Amway WWDB Spring Leadership Stole My Phone! (Screams an ambot)

An ambot and his phone are parted. Such a sad tale!

After Spring Leadership ended I joined the mass exodus of cars heading out of town. I’d been driving for about half an hour when Ambot’s phone rang. It’s one of his upline’s phone numbers coming up on the call display but its someone crossline who’s actually on the phone talking to him.

The gist of the conversation is the bozo can’t find his cell phone and wonders if Ambot has seen it or taken it with him. Now you’d think a conversation like that would end pretty fast with Ambot saying he hasn’t seen it, he doesn’t have it, he doesn’t know where it is. Then the cellularless bozo can hang up and try someone else. But no. Him and Ambot have some deep philosophical conversation about the missing cell phone that dragged on a good ten minutes. How dumb is that? Especially since we’re in another state and racking up long distance charges seeing as how we don’t have a flat rate plan across the land. Hey, Bozo! Get a clue! Ambot ain’t seen your fucking phone. Hang up! Try someone else instead of discussing the possibilities of what happened to it.

I guess his cell phone has a recording device and Bozo set the recorder and put the phone down somewhere near where Ambot and others in his line were sitting. So Bozo puts his phone down and then buggers off somewhere. Maybe he had a hot date?

Now he’s interrogating the people who were sitting near where he left his phone thinking that one of them might have picked it up or seen who did.

I mean what does he want? A confession? OK I’ll do it just to get the bastard off the phone! “I confess! I saw the henchman take it!”

Just get the bastard off the phone so I can enjoy the drive without enduring any Amway bullshit.

What did you bastards do 20 years ago before everyone owned cell phones with recording devices?

I know! I know! You packed around those big honking tape recorders, you know the ones the size of a lap top that had a microphone attached with a four foot long cord.

At least those big suckers are harder to lose.

As for Bozo, give it up already will you. If your phone isn’t where you last left it and no one turned it into security or lost and found then some thieving IBO is the proud owner of a new cell phone.

Better stop by Verizon in the morning!

Yay! Spring Leadership is DONE!

Spring Leadership sucks!

WWDB sucks!

Amway functions suck!

How Many Ambots Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb?

I hope everyone is having a good April Fool’s Day!

I’ve resurrected a joke I left in comments a couple of months ago just in case some of my readers missed it.

How many ambots does it take to change a lightbulb?

The entire “team”!

A lowly newly recruited IBO who still has enough room on his credit card to buy an overpriced piece of shit Amway lightbulb.

Another lowly newly recruited IBO who will be sent up the ladder first to wash down the area. Free IBO slave labor!

Another lowly newly recruited IBO who has been assigned to provide refreshments - XS piss water and shitty Amway food bars.

5 IBOs who have been assigned to be a committee to figure out what to do with the old lightbulb.

Another 5 IBO’s who have been assigned to pray that the spirit of darkness has not descended upon this home to spread negativity.

The Eagle who asks permission from the Platinum if they are allowed to change the lightbulb.

Someone from crossline who is a specialist in changing lightbulbs but first permission must be granted from the Emerald for him to fraternize with the crossline enemy team.

The crossline’s Platinum who is only showing up to ensure no MLM espionage is going on here.

The ambot’s Platinum who shows up to whine and bitch that he could be spending time with his family and instead he is here to “help” his downline and “bless” the lightbulb once its installed.

The Emerald who shows up to tell all of them he doesn’t believe in change.

The Diamond who sells a motivational book on how to get it done.

One negative dream stealer who claims its a mathematical probability that it can’t be done.

You know all they had to do was find one woman who could do the work of 20 men. Who would then point out the blatantly obvious that the light isn’t even burned out it just needed to be screwed into its socket a little tighter! And then point out the even more blatantly obvious that there were already extra lightbulbs in the cupboard that were stocked up the last time there was a sale at Lowe’s so they didn’t even need to go out and buy those expensive shitty bulbs from Amway!

You’re NOT Invited!

On Sunday morning I’m driving Ambot to the stadium where Spring Leadership is being held. I’ve got to circumnavigate the entire complex to get to the front doors so I can get Ambot there early enough to stand in line with all the other keeners. I’m about two blocks away when Ambot spots the sack of shit Platinum standing on a sidewalk or parking lot area with about 30 cult followers standing around him in awe listening to him spout off his bullshit. Fucking morons!

Ambot panics! He’s late for some meeting that he doesn’t remember being told to attend. He’s mostly scared shitless because he’ll be berated by the sack of shit Platinum and ridiculed in front of everyone else for being late. That’s the way Amway cult leaders operate. So I let him out of the car and continued alone to entertain myself for the day.

Later Ambot tells me when he’s rushing to join up with the cult followers that the henchman springs out of the group and wants to know what he’s doing there. Ambot explains we were driving past and he saw the cult leader preaching to his flock and didn’t want to miss out on this very important meeting that he clearly was not invited to.

The henchman explains its for another downline in the sack of shit’s Amway business and because Ambot is in a different crossline and the brainwashing methods are different he was not invited to this cult meeting.

Splitting hairs, the henchman is in the same line as Ambot so why is he being subjected to this other line’s brainwashing? Ah ha some cult followers are just gluttons for punishment!

But then the henchman tells Ambot he can stay if he wants to. And of course he does. Can’t miss a word of wisdom from the beloved cult leader.

Amway WWDB Spring Leadership sucks!!!!

And so does the Platinum sack of shit!!!!!!!!!

Get Permission to talk to Crossline

Ambot needed a new radio put in his car and one of the crossline worked independently installing electronics such as this. It would seem easy to just approach the dude at an Amway meeting and ask if he can do the job.

But no, that logical thinking that most adults would use does not apply to Amway cult followers. They must go upline and ask permission to speak to the crossline about doing the job.

So Ambot dutifully went to the Platinum sack of shit and asked if he could speak to the crossline dude about getting a radio installed in the car. Once he received permission to speak to the crossline about the job it was done.

The radio would have been installed a whole lot faster if we'd gone just about anywhere else and hired someone to install it rather than asking permission, waiting for permission to be granted, and then waiting for the next Amway meeting to discuss the job.