use it. The limousine businesses will take money from anyone, they’re not exclusive to ambots!

Anyway I guess it makes a nice fairy tale for the Amway cult followers. Those bastards need to update their story to keep up with the times though. We are coming up on a generation who will have no idea what is an alarm clock.

Huh? What is a typewriter?

Ambot Mission - Seek and Destroy!

When we were in Amway it appeared to me that the only thing the ambots in our upline were interested in doing was destroying other people’s lives. Of course all under the guise that they were “helping” others.

Yeah helping them to the poor house!

It doesn’t matter if you’re an IBO who has been involved in Amway only for a few months or for many years. Either way you’re losing lots of money. 99% failure rate. Amway’s own literature shows that less than a third of 1% of IBO’s make money. Its a safe bet that everyone you meet who is involved in Amway is losing money and they’re probably bitter about it but they have to keep up a happy face. The lie. Business is going good. To prove it they’ll whip out a credit card and buy themselves some new toys like a music sound system. Couldn’t afford this if I wasn’t doing good in Amway. Fake it till you make it!

I met a lot of angry people in Amway even though they plastered on fake smiles and pretended like nothing was wrong if there was a newcomer to the group. But they were angry. They were brainwashed by their Amway cult leaders to spend a lot of money buying Amway products, buying motivational books and CDs, buying tickets to functions, travel expenses involved in functions, and if they didn’t have the spare cash on hand to go into debt. Also ambots had to furnish their homes with nice things and buy nice business suits and do everything they could to convey to others how successful they are. Bring out that credit card again!

Ambots were losing money and going into debt to do so all under the name of Amway. Thanks to their upline cult leaders who convinced them this is what they had to do to be financially successful in Amway. It might be hard in the beginning but once the money starts rolling in the big bucks from residual income will be coming in forever.

In the meantime ambots are so angry about their financial losses that they get extremely angry at people who have things they don’t have. Can’t afford a nice car or to buy a house as long as you’re involved in Amway. The upline cult leaders tell you how to spend your money and you damned well better spend it on everything that has to do with Amway!

In their anger ambots seek out others they can financially destroy too. Gotta suck in some other poor bastards in whatever extreme hope they have that one or two downline or customers might help them get some of their money back. So they lie and say everything is wonderful and Amway is awesome and come and join us on the road to financial freedom. And once you’re in my downline if you own things that I don’t have I’m going to take them away from you!

Our upline Platinum (and probably everyone between us and him) was outraged that I drove a newer model car. Outraged! I paid cash for it before we signed up with Amway so its not like I had to take out a loan or anything. The car was mine free and clear. To me its just a car. I don’t have any strong emotional attachment to it. I don’t even like shopping for cars. I keep the car looking good inside and outside, regular oil changes and tune ups and other maintenance as needed. Its reliable and looks good, almost looks like new condition and meets my purposes. As far as our Amway upline was concerned how dare I have a better car than others in my upline. How dare I!!! The rest of the upline bastards are driving around in rust bucket clunkers that are always breaking down. We were counselled to sell my car, spend a few hundred bucks and buy a 30 year old luxury car clunker and use the remaining money to buy Amway products.

Yeah right you sack of shit Platinum. Fuck you asshole. How about I quit Amway and keep my car?

The other thing that caused outrage with our upline was that we owned a house. Well many years ago we saved up money for a down payment and bought our first house. That’s what responsible people do isn’t it? This is all happened long before we got involved in Amway. As life progresses and needs change people sell their houses and use the equity to buy a new one and here we are in our current house also purchased before getting involved in Amway. The upline ambots were outraged! How dare we own a house when hardly anyone in our upline does! So how can those fucking ambots take our house away from us? Got it! They counselled us to take out a 2nd mortgage or take out a line of credit against the equity in the house and use this money to buy more Amway shit and “invest in your business”. Keep doing it until you can’t pay it back and meet your mortgage payments and the bank will foreclose. Its all part of our scheme. You can’t have what we don’t have because you haven’t earned the privilege yet!

Yeah right you sack of shit Platinum and all the rest of you fucking upline bastards. How about I quit Amway and don’t lose my house?

Angry jealous ambots. Just another one of life’s pleasures one has to put up with when getting involved in the Amway cult.

“You can’t have what we don’t have and if you already have it when you come into Amway we will take it away from you!” The ambot mission. Seek and destroy!!!!

Amway Ambots and Smoke and Mirrors

At sometime in our lives, we have been or are likely to be approached by recruiters of Multi-Level Marketing (MLM) and Network Marketing (NM) organizations, promising a great new business opportunity that only takes a few hours a week and yet will eventually net you a thousand dollars a week to put you on the road to becoming financially independent.  As many of us know, the biggest of these organizations is Amway, followed by many smaller copycats, each with their own variations, all trying to make you think they're better than the other. 

MLM's are notorious for presenting to you a barrage of smoke and mirrors that mislead you with hype and emotionalism that feeds on your deepest needs while subduing your reason and common sense.  They usually start with catchy lines like "Are you tired of working for someone else?" and "Would you like to be your own boss?" followed by "How would you like to earn an extra thousand dollars a week in your spare time?" and "What if you could do this part time while keeping your regular job?" 

Nope those are not my words but they could have been written by me or just about anyone else who has been screwed over by some ambot and Amway.

A good article, though long read http://www.debunkingskeptics.com/MLM.htm

Yes I’ve heard all of the above that I quoted. We’ve been harassed by fucking Amway IBO’s to join their scam except the liars neglect to tell you there’s a less than 1% chance of making money. Instead they feed you that bullshit about working 10 to 15 hours a week and making thousands of dollars. Put in two to five years and the residual income will be rolling in forever and we’ll be financially independent for the rest of our lives.

I’ve heard all those lines, though I still have never been able to grasp how my Ambot fell for being tired working for someone else and would you like to be your own boss seeing as how he hasn’t had an employer in many years. I’m  not really sure what line that fucking arrogant prick sponsor got him on other than the part about working only a few hours a week for a couple of years and never working again for the rest of your life while residual income rolls in forever. When people near retirement age they often look for other forms of income and investments to help make the retirement years a little nicer.

Anyway, that’s my contribution today. A link to a thought provoking article that does not entirely focus on Amway.

Freedom! Flush That Stinking Job!

Yes I actually had a searcher end up at my blog after doing a search for “Freedom! Flush That Stinkin Job!” In fact it took the searcher to my post about Get Your Wife Free.

Actually here I’m going to pretend I’m our Platinum and go off topic. The damnedest thing about that particular post is that I’m getting tons of hits from (I assume) men looking for information on how they can get a free wife. Sure there are some countries where the groom buys a bride from the bride’s parents but some of the searchers are here in the USA! Boy did these guys end up in the wrong spot if they’re trying to go el cheapo when it comes to buying a bride!

The only time I’ve ever heard the phrase “Freedom! Flush That Stinking Job!” was during the NBC Dateline story about Amway. For anyone looking for those links, its on Youtube:

Part 1 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BuEfVbnCT2Q

Part 2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dR2_m3lefOI

And don’t all those morons look like they’re in a trance while they’re chanting?

Even more disturbing is what legitimate business operates in this manner? Amway the corporation tries to convince themselves and everyone else that they’re a legitimate business and for sure their ambots try their damnedest to convince everyone that Amway is not a scam but then you see a video like this. It screams CULT! I’ve been to a few business meetings over the years and never have I witnessed anything like that with any legitimate company.

To the best of my recollection I never heard that chant at any Amway meetings I attended. Could be another line of sponsorship that gets the cult followers to scream out that chant or perhaps the cult leaders have decided to lay off the chanting for awhile following the Dateline story.

Those Amway cult leaders stand on the stage and get their followers fired up leading them in the chant “Freedom! Flush That Stinking Job!”. The unfortunate reality for the cult followers are that they won’t find freedom and they won’t flush their stinking job. This is a scam! The only people in the arena who have the freedom to flush their stinking job are the cult leaders on the stage. They are ripping off their cult followers charging them big bucks to come into the arena and listen to their bullshit motivational speeches. The cult leaders are peddling dreams that won’t come true for their followers.

Don’t flush that stinking job! You need it to pay for functions like this and make your cult leaders rich!

“Freedom! Flush That Stinking Job!” That’s the battle cry of Amway warriors.

Those ambots need to stop chanting and get a clue.