Ambot Searchers Finding Anna Banana!

Sometimes I jot down search criteria and then put it together in a post to come up with something to update my blog and I’ve been noting some interesting Internet searchers for the past couple of weeks. Got some Amway sex demons on the loose again. And ambots searching for information that should come from the assholes in their Amway upline as part of their “teaching”. So much for the wonderful teaching and training and mentorship that Scamway brags about when IBO’s have to search for this information on the Internet. The comments in red are mine.

“How to get rid of Amway” - Amway is like a cockroach. You can’t kill it with a rock!

“I have a bottle of Amway product” - well if I were you I wouldn’t go around bragging about it!

“Amway products for 0 sperm count” - now this could really fuck up someone’s day that some Amway asshole is getting the word out that Amway’s products can be substituted for birth control products. The best birth control product is just telling potential sex partners that you’re in Amway and they won’t want nothing to do with you!

“Amway, how to break the brainwashing” - that’s something we’re trying to figure out all the time. All I can do is get the word out and make sure people know how you get treated by the assholes in your upline when you sign up with Amway. Stay away from everyone in Amway!

“Do Amway women go to bars to get laid” - well I guess they gotta go somewhere seeing as how their husbands are too busy attending Amway cult meetings and hanging out with their Amway buddies and not interested in anything unless its got something to do with Amway.

“Amway mattress” - the shipping costs on that bastard must be HUGE!!!

“Amway function June USA” -  I believe the function is in July.

“What is double eagle in Amway” - just another miserable fucking asshole in Amway who’s out to destroy your life.

“Julie Duncan Amway sex tape” - To quote Amway IBO’s - who cares????

“How to terminate Communikate” - hey this searcher made a rhyme!

“Dean Kosage fraud” - I know I’ve never written a post about this so someone must have left a comment that picked up on the search engine.

“Amway cash back” - ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!! Ok that’s enough laughing for today!

“What is an Amway grand opening” - its a fucking waste of time and money to “announce” your business to your friends and family. Don’t do it!

“Ganesh and Neha Shenoy split reason” - yup some fucking nosy ambot looking for stuff thats none of their business.

“Artistry cosmetics” - yup I’m high on the search engines for this information.

“Amway WWDB” - yup still high on the search engines!

“Scamway” - yup come here to find out how we got scammed by Amway Scamway.

“Why did Ganesh and Neha Shenoy divorce” - oh and about a couple dozen other versions of this so this will be the last Shenoy quote I refer to in this post. Bunch of fucking nosy Amway ambots can’t mind their own business.

“Amway new car” - unlikely. Ambots drive shitmobiles that are ready to fall apart on the way to the next Amway cult meeting.

“Debbie and David Shores home foreclosure” - Again a topic I’ve never posted about so someone must have mentioned something in comments. One of the joys of being high on the search engines for just about everything related to Amway.

“Amway horror stories” - Yup my blog is full of these!

“Amway cult” - Yup I talk about the Amway cult my husband was in and the assholes we had to put up with.

“Amway sex products” - yup lots of ambot interest because they ain’t getting any. Thats what happens when you’re in a cult. Total turn off for your partner!

“Married to an Ambot rules!” - ha ha! Love it! Thanks for the shout out!

“Amway brainwash” - I talk about that on my blog all the time how my husband was brainwashed by the upline assholes in his Amway WWDB cult.

“Amway families cult” - another distressed person needing information on this horrible cult.

“Amway sex” - over and over and over and over.........

“How to get somebody out of Amway” - yup get plenty of people ending up at my blog after doing a similar type search

“No one can steal my dream” - not sure if this is an Amway ambot or not. What you gonna do if someone steals your dream? Call the cops and arrest them for theft? Dumb ass search.

“Amway what is CDs does” - hunh? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

“Procedure of cancellation of Amway member” - does someone want to cancel an Amway member permanently like kill them or is this just a roundabout way of finding out how to quit Amway.

“Amway tax evasion” - yup that is what Amway is all about!

“Boise Idaho Amway convention” - come here to find that information because its real hard to find anywhere else on the Internet.

“How to sell Amway products online” - Are you allowed to do that? Doesn’t that compete with Amway’s web page and they are already selling products online? Sounds like somebody better check their bullshit Amway contract.

“Double X sex” - what is it with ambots thinking Double X is good for sex? The best thing for sex is to get the hell out of Amway!

“Amway Nutrilite product for sperm growth” - don’t believe it! Just another lie told by an Amway asshole to get you to buy their shitty overpriced products.

“Amway teams and married couples and sex” - OK whatever turns your crank.

“Fuck Amway family reunion” - Hey my alter ego is out there somewhere! My sentiments exactly!

“Amway Ribbon product is crap” - oh come on now call it like it is. Its shit!

“Amway asshole” - Yup I talk about the assholes in our Amway upline all the time!

“Amway dog food” - I get a lot of searchers who end up hearing about how my dogs ate this food and churned out Great Dane sized dog shit. Big enough dog shit that it clogged our toilet. Each dog filled - and I mean FILLED - at least 10 baggies a day while we were feeding them shitty Amway dog food.

“Make me an IBO” - why the fuck would you want one?

“Does Amway have a car bonus?” - Ha ha!!!! Thanks for the laugh!

“Amway makes you retire” - Nope. But Amway does make you file for bankruptcy or make your partner file for divorce.

“How to say get fucked in ibo” - surely you mean igbo? If you really mean IBO they’ll fuck you over for sure!

Anna Banana is a Disgruntled Amway Artistry Model

Yup someone finally figured it out. A Google search for "Is Anna Banana from married to an ambot a disgruntled Artistry Model?" and I knew they had me!

So I decided to post a pic from my modeling heyday. I just know that everyone will be so envious and dying to know how they too can achieve this styling look. The biggest tip I can give is to get your makeup application advice from IBOFB. He is also available to give instructions on how to insert Amway's prestige tampons! For a price of course!

Yes you too can look like an Artistry model if you buy overpriced substandard Amway Artistry cosmetics!

Lying Amway Asshole of the Week - April 24, 2012

So I get some lying Amway asshole from Seattle Washington who showed up at this blog to leave his lying words of wisdom. Yet another lying Amway asshole who accuses me of having a job - not that I think people who have jobs is a bad thing I haven’t worked a job for someone else in years. So I gave the lying little Amway asshole 12 hours to prove that I have a job - where I work and how much I make etc - and if I don’t then I’m going to feature him as the lying Amway asshole of the week. So here we are! When pressed to prove their lies, lying Amway assholes scramble back into the sewer like the little rats they are.

Wow you people are very misinformed or just don't care to learn some facts. Amway is a very successful business model for over 50 years. How long has your company been doing business? Are there some bad IBOs? Yes, just like there are bad people in every industry. Amway did $10.9 billion is sales in 2011 and 63% of that is returned to the producing IBO. If you don't produce you don't get paid. It is that easy. Artistry brand skin care and cosmetics is used by Miss America and all of the contestants. Amway has been giving International Environmental Awards before going green was cool. I could go on and on how you are misinformed but it is actually a waste of my time. I am trruly sorry you have devoted an entire blog to stealing people's dream. Enjoy your lives of working for other people and worrying if your company or government job will be around in the future.

Seeing as how this was a post where I made fun of a searcher who was staying at a hotel and looking for information on Amway’s book of marriage I hardly see how I was misinformed or didn’t care to learn the facts.

If there is an Amway book of marriage I admitted I don’t know anything about it but I’m not surprised that such a thing exists. Seeing as how this Amway asshole from Seattle says I’m misinformed and don’t care to learn the facts that tells me an Amway book of marriage does exist and the fact that I was poking fun at it and saying no sex when you’re married until you hit Emerald may be incorrect. Maybe you can have sex after you’re married when you reach Platinum according to the Amway book of marriage. I don’t know. Amway asshole from Seattle didn’t clarify exactly what I was wrong about.

Amway has been a successful business model for 50 years? By whose standards? Who says so? What legitimate person - who is not a fucking Amway asshole - says that and where do they have their facts? And more importantly where in my post about the Amway book of marriage did I even bring up the Amway business model? Fucking jerk ass Amway ambot!

Typical Amway ambot strategy to change the topic as a distraction technique.

Amway did 10.9 billion in sales last year? So what? That’s good for the people who own Amway. Not so good for the lying Amway asshole IBO’s in their sales force who only get a few bucks in commission. And more importantly where in my post about the Amway book of marriage did I even bring up how much Amway made or didn’t make last year? Fucking jerk ass Amway ambot! My blog is for pointing out how my Amway upline and everybody’s Amway upline are a bunch of lying assholes! My blog isn’t to discuss Amway sales and business plan.

Lets talk about Amazon! 40 billion in sales last year. MUCH better $$$ than Amway! Been around a lot less time than Amway. No one goes around accusing Amazon of being a pyramid scheme. They do get accused of other things though! Namely being a bad ass employer who don’t supply air conditioning in their warehouses and staff passing out from heat exhaustion. http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,2393303,00.asp You’d think Amazon could take some of that 40 billion and put in a few air conditioners.

Likewise you’d think those greedy ass owners of Amway could give their employees benefits. Amway employees show up on my blog and leave comments that the company treats them like shit. As if I needed any proof of that, in 2011 Christmas Day fell on a Sunday. On Monday December 26 the businesses that are open tend to be restaurants and retail because a lot of people got Christmas money and they want to spend it ASAP. Banks, office employees, non-essential services get the day off on Monday if Christmas Day falls on a Sunday, its the right thing for employers to do. Not Amway. I had an Amway employee who was really pissed off not to get a day off for Christmas and a long weekend like many employers offer that they were fucking around on the Internet instead of getting their work done and one of the places they surfed to was my blog.

Artistry is used by Miss America contestants because Amway supplies it and pays them endorsement fees! Fucking moron! Do you think Miss America does it out of the goodness of their heart? Do you think the Miss America pageant actually pays for this shit? Its called endorsement! Its called advertising! If McDonald’s paid me a million bucks to appear in a commercial and I had to chomp into a Big Mac and say it tastes great I’d do it too. Many companies pay models and spokespeople. And more importantly where in my post about the Amway book of marriage did I even bring up the Amway Artistry cosmetics or Miss America? Fucking jerk ass Amway ambot! Using the old Amway technique of throwing in other shit to distract people away from what is being discussed.

So who gives a flying fuck if Amway has been giving environmental awards or not? Where in my post about the Amway book of marriage did I even bring up the Amway and enviromental awards? I brought it up in another post a long time ago. Fucking lying jerk ass Amway ambot!

If you want to waste everyone’s time on how misinformed we are about the Amway book of marriage that was pertaining to my post - then keep to the fucking topic! How are we misinformed about the Amway book of marriage and that the Amway asshole looking for it isn’t a fucking loser. Stick with the topic you lying Amway asshole instead of throwing out distraction bullshit about how misinformed we are and then spouting off a bunch of bullshit that has nothing to do with the topic I posted about which is making Amway upline look like a bunch of assholes.

I have devoted my entire blog to stealing people’s dreams? Where in my post about the Amway book of marriage did I even bring up people’s dreams? Fucking lying Amway ambot asshole! My entire blog is devoted to showing everyone what a bunch of assholes my Amway upline are and how the lying Amway ambots that show up here to post comments are a bunch of assholes too? How is discussing Amway assholes stealing people’s dreams? Fucking lying Amway asshole!!!! Amway is the biggest dream stealer around!

Enjoy my life working for other people? Here’s what got you in trouble in the first place you lying little Amway asshole from Seattle. What job? I enjoy my life just fine helping my husband in our business as we slip into semi retirement so our business won’t be around forever when we decide to retire for good. What’s it to you anyway you fucking lying Amway bastard from Seattle? How does whether or not our business is still operating years from now affect your life one way or the other? We're a local business. We don’t have clients in Seattle so obviously you’re not one of our customers. Whew! I wouldn’t want a customer who is a lying Amway asshole anyway!

What makes you so sure Amway is going to be around in a few years? People who have been scammed by Amway and Amway’s former cult members take to the Internet and let others know of our experiences. Eventually due to mass saturation the Amway pyramid scheme will be so well known that the cult leaders will be unable to recruit more members to scam.

So why don’t you take a one way trip up the space needle you fucking troublemaking lying ambot? The world doesn’t need any more lying Amway assholes!

Amway Artistry Cosmetics

I’ve been getting a lot of hits recently for Artistry Cosmetics so I figured its time to devote another post to that shitty overpriced low quality lousy selection fucked up Amway mess that women are expected to slop on their faces.

Unknown to me Ambot bought a very expensive $60 face cream. I cringed at the price tag but seeing as how he’d already bought it, I used it. It didn’t do anything a $15 bottle of Oil of Olay’s face cream can’t do for me so I didn’t buy it again after it ran out. Yikes! I still can’t believe Ambot was so brainwashed he’d spend that kind of money when there’s a better quality product out there at a quarter of the price. With the $45 in savings we could have gone out and had a decent dinner somewhere. Sure beats the upline splitting a $45 commission!

I usually buy makeup from a friend who sells Avon. Unlike Amway, Avon always seems to have sales going on. Lipstick, eye shadow, or nail polish for $2.99? I’ll take a few colors. Deodorant at .99 cents each? I’ll stock up for a year. I love a good deal.

Never got a good deal on piss all nothing with Amway!

Luckily I was well stocked up on Avon products prior to Ambot getting involved in Amway. I told him I still wanted to buy Avon from our friend. Better prices, larger selection, equal quality. Ambot was outraged. “You need to support our business and buy from our store.”

Like shit. I’m a victim of the Amspeak that he’s duplicated off the fucking upline.

So I point out the obvious. “If we’re the only customers then we’re a bunch of fucking idiots for selling our products too high priced.”

A few Artistry products slunk into the house courtesy of Ambot. A couple of bottles of overpriced nail polish including a bottle of final gloss coat or whatever its called that I don’t normally use. A very expensive tube of lipstick in a shade that I hated because Artistry has such a limited choice of colors. There was a bottle of really stinky body lotion. What did they do? Harvest it from a dead eucalyptus tree? A tube of burnt caramel smelly hand cream that made my hands all itchy and scratchy after I rubbed it in. Also tried Amway Artistry eye cream. Didn’t do piss all for me. Oil of Olay and Avon products work MUCH better. In fact several women discussed the same thing that Artistry’s eye cream didn’t do nothing for none of us. At which point IBOFB very stupidly walked into the conversation and suggested that we were putting the eye cream on incorrectly and gave us instructions to which he got laughed at for his trouble. Women who’ve been putting on cosmetics for years know how to apply eye cream. We don’t need some arrogant shithead man telling us how to apply cosmetics. Or tampons either!

At every Amway meeting the upline lied about Artistry being one of the top 5 cosmetics in the world. According to my research, depending on whose list (usually magazines do these surveys), Artistry falls somewhere between number 15 and 30, which is not too shabby in the greater scheme of things, but never in the top 5, though Avon usually is. I guess not too many ambots think about doing research to see if their upline is lying or not. I’m not an ambot so I had no problem hitting the Internet to source out the lies told by our lying scheming upline assholes.

The same fucking assholes that tell you that you can’t believe anything written on the Internet because its a bathroom wall and full of lies. Then they try to promote Amway as an Internet business. Fucking double talking morons!

What I eventually found out is that Amway’s Artistry cosmetics are in the top 5 “prestigious” cosmetics. Its a survey run by a company called Euromonitor where Amway pays them to run the survey. Well you get what you pay for. Pay Euromonitor enough money and choose your spot on that list.

And who the fuck is Euromonitor anyway? Like anyone on this side of the Atlantic has heard of them. Why not use a well known American survey company? Probably because the well known American survey companies have already rated Amway Artistry cosmetics and the competition beat them out.

Now here’s the thing for women buying cosmetics. What’s the criteria we’re looking for when buying make up or skin care products? What is important to us?

Price is certainly a factor. We like getting a good deal. I can buy Oil of Olay face cream products at the drugstore between $10 and $20 depends what I’m buying and that’s an average price range for most cosmetics companies that sell similar products. Avon has some great sales. I can usually buy what I want for $5 to $10. Better and better. Switch my buying habits to the best bang for my buck for a product that has good results for me!

To be more specific I like a tinted face cream with an SPF of at least 15 and I don’t want to pay any more than around $15 tops for it. Amway does not sell this product, or if they do its come on since I quit and I shudder what price they’d be charging if that $60 face cream in the tiny container is a benchmark figure. To get the same Amway benefits I’d have to buy several different products. So start with the $60 face cream, add $20 for Amway’s sunscreen and say another $40 for some bronzer make up. 3 different products for big bucks. I got what I needed on my last order from Avon. $5! And only one product!

Selection is another factor especially when it comes to products with color like lipstick, eye shadow, and nail polish. Walk into a drugstore and there are literally hundreds of products. Likewise in Avon’s catalogue. Hundreds of colors and a variety of prices anywhere from $3 up. Maybe 20 colors from Amway. I don’t remember what they cost but I remember being horrified paying that much for them.

Quality is another consideration. We want the product to actually work for us. What works on one person doesn’t work for someone else. It takes a little trial and error to find out what works for you. Fortunately drug stores carry enormous selection of different brands at reasonable prices.

Looking good. Yup. Women wear make up to look good. If we prefer light pastel tones that match our skin type that’s what we choose. If Amway only offers deep brassy cosmetics that would look more styling on another skin type we are not going to be happy wearing them and looking like a clown. A fucking Amway clown that is!

I never ever heard a Platinum, Emerald, or Diamond speaker say Artistry is one of the top 5 “prestige” cosmetics. They always said Artistry is the top 5 best selling or top 5 best in the world.

No woman considers “prestige” when buying makeup. I mean really who gives a shit about prestige when more important considerations are price, selection, and quality. That’s how women select their cosmetics. We like to get good value for our money.

We don't give a flying fuck when some dumb ass ambot tells us that Captain America or whatever starlet is wearing Artistry. At least in the commercials. Its called paying someone big bucks to endorse your product. If McDonald's paid me a million bucks to appear in a commercial and take a bite out of a Big Mac and gush about how good it is I'd do it too. "This Big Mac tastes like a million bucks! Yummy!"

And we espeically don’t give a flying fuck how “prestigious” the cosmetics are. What are we going to do. Strut down the sidewalk and accost every woman and say “I’m wearing prestigious make up and you’re not. I’m in Amway and that means I’m better than you because I wear prestigious make up and you don’t. So ha! You fucking loser wearing Revlon!”

That’s part of our Platinum’s teaching. To insult women’s make up choices. http://marriedtoanambot.blogspot.com/2010/10/insulting-womens-makeup-choices.html

Escape the Rat Race or become a Rat-Faced Amway IBO?

Want to start the New Year by finding a new career and becoming your own boss? That goal could be on some people’s New Year’s resolutions. Whatever you do don’t get involved in a scam like Amway or another MLM where less than 1% of the victims make money. And the only way they make money is by taking advantage and scamming money from their downline. There are other careers to consider, many that have smaller expenses than Amway. In the Amway scam it costs an average of $700/month to buy Amway products to reach minimum PV, buy monthly CD’s and books, attend functions, and travel expenses.

I read an article on Yahoo called 8 jobs to escape the rat race.

Many of these jobs listed can be done from your own home and seeing as how most people already own computers and cars they can get started fairly cheaply. Or at least the same cost as spending a year in the Amway hell hole throwing money at the great Amway gods who sit on top of the pyramid. I’ll do a quick comparison. After a year most people quit Amway and leave with nothing to show for it except debt, a deflated bank account, unhappiness, and emotional scars. Investing in yourself in a legitimate business opportunity can bring happiness, a new career, and possibly financial independence.

So here are the 8 jobs to escape the rat race that I read on Yahoo. I know people who do some of these jobs. I’ll list them off in the same order they’re in the Yahoo article:

1. Yoga teacher - I’ve done a lot of yoga classes and know several teachers. I know one teacher who rents a hall to hold classes several times a week and who also travels to her clients who don’t want a classroom experience. Some like to do yoga in their back yard or at the beach or other location to get in touch with nature. The person in the Yahoo article sells yoga videos. I’m not sure what kind of training is required to teach yoga. Most teachers I know have been yoga students for a long time and then just moved into teaching as a way of keeping themselves fit. Perhaps yoga studios and gyms require their teachers to have some sort of accreditation which can cost a few hundred dollars but teaching yoga independently may not require anything more than years of studying and sharing that knowledge. Drop in yoga classes cost about $10. Coincidentally the same amount as paying to go to an Amway meeting. The benefit is a yoga class lasts an hour opposed to Amway meetings that drag on for hours. Yoga classes are very quiet with soft background music and only the instructor speaking quietly helping the students through the poses. Unlike Amway meetings where the attendees are screaming “Yeah!” “Freedom!” “Hallelujah!” etc.

2. Massage therapist - There’s nothing like a good massage and I know several masseuses. Some have a mobile business and will come to your house with a folding massage table. Others work out of spas. And another has a home based business so people come to her house for various massages. They all charge about the same, about $100/hour once tax and tip is included so its pretty good money. They’ve all taken training to become massage therapists and learn various types of massages and dealing with injuries and the courses cost in the $5000 to $10,000 range to become a masseuse. So I would say for about the same amount of money most IBO’s waste in a year in Amway they could take classes to become a masseuse and have a lifetime career earning around $100/hour, choosing their hours, and possibly fairly little overhead once they’ve bought their equipment.

3. Technical writer - I don’t know anyone in this field. Expanding it out further there are all kinds of writers and most people can do this kind of business out of their house. There might be some classes to take, cost unknown, probably varies depending on what kind of writing but probably no overly formal, expensive training if one already has a talent for writing.

4. Make up artist - again this seems to be the kind of career that one could take training at or just years of experience and having a knack for this kind of work. I do not know anyone who is a make up artist but expanding it further I do know of a hair stylist who has a business set up in her basement. She went to hair cutting school years ago and I think its just a knack for styling hair, kind of like other artists. Years ago another friend of mine went to hair dressing school but had to drop out because she was allergic to coloring treatments so its not for everyone. Here I want to add that being an Amway IBO selling overpriced, low quality, lousy selection Artistry cosmetics and calling yourself a make up artist does not count!

5. Internet tutor - Not an occupation I know of anyone who does. Branching out I know someone who runs a home based computer repair business. He offers pick up and drop off service. I don’t know if he took any training or if he’s just one of these natural computer geeks who’s good at taking things apart and fixing them. Makes pretty good money doing this.

6. Social media consultant - Ah, now this is the kind of work that IBOFB does. Companies hire people like him to give them an Internet presence mostly hitting social media sites like blogging, commenting on other blogs, Twitter, Facebook and make them look good. Most companies want a positive image out on the world wide web and I see company consultants trying to solve customer service problems, offering giveaways, running contests, making apologies and trying to fix problems, that kind of thing. IBOFB has an uphill battle trying to take a company with a tarnished reputation and in trying to turn the image around has only succeeded in making himself and the Amway corporation look like a bunch of assholes. Those assholes have not made any attempt to do the right thing and refund people’s money and apologize for upline abuse. Their strategy is to lie, deny, and point fingers. But what else do you expect from scammers? Other social media consultants do a much better job but that comes from dealing with reputable companies who care about people and doing the right thing. No special training required, just have to be good at social media and good at dealing with people. Or suck at dealing with people and trying to straighten out problems as in Amway and IBOFB’s case! But then Amway is one of those rare companies who doesn’t give a shit that their victims are sharing their stories on the Internet and has no interest in talking to dissatisfied customers, fixing the problem, and refunding their money.

7. Private chef - A friend of mine runs a catering business mostly she can handle on her own or sometimes she has one or two people she brings in for larger events. She does this either in her own kitchen or if a hall is booked and has a kitchen there she might do some of the cooking on site. She also provides meals that can be frozen and then taken out and thawed, baked for people who have busy lives. She didn’t take any chef classes, just has a knack for cooking good meals.

8. Personal trainer - I know someone who is a personal trainer and runs a mobile business going to client’s homes or gyms. As weather permits she also runs fitness classes in local parks. Again low overhead but she did take classes and get accredited as a fitness instructor. Not sure how much those classes cost her to take, lets say around $5000. This is less than what some people waste a year chasing the Amway dream.

So I conclude that for about the same amount of money that people throw at the great Amway god in a year, they can start up their own business, often running it right out of their own home or going to client’s homes. And have a lifetime, or at least many years, worth of income generated from doing this business. Most IBO’s quit Amway in less than a year with losses of $5000 to $10,000.

New Year’s resolution? Stay the hell away from Amway and try one of the above careers. Your sanity and your bank account will thank you!

The Ambot Who Stole Christmas

Even though it was Christmas time unhappiness existed all over the world because of a horrible evil cult named Amway.

 

The cult followers were known as ambots and they got together to put up a Christmas tree.

And they put ornaments on it.

They hung mistletoe.

The problem they quickly learned was that no one wanted to kiss an ambot under the mistletoe! Yuck gross!

 

Poor Tommy was a nasty Amway cult follower. He used to spend Christmas with his family.

Then last year he made the mistake of putting up an Amway Christmas tree.

He gave his relatives shitty Amway products for Christmas.

Tommy made the fatal mistake of giving his wife Artistry cosmetics for Christmas even though he knew she liked reasonably priced Avon products much better.

 

He gave his little girl an Amway doll for Christmas.

  

The Amway products he had so lovingly gone into credit card debt to buy all ended up in the trash.

Except for the Nutrilite vitamins that were flushed down the toilet. THE

BEST PLACE

FOR SHITTY AMWAY PRODUCTS TO END UP!!!

 

So poor Tommy ended up hanging out with ambot buddies at Christmas because his family had left him - just one of the pitfalls of being involved in Amway.

Tommy even met the ambot of his dreams at the cult follower’s Christmas gathering.

All those unoriginal ambots! They all duplicated each other and gave the same Christmas present to everyone else and put it under the ambot Christmas tree.

To show no hard feelings Tommy’s ex-wife even sent along a Christmas present for their Platinum cult leader.

After getting high on XS the ambots put on Santa suits and went to the Amway Center and punched out the snowman.

The police showed up and gave the ambots sobriety tests which they all failed but oddly enough when they blew into the breathalizer no one showed any alcohol levels. Seeing as how the cops don’t like Amway or ambots they decided to toss them all in jail anyway for snowman assault.

And one final warning for anyone thinking of spending Christmas with an ambot.

I hope no one finds any Amway shit under their Christmas tree!

Wishing everyone happy holidays and Merry Christmas!

Searchers who end up at Anna Banana’s Blog

I get a lot of interesting and not so interesting Google searches that end up at my Married to an Ambot blog. Some searchers are looking for something completely unrelated to Amway and they usually leave as soon as they’ve realized their mistake. I get a few horrified IBO’s who end up here too. Most leave but a few stick around long enough to leave an Amway speak comment about how we didn’t try hard enough.

I get some searches where I say to myself, why the fuck is someone searching for that? Talk about brainwashed!

And I get people who are so  pissed off at Amway, end up at my blog, and literally spend hours reading every single post I’ve written.

What I love is my blog is high on the search engines for IBO’s who are seeking information about Spring Leadership and Dream Night. Nothing like screwing up Amway and WWDB! Of course right now its Spring Leadership that’s coming up in a couple of months and anxious IBO’s are seeking information. Instead everything high on the search are blogs similar to mine that tell what really happens at these Amway functions. We’re higher than the web pages of Amway and WWDB propaganda. What does that tell you? Us bloggers are gaining the edge getting the truth out there and getting more page views than the corporation! Yay us!

I also get a huge amount of searches looking for “Artistry Cosmetics” I’m right up there on the first page behind the Amway propaganda on Google. Doesn’t seem to bother Amway too much that I’m diverting their traffic otherwise they’d have offered to buy my blog.

A recent searcher typed in “Fuck Brad Wolgamott”. Hmm. I’m pretty sure I’ve never written that phrase! They ended up at my IBO’s are Free Labor post. Someone may have typed Brad’s name in the comments and of course my posts are full of fuck this and that so its logical to get a hit with that search criteria. I’m pretty sure I might have heard Brad Wolgamott speak at an Amway function though nothing about him stands out. Unmemorable experience for me and I have nothing to say about him. But I’m willing to help out that searcher and send out a big fuck you his way.

I get a lot of search hits for “Amway horror stories” or “Amway cult” or “cult horror stories”.

There’s a lot of people out there who don’t realize that Amway is a cult. I wouldn’t have thought so either until Ambot’s involvement and the brainwashing by his "Christian" Platinum cult leader.

I get searchers for creepy employees ending up at my Amway is Creepy post. Oddly enough I’m right below the hit for David Letterman is creepy for having sex with female employees!

I get a lot of searches for “quit Amway” or similar searches like how to get friend or husband to quit Amway. What about “big losses in Amway”? I get lots of searchers finding their way to my blog with that one too. “Annoying Amway IBO’s” in the search criteria find their way to my blog too!

Does Amway head office care that people are actually typing this stuff into search engines and coming to my blog? Do they not care that people think Amway IBO’s are annoying? Nope, not a chance. Amway head office = apathy central.

Sometimes I get people looking for an Amway IBO. Poor bastards must want to buy some overpriced Amway shit! Boy did they come to the wrong place! Well they could click on one of my Google ads that pop up from time to time, ad space purchased by Amway IBO's. Send a buck or two my way by clicking on an ad. That works for me!

What’s even more bizarre is that I get search hits for IBO’s looking for basic business information that their upline should but does not provide them with like “help with selling Amway products” or “how to hold an Amway Grand Opening”. Yup they get directed to my post about our Grand Opening and figure out real fast that no matter how much planning goes into it and how many people are invited, it’ll be a bust. I’m glad I’m getting that information out there. Don’t waste your time or money on an Amway Grand Opening!

I get 2 or 3 searchers each week looking for “how to say fuck in igbo”? They all end up at my Fuck You IBO post.

Am I the only person wondering what is igbo?

Google search! Ta da! Its a native tribe language in Nigeria.

I am the top hit for someone looking for the Igbo translation for fuck. I’m even higher on the search engine that the person who has this post: “Help! Why are my Igbo men rubbish in bed?”

Sorry I can’t help her with that one! Ha ha but I love it!

What’s really sad are the ambots who search for “World Wide Dream Builders is awesome”. Talk about brainwashed! I mean who is so infatuated with the scam that they type that into a search engine? The same type of brainwashed ambot who types in “Amway is awesome” and come to my blog thanks to the Youtube video called My Awesome Delicious Amway scam.

These must be new recruits in the early stages of the brainwashing process. Give them a year and they’ll be back doing searches like “Amway is a cult”, "Amway scam", “Amway sucks” and “lost money in Amway”.